This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day....


I called Dad this morning to wish him a happy Memorial Day. The nurse told me he had a visitor. She described my sister, Holly. I called her cell and she put me on with Dad.  He sounded wonderful!
So happy, I could hear his big smile. She emailed this picture of Dad to all of us.  She took an American flag to him and attached it to the back of his wheel chair.
Dad told me it was a beautiful day and he was having a wonderful time with Holl Doll, Dad's nick name for her. I told Dad how much I loved him and I wanted to thank him for all he went through, fighting for our country. He said he was so happy and proud to be a Marine.  I told him we were proud of him as a Marine, but also very thankful he is our Dad.  He thanked me as his heart poured over with love as he expressed his love for the entire family...

He told how much he loved all the great grand children, grand children, his children and all his family and friends.  He was very PROUD, PROUD, PROUD, PROUD of his boys and girls.... When Dad says 'his boys & girls', he not only refers to his four sons and two daughters, but also his six grand sons, six grand daughters and his two and a half great grand sons.

One of his most precious possessions is a white sweatshirt with the first names of each of his twelve grand children, listed down the front in two columns. 

Dad served in the Marine Corps and was in the Second  Marine Division fighting in the Battle of Tarawa.  It is known as one of the bloodiest battles in Marine history.  None of his six children, grand kids or great grand kids would have been born had he died on that beach over those three days of constant battle.

Thank you Dad for who you are and for the untold horrors you experienced fighting for our freedom and our country. It is a happy Memorial Day, having you.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

My talented Sister...(Frame with flower)

For Mother's Day my sister Holly gave Mom and I a frame with a flower she hand made.  I have meant to take a picture of it to share with all of you.  She is going to post a video of step by step instructions on her blog tomorrow on how YOU can also make this flower.  You can glue to flower to almost anything.  I finally captured a good portrait of Izzy and put it in the frame...here it is:



See that cut little red flower? My sister made it.
You can make it in any color you wish.
Here is her blog:
(Allison Wonderland)

Go check it out...
Graduations are coming up....
Birthdays...
School is getting out....
All kinds of opportunities to use this easy, pretty flower on
something YOU can personalize and impress someone
you love and care about with ]
a hand made gift by YOU!

Friday, May 28, 2010

A man of few words...

Mom went to visit Dad.  Dad was in the dining room, finishing his lunch.  He had not finished his spaghetti and did not want anymore.  Mom helped him with his ice cream, but he stopped, telling her he had enough, because it was too cold.  She fed him his custard with no complaints and then watched him woof down a fruit plate.

She wheeled him down to the alcove and they visited for awhile.  Mom told him about her retirement luncheon, and the thank you card from his sister's granddaughter.  Mom had sent a small check for her college graduation from both of them.  Dad smiled and said it was nice.

Mom's job was abolished after fifteen and a half years.  She was in charge of attendance. She would call all the parents of the high school kids who missed classes.  She works for a second chance high school, for kids who became pregnant in school or caused trouble.  When school ends for the summer, Mom's job ceases.  I wonder who will take her place and follow up on the attendance? 
Or will they just stop checking?

Mom told Dad about her plans to do some things around the house and Dad asked, "Which house?" 
Mom repeated, "our" house.  He asked again, "Which one?"  Mom described their home by the street name. Dad asked what about his mother's home in Pasadena, where we lived when I was a child...  Mom told him that house was sold and Dad smiled and said he didn't think so.

Dad talked about his "friend" and what funny stories they told each other. Dad chuckled as he thought of it.  He started sliding down in the wheel chair and Mom asked if he was tired.  He agreed, and said he was ready for a nap. Mom told him she would put him down for a nap.  He asked her, "Where?" Mom explained she would get help to put him in his bed.

She wheeled him back to his room, stopping at the nurses station to find out who his nurse was.  Doctor-Doctor is off on Fridays, so the assigned nurse immediately helped Dad into bed.  The nurse told Mom Dad had been up since 9am. They had been helping him walk in the hallway, so he was probably tired.  Mom kissed Dad good-bye and left his room.

