This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bad Backs, Diving and The Creature From The Black Lagoon...

Fasted fourteen hours to test my cholesterol levels this morning.  I know my numbers will be high.  It is always way up there in the summer months, mainly because I cannot stay away from ice cream and frozen yogurt.  When it is hot outside, it is my excuse not to anything, let alone exercise.

After my appointment, I took myself out to Coco's for breakfast.  They have a special breakfast for $3.99.  Two eggs, two pieces of bacon or sausage, country potatoes and my choice of pancakes or toast.  I chose toast.  Sat there and read the book I am reading (SHADOW DIVERS by Robert Kurson).  I had tried to read it this morning while I was distracting myself from food...and Izzy got behind me on the couch, put her paws on my shoulder and kept giving me wet willies in my ear...

This book is so exciting!  I can't wait for the movie.  It is suppose to come out in 2012.  I will be buying a ticket the first day!  It was so nice to sit and relax and read to my hearts content...

I ran some errands and then came home because my back was really hurting...

I have been cleaning out our master closet the past few days...threw my back out again.  I am serious pain.  I feel like someone threw acid on my left clavicle and then stabbed me with a huge 12 inch butcher knife!  Got my ICY HOT PAK on, listening to CREED and just took a Motrin...hopefully, it will help me finish this post...

Never heard from the nurse at the nursing home yesterday, so I called.  No new orders and basically she gave me the same report Mom did.  I asked to be transferred to the social worker and then asked for Dad to be put on the list for the Podiatrist.  My last visit his feet looked like the monster from  the movie, CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON... 

She assured me he was on the list.  She told me Mom had left her a voice mail too.  I complained we had visited twice (once me and once my sister) when the podiatrist had been there.  We both told the CNA we would wait while he had his nails trimmed and we were each reassured it could be done afterward.  Both times the guy left!  So hopefully, we can get him trimmed soon.

The social worker also told me Dad's new glasses arrived.  It only took two months.  They make them in the prisons.  I wanted to know his eye prescriptions to make sure he can a new prescription instead of just a replacement.  In the process of looking up his last eye exam, she told me each time Dad returns back from a hospital visit, they close out his other chart and start a new one.  WHaaaaaaaaaaat???  She explained they were short on storage space.  Is it me?  That makes zero sense to me!!

That would certainly explain the problem they have not calling me consistently about Dad!!!!  I told her I had concerns his past history would not be readily available.  She reassured me all his allergies and pertinent information is transferred over to the new chart.  Have any of you ever heard of that before?  Is this common on Medicare-Medi-Cal patients??

Today was my youngest daughter's last day of work as she begins her maternity leave.  I spoke with her tonight and she was very emotional leaving work today.  She is due to have my third grand son in two weeks.

I'm pooped...I'm hitting the sack early for a change...night, night...

Monday, August 30, 2010

We're Half Way There...

I called the nursing home this morning to make sure everything was set for Dad's 11:30am appointment with the vascular surgeon.  The charge nurse told me everything was ready and the male CNA, who is so nice to Dad, will go with him to the appointment.  Mom will meet them at the surgeon's office.

I asked the nurse to call me when Dad returned and fill me in on what the doctor said.  She promised she would...

No phone call.

Mom called and told me the surgeon said Dad's circulation was very good.  The wound on his pinkie toe is almost healed, but he said it was a trauma.  He suspects Dad hit his toe or rolled over it with the wheel chair.
Dad had to wait a half hour before he was seen.  Mom was upset, because she was there at 11am and told the receptionist Dad was on his way on the transport.  The receptionist told her to let them know when he arrived. 

When Dad arrived with the transport and his CNA, Mom informed the front desk.. She was told they had to wait for a "wheel chair" room.  WHAT A CROCK!  After a half hour, Dad was called, and his CNA was directed into the room Dad used to go into when he was not in a wheel chair.

Mom watched the doctor as he took off his coat and went into his office. After twenty additional minutes, Mom asked the receptionist if the doctor had gone to lunch!  She looked embarrassed, and told Mom he was probably writing his notes...

Mom felt bad having both the transport and the CNA having to wait so long...Mom said the doctor did not mention seeing Dad again or made any comments about his compression stockings.  The receptionist needed a copy of Dad's Medicare and Medi-Cal card, so after Dad was finally on his way back to the nursing home, Mom had to drive home and bring back the cards so the doctor could have his copy of Dad's cards.  I thought the charge nurse told me she had all the paperwork in order!!!

Tomorrow I will call and make sure everything is OK with Dad's foot....Dad thought he was there to get glasses...

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Memory Flashes From My Father's Voice...

I called the nursing home this morning, still trying to talk with Dad...I called a little before 9am.  I was asked to call back in fifteen minutes as he was having his shower...

I called back in a half hour and they told me he was not in his room, so they tried to dining room, then tried to have me call again.  I insisted they please find him as I have been trying for several days.  After a short wait, I could hear a nurse telling Dad, his daughter was on the phone...

