What the hell are we supposed to do...

Today Mom and my sister went to visit Dad. Another horrible visit. Despite my sister vowing to erase her prior visit from her mind, and go with an open mind, hoping for the best... They were greeted with Dad pulling a "Gandhi" by refusing to eat. It is obvious he thinks if he does not eat, they will send him home. All he talked about was going home...

My sister had me try to talk Dad into eating, but eating was the last thing on his mind. He was determined and fixated on getting the hell out of there. I really believe, he is blaming his confusion and difficulties on the facility. Just like he did when he lived at home, he blamed his confusion on the stress of living with Mom. She didn't understand and she didn't listen. She was not cooking the right foods for him. She couldn't hear or see. He was determined enough to do his own cooking and his own laundry, which would take up his entire day.

Dad does not know he has Alzheimer's. Am I wrong to think maybe we should tell him? I tried calling his psychiatrist yesterday, and he did not return my call. I will call on Monday. I will get a hold of him, or bombard their office with my phone calls. I will call his primary care doctor too. I will get some answers on what to say and what to do with Dad.

What are we supposed to do? Ignore what he says and chalk it up to Alzheimer's? We can't keep moving him every time he doesn't like where he is... Because he will NEVER like where he is. Even if we do tell him he has Alzheimer's...he will most likely deny it, as he has so many times in the past.

Do I drive back to California and try to take Dad out on a pass? To see if taking him out for a couple hours would appease him? What if he refused to go back to the facility? What if he breaks down and cries like he did when he pleaded with my poor sister today? He just seems to be getting so much weaker and more obsessed with going home.

Are we to ignore his pleadings to go home? To have Dad go nuts and have to be sedated? Sent back to the psych ward? Be over medicated? To wait for Dad to become a zombie, sitting in a wheel chair, staring off into space, mumbling and drooling?

I need to find out if the medication is helping him or prolonging the inevitable. If that is the case, then I say, take him off all medication and allow him to go naturally. Just call Hospice. Course, he will be a crazy man if he is not on his medication. Lost in delusions and hallucinations. His heart rate and blood pressure will go through the roof with his paranoia...

What the hell are we supposed to do??