I finally got through to Dad later in the afternoon, around 4:15pm.  He sounded tired and weary. I asked about his visit with Mom.  He told me she looked glorious, as usual.  I was concerned about his confusion and was concerned about him not finishing two of his favorite foods...spaghetti and ice cream.  I keep wondering if that hole from the lost filling on his upper left side, will be a problem. Medi-Cal refuses to fill it.  They prefer to wait and pull it "if" it bothers him.  That is the dumbest treatment plan I have ever heard...

Dad cut our conversation off short.  He told me once again he was tired and wanted to go to sleep.
I worry about that bleed on his brain...is that why he seems to be sleeping so much? I still have
not heard back from his primary care physician....he has not answered my email or called me.  Tuesday, I will call the social worker to have an x-ray of that tooth to make sure it is not abscessed or decayed to the point of an exposed nerve; and call Dad's doctor about the monitoring.

I spoke with the charge nurse after speaking with Dad and left her a message to ask the social worker to call me, since she did not answer her page.  I also asked how often they check Dad's wander guard and she told me "daily".

Thursday, May 27, 2010

A nice day for moi...

Today, my daughters in California, went to register the younger one, at Target, for her upcoming baby shower.  Afterward, they went to see SEX AND THE CITY (part II).  After the show, they went to TGIF for lunch.  I  had called to let them know, I would see the movie here in Nevada. They are huge fans of the TV series and saw the first movie. We all looked forward to discussing it afterward, as if we had all three gone together...

I dressed up, put jewelry on and everything...and away I went.  I sat next to a couple of gals around my age, but they were not into sharing the experience with a stranger...they even talked during the movie!!  Very bad form...

I really liked the first SATC, and this one had some funny parts, maybe it is just me...but it kind of bugged me they filmed it in Abu Dhabi.  Did some Sheik put up the money for the film?  Maybe it was an excuse to spend the  reported million dollars on the clothes...Part of the mystique of the four woman is New York...and the majority of the movie was far, far, from New York...

Ran some errands after the movie and then took myself out to lunch.  I had left Izzy alone at the house for five and a half hours.  When I opened the door, there she was, wagging that curly tail and so happy to see me.

She got her new "summer do" on Tuesday, here are some pics of her...




Izzy and I had a nice walk, my husband came home early
and tonight is
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE....

Life is good...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dad's Care Conference for May 25-2010

Mom and I attended Dad's Care Conference today.  Mom in person, me, via telephone.

The DON read the list of Dad's medications.  He finished his antibiotics for the UI on 5-16-10 and finished the bacterim for the MRSA on 5-21-10.  At this particular time, Dad is off all blood thinners until further orders from Dad's doctor.

Dad has gained one pound and really LOVES ice cream.

Dad is on stool softners and laxitives for constipation. The nursing home is keeping Dad on the continued orders from his hospital admission notes. Dad takes a multi-vitamin with Iron, but the DON assured us it was not enough to cause any trouble.

Dad is anemic. Again, diagnosis from the hospital.  Did the brain bleed cause it?  The DON did not know and asked me to ask the doctor.  I will be sending an email to the doctor with my questions... I also want to know what else are they doing to monitor Dad's brain bleed?

Dad's hearing aid finally came, but they are not allowing Dad to wear it, for fear he will lose it.  They keep it locked on the nursing med cart and we can ask for it, let Dad wear it, and then return it to the cart.

They also ordered a third pair of eye glasses for Dad.  Dad has lost or given away his last two pairs, saying, "Someone needed them more than he did". We suggested getting one of those necklace things to hold the glasses around his neck.

I asked what they felt were the reasons Dad keeps getting the urinary tract infections.  The DON stated hygiene, for a possible reason.  I told her, Dad would NOT be at fault in that situation.  She also stated Dad did not drink enough water.  Again, would not the nursing home be responsible for that as well??