Hearing his voice say my name, was a mixture of delight and what felt like a 'pinched heart'.  Some times, hearing his voice, sets in motion a whirling, rapid, nano second flashes of memories...him dressed in a suit and tie when he came to my apartment when I lived at the beach, to take me to dinner.  Riding his shoulders as we rode a ferry boat in Bremerton, Washington.  I must have been six or seven, but I still remember the breeze on my face and the twinkling lights in the darkness...Dad in his overalls, working and puttering in the yard. The sound of his voice when he asked if he could make me a cup of tea, and how it always tasted like the best cup of tea...

When I was pouting for having to do dishes as a stubborn pre-teen, he would lift up my pony tail, and kiss the back of my neck.  I would giggle and get goose pimples... his never ending patience and long, detailed explanations to any question I asked.  His faith in God and seeing him kneeing in morning prayer, his hands clasped, thumbs over lapped, fingers pointing to the heavens, just like a child.  If any of us were hungry, he would go to any lengths to satisfy your taste buds and act as if we were doing him the favor...

I immediately tell him how much I love and miss him, and his voice softens and tells me how much I mean to him too.  He laughs and smiles when I make kissing noises and tell him I am stuffing the phone with kisses and hugs... His voice sounds hopeful and happy when I tell him of my visit in a few weeks...

I ask, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear how good he feels, after his shower.  Dad always started and ended his day, with a shower.  I ask how he is.  He tells me he did not sleep too well.  He was up all night, watching out for himself... 

I wonder often if he will ever feel as safe and secure there, in the nursing home, as he did in his home. Personally, no matter how kind and caring they are at the nursing home, I cannot imagine it myself. I think of his terminology and wonder if he is standing guard like he did in the Marine Corp over 67 years years ago...

We chat about the weather there and here, about Doctor-Doctor, and how they take care of him.

I told him he must be exhausted, and ask if he had his breakfast already.  He told me he did, but he also mentioned he was not so hungry as he ate so much yesterday...we both laughed together, because he does love to eat...

I told him again how much I loved him and that my husband sends his love too.  Dad asked how he was and told him he was working hard, but he is fine.  Dad was glad to hear it.

Knowing he needed some shut eye, I asked if he wanted to take a little nap before lunch, and the relief in his voice told me he was really tired.  I wished him the sweetest of dreams and told him I would see him soon...

I miss you Dad and love you so very much...

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Dad's Desk...

Mom asked me if I would clean out Dad's desk and his stuff in the office of their home.  I will be making another trip to California mid September for the birth of my third grand son.  I can probably spend a few days helping Mom.

Dad's desk is a cornucopia of pretty much anything you can imagine.  Paperwork, tools, various nuts, bolts, screws, Sudoku puzzles, mathematical equations, pamphlets on various plants, assorted garden seeds, empty prescription bottles, balls of tin foil, rubber bands, chunks of metal, manuals to tools, and just about anything you would not expect to find in a desk.

I have already taken all his diaries home. I have been reading through them and making notes for the book I hope to write about Dad.

I still feel very strange when I am sorting and packing up his things, when he is still with us.  You would think after a year, I would be used to him not living in their home, but I still expect him to come in from the back yard in his overalls. I realize he has no use for most of his stuff, yet, I remember how important it was to him when he was home...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Fatherly Inheritance...


"Sometimes
the poorest man
leaves his children
 the richest inheritance."

 ~Ruth E. Renkel~

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dad Wants To Learn Spanish...

Mom visited Dad after the Care Conference yesterday.  He was riding the stationary bike with his eyes closed...no doubt, his imagination had him riding along the boardwalk on the East coast some where, smelling the ocean's salty mist...

The therapist asked Dad to open his eyes.  He did, looked at Mom, smiled, closed his eyes and continued on his adventure...

Mom and the therapist were discussing Dad's upcoming 90th birthday party.  Dad was oblivious and never opened his eyes.

Mom saw Doctor-Doctor and went into the hall to chat with her, telling her how sorry she was we could not work it out so she could accompany Dad next week.  Doctor-Doctor told Mom she had explained everything to Dad.  Dad was nervous and wondered if he could trust the male attendant who will accompany him on his appointment to the vascular surgeon on Monday, the 30th.  She reassured him, he could.

Doctor-Doctor also told Mom Dad wants her to teach him Spanish, so she has been teaching him.  Dad was always interested in learning Spanish, and had several books.  When he came to stay at the nursing home, he kept asking us for his Spanish-English dictionary.  We would bring it, only to have it disappear of to find it buried under all his stuff in his bedside drawers...

I know he will enjoy having her teach him...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It's All About Dad...

Today was Dad's Care Conference.  Mom attended in person, and I, via speaker phone.  Mom thanked the head chef for all the good food he prepares and told him how much Dad enjoys it.  She related a few funny stories about the "salty sailor' who cusses while woofing down his food, and the other day, when Dad thought the strawberry ice cream on his spoon was lipstick and belly laughing when Mom had explained what it was. 

I was asked to confirm I still wanted to be the first person contacted regarding Dad and I told them yes.  They asked if I was being contacted first and I let them know it has really improved.  They mentioned the BIG NOTE IN BLACK MARKER on his chart, which I had asked them to do.  The social worker explained their procedure to call the "responsible person" first.  They asked if I wanted to be listed as the responsible person.  Mom and I both agreed she would remain the responsible person and I would be the first contact.

