I feel weird coming to Mystical Journeys and not writing about Dad…maybe I'm trying to move on too quickly…
I kept all the Alzheimer's references, just moved them to the bottom of the blog…not ready to let that go in case it can be a help to someone…
Re-designed the blog…feels very strange…not sure if it feels right….
I miss my Dad. This will be the first year we won't be visiting him at the nursing home. We will visit him at the cemetery. Will take him a Poinsettia…
I have no business being up this late…need to get to bed.
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Venturing into the Unknown…Facing My Fears...
I am still contemplating what I should do with my blog…
The title of my blog, Mystical Journeys, was a name I conjured up long before my blog came into fruition. I always wanted to have a blog, to explore my creativity and post my work….When I finally figured out how to create one, of course Mystical Journeys had to be the title….
As fate would have it, the day after creating my blog, I awoke early in the morning and found my Dad curled up in a fetal position on his living room floor by the front door. I didn't know if he fell or was ill because he really could not communicate…he was ice cold, gray in color and mumbling about "the enemy striking at dawn"…
I called 411 and then called my brother to follow us to the ER and the rest is history…Dad never returned home. We learned he could not be left alone, which is what our Mother had been telling us for some time…
I think I want to go back to my original dream for this blog…
And it comes at a serendipitous opportunity….I was talking with a childhood girlfriend last week…(we have known one another since the age of 10) and she shared a link of a mutual girlfriend from High School. She and I were in Art classes together. The link was a website where she displays/sells her art.
I checked out the link and then wrote my artist girlfriend telling her how much I enjoyed her work. She wrote back and encouraged me to join…
One of my life long, creative, dreams has been to have a one woman show of my paintings and to write and sell a book. Unfortunately, I allowed my negative voices/ self defeating demons to sabotage much of my progress. My starting and stopping were the most consistent efforts toward my painting. I did take a couple years of lessons after we moved here…but again, I allowed my self criticism to stop me from pursuing my dreams…
One thing I have learned in my life, and often preach to others; is the fact we are so much stronger than we think we are. We also are so much more capable than we think we are. I learned this when I was a single Mom raising my two daughters…
I suppose I challenged and pushed myself more back then because I was alone and totally responsible for the welfare of my children and myself, so I HAD to go beyond my comfort zone. Many a night I sat wrapped in the safety of my thick, cozy "security" blanket, huddled over a hot cup of tea….my "cure all" for almost everything scary.
I even had a few panic attacks…but I forged ahead and did what I had to do…often "faking it until I made it".
Now, I am retired and married. I think it is safe to say I am in a comfortable rut. I certainly have TONS of time on my hands…(with the exception of it being the Christmas holiday season…)
I really want to explore this opportunity... It is a daily painting website, although you don't have to paint every single day….but each submitted/uploaded painting is displayed on the home page so there would be much more exposure than posting my work on a blog….Although several of the artists also have a blog to show their process, explain techniques, give background or whatever….so I was thinking I could use Mystical Journeys for that purpose…
First, I must open a Pay Pal Account. Never did that before, but it doesn't sound too difficult. Then if I want my blog included, I must include it when I register to join the website.
I have always painted large paintings….but in doing larger paintings it is much more of an investment of time and money... and loss, if the paintings do not sell. Most of the paintings done on the website are smaller, like 4x6, 5x7, 8x10, 6x6, 8x8, 12x12 etc….some larger ones 9x12….but it made me see a possibility of hope where I could accomplish the daily painting challenge by spending less time painting smaller art work.
But….could I take my undisciplined self and become disciplined? I used to post to my blog every day…so it is possible…but that was four years ago…
Can you hear the excuses with all the buts????
It sure sounds like I am spending more time than I should convincing myself…What I should do is stop using the "should's" and do like Nike says to do…and JUST DO IT!
I announced on my other blog I was going to lose 20 pounds by the age of 65…and here I am 66 and still packing those 20 pounds….
I think this is exactly why I have not been posting much on either of my blogs. I have to be honest when I post. I can't kid myself. I can't insult those who read my blog. I have to speak from the heart. I have to be vulnerable and speak my truth. I have to be real.
The reason is -- I am disappointed in myself. For the past four years I was my Father's Advocate and chronicled his Alzheimer's on my blog. I had a purpose… Since my Dad's passing, I no longer feel I have an important purpose. I am living 250 miles from my family, locked in a reverse mortgage, an uncooperative housing market, a challenging economy….with the added obstacle of my husband not wanting to move back to California….
When I was single, I had to depend on myself. I had to work and the buck stopped upon arrival with me. Ironically, I felt stronger. I got up early, got the girls to school, worked all day, grocery shopped at night, ran errands on the weekends or my lunch hour; cleaned and kept my house clean, cooked, and even did my own yard work. I was so disciplined and organized. I had to…I had no choice.
That is one downside to retirement…if you don't keep a schedule…you turn into Scarlet O'Hara and "think about it tomorrow" and then tomorrow, keeps turning into tomorrow. I NEED SOME DISCIPLINE desperately!
Who knows….if I challenged myself….did the work….immersed myself in creativity….became productive…kept at it….made up my mind, giving up, was not an option….and stayed at it, learning, improving, growing, until I made some comfortable money... Maybe enough money to help with the trips to California….and who knows….wouldn't it be great if I could make enough to get a little place in CA so I could have the option to stay longer….and still have our home in Nevada…Oh that sounds so gooooooood…..
I have a huge collection of ideas and art tutorials on my Pinterest boards…so some where in the back of my subconscious, I have been preparing myself for this…
I have an art box where I store ideas or pictures which inspire me and I have written notes on those pictures with ideas….
The only way out of unhappiness or stagnancy is the inertia of ACTION. I have to push away from my fears, tell my negative voices to SHUT THE HELL UP, and tell myself I CAN DO THIS. Then, after I achieve my goal… I get to be proud of myself and reap the rewards of my efforts!
Nothing ventured….nothing gained….
The title of my blog, Mystical Journeys, was a name I conjured up long before my blog came into fruition. I always wanted to have a blog, to explore my creativity and post my work….When I finally figured out how to create one, of course Mystical Journeys had to be the title….