The nursing home staff offer water every two hours, but if Dad refuses, they move on and ask later.  They can't force him to drink. ( Every time my sister and I are there, he guzzles two cups of water for us.)

I know Dad will not ask, as he does not think of it, plus, he would think he is being a bother...
I asked if his prostate issues would contribute to the UI.  First the DON told me no, then when I explained to her that Dad's prior doctor (before he was admitted) explained to me that the enlarged prostate can put pressure on the kidneys or bladder making it more difficult to urinate, or to make him go more often.  I asked if Dad is not drinking enough water, wouldn't that complicate his problem?  The DON then agreed with me.

Overall, Dad is healing well and quickly from the cuts and abrasions from his fall.


With all Dad's medical issues, and this recent fall, we decided Mom and my second to the oldest brother K___, (who is the Executor) need to review the DNR paperwork.  We all agreed it is better to get that order straightened out now, rather than in the midst of an emotionally difficult situation. 

Hopefully, Dad's doctor will answer my email questions soon...

                                                     ***********************

I found out today I won a give away on Jenny Matlock's blog at http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/.  I won a really cool french white, casserole dish with a cooling rack and handle.

I also found out I won a drawing at our former Realtor's office for a $50 gift certificate at Tuscany Grill, a nice Italian restaurant in Henderson, NV.

I feel so lucky!! :}

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Bellagio Conservatory Spring Exhibit & Flamingo Habitat....

Yesterday, my hubby and I went to visit the Bellagio Conservatory and the Flamingo Habitat at the Flamingo Hotel/Casino.

Here are some my photographs from the Spring Exhibit at the Bellagio:

These bronze ant sculptures were done by Artist Susan P. Cochran to reprsent the ideals of cooperation and teamwork.  In some of the photos, you can see how it gives one the sense of seeing the garden from an ant's perspective.


An ant carrying a seed in front of an over turned flower pot with the hand shovel stuck into the earth.

The suspended water sphere is always interesting to photograph.



The under belly of a made made of flowers and huge, towering flowers...again, from the ant's perspective.


A ladybug made of flowers



Two ants communicating under some toad stools....



You can get an idea of the perspection from the child to the right of the tree and butterfly...

A cascading waterfall from the leaves...


A snail traveling past the ant conversation under the toad stools...


A bee ready to pollinate a flower...
Better angle for the bee...


Some red bromeliads...

These are my photos taken at the Flamingo Habitat at the Flamingo Hotel

How can they stand on those spindly legs?


Beautiful water falls....


Huge Koi fish and do you see the turtle?



Ducks....



Can you find the Bird in this photo?


More peaceful water falls....



It was a wonderful windy, brisk day with sprinkles of rain.  The air smelled of fresh rain and the mountains popped out against the turquoise skies...

Today I am grateful and happy.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Singing Sombreros....

My sister visited Dad.  He is still wearing his sombrero.  Maybe Doctor-Doctor gave it to him?  Dad was in his wheel chair, in the activity room, getting ready to sing church songs.  She took him outside on the patio to enjoy the strawberry shake she had bought him.

It was a beautiful, blustery day.  My sister said it had rained last night and some this morning.  The sky was an incredible blue with lots of fluffy clouds.  Dad had shorts on and with the cold strawberry shake, he was chilled.  Doctor-Doctor came out to say hi, and when she saw Dad she quickly ran back inside to get him a blanket.

Here is a picture of Dad and his Angel, Doctor-Doctor.  Look how well Dad looks!!  He is just flat out amazing how quickly he heals!!!



He had his sombrero and mask on, but it was OK to take it off once he was on the patio.  Dad laughed heartily every time Doctor-Doctor rolled her "R's" and said, "Mariachi" to him. 
She really brightens his day and it is so easy to see her genuine affection for him.

Dad began to spin a story of how he had played a round of golf with his "ladies" and how he blasted a ball with a 5 iron, getting a hole in one.  He boasted how his score was so much better than everyone else.  My sister listened intently, smiling with joy and so grateful he seems back to his happy self...