I asked how the therapy is affected when Dad's 100 days of Medicare coverage expires after his hospital stay last May.  Mom had found out that morning with the financial manager, but had not had a chance to explain it to me.  After 100 days following a hospital stay, Medi-Cal kicks in and does a maintenance program to keep up all the progress Dad has made.  On Medicare, Dad gets newer exercise and more intensified therapy.

Mom wanted to know how Dad is doing with his mobility.  The therapist said they always have someone walking with Dad for safety sake.  Dad uses a walker when he walks.  He can stand by himself, but to keep him steady, someone is always beside him.

I asked how often his wrist alarm is checked and discovered they check it every day. 

We went over emergency response and life saving procedures.  We confirmed we wanted Dad to be revived by all available methods and kept alive or on machines only until all family members who would want to see Dad for a final good bye, could be present.  I know myself and my brother in Ohio would appreciate this option. We agreed and made it clear, Dad did not want to be kept alive by machines.  His sister was basically a vegetable living on machines, and it really bothered and shook him up.  He told us he did not ever want that for himself.

We had discussions about Dad having a hearing aid kept at the nurses locked medicine cart. Dad has new glasses on order that will go better with his cataracts.  He will have a podiatrist appointment, and daily showers and regular trimming of his facial hair.  The psychiatrist had been to see Dad and felt he was doing as well as expected.  His primary is due to see him the first of September.

I asked them to please continue to offer him water and to always make sure he has a pitcher of cold water with ice on his bed stand. 

We shared Mom and Dad's 65th wedding anniversary had been August 4th.  Dad did not remember this year, and Mom did not remind him.  Dad will celebrate his 90th birthday in November.  The staff were so excited to hear it and told us they would make a huge party for him to celebrate. They reminded us about their Halloween carnival on October 22nd and told us we all were invited.  Last year, Dad was afraid of some of the costumes.  Mom and I plan on attending this year, so Dad can enjoy it more.

I commented on how Dad has always been so reserved, introverted, shy, and quiet and how his personality has changed to being more extroverted, vocal, joyful, happier and how he seems so free.  We all have commented on him laughing more than we ever remember and enjoy his impromptu singing hymns.

The activities director told us she was developing a gardening class and wanted to see if Dad would help her again.  Last Spring, Dad planted flowers and herbs in the window boxes.  She told us they have huge sunflowers growing now, and wanted to bring Dad out to enjoy them.  Both Mom and I told them he would LOVE it!!!

They read the list of all of his medications and told us Dad had a small rash on his abdomen. Dad has very sensitive skin, so this is not surprising. Dad is getting a lot of vitamins to insure wound healing, skin health and to supplement mental health.

Mom and I thanked them for being the Angels they all are and told them how much we appreciate the care they give Dad and for all they do.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Lessons In Life...



"He didn't tell me how to live;
he lived, and let me watch him do it."

 ~Clarence Budington Kelland~

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Circle Of Friends....


The other day, Donna at http://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com/, generously presented me with the Circle of Friends Award.  Thank you so much Donna.

I am to share it with five friends, post their blog links, and then notify each one. So in no particular order, I share this Award with five of my many blog friends. I would also like to bestow this Award to any of my other friends who come to visit. May I invite you to receive this Award as well...

The first six (oops, I am such a rule breaker...) friends are:

Jerry at Gently Said
Sandie at Chatty Crone (despite her having this Award from someone else, she is getting it again from me, because she is in my circle of friends...)

Now I am off to notify each of them of their awards...


Friday, August 20, 2010

As Enthusiastic As Popeye...


Mom went to visit Dad.  She first stopped in to see the Administrator of the nursing home.  She had called me in the morning to tell me about a letter she received from the nursing home, stating Dad's Medicare portion (100 days) had run out, so anything not covered, she would have to pay.  The insurance/financial officer was off, so Mom cannot speak with her until Monday.  Tuesday, is Dad's Conference Care meeting.  Mom and I will attend (me via the phone).  The Administrator assured her Dad was still covered and he would still get the same care.  He told her not to sign until she was able to talk with the financial office.

Mom found Dad eating his lunch at a table with the salty, sailor and his girlfriend.  You remember, the one who cusses about how bad the food is, as he shovels it, as fast as he can, into his mouth with one hand, holding his girlfriend's hand with the other...

As Mom walked down the hallway toward the dining room, she saw the wound care nurse and stopped to chat.  She was happy to hear her excellent reports on Dad's wound progress.  The wound on his pinkie toe is getting smaller and smaller and is almost healed.  She told Mom she had ordered the two compression stockings for him and felt it was definitely contributing to the progressive healing.

Mom greeted Dad, asking how he was today; Dad looked up smiling, and told her he was good.  He added the fact E___ had told him to concentrate on the positive.  She agreed.  I think it is phenomenal Dad remembered what his son had told him two days prior.

Dad had a delicious meal of fish, french fries, cold slaw, spinach, bread and butter, milk, coffee and strawberry ice cream.  Dad had finished everything except for the spinach.  Mom urged Dad to finish his spinach, so he could be as strong as Popeye.  Dad suddenly grabbed a handful of spinach and popped it is his mouth.  Mom was stunned as she had never seen Dad feed himself with his hands instead of using utensils.  Dad kept shoving in huge hand fulls until it was gone.  Mom was afraid he would choke, his mouth was so full!