As fate would have it, the day after creating my blog, I awoke early in the morning and found my Dad curled up in a fetal position on his living room floor by the front door. I didn't know if he fell or was ill because he really could not communicate…he was ice cold, gray in color and mumbling about "the enemy striking at dawn"…
I called 411 and then called my brother to follow us to the ER and the rest is history…Dad never returned home. We learned he could not be left alone, which is what our Mother had been telling us for some time…
I think I want to go back to my original dream for this blog…
And it comes at a serendipitous opportunity….I was talking with a childhood girlfriend last week…(we have known one another since the age of 10) and she shared a link of a mutual girlfriend from High School. She and I were in Art classes together. The link was a website where she displays/sells her art.
I checked out the link and then wrote my artist girlfriend telling her how much I enjoyed her work. She wrote back and encouraged me to join…
One of my life long, creative, dreams has been to have a one woman show of my paintings and to write and sell a book. Unfortunately, I allowed my negative voices/ self defeating demons to sabotage much of my progress. My starting and stopping were the most consistent efforts toward my painting. I did take a couple years of lessons after we moved here…but again, I allowed my self criticism to stop me from pursuing my dreams…
One thing I have learned in my life, and often preach to others; is the fact we are so much stronger than we think we are. We also are so much more capable than we think we are. I learned this when I was a single Mom raising my two daughters…
I suppose I challenged and pushed myself more back then because I was alone and totally responsible for the welfare of my children and myself, so I HAD to go beyond my comfort zone. Many a night I sat wrapped in the safety of my thick, cozy "security" blanket, huddled over a hot cup of tea….my "cure all" for almost everything scary.
I even had a few panic attacks…but I forged ahead and did what I had to do…often "faking it until I made it".
Now, I am retired and married. I think it is safe to say I am in a comfortable rut. I certainly have TONS of time on my hands…(with the exception of it being the Christmas holiday season…)
I really want to explore this opportunity... It is a daily painting website, although you don't have to paint every single day….but each submitted/uploaded painting is displayed on the home page so there would be much more exposure than posting my work on a blog….Although several of the artists also have a blog to show their process, explain techniques, give background or whatever….so I was thinking I could use Mystical Journeys for that purpose…
First, I must open a Pay Pal Account. Never did that before, but it doesn't sound too difficult. Then if I want my blog included, I must include it when I register to join the website.
I have always painted large paintings….but in doing larger paintings it is much more of an investment of time and money... and loss, if the paintings do not sell. Most of the paintings done on the website are smaller, like 4x6, 5x7, 8x10, 6x6, 8x8, 12x12 etc….some larger ones 9x12….but it made me see a possibility of hope where I could accomplish the daily painting challenge by spending less time painting smaller art work.
But….could I take my undisciplined self and become disciplined? I used to post to my blog every day…so it is possible…but that was four years ago…
Can you hear the excuses with all the buts????
It sure sounds like I am spending more time than I should convincing myself…What I should do is stop using the "should's" and do like Nike says to do…and JUST DO IT!
I announced on my other blog I was going to lose 20 pounds by the age of 65…and here I am 66 and still packing those 20 pounds….
I think this is exactly why I have not been posting much on either of my blogs. I have to be honest when I post. I can't kid myself. I can't insult those who read my blog. I have to speak from the heart. I have to be vulnerable and speak my truth. I have to be real.
The reason is -- I am disappointed in myself. For the past four years I was my Father's Advocate and chronicled his Alzheimer's on my blog. I had a purpose… Since my Dad's passing, I no longer feel I have an important purpose. I am living 250 miles from my family, locked in a reverse mortgage, an uncooperative housing market, a challenging economy….with the added obstacle of my husband not wanting to move back to California….
When I was single, I had to depend on myself. I had to work and the buck stopped upon arrival with me. Ironically, I felt stronger. I got up early, got the girls to school, worked all day, grocery shopped at night, ran errands on the weekends or my lunch hour; cleaned and kept my house clean, cooked, and even did my own yard work. I was so disciplined and organized. I had to…I had no choice.
That is one downside to retirement…if you don't keep a schedule…you turn into Scarlet O'Hara and "think about it tomorrow" and then tomorrow, keeps turning into tomorrow. I NEED SOME DISCIPLINE desperately!
Who knows….if I challenged myself….did the work….immersed myself in creativity….became productive…kept at it….made up my mind, giving up, was not an option….and stayed at it, learning, improving, growing, until I made some comfortable money... Maybe enough money to help with the trips to California….and who knows….wouldn't it be great if I could make enough to get a little place in CA so I could have the option to stay longer….and still have our home in Nevada…Oh that sounds so gooooooood…..
I have a huge collection of ideas and art tutorials on my Pinterest boards…so some where in the back of my subconscious, I have been preparing myself for this…
I have an art box where I store ideas or pictures which inspire me and I have written notes on those pictures with ideas….
The only way out of unhappiness or stagnancy is the inertia of ACTION. I have to push away from my fears, tell my negative voices to SHUT THE HELL UP, and tell myself I CAN DO THIS. Then, after I achieve my goal… I get to be proud of myself and reap the rewards of my efforts!
Nothing ventured….nothing gained….
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Dental Hygiene and Dementia...
I read an article yesterday in our daily newspaper, The Las Vegas Review-Journal by Kristen Hallam. In the article, Hallam states British researchers in London have determined poor dental hygiene is being linked to Alzheimer's.
A bacterium called Porphyromonas gingivalis were found in four out of ten samples of brain tissue taken from Alzheimer's patients, while no signs of the disease were found in brains of ten other people of similar age who did not have Alzheimer's; according to their article in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.
The results supported the findings of the the bacteria in the mouth enters the bloodstream through chewing or having a tooth removed and travels to other parts of the body, including the brain. After long periods of time, the build up is believed to contribute to the cause of Alzheimer's, heart disease and some forms of cancer.
The obvious goal is to improve on one's dental hygiene and to prevent the build up of bacteria causing gum disease. Alzheimer's affect the elderly, but some studies show earlier onset of the disease on younger people in their fifties.
"The World Health Organization predicted dementia cases would triple to 115 million in 2050 from 36 million worldwide in 2010."
********
My Dad should have had his teeth cleaned every 3 or 4 months because of the unusually heavy tartar his body produced in his mouth. I too inherited this heavy tartar, but have my teeth cleaned regularly every six months and am phobic about flossing and brushing my teeth with my trusty Phillips sonicare electric toothbrush.