Dad heard everyone singing and wanted to return so he could join them in song. My sister wheeled him back in and kissed him good bye.  She hugged him big enough for the entire family
and told him how much everyone loves him.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Crooked fingers and all...

My second to the oldest brother and Mom went to visit Dad this afternoon.  Dad was asleep.  They woke him, but it took him some time to rally.  He thought my brother was my youngest brother...I trust his confusion is the fluid on the brain.  I plan to call the doctor and ask if they are monitoring the fluid in any way...

They could not believe how fast Dad is healing.  His face and hands look great!  I hope one of them took a picture of Dad so we can all see how well he is doing...Dad had one of the face masks on.  Mom hates them.  When we had to wear them when we visited him in the hospital, Mom kept going out of the room, and pulling it down, so her nose could pop out.  She has horrible claustrophobia.  Today is suppose to be the last day of his treatments for the staph infection.

The CNA came in to help get Dad in his wheel chair.  When she wheeled him out to Mom and my brother, Dad was sporting a big sombrero.  Dad seemed to enjoy the attention he got from wearing the sombrero and his mask.  He got a kick out of it. 

Later, while they were all talking in a visiting area, Dad suddenly grabbed the sombrero off his head and told them to "Get this damn thing off!".

Dad began rambling about something, but between his soft, garbled voice behind the mask, they did not really understand, but nodded in agreement.  My brother asked Dad if he would promise to not go outside any more.  Dad told him he had learned his lesson and promised he would stay inside.

They noticed Dad's crooked fingers.  All of us seem to have them. Dad and I have the same crooked middle finger on our right hand.  When my husband and I visited Dad the last time, Dad was belly laughin' himself silly with our crooked fingers and my husband's "excellent fingers".

Mom and my brother wondered if our brother in Ohio has arthritis in his fingers too...Mom said she would check when she goes to visit him and his family next month.  Mom thought the two youngest brothers don't have any trouble with their fingers....yet.

Mom said she found it difficult not sharing family news with Dad.  I don't know why she feels like that.  I share everything with Dad.  Some times it registers, some times not.

They both felt it was a good visit and were so pleased to see how fast he is healing...crooked fingers and all...

Friday, May 21, 2010

It was a nice thought while it lasted...

Well... those people came to look at our house yesterday.  For starters, the Realtor was lost and while I was on the phone giving her directions, the woman and her husband were knocking on our front door...A HALF HOUR EARLY!! 

They were kind of pushy.  The man kept trying to pet Izzy and I politely explained she is afraid of men.  He kept at it.  I reminded him she was rescued and had been abused.  Still kept it up.  She barked at him and I did not correct her.  THE IDIOT!

He sat himself down like we were loving relatives and made himself at home.  The woman has a sister in Pennsylvania.  The couple live in our community (bought a resale) and have the same model we do.  She went on and on how beautiful their house is, and the view they have of the Strip from their front door...GREAT!  I told her I was happy for them.

The Realtor started in on how the prices are dropping... I know that is BS due to our appraisal.  The lady asked if we wanted to sell, and I said, "If the price is right.  We are holding FIRM on our price."  There are only three of our models for sale right now.  The realtor had told me they wanted ours.

They gave me the third degree about the neighbors and everything and anything they could think of.  I kept wondering if they wanted to stay for dinner!!!

Finally, they left.  I received no phone call from the Realtor, so I doubt they are serious about buying.  I am sure the other models available are lower than we are.

I had called the retirement community in Hemet, CA, where we were considering moving before, in the morning before they came over.  Ironically, the home and lot we liked, is still available.  In fact the home next to it was sold, so they are building the one we liked on spec.  "IF" we wanted it...we have until June 10th to make our changes...They still have the incentives they had last month....but their HOA is over three times the amount of the one we pay now, because they have a third less homes in their community. They have also increased the price of the house.