She scooped up a spoonful of his strawberry ice cream and tried to feed him.  He turned his head telling her it was too soft and had not been in the refrigerator.  Mom asked one of the CNA gals to get Dad some colder ice cream.  She returned with some vanilla.  Mom popped the lid and dug in the spoon she had used on the strawberry ice cream.  Dad again turned his head and told her there was "lipstick" on his spoon.  Mom assured him it was strawberry ice cream.  Her comment tickled Dad as he roared with laughter!

Mom noticed Dads eye looked gookie again, and made a mental note to tell the charge nurse on the way out... She also wanted the nurses to check and test his wrist alarm.  Dad only had one on today.

Dad told Mom the young girls there wanted my youngest brother, E___ to return to visit.  Apparently they all told Dad how handsome he is.

Dad also told Mom about a young girl he met.  He told Mom he had met her before when his room was on the other side of the nursing home.  He told Mom how much he liked her.  Mom pleasantly told him she was happy for him.

Dad looked at Mom and reminded her he was a murderer, which Mom did not react to, because a couple visits back he had discussed this with her.  He went on to tell her when he entered the room this morning every one smiled at him, and it made him feel so good. I wonder if Dad thinks about the War, and that is why he feels he is a murderer?

Dad changed the subject and asked if she would like to go out to the patio.  Mom told him it was over a 100 degrees outside and might be too hot.  Dad agreed and invited her to his room.  She wheeled him in, and the room was deserted.  Both his room mates were out.  She sat on his bed and Dad sat in the wheel chair as they visited some more...

Mom mentioned Dad needed a hair cut and he assured her they would see he got one, telling her how well he was cared for.  Mom asked Dad if he would like to wear his eye glasses, and apologised for not finding it the other day because she did not look in his case.  Dad waved his hand in the air and told her he could not see with the glasses anyway. He told her he would get Doctor-Doctor to take him to a better eye doctor because the one there (at the nursing home) was no good.  Dad has cataracts and refused to have them done when he was living at home.

Mom silently worried Dad would start wanting to go to more outside appointments, as long as he could be with Doctor-Doctor...

Dad announced he needed to be changed.  Mom went to the hall, just as his male CNA for the day came to the door, wheeling in one of his room mates.  Mom told him about Dad's eye, needing a hair cut and he needed to be changed.  The CNA said he was bringing in the other room mate for a nap, and then he would change Dad.

Dad told her he was tired and wanted to take a nap.  She gave him a kiss and a hug and told him to have sweet dreams...and returned home to finish organizing her craft room...

She stopped at In and Out on her way home. By the time she reached her home, she felt sick and was ill the rest of the day. She was not sure if it was the heat or the burger. She and my sister are going to a cousin's wedding and reception tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

No Room For Hatred and Evil...

My youngest brother E___ went to visit "Pops" (as he affectionately calls Dad) today.  When my brother arrived, Dad was getting his shower, so he visited with Doctor-Doctor.  She updated him on Dad and how well he is doing.

When the CNA wheeled Dad out, with his hair combed, all fresh and clean, his face lit up when his now, huge eyes saw him...

"HELLO my son!!! " He called E___ by name and told him he was a "sight for sore eyes".

My brother asked how Dad was, and Dad told him, "I am so happy!"

E___ noticed Dad had his compression stockings on with a non-skid sock over it, to protect his toes.  The CNA told my brother they could visit, then Dad would have lunch and have to lay down for awhile. As E____ wheeled Dad outside for a visit, he asked Dad why he had to lay down... 

Dad told him, "They were keeping an eye on his ticker"...

Some times, in his confusion, Dad thinks he is back at the VA Hospital in Long Beach.  He was there in the early 1970's with heart problems.  He had a heart catheterization and it scared him to death. I will never forget his face when I came to visit him. He had sheer terror in his eyes. 

When Dad came home, he swore off salt and called it "white death".  He really changed his eating habits and lifestyle.  He starting walking every day, then jogging and in at the age of 60, he entered a marathon and ran 27 miles!  I spoke with him over the phone afterward and he was hardly out of breath!  No doubt Dad added years to his life by making those life changes during that span of ten years. He continued to walk every day until he was placed in the nursing home.

I called the charge nurse to double check and make sure Dad was not having any heart problems.  She assured me the only reason they were doing regular elevation, were to help heal his wound on his pinkie toe.

E____ mentioned to Dad after their visit, Dad would be having lunch.  Dad told him he "eats them out of 'house and home', but he was not very hungry." (Dad often says this when he has a visitor, because he doesn't want the visitor to leave.)  My brother told Dad after their visit, he was going to help Mom do some things around the house.

Dad asked, "Which Mother are you going to see?"...

E____ laughed, and told Dad, "I am going to see Mom, my Mother, your wife."

We all know Dad thinks he is married to several women, which, I am sure, is his way of letting those women know how much he likes them.... Like a dark cloud coming over his face, Dad suddenly looked angry and mad, 

"Some times I have evil thoughts about your Mom..."

Without missing a beat, E___ made eye contact with Dad., getting right in front of him in front of the wheel chair...