Dad always used a regular toothbrush and Close Up Cinnamon flavored toothpaste. I used to work in a dental office as an assistant and oral health consultant. I urged Dad to floss and bought him floss and discussed the importance of new toothbrushes and electric teeth brushes. Dad always wanted to things "old school" and "natural" so he would occasionally use baking soda and water.
I had read about the dental hygiene factor before and remember thinking of Dad at that particular time....
At this point, it is too late for my Dad...but those of you going through the early signs of dementia with a loved one, may take extra measures to insure their dental hygiene. Personally, I think everyone could benefit from better dental hygiene, but that is just my opinion.
A bacterium called Porphyromonas gingivalis were found in four out of ten samples of brain tissue taken from Alzheimer's patients, while no signs of the disease were found in brains of ten other people of similar age who did not have Alzheimer's; according to their article in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.
The results supported the findings of the the bacteria in the mouth enters the bloodstream through chewing or having a tooth removed and travels to other parts of the body, including the brain. After long periods of time, the build up is believed to contribute to the cause of Alzheimer's, heart disease and some forms of cancer.
The obvious goal is to improve on one's dental hygiene and to prevent the build up of bacteria causing gum disease. Alzheimer's affect the elderly, but some studies show earlier onset of the disease on younger people in their fifties.
"The World Health Organization predicted dementia cases would triple to 115 million in 2050 from 36 million worldwide in 2010."
********
My Dad should have had his teeth cleaned every 3 or 4 months because of the unusually heavy tartar his body produced in his mouth. I too inherited this heavy tartar, but have my teeth cleaned regularly every six months and am phobic about flossing and brushing my teeth with my trusty Phillips sonicare electric toothbrush.
Dad always used a regular toothbrush and Close Up Cinnamon flavored toothpaste. I used to work in a dental office as an assistant and oral health consultant. I urged Dad to floss and bought him floss and discussed the importance of new toothbrushes and electric teeth brushes. Dad always wanted to things "old school" and "natural" so he would occasionally use baking soda and water.
I had read about the dental hygiene factor before and remember thinking of Dad at that particular time....
At this point, it is too late for my Dad...but those of you going through the early signs of dementia with a loved one, may take extra measures to insure their dental hygiene. Personally, I think everyone could benefit from better dental hygiene, but that is just my opinion.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Woeful Weariness...
My brother B____ from Ohio arrived in Ontario this past Monday. He was praying Dad would recognize him and realize he had come to see Dad... He has been at Dad's bedside every day reading the Bible to Dad.
Mom has been going with my brother as she would not want him to go alone because it is flat out too emotionally difficult for most of us to go alone.
His first time seeing Dad my brother asked if he knew who he was because when Dad looked at him, Dad didn't respond. All of us have always looked forward and enjoyed Dad's exuberant welcoming. His face lights up and he rushes to greet us with big bear hugs and smiles. Dad looked at my brother and responded, "Yes, you are my son." No emotion. I think Dad is just too tired to muster up any excitement.
I experienced the same thing the last time I visited Dad with Mom....Dad kept his hands clasped in his lap and did not respond happily to my calling him my pet name, "Papa Doots". He usually ignites into joyful happiness, calls out my name and reaches to pull me in for a hug and kiss. He did none of that and it made me cry.
I think he is "on his last road" toward the Lord...
It seems everything is an effort....even eating.
We've discussed the possibility of suggesting a soft food diet, but have concerns it might hasten a disinterest in eating...knowing, eventually, he will stop eating...
I was suppose to leave Tuesday, which I rescheduled to Wednesday...and now it will be tomorrow, Thursday, before I leave to drive to California...
I am all packed, but I am emotionally exhausted.
It takes so much intestinal fortitude to prepare myself for the 250 mile drive to Mom's house knowing what we all face when I get there; plus the emotional preparation I need to psyche myself up to go see Dad...I feel wiped out before I even leave.
I feel Dad slipping away, knowing soon he will be out of our sight and will live in our hearts and memories...
Despite preparing one's self for a parent's death, when it gets close, and I am certain when it comes, the flood gates will open and many tears of sadness and frustration will cover our lives for months and possibly years to come...
Yet, at the same time, intertwined with our grief will be relief. Dad is not really aware of all his physical and medical issues...he lives in the demented bubble, where he may be aware for a nano second, only to have the thought dissolve as he diverts to the face of a pretty nurse. If he were conscious and aware, he would abruptly have a heart attack.
Dad lived haunted by unmet expectations demanded by his Father. Consequently, it crippled him from making important or quick decisions. He was a serial procrastinator with anything urgent. He lived in denial from the ability to not see how it affected those around him. He over analyzed to the point of exhaustion. He made a career out of going in circles. His one and only focus was his family. He loved all of us without question, we could all feel it...but we knew he was not reliable except for limited conversations.
Mom ALWAYS filled in the gaps Dad left. Much of the time, we resented her for it...Now we look back in awe at what she did daily without acknowledgment. She was the-go-to-person we all went to when there was a problem. Dad would listen and give advice, but he could not follow up or be responsible for helping, except for physical labor. We collectively felt and accepted his weaknesses. We never confronted him on it, we just lived with it. Dad was intelligent, strong as an ox, spiritual, gentle, kind, imaginative, inventive, a nature lover, farmer, spoke to and understood both plants and animals almost better than he could relate to humans; he was introspective, eccentric, quirky and quiet and we loved him for who he was.
I speak of Dad in the past tense because he is. The Dad we see today is no where close to the Dad we knew and lived with all our lives. Dad was always puttering. I can think of three times when I saw Dad lying down during the day; when he had mumps, when his appendix burst and with blood poisoning from a redwood splinter... We see what we want to see now because we cannot bare to see the shell of a man left behind from the insidious plague called Alzheimer's . The disease is an invisible thief, sneaking into one's life stealing slowly and indiscriminately until everything is gone and one is left with nothing but loss and death.
It makes my soul ache to see Dad the way he is. I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy...
When I see Dad I have this soft ball sized lump lodged in my throat, my eyes constantly water and I feel like I am visiting some one else's Father not knowing what to say...
All the history we shared throughout our lives are now intermittent. Some times he seems to relate, but most of the time, he doesn't. I am relieved he closes his eyes most of the time, because the blank stare when he looks at me is so much worse.
I find the only way I can motivate myself to go see him is the faith we share, the memories we savor and the knowledge we must gather around him while we all wait for the glorious chariot from the sky to come and carry our Father home...
