This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hunting for Critters...


Jacob was 16 months on the 20th.  Here he is, stylishly dressed to go hunt for critters on a "nature walk" with Dad and Mom...  They caught and released a salamander, saw about 100 frogs, including a tree frog....perfect day for a little boy.

Salamander

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dad is so wealthy, he owns Chicago...

Mom went to visit Dad today...the parking lot was jam packed with no available parking, but the front of the nursing home was wide open.  Suspicious, Mom checked for signs and painted curbs...  She checked with the receptionist to make sure it was OK to park in front and was told the street sweeper had cleaned the streets earlier in the morning so maybe that was why there was parking right in front, curbside...

When Mom found Dad waiting for lunch she told him she was worried about getting a ticket...

"Don't worry, I am very wealthy.  I will take care of it so no problem..."


Mom thanked him and smiled...

"I own Chicago you know..."

"Wow!" Mom did her best to sound impressed...

(Dad must have thought she said something else because he got angry...)

"Yes I do!  I own Chicago...it is my town!" (Dad was born there).

Mom told him she knew and told him how impressed she was...

After her louder explanation, Dad roared with laughter.

Mom told him how spiffy he looked with his new hair cut...

"Thank you, I look forward to seeing your smiling face."

She told him she was happy to see him so happy...  and Dad laughed joyfully in return.

"I want to buy a little Fiat like M_____ (my brother in law) for running around town..."

Mom smiled broadly and nodded her head in agreement...

His delicious Italian lunch was served by Dad's male CNA; lasagna, garlic toast, fresh veggies, green salad, strawberry ice cream and a piece of lemon cake, milk and coffee.   Mom said it looked and smelled very yummy.  


Dad inhaled his lunch, not only because he has a great appetite, but he LOVES Italian food.  


Dad announced to Mom, "I don't really like cake very much..." 

But Dad ate most of it, leaving just a few bites...normally there is not too much Dad does not like...and sweets are one of them! Mom told Dad she would give his compliments to the chef on her way out...

Mom said Dad began chatting about all the hot women and how much he loves being around them...kind of going off on a tangent... so Mom changed the subject, asking him if he had seen the football game over the weekend...

Dad was yawning and looking tired, so she called the CNA to tuck Dad in bed for his nap and she complimented the chef and checked with the nurses making sure they are monitoring Dad from being taken off his Lexipro... The charge nurse said there was nothing indicating any problems in Dad's chart, but she would check with the CNAs.

My brother E_____ had a short visit with Dad last Wednesday...some times my brothers visit, but are not big on sharing their visit with everyone...

He noticed Dad's eye and foot did not look good.  Dad's eye is an ongoing issue as is the wound on his baby toe.  Dad also has gout which swells up every now and then...  As long as Dad is not in pain, we have decided not to stress him out with any aggressive treatment other than ointments and local treatments.

He said Dad was in a happy, joyful mood and was glad to see him.  My brother took him outside to talk but Dad got too cold and they had to go inside.  He helped Dad eat his lunch, helping Dad by feeding him, which Dad enjoyed.

I talked with the charge nurse and she told me Dad had lost 8 lbs in one week so they will be giving him more supplements and ice cream for dessert.  This seems to be an up and down thing... Dad loses weight and then gains it back...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bless Her Heart and Long May She Dance...


My cousin sent this to me...and as I watched it I had this HUGE SMILE on my face!  90 years old! My Dad loves to dance too...but lately, he does most of his dancing sitting in his wheel chair...

What amazed me is not only her endurance dancing throughout the entire song, with only one time to steady herself with her hand on the wall, but she danced wearing that sweat suit with a turtleneck underneath!  I would had combusted into flames!

Her grandson shot the video and put it on U-Tube.  Apparently she got more than a million hits.  She has done subsequent dances to "Dancing Like Jagger" and "Baby" by Justin Bieber.

Bless her heart and long may she dance!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Running in Circles....

After making some calls, I discovered the nursing home had discontinued Dad from the Zyprexia (for delusions) last September, and no one notified me...nor did they tell me they changed Dad from taking Namenda to Aricept (both are dementia/Alzheimer's medication), and did not  notify on that either.