"Pops, there is no room for hatred and evil in your life.  You have too many blessings to think that way. You have this green grass, the blue sky, and this beautiful day. You have your friends here who take such good care of you and care about you.  You have your life time friends and family.  Pops, you have God in your heart."

Dad looked thunder-struck, or as if E____ had just explained the theory of relativity....

Profusely, Dad began to thank him for telling him that...repeatedly, he thanked his son, and as quickly as the dark clouded mood came, it dissipated into the bright sunny day it was. 

"Thank you son, thank you so much E_____ for reminding me. You have wakened me from my nightmare...  I will shun the devil!"

E___ took out his cell phone and asked Dad if he would like to see some pictures and video from his recent trip to Catalina.  Dad was smiling and enthusiastic.  E___ showed him pictures of himself, his girlfriend and her son.  He showed him video of all of them doing a zip line.

Dad has cataracts, and I know it affects his vision.  One picture my brother showed Dad, was his girlfriend wearing a sun dress.  Dad commented on her bathing suit...

Afterward, Dad was content and smiling.  My brother hugged him good bye and told Dad it was time for his lunch, and he was off to help Mom.  As E_____ wheeled Dad back into the lunch room, smacking his lips, Dad said,

"I'm hungry. I could "eat a horse"....

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Finally...

The wound care nurse phoned me today to let me know she received the two pairs of compression stockings she ordered through Rehab, for Dad.  She told me his wound on his pinkie toe is getting smaller and looking so much better.  Between the blood thinners and the compression stockings, it is making a huge difference.

I tried calling Dad a couple times in the morning and had no luck.  I threw the left side of my back out again, dancing around the house.  I need to lose some poundage... I think I got carried away...so I laid down and napped the rest of the day away.

The weather has been so hot.  I filled Izzy's swimming pool, but she prefers only quick trips outside to do her business and comes right back inside to keep me company.  I got her one of those Fox Crazy Pets advertised on TV and she LOVES it!!  She shakes it and tosses it.  So cute.

Spent two days thrift storing, so I have to get rid of stuff if I buy more stuff, so things don't get all cluttered again...

Gotta get my husband to put another Icy Hot patch on me....

Sunday, August 15, 2010

"For Fast-Acting Relief, Try Slowing Down"...

This quote was by Lily Tomlin.  Wise advice and it is exactly what we did this weekend...Saturday we lazed around, puttering, chatting, I made a roast in the crock pot, and we just did what we felt like doing.

Today was more of the same, only while Izzy and my husband napped and watched TV, I went thrift store hopping with my neighbor.  We had took our time, browsed and hunted for bargains, and then enjoyed a nice lunch at In and Out.  Got home and hubby barbecued, while I made corn on the cob and a fresh salad.
What a great weekend...


I found this picture of a backyard. 
I can really see myself sitting in one of those chairs,
 enjoying a nice refreshing drink,
munching on some grapes and cucumbers,
and reading a book...
Doesn't it look inviting?
I sure wish I had a million dollars..
.I'd have my Architect
build me a house around
this peaceful place....


Saturday, August 14, 2010

Dominoes, Anyone?

My sister Holly, went to visit Dad this morning. She found him "sawing logs" in his room. There were no other roommates around, and their beds were neatly made. Dad was peacefully sleeping near the window in his sparkling clean room. She let him sleep and decided to check for his compression stockings and glasses. She opened Dad's top drawer and inside his eyeglass case, were his glasses! The case is marked with his name but his glasses were NOT marked. (We will have to mark them soon..)

She found the video she had made for him of all the family, and decided to watch it. She waited a while and then woke him up. Dad smiled when he opened his eyes and told her she was an answer to his prayers and he was so happy to see her.

She put his glasses on him and played the video, so they could watch it together. Dad recognized everyone. He commented on my daughter, Jodee and my grandsons. Holly reminded Dad that Jodee would be bringing another grandson into this world very soon. He told her, he remembered...

One of the male nurses came in and asked Dad if he wanted to get up. He changed Dad and Holly took him out on the patio with the dominoes she had brought. She pretended she couldn't remember how many dominoes they start with and he immediately told her, "7". So, they started with 7...

Dad beat her 5 games out of 6. She had Dad count to her a few times, asking him how many dots were on a particular domino... Dad was accurate each time. He concentrated and deliberated before each domino he would play. It was a gorgeous day, not too hot and they enjoyed being outside. The gardeners at the nursing home have DRASTICALLY cut back the trees, making very little shade.

Dad's skin looked good. He had his compression stockings on his feet, but his toes looked purple. Holly could tell there was a bandage on his little toe but it was cleanly covered. Holly noted the barnacle on Dad's ear looks a lot better and much improved. His eye was still red but didn't have discharge like it usually does.

Holly said she did not see Doctor-Doctor, so she must have had the day off. One of the nurses brought a man out on the patio. My sister did not recognize him, so he must be a new resident. He is a smoker, as the nurse lit a cigarette for him. Dad greeted the gentleman when they came outside but the man didn't acknowledge him. Possibly he was hard of hearing...

Dad seemed very happy and cooperative. He was ready for whatever was suggested. Lunch was being served, so my sister wheeled him back inside to enjoy his lunch with his friends. Dad told her how much he loved her and they kissed goodbye.