Mom has been going with my brother as she would not want him to go alone because it is flat out too emotionally difficult for most of us to go alone.
His first time seeing Dad my brother asked if he knew who he was because when Dad looked at him, Dad didn't respond. All of us have always looked forward and enjoyed Dad's exuberant welcoming. His face lights up and he rushes to greet us with big bear hugs and smiles. Dad looked at my brother and responded, "Yes, you are my son." No emotion. I think Dad is just too tired to muster up any excitement.
I experienced the same thing the last time I visited Dad with Mom....Dad kept his hands clasped in his lap and did not respond happily to my calling him my pet name, "Papa Doots". He usually ignites into joyful happiness, calls out my name and reaches to pull me in for a hug and kiss. He did none of that and it made me cry.
I think he is "on his last road" toward the Lord...
It seems everything is an effort....even eating.
We've discussed the possibility of suggesting a soft food diet, but have concerns it might hasten a disinterest in eating...knowing, eventually, he will stop eating...
I was suppose to leave Tuesday, which I rescheduled to Wednesday...and now it will be tomorrow, Thursday, before I leave to drive to California...
I am all packed, but I am emotionally exhausted.
It takes so much intestinal fortitude to prepare myself for the 250 mile drive to Mom's house knowing what we all face when I get there; plus the emotional preparation I need to psyche myself up to go see Dad...I feel wiped out before I even leave.
I feel Dad slipping away, knowing soon he will be out of our sight and will live in our hearts and memories...
Despite preparing one's self for a parent's death, when it gets close, and I am certain when it comes, the flood gates will open and many tears of sadness and frustration will cover our lives for months and possibly years to come...
Yet, at the same time, intertwined with our grief will be relief. Dad is not really aware of all his physical and medical issues...he lives in the demented bubble, where he may be aware for a nano second, only to have the thought dissolve as he diverts to the face of a pretty nurse. If he were conscious and aware, he would abruptly have a heart attack.
Dad lived haunted by unmet expectations demanded by his Father. Consequently, it crippled him from making important or quick decisions. He was a serial procrastinator with anything urgent. He lived in denial from the ability to not see how it affected those around him. He over analyzed to the point of exhaustion. He made a career out of going in circles. His one and only focus was his family. He loved all of us without question, we could all feel it...but we knew he was not reliable except for limited conversations.
Mom ALWAYS filled in the gaps Dad left. Much of the time, we resented her for it...Now we look back in awe at what she did daily without acknowledgment. She was the-go-to-person we all went to when there was a problem. Dad would listen and give advice, but he could not follow up or be responsible for helping, except for physical labor. We collectively felt and accepted his weaknesses. We never confronted him on it, we just lived with it. Dad was intelligent, strong as an ox, spiritual, gentle, kind, imaginative, inventive, a nature lover, farmer, spoke to and understood both plants and animals almost better than he could relate to humans; he was introspective, eccentric, quirky and quiet and we loved him for who he was.
I speak of Dad in the past tense because he is. The Dad we see today is no where close to the Dad we knew and lived with all our lives. Dad was always puttering. I can think of three times when I saw Dad lying down during the day; when he had mumps, when his appendix burst and with blood poisoning from a redwood splinter... We see what we want to see now because we cannot bare to see the shell of a man left behind from the insidious plague called Alzheimer's . The disease is an invisible thief, sneaking into one's life stealing slowly and indiscriminately until everything is gone and one is left with nothing but loss and death.
It makes my soul ache to see Dad the way he is. I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy...
When I see Dad I have this soft ball sized lump lodged in my throat, my eyes constantly water and I feel like I am visiting some one else's Father not knowing what to say...
All the history we shared throughout our lives are now intermittent. Some times he seems to relate, but most of the time, he doesn't. I am relieved he closes his eyes most of the time, because the blank stare when he looks at me is so much worse.
I find the only way I can motivate myself to go see him is the faith we share, the memories we savor and the knowledge we must gather around him while we all wait for the glorious chariot from the sky to come and carry our Father home...
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Warming Up For California...
The weather is beginning to warm up finally...or at least, giving us a break from the cold spell we had this past week. It was in the low 20's here. Colder than it has been in five years. California even had some snow...
I've been calling the nursing home and the hospice nurse checked in with me this week. Dad is doing much better. Since changing his diet to regular instead of that phantom diabetic diet, Dad's appetite has perked up and he is eating much better. He also has re-joined the activities.
I spoke with Dad's male caregiver and he told me he has been sitting with Dad, helping him eat while visiting with Dad. He thinks Dad was lonesome and needed some company. I agreed and told him Dad prefers to have someone feed him because of his crippled hands from his Rheumatoid Arthritis.
This week and into next is suppose to be warmer weather, so I will take a few days and go stay with Mom and visit Dad. I want to find out how Dad was put on the diabetic diet and generally observe Dad so I can see if he is beginning to slow down or if it was the change in his diet...
Its odd...as much as I want to see Dad...I also resist. I have to psych myself up for a visit with Dad. I must prepare myself for whatever I might see or hear him say.... I must accept the Dad I want to remember is so very different from the man I visit in the nursing home...
I'm relieved Dad has been doing better because I always listen to my instincts before I decide to get in my car and travel to California... my gut feeling has to signal me...telling me it is time to go...
I've been calling the nursing home and the hospice nurse checked in with me this week. Dad is doing much better. Since changing his diet to regular instead of that phantom diabetic diet, Dad's appetite has perked up and he is eating much better. He also has re-joined the activities.
I spoke with Dad's male caregiver and he told me he has been sitting with Dad, helping him eat while visiting with Dad. He thinks Dad was lonesome and needed some company. I agreed and told him Dad prefers to have someone feed him because of his crippled hands from his Rheumatoid Arthritis.
This week and into next is suppose to be warmer weather, so I will take a few days and go stay with Mom and visit Dad. I want to find out how Dad was put on the diabetic diet and generally observe Dad so I can see if he is beginning to slow down or if it was the change in his diet...
Its odd...as much as I want to see Dad...I also resist. I have to psych myself up for a visit with Dad. I must prepare myself for whatever I might see or hear him say.... I must accept the Dad I want to remember is so very different from the man I visit in the nursing home...
I'm relieved Dad has been doing better because I always listen to my instincts before I decide to get in my car and travel to California... my gut feeling has to signal me...telling me it is time to go...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Dad's Desk...