We sign the final papers for our Reverse Mortgage this afternoon at 4:30pm.  I asked my husband if we should call the Realtor...and delay doing the Reverse Mortgage.  He doubts their interest from what I told him. They did not compliment the house, only the landscaping. He said if they want to buy it, we will up the price to absorb the fees for the Reverse Mortgage. So for now...that is that...

                                                        ***********

Finally was able to speak with Dad.  I had them wake him up from his nap.  He sounded very, very garbled.  I keep wondering if that is from the bleed on his brain...He sounded tired.  He complained of his "internal problems", telling me he was not too happy about it.  I know what he meant.  He really hates the incontinence.  I can't blame him.  I would hate it too. I reminded him what he always used to tell me, to think positive...look for all the positives you can find..

I am pretty sure Doctor-Doctor is off today.  She was off last Friday when he returned to the nursing home. So, I told him he could look forward to seeing her tomorrow.  He told me he knew I was right and he is trying, but it is so difficult...  

My heart aches for him. Talk about an exercise in humility...

He said he was sleepy, and he sounded like he was drifting off to sleep.  I asked if he wanted me to let him rest before dinner, and he told me he thought he better...

I told him I loved him and I prayed for him every day.  He called me honey and dear, telling me he loved me too...rest well little Papa...rest well...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

On the mend...

Dad is gaining some strength back with his physical therapy.  He is back in the wheel chair and going to the dining room for meals.  I am so proud of him!

Having another one of those days where every time I call, he is in getting cleaned up, napping or eating...don't really want to talk to him later in the day, due to his Sundowners syndrome...

Just very happy he is making such great progress and is on the mend...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Updates and stirring the pot...again.

The nurse at the nursing home called me today as promised.  She checked with Dad's primary physician and he told her Dad had two chest x-rays prior to his discharge from the hospital and all was clear.  The doctor said Dad does not have pneumonia... great news.

Had a nice lunch at Macaroni Grill with my girlfriend.  We checked out TJ Max and Ross.  I bought three outfits for my newest grand son, soon to arrive toward the end of September.

I spoke with my eldest daughter this morning about the co-ed baby shower she is planning for her sister in August.  She is extremely capable and can handle it completely by herself, but that does not make me feel any less needed.  I will contribute financially to make it happen, bring gifts and attend...but I would much prefer to be there in the planning stages.

I found myself fast forwarding into the future after he is born... When my daughters will get together with their families for weekend barbecues...and I will be listening to the laughter on the other end of the telephone...

I hate it when I doubt myself.  Are we doing the right thing with this Reverse Mortgage... What if the housing market stays the way it is?  What if we still can't sell our home without giving it away in two years to three years?  These are very difficult times.  As my husband is always saying, "It all comes down to money..."
Why do I do this?  Why am I constantly second guessing myself?

I came home and there was a message on our machine from a Realtor.  She had a client interested in our home.  I called her to let her know we had taken the house off the market.  I was surprised when she explained she knew it was off the market, but her client is a sister to a woman who lives in my community.  She had sent our Internet pictures to the sister, who anxiously wants to live closer to her.  The Realtor asked if we would consider letting her see our home.

Course my husband nearly dropped the phone when I asked what he thought....

"YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY WOMAN!"

He just gets settled into not getting the new house in Hemet, CA and staying here...and then I stir the pot again...

Monday, May 17, 2010

A little of this, a little of that...

On my way to get my hair done this morning, my doctor called and informed me I tested negative on the MRSA swab.  HOO-RAY!!

Our Reverse Mortgage Specialist called shortly after I got home and reported our home appraisal came in $10,000 more than what we had hoped for. Thank you all so very much for all your positive thoughts and prayers.

He needed me to provide some additional paperwork.  I loaded up Izzy in the car and took it over to him.