She had a wonderful visit and felt Dad was better than usual. She thought Dad seemed a lot less confused

Friday, August 13, 2010

Hawaiian Breezes, With A Drumstick For A Baton...

Mom went to visit Dad today.  The nursing home is putting on a Hawaiian BBQ, complete with decorations and Hawaiian Hula dancers. She went early, as my request, to search for those elusive compression stockings...apparently, the ones the nurse told me they had, were not the compression ones.

Mom called me this morning, and asked if I would mind rescheduling Dad's appointment with the vascular surgeon.  She has Bible Study on Wednesdays. When I called to reschedule, I had to call the nursing home so they could change the transport and get another CNA to accompany Dad.  Doctor-Doctor is only available on Wednesday.  There is another female CNA and a male, who Dad likes and are very caring and helpful.  I was able to get the male CNA to go with Dad.

I spoke with the business office and asked if Medicare would cover replacing Dad's compression stockings.  She told me Dad was at the end of his 100 days since his release from his hospital stay when he had the fall.  He will be off Medicare on the 21st of this month, so we have to get authorization from the vascular surgeon before Dad's appointment on the 30th.  She told me I would have to file a "missing" report first, so she transferred me to the social worker.  She was not in, so I left a message with her.

Next, I called the wound care nurse and filled her in on the changes and the missing report I want to file to get Dad a new stocking.  She told me she would call the vascular surgeon and get the authorization, and then check with a different supplier to see if she could get him the right stockings. She reassured me, if Dad needs Una boot weekly treatments, she can do them in the nursing home.  What a relief!

When Mom was walking down the hallway of the nursing home, the wound care nurse told her to tell me she had ordered the stockings for Dad. 

Dad was kind of "out of it" today.  He kept telling Mom he went to a fight in LA.  When he walked in, all the TV and radio announcers stopped talking and smiled when he walked in to sit down.  He told her he was getting a sales job, with a company car and an expense account.  He told her he needed M-O-N-E-Y (he actually spelled it out to her) for his hot dogs.

He wanted her to bring him his Veteran's check.  Dad gets a pension from working at the school district and his social security.  Mom thought he meant his Veteran's life insurance, and told him she paid it.  He firmly said NO!  She asked if he meant his school pension check? NO!  His social security check? NO!  He demanded she bring him his Veteran's check...

I had gotten Dad approved for Vets benefits, but Dad would have to be seen and re-examined by a Veteran's physician.  Dad could be seen for minor things in a satellite Vets care clinic, but anything serious, and he would have to go to Loma Linda or Long Beach.  Dad REFUSED to go back to Long Beach, due to some bad experiences at the Vet hospital...

I had discovered it would take 6months to one year to get Veteran's compensation and only if Dad stayed in Assisted Living. There was no compensation for a nursing home, which is what Dad needed.  We all decided, given Dad's combative state at the time, to fore go his Veteran's benefits, and get him on Medicare/Medi-Cal, so he could be seen and treated as soon as possible.  We could not afford to pay $2500 a month for the Assisted Living, and they would not take Dad because they were not a secure facility.

Dad was very lonesome for his family and wanted to know where we all were.  Mom explained where we all were, two brothers were on trips, one brother lives in Ohio, I live in Nevada, and everyone else is working. I am going to attempt to get through to him tomorrow.

Dad complained about not having any glasses.  He has given away three pairs so far in a little over a year.  Mom told me she is going to look for a lanyard to hang around his neck and attach some cheap reading glasses to them.  Maybe that will help him...

Dad was worrying about Doctor-Doctor (she was off today) and he worried that she was safe.  Mom asked a female CNAsto tell Dad she had checked and Doctor-Doctor was fine.  That seemed to satisfy Dad.

It was a beautiful day, with a nice breeze, so knowing the out of doors soothes Dad, Mom wheeled him outside, which always brings a big smile to his face...

About then, the BBQ was ready, so Mom wheeled him out to the festivities.  They had Hawaiian music and hula dancers in all shapes and sizes, so Dad thoroughly enjoyed that!  Mom filled him a plate with a dogwood sandwich and barbecued chicken.  Dad woofed it down, all the while, swaying to the beat of the music with his  chicken drumstick.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Do You Ever Feel Like The World Has Come To Your Front Yard?

The expression, "It's A Small World", has really been personified lately...I recently filed for early Social Security, and the newspapers are filled with articles of all the Baby Boomers are filing early for their Social Security, putting a huge strain on the system...

So many of our neighbors have taken on relatives living with them, due to the relatives losing jobs or their homes, or both... Several of those neighbors are caring for elderly parents, either in their homes or advocating, as I am. 

Today while walking my dog, I saw one of my neighbors sitting on a wall, two streets over from where she lives with her husband and her Mother.  Her husband is diabetic and has very low blood pressure.  The other day he fell and only by accident did she come home early and found him, calling 911.  The doctor told her if she had arrived a half hour later, he would not have made it.

They are wonderful neighbors.  We always share gardening and planting ideas and they always welcome my dog and I to stop and visit.