Mom asked me if I would clean out Dad's desk and his stuff in the office of their home. I will be making another trip to California mid September for the birth of my third grand son. I can probably spend a few days helping Mom.
Dad's desk is a cornucopia of pretty much anything you can imagine. Paperwork, tools, various nuts, bolts, screws, Sudoku puzzles, mathematical equations, pamphlets on various plants, assorted garden seeds, empty prescription bottles, balls of tin foil, rubber bands, chunks of metal, manuals to tools, and just about anything you would not expect to find in a desk.
I have already taken all his diaries home. I have been reading through them and making notes for the book I hope to write about Dad.
I still feel very strange when I am sorting and packing up his things, when he is still with us. You would think after a year, I would be used to him not living in their home, but I still expect him to come in from the back yard in his overalls. I realize he has no use for most of his stuff, yet, I remember how important it was to him when he was home...
Dad's desk is a cornucopia of pretty much anything you can imagine. Paperwork, tools, various nuts, bolts, screws, Sudoku puzzles, mathematical equations, pamphlets on various plants, assorted garden seeds, empty prescription bottles, balls of tin foil, rubber bands, chunks of metal, manuals to tools, and just about anything you would not expect to find in a desk.
I have already taken all his diaries home. I have been reading through them and making notes for the book I hope to write about Dad.
I still feel very strange when I am sorting and packing up his things, when he is still with us. You would think after a year, I would be used to him not living in their home, but I still expect him to come in from the back yard in his overalls. I realize he has no use for most of his stuff, yet, I remember how important it was to him when he was home...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"For Fast-Acting Relief, Try Slowing Down"...
This quote was by Lily Tomlin. Wise advice and it is exactly what we did this weekend...Saturday we lazed around, puttering, chatting, I made a roast in the crock pot, and we just did what we felt like doing.
Today was more of the same, only while Izzy and my husband napped and watched TV, I went thrift store hopping with my neighbor. We had took our time, browsed and hunted for bargains, and then enjoyed a nice lunch at In and Out. Got home and hubby barbecued, while I made corn on the cob and a fresh salad.
What a great weekend...
Today was more of the same, only while Izzy and my husband napped and watched TV, I went thrift store hopping with my neighbor. We had took our time, browsed and hunted for bargains, and then enjoyed a nice lunch at In and Out. Got home and hubby barbecued, while I made corn on the cob and a fresh salad.
What a great weekend...
I found this picture of a backyard.
I can really see myself sitting in one of those chairs,
enjoying a nice refreshing drink,
munching on some grapes and cucumbers,
and reading a book...
Doesn't it look inviting?
I sure wish I had a million dollars..
.I'd have my Architect
build me a house around
this peaceful place....
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Do You Ever Feel Like The World Has Come To Your Front Yard?
The expression, "It's A Small World", has really been personified lately...I recently filed for early Social Security, and the newspapers are filled with articles of all the Baby Boomers are filing early for their Social Security, putting a huge strain on the system...
So many of our neighbors have taken on relatives living with them, due to the relatives losing jobs or their homes, or both... Several of those neighbors are caring for elderly parents, either in their homes or advocating, as I am.
Today while walking my dog, I saw one of my neighbors sitting on a wall, two streets over from where she lives with her husband and her Mother. Her husband is diabetic and has very low blood pressure. The other day he fell and only by accident did she come home early and found him, calling 911. The doctor told her if she had arrived a half hour later, he would not have made it.
They are wonderful neighbors. We always share gardening and planting ideas and they always welcome my dog and I to stop and visit.
I asked her if she was OK, and she looked up and made eye contact. I knew immediately she was not. She answered, "No". I asked if it was her husband again, and she told me it was not him. It was her Mother who has anal cancer. She told me she needed to get away and have time to herself. I could totally understood and left, giving her privacy.
Tonight I received an email from Mom. Her dear friends from church had their niece and her husband murdered in their beds in Rosemead this past Monday. No killer has been found, but their fourteen year old grand daughter is missing and so is their car...
Some other church friends were killed in a bus accident.
Years ago, I would hear of people I did not know or had any connection to, meeting a gruesome fate or becoming ill. Now, it seems the connections are so much closer to home...
I spoke with my best friend in California and we were both commenting on how difficult things are for so many people.
Everything seems more serious, cautious and uncertain. Today, I am really feeling the impact of it all. I feel like so many of us are all in the same boat. The world has become so much smaller...
How about you? Do you ever feel like the world has come to your front yard?
So many of our neighbors have taken on relatives living with them, due to the relatives losing jobs or their homes, or both... Several of those neighbors are caring for elderly parents, either in their homes or advocating, as I am.
Today while walking my dog, I saw one of my neighbors sitting on a wall, two streets over from where she lives with her husband and her Mother. Her husband is diabetic and has very low blood pressure. The other day he fell and only by accident did she come home early and found him, calling 911. The doctor told her if she had arrived a half hour later, he would not have made it.
They are wonderful neighbors. We always share gardening and planting ideas and they always welcome my dog and I to stop and visit.
I asked her if she was OK, and she looked up and made eye contact. I knew immediately she was not. She answered, "No". I asked if it was her husband again, and she told me it was not him. It was her Mother who has anal cancer. She told me she needed to get away and have time to herself. I could totally understood and left, giving her privacy.
Tonight I received an email from Mom. Her dear friends from church had their niece and her husband murdered in their beds in Rosemead this past Monday. No killer has been found, but their fourteen year old grand daughter is missing and so is their car...
Some other church friends were killed in a bus accident.
Years ago, I would hear of people I did not know or had any connection to, meeting a gruesome fate or becoming ill. Now, it seems the connections are so much closer to home...
I spoke with my best friend in California and we were both commenting on how difficult things are for so many people.
Everything seems more serious, cautious and uncertain. Today, I am really feeling the impact of it all. I feel like so many of us are all in the same boat. The world has become so much smaller...
How about you? Do you ever feel like the world has come to your front yard?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Snake Bite...
Today
my daughter in law
Becky
introduced me
to a
"Snake Bite".
It
is
Pear Cider
in the
bottom
of
a
glass,
followed by
pouring
Guinness
over a
large spoon
to
float
deliciously
atop
the
Pear Cider.
The Pear Cider
takes
away
the
nip
of the
Guinness.