This morning the charge nurse called me to inform me the Psychiatrist had seen Dad and decided to start weening Dad off the Lexapro (for depression).  I can understand them wanting to ween Dad off the Lexapro because he has been in such good spirits since last April when they put him on it.... but Mom had told them at the Care Conference she preferred they leave him on all his current medications.

I know Medicare would have issues, and rightly so, if Dad is not displaying any depression or negative behaviors helped by this medication...but as in the past, after a few months, he will be sad, calling Mom to come get him or getting paranoid someone is trying to kidnap him...it is a vicious cycle.

It is so frustrating to always have to remind them I AM THE FIRST CONTACT, but I guess if it is the only major complaint we have, I guess I can deal with it.

I spoke with Dad this morning...he sounded pretty good, a little tired, but was happy to hear from me and he did recognize my voice.  He immediately told me he threw up after breakfast, but feels fine now... I asked if he told the nurse and he told me he did, but reassured me he felt fine now... (I called the charge nurse back and asked if Dad had thrown up, but she and his CNA for the day knew nothing about it.)

I have noticed the last couple of times Dad and I have talked, he usually starts off the conversation telling me he threw up... Maybe he is attempting to get my attention...maybe he notices I have not spoken with him as regularly as I was.... I can't explain to him why it is not just a matter of picking up the phone and getting him on the line...  For the past several months, it has gotten increasingly difficult to reach him.  It is the usual, he is in the shower, the bathroom, the nurses are passing out meds or meals, he is in activities, he is in rehab,  or he is asleep....

Dad always asks about my husband....but today he asked about "the rest of the family"...so I began telling him about my daughters and grand kids and what they are all up to....Dad was unusually quiet, not making comments or asking me to repeat what I had just said... so I stopped talking and called to him...

"Dad?"

Silence...

"Dad?"

More silence...

"HELLO!?"

"Yes, I'm here...I just fell asleep on you..."


"OK Dad...do you want me to let you get some shut eye before your lunch?"


"Yes, dear, that is a good idea."


Short but sweet conversation...I miss our longer talks...but then, I miss so much with Dad...



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Care Conference, Memories, a Fedora and Sardines...

I waited from 10:20am to noon for my  Care Conference call on Dad this morning... Mom finally called me at noon to tell me the nursing home ran late and ended up having to use a room with no phone to see Mom.  They sent their apologies to me with Mom...

Overall, Dad is happy and content.  So happy they asked if we wanted them to discontinue some of his "happy pills"...which I assume are the Zyprexia and the Lexopro.  The last Care Conference, Dad was taking an array of 22 medications, ointments, vitamins and minerals...and I was hoping to update my list.  I tried calling, but all the nurses are in a meeting and I was asked to call back after 3pm.

They also wanted to know if we still wanted them to perform CPR if his heart would give out...telling Mom often with patients of Dad's age, 91, the breast bone can break.

They always ask us these questions to stay on top of everything, but it is always difficult to think about.  We also have an order for a stomach tube to be used for a short time.  I do not see the point of stomach tubes... my mother in law unfortunately was taken to the dark depths at the very end of Alzheimer's when the patient forgets how to eat, swallow, open their eyes, speak, and becomes comatose. 

My husband and his children decided not to do the stomach tube.  At the time, I had not gone through hospice training, so I did not know it is more harmful to use the stomach tube because the body is shutting down and it is more humane to allow it to happen.  I thought she would starve to death and it would be torture, so I was against it...but out voted.  I was by her side the last two weeks of her life and I never saw her more peaceful.  They took her off all medication and she laid there with such a restful expression on her face...

I read her Bible verses and hummed along with the Pastor sang to her.  One day while he was praying over her and singing, she moved her head so it touched his forehead and stayed there for a few minutes forehead to forehead...both the Pastor and I wept.

One day I was just sitting and talking to her...telling her how much I loved her and what a good mother and grandmother she was, and she fluttered her eyes and mumbled she loved me too.... She never looked like she was in any pain at all.  Her face never flinched or grimaced...she looked very serene and peaceful. I felt so blessed to receive that last gift from her...