I asked her if she was OK, and she looked up and made eye contact.  I knew immediately she was not.  She answered, "No".  I asked if it was her husband again, and she told me it was not him.  It was her Mother who has anal cancer.  She told me she needed to get away and have time to herself.  I could totally understood and left, giving her privacy.

Tonight I received an email from Mom.  Her dear friends from church had their niece and her husband murdered in their beds in Rosemead this past Monday.  No killer has been found, but their fourteen year old grand daughter is missing and so is their car...

Some other church friends were killed in a bus accident.

Years ago, I would hear of people I did not know or had any connection to, meeting a gruesome fate or becoming ill.  Now, it seems the connections are so much closer to home...

I spoke with my best friend in California and we were both commenting on how difficult things are for so many people. 

Everything seems more serious, cautious and uncertain.  Today, I am really feeling the impact of it all.  I feel like so many of us are all in the same boat.  The world has become so much smaller...

How about you?  Do you ever feel like the world has come to your front yard?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Running At Full Speed....Panting All The Way...

We have my step son visiting us.  He is nineteen and absolutely delightful.  He is very tech savvy and we enjoy long conversations about the latest in cell phones, apps and computers, so besides his fun personality, I look forward to his talks.  He goes home on Wednesday.  We are going to the movies shortly, so I have to type fast...

First, I want to apologise to everyone for not writing more regularly.  I have not got my energy level back on track since returning from California.  I think this heat is a contributing factor...

I called first thing this morning and scheduled a consult visit and for the vascular surgeon to check Dad's left pinkie toe.  We will determine from that visit on Monday, August 30th, if he needs weekly treatments or a new pair of compression stockings.

I called the administrator and politely asked if he would have the nurses conduct a diligent search to find Dad's compression stockings.  The other day, the wound care nurse told me they did not have them.  I found out this morning that Medicare/Medi-Cal will not pay for new stockings... (of course not, that would be preventative medicine!!)

The nurse just called to inform me the stockings were found in Dad's closet.  Transport is being arranged and Doctor-Doctor is checking her schedule to see if she is available to go with Dad.

More later...gotta go to the show....

Friday, August 6, 2010

Some Days It Feels Like A 500 Pound Sack Of Cement...

Mom had a great visit with Dad today. He was in bed after lunch with his feet elevated and about to nod off. Mom knew her timing was bad to come after lunch with him so tired, but he was delighted to see her. Dad seemed very concerned about world peace and would return to that subject no matter what Mom mentioned.

Dad also repeated several times how delicious the food was and how he eats everything they give him. After the third mention of wonderful food, Mom decided to go knock on the kitchen door and give them his thanks and appreciation. (Especially since Dad nodded off and began to snore...) She talked with one of the lady cooks and she was very happy to hear Dad's praise via her.

She noted the lesion on Dad's lip looks almost healed, the ear "knob" was gone (due to Dad picking it again...and it had to be bandaged).  Even his eye looked good. Mom had told him how well he looked and he told her he was feeling fine. Mom also praised him for his excellent behavior during the cat scan.

Mom spoke with Doctor-Doctor after visiting Dad, and she told Mom, Dad had asked her several times if he would be safe or if they would "hurt" him.  She assured him everything would be fine. Mom told her once again how much we appreciate her, thanked her for going with Dad in the transport and the care she gives Dad.

Mom spoke with the charge nurse, and she asked if we could buy Dad some "soft" shoes for when he is in the wheel chair. Mom told her she was under the impression the skin care nurse wanted Dad in those foam bootees all the time, and not to allow Dad to wear shoes.. The charge nurse said she thought the soft slipper/shoe would be OK. 

Two days ago, Mom and Dad were married sixty-five years.

The skin care nurse is calling me quite often, insisting we take Dad to a vascular surgeon because the wound on his left pinkie toe is not healing.  She wants us to go for a consult.  I am afraid Dad has an ulcer and it will become a weekly appointment for a Una boot.  I wish we could find a vascular surgeon who would come visit and treat Dad in the nursing home...

Each time we schedule an outside doctor appointment, I have to arrange it with the scheduler, so she can make arrangements for the transport van to take Dad, plus get a CNA (we request Doctor-Doctor) and then Mom must pay her $40 for a 3 hour minimum.  We certainly cannot ignore it, because ulcers that go untreated can lead to possible amputation.  We want to avoid that at all costs!

Dad has so many ailments and medical issues.  He has what we believe to be skin cancer lesions on his upper lip, his left temple, and on his left ear.  A few times we had a doctor examine them and when the doctor mentioned biopsy, Dad FREAKED out and just kept saying, NO! NO!! NO!!! louder and louder until I quieted him down by telling him he was NOT going to have a biopsy.

We had Dad fitted for some compression stockings over a year ago.  Because Dad has not worn them regularly, the skin care nurse told me she was "embarrassed to tell me the stockings are missing".  She has some other type stockings she has been using, but it is not the same.  The compression stockings are tighter and custom fitted to his  little skinny bird legs. We'll have to get another prescription from the vascular surgeon to get him more stockings.  Main problem with nursing homes...everybody shares and things get "misplaced".

I told the skin care nurse where to look for them, but obviously, she did not find them.  Mom could not find them either.  Mom is going to go through some of Dad's things at home, to see if she can find any of his old pairs, as a substitute, until we can get him an appointment. 