Me
thinks
I
be
drinkin'
Guinness
tomorrow
too.
~ dkb ~
Friday, June 25, 2010
Recognizing The Shadow In My Darkness...
Today is my grand son's 8th birthday. Yesterday was my oldest daughter's 33rd birthday. They are on vacation this past week, so when I went to California, I was unable to see them and hug them. We have been talking over the phone...as I must do the majority of the time.
Some days, especially after I return from California, I sink into the pits of depression and feel so very isolated and lonely. My husband works like a dog, way too many hours, often leaving him only to want, to become one with our couch.
These past four, almost five years of living here, have forced me to explore my creativity, in search for something to fill the void in missing my loved ones...I ache for one on one human contact.
These past week has been such a time... I feel like I am wading through thick, heavy mud. It is exhausting. Tasks I need to get done keep piling up, and I don't care.
I wrote about how I felt on my other blog last night. One of my blogging friends, commented and could relate to my feelings. Reading her blog, made me recognize the shadow in my darkness. My lonliness and isolation. Learning she has physical challenges now and still ahead made me feel guilty for complaining. Thank you dear friend for pin-pointing the obvious to me.
Some days, especially after I return from California, I sink into the pits of depression and feel so very isolated and lonely. My husband works like a dog, way too many hours, often leaving him only to want, to become one with our couch.
These past four, almost five years of living here, have forced me to explore my creativity, in search for something to fill the void in missing my loved ones...I ache for one on one human contact.
These past week has been such a time... I feel like I am wading through thick, heavy mud. It is exhausting. Tasks I need to get done keep piling up, and I don't care.
I wrote about how I felt on my other blog last night. One of my blogging friends, commented and could relate to my feelings. Reading her blog, made me recognize the shadow in my darkness. My lonliness and isolation. Learning she has physical challenges now and still ahead made me feel guilty for complaining. Thank you dear friend for pin-pointing the obvious to me.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
A grey day...
It's raining today. Not heavy, just a drizzle. Been up since 3:30am. Couldn't sleep. My mouth is still aching and tender from the extraction. I called yesterday, and the nurse told me it was "normal" and to wait a couple of weeks...
My husband is getting dressed for work and I hear Izzy taunting him, trying to get him to play with her...she sounds full of energy and I am lacking in mine...
My husband is getting dressed for work and I hear Izzy taunting him, trying to get him to play with her...she sounds full of energy and I am lacking in mine...
Monday, April 12, 2010
Reverse Mortgages and celebrating "us"...Mom visited Dad...
The best thing about today, is, we felt better than yesterday...and celebrated our first meeting 10 years ago...
We decided to research the facts of a Reverse Mortgage...and found out we could stay in our present home or buy a new one, and not have a house payment...
We picked up Izzy from Boarding, and were so happy to see her little face!
Izzy and I went for a long, long walk and called it a day...
We decided to research the facts of a Reverse Mortgage...and found out we could stay in our present home or buy a new one, and not have a house payment...
We picked up Izzy from Boarding, and were so happy to see her little face!
Izzy and I went for a long, long walk and called it a day...
**************
Mom went to visit Dad today after she got off work. Today was exceptionally windy. The parking lot was full, so Mom had to park in the street and walk a couple blocks. Dad was sitting in his wheel chair, near the nursing station. He grinned widely when he saw Mom coming down the hallway toward him...
They chatted a few minutes, then Mom suggested they go talk in the alcove by the security doors, since it was too windy for the patio.
Mom listened intently as Dad told her how he was working for the Fire Dept and was in charge of training and hiring. He told her all the men have to report to him. Dad was in high spirits and full imagination!
One of the nurses stopped by and gave Mom a hug and flirted with Dad. Dad flirted shameless back with her, apologizing at forgetting her name. He told her he would call her her "Pickles". (Her name is Olivia) Olvia grinned back and gave Dad a hint..."Olives"....Dad looked confused, so Mom helped Dad by telling him, "Olivia" and Dad roared with laughter, thinking that was so clever.
Dad's Angel, Doctor-Doctor, stopped by, again passing out hugs to Mom and joking with Dad about keeping an eye on him. Dad just LOVES it when his Angel tells him that...and it always makes him chuckle with joy.
Dad's legs and feet look really good. They were "normal" looking to me when my husband and I visited. So glad his circulation seems to be better. Guess him staying off his feet and resting more is helping immensely.
The Aide came to take Dad for his shower, so Mom kissed him good bye and went home. She told us how pleasant their visit had been and how relieved she was that Dad was in such a great mood. We are all so pleased with how content he appears to be...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Hold onto your hats....
I HAD to take Izzy for a walk. Due to the winds we have not been out in two days. She has been doing full speed laps in the house and I am afraid she will smack into some furniture and knock herself out! She is absolutely wild! Yesterday, she was so bad, she spent more of the day in her crate for "time out" than she did being loose in the house...
She ate the heel of one of my NEW tennis shoes. I wonder if I could take the mate to the dressy black heels she chewed a couple months ago, and the mate to the heel-less tennis shoe, to start a new fashion statement...
I had been totally preoccupied in our master closet, on the step stool, pulling down items to get rid of.. A moment ago she had been playing with her Kong toy, which now lay beside the step stool... I needed a break anyway, and she sure needed to burn off some energy...
When I walked into the family room, there she lay, with the heel of my tennis shoe hanging from her mouth. The look on her face was total shock She KNEW she was in trouble...so WHY does she still do it??!!!! SHE HAS THIS THING with shoes and paper!!!
I can hear Ceasar Millan asking how often and how long do I walk her...instead, I put her in her crate for a tme out while I calmed myself down...
I wrapped a scarf around my neck,.tightly, (no, not for the reason you think...things aren't THAT bad...) to pull it up to cover my mouth and nose, when we went outside. I put on my vest and hooded jacket. As I opened the door, the wind raced up the walk way to our front door and raced away, sucking the door handle out of my hand and slamming the door shut. Izzy stood there in her red parka, looking up at me, hoping I had not changed my mind...
Opening it again, holding my back to it to get us outside, I struggled getting my house keys out of my pocket, as I was as bundled up like a child sent out to play in the snow. No one in their right mind was out...only us. Normally, I stay out of the wind, due to getting sinus infections from it...but I was desperate and running out of shoes...
