This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

No Room For Hatred and Evil...

My youngest brother E___ went to visit "Pops" (as he affectionately calls Dad) today.  When my brother arrived, Dad was getting his shower, so he visited with Doctor-Doctor.  She updated him on Dad and how well he is doing.

When the CNA wheeled Dad out, with his hair combed, all fresh and clean, his face lit up when his now, huge eyes saw him...

"HELLO my son!!! " He called E___ by name and told him he was a "sight for sore eyes".

My brother asked how Dad was, and Dad told him, "I am so happy!"

E___ noticed Dad had his compression stockings on with a non-skid sock over it, to protect his toes.  The CNA told my brother they could visit, then Dad would have lunch and have to lay down for awhile. As E____ wheeled Dad outside for a visit, he asked Dad why he had to lay down... 

Dad told him, "They were keeping an eye on his ticker"...

Some times, in his confusion, Dad thinks he is back at the VA Hospital in Long Beach.  He was there in the early 1970's with heart problems.  He had a heart catheterization and it scared him to death. I will never forget his face when I came to visit him. He had sheer terror in his eyes. 

When Dad came home, he swore off salt and called it "white death".  He really changed his eating habits and lifestyle.  He starting walking every day, then jogging and in at the age of 60, he entered a marathon and ran 27 miles!  I spoke with him over the phone afterward and he was hardly out of breath!  No doubt Dad added years to his life by making those life changes during that span of ten years. He continued to walk every day until he was placed in the nursing home.

I called the charge nurse to double check and make sure Dad was not having any heart problems.  She assured me the only reason they were doing regular elevation, were to help heal his wound on his pinkie toe.

E____ mentioned to Dad after their visit, Dad would be having lunch.  Dad told him he "eats them out of 'house and home', but he was not very hungry." (Dad often says this when he has a visitor, because he doesn't want the visitor to leave.)  My brother told Dad after their visit, he was going to help Mom do some things around the house.

Dad asked, "Which Mother are you going to see?"...

E____ laughed, and told Dad, "I am going to see Mom, my Mother, your wife."

We all know Dad thinks he is married to several women, which, I am sure, is his way of letting those women know how much he likes them.... Like a dark cloud coming over his face, Dad suddenly looked angry and mad, 

"Some times I have evil thoughts about your Mom..."

Without missing a beat, E___ made eye contact with Dad., getting right in front of him in front of the wheel chair...

"Pops, there is no room for hatred and evil in your life.  You have too many blessings to think that way. You have this green grass, the blue sky, and this beautiful day. You have your friends here who take such good care of you and care about you.  You have your life time friends and family.  Pops, you have God in your heart."

Dad looked thunder-struck, or as if E____ had just explained the theory of relativity....

Profusely, Dad began to thank him for telling him that...repeatedly, he thanked his son, and as quickly as the dark clouded mood came, it dissipated into the bright sunny day it was. 

"Thank you son, thank you so much E_____ for reminding me. You have wakened me from my nightmare...  I will shun the devil!"

E___ took out his cell phone and asked Dad if he would like to see some pictures and video from his recent trip to Catalina.  Dad was smiling and enthusiastic.  E___ showed him pictures of himself, his girlfriend and her son.  He showed him video of all of them doing a zip line.

Dad has cataracts, and I know it affects his vision.  One picture my brother showed Dad, was his girlfriend wearing a sun dress.  Dad commented on her bathing suit...

Afterward, Dad was content and smiling.  My brother hugged him good bye and told Dad it was time for his lunch, and he was off to help Mom.  As E_____ wheeled Dad back into the lunch room, smacking his lips, Dad said,

"I'm hungry. I could "eat a horse"....

7 comments:

Mari said...

What a nice visit, and your brother sure handled that comment well!

Betty said...

I love how your dad enjoys his food! Sounds like he´s very easy to please in this area. :)

Jeanie said...

It sounds like your brother knew how to say just what your dad needed to hear.

Rose said...

the visit went well. your brother handled this very well. rose

irishoma said...

Hi Donna,
Very touching post and good advice.
Your dad sounds like an amazing man. Running a marathon at 60?

When you get a chance hop over to my blog, I have an award for you there.

Donna V.
http://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com

That corgi :) said...

absolutely amazed your dad ran that marathon at age 60! but I think you are right in that it did add years to his life

sounds like he had a good visit with your brother; your brother has a lot tact too in responding to your dad's comments

betty

gayle said...

I am so glad your brother had such a nice visit with your dad!! I know it makes you feel so much better!!