Monday, I will call Dad's former vascular surgeon and let him know what is going on with Dad.  Maybe he might know of one who would come to the nursing home.  I know he doesn't.  Guess we'll have to get Dad in for a consult and then go from there.

The activities director of the nursing home, invited Mom to the Hawaiian luau next Friday, the 13th. There will be a luncheon and entertainment. She also extended to invitation to any one else in our family who would care to come. Mom is planning on going. They are very generous that way, and do have delicious food.

I had called both the nursing home and Dad's primary care physician to see if the CT Scan results had arrived.  Both told me no.  Later tonight, I received an email from the physician, telling me Dad's results were good and his brain was recovering from the bleed.  He has returned Dad to the blood thinners.  He also told me it would be advisable to get Dad in for a consult with the vascular surgeon, because Dad's would on his little pinkie toe does not look good.

Some days it feels like a 500 pound sack of cement is riding on my shoulders....

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Super Captain C3PO Abraham Lincoln On The Loose With No Hat...

This morning I awoke at 6:30am to my youngest grandson playing with his Lego Pirate Ship, on the floor beside the couch where I slept last night.  I observed him at play, intently making a swishing sound with his mouth.  His innocent, five year old profile was focused on his imaginary adventure. His hair, shaved short in a summer buzz, caught a sliver of morning light from the front room blinds.  Dressed in his Transformer under pants, he lifted a toy shark up in the air, again making the swishing sounds...

I greeted him with my groggy, morning voice, "Good morning precious boy..."

"Mornin' Grandma", as he looked up with his huge blue eyes and gave me his best Cabbage Patch smile...

"You can turn off the fan if you are too cold, Honey..."

"Thanks..."

His Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, his brother and I all stayed up past midnight.  We watched and commented on the The Bachelorette finale. My sister Holly was also present, via texting on our cell phones.  We laughed so hard cracking ourselves up with our "smack talk" banter. My grandson had fallen asleep in my arms about 5:30pm.  He was tired from swimming with his big brother and I most of the afternoon.  He is wide eyed and bushy tailed this morning...

"Did you have a good sleep last night?"

"I woke up in the night and took my pillow and went to sleep on the futon in the play room..."

"You did? Why did you sleep there?"

"I wanted to, and when I do, I sleep AWESOME!"

"I'm glad sweetheart."

"Grandma? Can you make me french toast?... Please?"

"I would love to sweetie, but Mom didn't buy any eggs."

" Aw, RATS!"

"I could make you apple pancakes.  How does that sound?"

"OK, but do you want to hear what I wrote for.... (his big brother)?

"Sure."

Lifting the paper, he read, "Super Captain C3PO Abraham Lincoln on the loose, with no hat"...(and he pointed to his drawing of Abraham Lincoln complete with a beard, but no hat...


Trying not to laugh aloud, "Oh honey, that is wonderful! He will LOVE it."

"I know.  I am going to slide it under the bedroom door so he can read it when he wakes up."

"Good idea.  Go slide it and I'll make the pancakes..."

My oldest daughter Holly, his Mom, entered the room, over hearing my last comment, "Mom, just warm him up some of the ones I  froze, please, we have to leave in a half hour.  We over slept."

They are going to Disneyland today.  My youngest daughter, Jodee and I are driving back to Vegas together.  She is going for a business trip, buying for her company at a gift show there.  Her doctor does not want her flying, but OK'd the road trip. She is staying at the Hard Rock.  Her boyfriend Jeff will drive out tomorrow, spend the night and drive her back home on Thursday.

As we gathered in the kitchen, eating, packing food, my grandson's letter was read several times. Everyone made a fuss, and of course, I had to take pictures of it. After the boys finished their pancakes, there was a flurry of hugging, kissing, and OH WAIT!! the young one had to run back inside for his DS. Finally, everyone was buckled in and on their way to Disneyland.

Jodee and I took our time and driving back, taking the opportunity to catch up with one another. Seems like it only took an hour to drive from California to Nevada. When we reached Vegas, she treated me to a nice lunch at Olive Garden. It was wonderful spending so much time together...

Saturday I met my sister at 7am for our walk through the surrounding streets of the Claremont Village. We met our group at the Coffee Bean and shared our creativity.  The topic was the superiority of the Copic Coloring Markers. Afterwards, my sister and I had pedicures and then embarked on a thrift store expedition. We found many bargains.  She introduced me to Yogurtland, which is very similar to Pink Berry. It was D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!

Jodee & Jeff's co-ed baby shower was a huge success on Sunday (thanks to her older sister Holly, who made all the food and decorations. She is so organized and did a FABULOUS job!).  Jodee was so overwhelmed emotionally from the generosity of every one's gifts, plus seeing friends she had not seen in such a long time; so Jeff opened most of the gifts, thanking everyone profusely.  He had rented a water slide for the kids.  None of the kids had met before, but all of them got along so well, playing, splashing and having lots of fun together.  It was really a great day.

                 Jeff, Jodee (Jacob in the tummy), me, and Holly

**********

Dad's CT Scan went wonderfully yesterday!  He was co-operative and held perfectly still.  No sedation required.  We should have the results in a couple of days.
Please keep the prayers going...