As we braved the storm, my thoughts wandered, as they often do on our walks...and I began thinking about a simple life. Not too simple mind you, because I doubt I could survive without my computer...but one where there was less hustle bustle, and less preoccupation wth stuff... I would love to be able to fit into a small home with just some comfortable furniture and a few personal things...
My husband's favorite movie is IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. My favorite part is when Jimmy Stewart is lending money to people who need it., with only their word and a shake of his hand. Boy, those days are sure long gone, aren't they?
My goal is to really scale down our posessions and once we move, I don't want to allow myself to collect and gather, like I have... The simple life is so much better...
My throat is scratchy and raw from coughing all day from being out in the winds. This wind fires up my allergies. I won't be surprised if I lose my voice...I have been looking forward to lunching with one of my friends tomorrow...guess I will take the opportunity to simply be a good listener...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Are these stepping stones offering me a path to the fruition of a dream?
Today is one of those pajama days...no plans, no objective, other than to putter and probe. My husband needs these "lost weekends" to recharge from the stress of his job. He becomes a professional napper. Instead of being productive, getting projects finished, I tend to be absorbed into my creative quests...
After inquiring the other night, at our local favorite place to eat, the manager offered me her card. I had asked if they were under any agreement with the artist whose art adorns their walls...and what type of paintings they prefer. Abstracts, were her answer. She told me to bring in some of my work...
Never mind, I don't have anything big enough, as they want larger pieces. I could go into a creative vacuum and produce what is required... Often, I get such great ideas, at the right time, but then lack the productive fortitude to rise to the occasion. Whether it is procrastination, or the process of being overly critical of my work, it sabotages me.
Often, when our Creative Genius speaks to us with these brilliant messages, we dismiss it or we hesitate. Not realizing those intuitive insights for opportunity, are gifts. If we don't listen, we lose the opportunity and it flows on to someone who jumps on it and rides it to completion...
The other night when my husband and I went to see a one woman show by Linda, from http://vegaslindalou.blogspot.com/, promoting her book, BASTARD HUSBAND, A Love Story. I kept thinking of what she wrote on her January 28, 2010 post, entitled, Holy Crap, I have my own Las Vegas show!.. " Four months ago my book was still sitting in my lap top and now its for sale at my own Las Vegas show. If I can do it, so can you. I'm 52 years old; its never too late."
The other day, while having my eye glasses adjusted, my regular tech, Kenny, told me his 89 year old Mother just had a book published. Two years ago, she wrote it down by hand and Kenny and his wife typed it up. It is entitled, A MOTHER'S STORY and it is about growing up in the Depression. It is not only being sold by Barnes and Noble and Amazon, but some Library in Pennsyvania wants it for it's documentation of history.
I sense these messages are not just happenstance. These are the kind of whispers from my inner guide, prompting me, urging me to pursue my creative instincts. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... Dare I say it out loud? Are these stepping stones offering me a path to the fruition of a dream?
After inquiring the other night, at our local favorite place to eat, the manager offered me her card. I had asked if they were under any agreement with the artist whose art adorns their walls...and what type of paintings they prefer. Abstracts, were her answer. She told me to bring in some of my work...
Never mind, I don't have anything big enough, as they want larger pieces. I could go into a creative vacuum and produce what is required... Often, I get such great ideas, at the right time, but then lack the productive fortitude to rise to the occasion. Whether it is procrastination, or the process of being overly critical of my work, it sabotages me.
Often, when our Creative Genius speaks to us with these brilliant messages, we dismiss it or we hesitate. Not realizing those intuitive insights for opportunity, are gifts. If we don't listen, we lose the opportunity and it flows on to someone who jumps on it and rides it to completion...
The other night when my husband and I went to see a one woman show by Linda, from http://vegaslindalou.blogspot.com/, promoting her book, BASTARD HUSBAND, A Love Story. I kept thinking of what she wrote on her January 28, 2010 post, entitled, Holy Crap, I have my own Las Vegas show!.. " Four months ago my book was still sitting in my lap top and now its for sale at my own Las Vegas show. If I can do it, so can you. I'm 52 years old; its never too late."
The other day, while having my eye glasses adjusted, my regular tech, Kenny, told me his 89 year old Mother just had a book published. Two years ago, she wrote it down by hand and Kenny and his wife typed it up. It is entitled, A MOTHER'S STORY and it is about growing up in the Depression. It is not only being sold by Barnes and Noble and Amazon, but some Library in Pennsyvania wants it for it's documentation of history.
I sense these messages are not just happenstance. These are the kind of whispers from my inner guide, prompting me, urging me to pursue my creative instincts. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... Dare I say it out loud? Are these stepping stones offering me a path to the fruition of a dream?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Not a day for breathtaking vistas...
I put her in her crate a little before 11AM and went off to my Art Class. Just after our instructor arrived, after helping her carry in all her supplies, the sky opened up and we watched a monsoon of a rain cascade from the heavens. Everyone stood admiring the rain. This month alone, we have surpassed the entire twelve months of last year in rainfall. I am so anxious to see the mountains...
Tonight, Izzy and I dine alone as my hubby has a big meeting at the Ritz Carlton in Lake Las Vegas. I am busy with my decluttering and simplifying. Less is more. I have such a strong force within me to lighten our load. It is one of my most favorite pastimes, on rainy days, to putter in the house and get things accomplished...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Early morning splendor...
I can't wait to see what they look like tomorrow after all the pouring rain today...and still, the biggest storm is yet to come...
Izzy and I met an Italian lady and her little Yorkie named Bocce (Botch-ee) like the Italian bowling game. Izzy was IN LOVE! Such a cute little guy...
It almost reminded me of the Alps the way the mountains towered above the valley below our neighborhood glistening in the rising morning sun.
Other early walkers and gawkers were out admiring the majestic beauty of the snow laden mountains. One man asked if I noticed the fog that had rolled in covering the Las Vegas valley. We NEVER get fog!
This shot is a bit blurry, I probably zoomed in too much... but I wanted to capture the fog below the mountains.
The news channels were promoting great skiing up on Mt. Charleston. Piles and piles of snow!
By the time we were back home having breakfast, the wind was kicking up and it became over cast....shortly thereafter, it was pouring rain and did so the rest of the day.
Can't wait to see what splendor Mother Nature and El Nino will bring us tomorrow...
Monday, January 18, 2010
Dad had another fall...
