This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Friday, August 6, 2010

Some Days It Feels Like A 500 Pound Sack Of Cement...

Mom had a great visit with Dad today. He was in bed after lunch with his feet elevated and about to nod off. Mom knew her timing was bad to come after lunch with him so tired, but he was delighted to see her. Dad seemed very concerned about world peace and would return to that subject no matter what Mom mentioned.

Dad also repeated several times how delicious the food was and how he eats everything they give him. After the third mention of wonderful food, Mom decided to go knock on the kitchen door and give them his thanks and appreciation. (Especially since Dad nodded off and began to snore...) She talked with one of the lady cooks and she was very happy to hear Dad's praise via her.

She noted the lesion on Dad's lip looks almost healed, the ear "knob" was gone (due to Dad picking it again...and it had to be bandaged).  Even his eye looked good. Mom had told him how well he looked and he told her he was feeling fine. Mom also praised him for his excellent behavior during the cat scan.

Mom spoke with Doctor-Doctor after visiting Dad, and she told Mom, Dad had asked her several times if he would be safe or if they would "hurt" him.  She assured him everything would be fine. Mom told her once again how much we appreciate her, thanked her for going with Dad in the transport and the care she gives Dad.

Mom spoke with the charge nurse, and she asked if we could buy Dad some "soft" shoes for when he is in the wheel chair. Mom told her she was under the impression the skin care nurse wanted Dad in those foam bootees all the time, and not to allow Dad to wear shoes.. The charge nurse said she thought the soft slipper/shoe would be OK. 

Two days ago, Mom and Dad were married sixty-five years.

The skin care nurse is calling me quite often, insisting we take Dad to a vascular surgeon because the wound on his left pinkie toe is not healing.  She wants us to go for a consult.  I am afraid Dad has an ulcer and it will become a weekly appointment for a Una boot.  I wish we could find a vascular surgeon who would come visit and treat Dad in the nursing home...

Each time we schedule an outside doctor appointment, I have to arrange it with the scheduler, so she can make arrangements for the transport van to take Dad, plus get a CNA (we request Doctor-Doctor) and then Mom must pay her $40 for a 3 hour minimum.  We certainly cannot ignore it, because ulcers that go untreated can lead to possible amputation.  We want to avoid that at all costs!

Dad has so many ailments and medical issues.  He has what we believe to be skin cancer lesions on his upper lip, his left temple, and on his left ear.  A few times we had a doctor examine them and when the doctor mentioned biopsy, Dad FREAKED out and just kept saying, NO! NO!! NO!!! louder and louder until I quieted him down by telling him he was NOT going to have a biopsy.

We had Dad fitted for some compression stockings over a year ago.  Because Dad has not worn them regularly, the skin care nurse told me she was "embarrassed to tell me the stockings are missing".  She has some other type stockings she has been using, but it is not the same.  The compression stockings are tighter and custom fitted to his  little skinny bird legs. We'll have to get another prescription from the vascular surgeon to get him more stockings.  Main problem with nursing homes...everybody shares and things get "misplaced".

I told the skin care nurse where to look for them, but obviously, she did not find them.  Mom could not find them either.  Mom is going to go through some of Dad's things at home, to see if she can find any of his old pairs, as a substitute, until we can get him an appointment. 

Monday, I will call Dad's former vascular surgeon and let him know what is going on with Dad.  Maybe he might know of one who would come to the nursing home.  I know he doesn't.  Guess we'll have to get Dad in for a consult and then go from there.

The activities director of the nursing home, invited Mom to the Hawaiian luau next Friday, the 13th. There will be a luncheon and entertainment. She also extended to invitation to any one else in our family who would care to come. Mom is planning on going. They are very generous that way, and do have delicious food.

I had called both the nursing home and Dad's primary care physician to see if the CT Scan results had arrived.  Both told me no.  Later tonight, I received an email from the physician, telling me Dad's results were good and his brain was recovering from the bleed.  He has returned Dad to the blood thinners.  He also told me it would be advisable to get Dad in for a consult with the vascular surgeon, because Dad's would on his little pinkie toe does not look good.

Some days it feels like a 500 pound sack of cement is riding on my shoulders....


Mari said...

Aaagh - you get one thing taken care of and before you can take a breath, you get another!
Things go missing frequently in our place too. There are the things like hearing aides, dentures and glasses that residents take off, set somewhere, or heaven forbid, through away. We've found those things wrapped in a napkin on a plate and in other cray places. Then there is clothing, which seems to get up and walk sometimes. I would love to come up with a way to ensure it stays where it's supposed to.
It was nice of your Mom to compliment the kitchen. I'm sure they appreciated it.

gayle said...

As I have said before, I know how hard this must be on you. Just know you are doing the right thing staying on top of your dad care.

Jeanie said...

I know that all that you do so willingly for you dad can also be a heavy burden in you life. It takes me back to how fortunate he is to have you and so many looking out for his well-being.

Rose said...

It's tough seeing your parent having medical needs and worrying if they are going to get better. I took care of both my parents, there's a lot of weight. the best i can say, when you look back you wil know that you have done your best. take care rose

Laoch of Chicago said...

Hang in there.

Donna Volkenannt said...

You are a brave and courageous woman. Keep on keeping on.
Donna V.