Toward the end, the last day, she kept her mouth open to breathe...it was labored, but she still seemed peaceful.  The hospice nurse told us she was getting close and suggested we say our good byes...The Pastor suggested my husband tell her it was OK to let go...  He went in with her alone and said his good byes and shortly afterward, she let go and died.

I don't want my Dad to go to the end with Alzheimer's.  If his heart gives out, I want to let him go home to the Lord.  I know he is in a wonderful nursing home...but I will NEVER get used to visiting him there.  I HATE that he has to be there at all.  We do our best to see the positives, and the biggest blessing has been the personality change for the better in Dad.  Because he was demented for years, he refused often to take his medications and was very distrustful of doctors.  He was paranoid, suspicious and made life very difficult for himself and for Mom.

I can't help believing if he would have allowed the doctors to prescribe the dementia medications earlier, he could have stayed home longer and been much happier.  God knows, it would have made it so much better for Mom since she was his main caregiver.  He refused to believe he had dementia.  He forbid anyone to use the words dementia or Alzheimer's around him.  He preferred to think he had Parkinson's, like his younger sister...(which he did not have.)

Mom wants us all to have a family meeting and get together and discuss all of this.  We also need to decide on a mortuary and make final arrangements.  Both Mom and Dad plan on cremation, but since Dad is a Veteran, he can be buried in a national cemetery.  Each conference, Mom and I know we all have to discuss all of this, and send an email to everyone, but no one responds....it is just too difficult to think about...  We don't talk about it much, but I would venture to guess, everyone feels the way I do...


After the meeting, Mom went to visit Dad.  She had looked in on him when the conference was delayed, but he was absorbed with the Bible Study...so Mom did not disturb him.  The social director said Dad joins in on many more of the activities...seeking out others and being happily social...a blessing in deed, as when he was his "normal demented self" he was reserved, withdrawn and introverted.

The first thing she noticed was the gray fedora sitting, fashionably tilted on Dad's head.  Someone had given it to him and the nurses told Mom they have difficulty getting it off his head when they tuck him in at night... Dad thinks he looks pretty snazzy with it and will not part with it...

 picture from google images

Mom wheeled him into the lobby so they could visit before lunch.  Dad told her how happy he was and how nice it is there.  He was thrilled they gave him the fedora.

"Did you see the football game yesterday?" Mom asked...

"Oh yes, I have seen all Holl Doll's movies (Holl Doll is Dad's nick name for my sister Holly)...she is in practically every one I've seen..."

"I am amazed she has the time since she works at her job 40 hours a week...but I am sure she can much more money in movies..."


Mom tried again... "So what about the political debates...have you been following those?" (Dad used to be a staunch Republican...)

"Do I like sardines?  You know I love sardines...what's the matter with you?" 

"Oh yes," Mom said with a smirk, "how could I forget?"

(Dad has a hearing aid locked in the nurses station, but we cannot let him wear it without us, or it will get lost, like everything else does... Often we forget to get it, but looks like we may have to make more of an effort to get it during visits...)

Monday, January 9, 2012

Happy Birthday to my daughter...


My youngest daughter Jodee with her son Jacob celebrating her 33rd birthday at a Sushi restaurant!  Happy Birthday sweetheart, I love you!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Whooooo-hooooo!!!

I tried calling Dad today and was unable to make contact with him.  The nurse told me he was doing well.  I will try again tomorrow...

Today was my first attempt to do Face Time with my youngest daughter, her boyfriend and with baby Jacob, on her boyfriend's iPhone 4 and my mac book.  Success!  It was so fun seeing her new hair do and that sweet baby boy playing with Scout, the learning stuffed dog toy we gave him for Christmas!  Oh the wonders of technology!

When we talk on our cell phones, Jacob always wants to talk to me and ends up hanging up.  This time, when he could see my face, he kept blowing me kisses and each time he did, made a popping sound with his mouth.  I could not stop laughing!