I got a phone call from the nursing home telling me Dad fell again. Apparently he was in physical therapy this morning, and gets very antagonistic when the therapist assist Dad in standing up. He yelled at the therapist and in doing so, lost his balance and started to fall. He caught himself on his wheelchair, on his way down, (luckily, the wheels were locked) and ended up sitting beside it on the floor. He was laughing when they rushed to him to see if he was OK.
The nurse told me Dad did not even have any scrapes or bruises, but the doctor had been called any way. She wanted to assure me he was fine. We discussed his poor circulation and the blister on his left foot, and possibly that contributing to him being off balance. I asked if they were giving him regular time to keep his feet elevated. She agreed, and said Dad was now sleeping with his feet elevated. She told me she had just finished talking to my Mom.
I called Mom to compare notes, asking if she knew if Dad's Angel Aide was working today. Mom did not know, and I did not call. I had limited time with the boys and wanted to continue to soak them in as much as possible. Later, when I am home, and miss them, these precious moments are what console me.
I can call tomorrow when I am driving home. I can talk with Dad and see if he remembers it.
I took a four hour nap today after the boys left to attend a birthday party. I needed it. These two little boys have more energy and quicksilver, nano second diversity in how they direct that energy, and it totally wears me out! I laugh until my face hurts. They both have a wonderful sense of humor. They memorize songs and put on shows for me, mimicking voices like little parrots.
I really have noticed these past two trips to California how exhausting it has become... It may be a combination of the anticipation of visiting with Dad, not knowing how I will find him. And, no doubt, it is the constant on the go, visiting everyone. I get very little sleep from staying up late and getting up early trying to squeeze all the time I can with each person.
I better get to sleep. It is almost 1AM, and I must be up early to make french toast for my grandsons, one more time, before I leave...
The nurse told me Dad did not even have any scrapes or bruises, but the doctor had been called any way. She wanted to assure me he was fine. We discussed his poor circulation and the blister on his left foot, and possibly that contributing to him being off balance. I asked if they were giving him regular time to keep his feet elevated. She agreed, and said Dad was now sleeping with his feet elevated. She told me she had just finished talking to my Mom.
I called Mom to compare notes, asking if she knew if Dad's Angel Aide was working today. Mom did not know, and I did not call. I had limited time with the boys and wanted to continue to soak them in as much as possible. Later, when I am home, and miss them, these precious moments are what console me.
I can call tomorrow when I am driving home. I can talk with Dad and see if he remembers it.
I took a four hour nap today after the boys left to attend a birthday party. I needed it. These two little boys have more energy and quicksilver, nano second diversity in how they direct that energy, and it totally wears me out! I laugh until my face hurts. They both have a wonderful sense of humor. They memorize songs and put on shows for me, mimicking voices like little parrots.
I really have noticed these past two trips to California how exhausting it has become... It may be a combination of the anticipation of visiting with Dad, not knowing how I will find him. And, no doubt, it is the constant on the go, visiting everyone. I get very little sleep from staying up late and getting up early trying to squeeze all the time I can with each person.
I better get to sleep. It is almost 1AM, and I must be up early to make french toast for my grandsons, one more time, before I leave...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
In the company of little boys...
I am watching my two grandsons, (ages 7 and 5) while my eldest daughter and her husband went out for dinner. We are engrossed in an Lego Indiana Jones Adventure Follows II game on their Wii. They are on part 2, but the younger one keeps pouncing back and forth between the game and playing Tic Tac Toe on my iTouch.
This is pretty exciting stuff, but when we conquer and win enough "studs" (money) then we have plans on watching Aliens in the Attic. My eldest grandson keeps telling me how funny it is. He assured me it won't scare me...
My daughter just called. She is bringing us home Panda Express. The boys are excited... the younger one was eating some of his french fries from his Burger King lunch with his Dad... They LOVE Dad to babysit because they get "junk food".
I am totally amazed at how efficient both of them are on computers, video games, and basically, any tech type toy... Their Dad teaches them all this stuff so they can all enjoy it together. I tried it, but quickly was "fired" for messing up so much.
Earlier today, my two daughters and I were out for the day while her husband watched the boys. We all had a great day...
Opps...the youngest one just asked with a "pretty please" if I would play Pictureka... I can't refuse that sweet face....
This is pretty exciting stuff, but when we conquer and win enough "studs" (money) then we have plans on watching Aliens in the Attic. My eldest grandson keeps telling me how funny it is. He assured me it won't scare me...
My daughter just called. She is bringing us home Panda Express. The boys are excited... the younger one was eating some of his french fries from his Burger King lunch with his Dad... They LOVE Dad to babysit because they get "junk food".
I am totally amazed at how efficient both of them are on computers, video games, and basically, any tech type toy... Their Dad teaches them all this stuff so they can all enjoy it together. I tried it, but quickly was "fired" for messing up so much.
Earlier today, my two daughters and I were out for the day while her husband watched the boys. We all had a great day...
Opps...the youngest one just asked with a "pretty please" if I would play Pictureka... I can't refuse that sweet face....
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Arrived to California safe and sound...
It was a hectic morning, finishing up all the loose ends, loading up the car, and waiting at the Vets to drop off Izzy. We had to wait over an hour, but Izzy was very friendly with the dogs in the waiting room, which was a pleasant surprise. Finally got out of there by 11:30 am.
I turned on my new Susan Boyle CD and 3.5 hours just flew by. I think that is a new record for me. I was totally lost in thought, and I caught myself doing over 80 mph a few times. Gotta watch that...
Got to Mom's house and had some time to visit before she went off to have her hair done. I unloaded and relaxed a bit. When she was finished we were off to Chiles for the the 2 for $20 dinner. We had a good visit and then went to see LEAP YEAR. What an adorable movie!!! We both gave it a thumbs up. Gorgeous scenery of Ireland...
Mom is watching Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, while I am on my lap top. My eye lids are heavy, but I have a topic for my other blog and want to get it down while I have it in my mind....
Tomorrow I go visit Dad...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Another trip to Ca on the road to love...
My plan is to spend two days with Mom and visit Dad, a day with my sister, and two days with my daughters and grandsons. My husband is having two of his buddies over while I am gone.
Right now I am so tired the thought of a four hour car drive across the desert is the last thing I feel like doing...but give me a good night's sleep and I will be ready for another trip to California, on the road to love...
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