Unfortunately, the nurse I had spoken with on Sunday about leaving a note for Dad's doctor to check him for pneumonia, did not ask the doctor.  When I called, after not hearing from her, I was told by the other charge nurse, no such note was on Dad's chart.  She explained the other nurse had left for the day.  She apologized and promised she would make sure a note and phone call would be made to Dad's doctor.

I did not connect with Dad today either...he was sleeping or eating the two times I called.  Both phone calls, I was assured Dad was doing very well.  Dad's spirit constantly amazes me.  For me, he has always been a man of calm strength.

Today was over cast and very windy.  This year has had the strongest winds. in the close to five years, living here.  The winds howled, causing Izzy to growl and investigate the various noises from the winds through the house....

By 5:30pm  I could not keep my eyes open and laid down on the couch for a quick "cat nap".  I awoke at 9pm.  My dear husband had already cooked dinner for us, keeping my dinner warm in the microwave.  What a lucky woman I am.

As I was eating my delicious dinner, the charge nurse I spoke with at 5pm, told me she had called the other nurse and again, wanted to assure me, the doctor would be called tomorrow. 

I know we can never catch up on sleep we lose....but I feel so much better than I did a week ago...

Tomorrow my girlfriend and I have a lunch date and will do a little shopping.  I'm looking forward to it...

Can you believe Evan's dancing tonight on Dancing with the Stars!!!???  WOW!!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Pretty impressive for an 89 year old, even if he keeps telling us he is 98....



My sister went to visit Dad today.  I did not post how he looked 10 days ago after he fell... But trust me, it was too graphic to show!  We are all totally amazed at how quickly he is healing!  In the ER, his entire upper lip was swollen and you could not see the bottom of his nose, where the nostrils are divided.  He looks so good!

When she first arrived, Dad was getting a sponge bath and a shave. Dad's bruises are starting to turn yellow. Dad was so happy to see her.  He is still too weak to get out of bed, so she sat on the edge of his bed during their visit.

She asked him again if he could remember how he fell.  Immediately, he told her he was running and he fell flat on his face.  He did not remember anything else. He has consistently told us this story, and it seems to piece together within the time line, so that is probably what happened.  He most likely saw the lights from the Jack n the Box across the street and began to run for some ice cream.

My sister observed he shut his eyes a lot.  She was massaging and rubbing his arm and hands, so she thought he had drifted off to sleep...then, suddenly, Dad's eyes would open wide and he would say her name with exuberance.

He told her how good it was to be back with Doctor-Doctor and all his other friends.  The juice girl came by with her little cart and asked Dad if he would like some Lemonade.  "SURE! I WOULD LOVE SOME GOOD TASTING DRINKS!", Dad blurted out.  My sister watched him drain the first one and went to get him a second, which he drained in short order.

Dad told her how much he loves ice cream, and she reminded him there is a note on his food chart that says just that.  Dad smiled.  He asked her if he had been on a ship....and she told him maybe he had dreamed of it.  He asked if he had been in Chicago.  Dad was born in Chicago.  She said he seemed confused at times and very coherent.

Dad thanked my sister for coming.  She assured him the entire family sent their love, are happy he is healing and doing so much better.  Bless his heart.  Pretty impressive for an 89 year old...even if he keeps telling us he is 98.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Ice cream and War memories...

Mom went to visit Dad this morning.  Apparently Doctor Doctor had tried to give Dad a shower, but he was too weak and could not stand.  The physical therapist evaluated Dad and will set up some gentle exercise to rebuild his strength. 

Several of the familiar staff, who are so good with Dad, came by to visit with Mom and welcome Dad back home.  They have changed Dad's room to one closer to the nursing station.  He has an updated wrist alarm which will be checked monthly.  He will have the padded floor alarm around his bed, so if he gets up, an alarm will sound.

One of Dad's male CNA's, who is so sweet and kind with Dad, brought him some vanilla ice cream.  One visit, while my brother was just about to walk into Dad's room, he watched as this particular CNA gently fed Dad as if Dad was his own Father...My brother stood and observed, silently appreciating the tenderness of care he gave to our Father...

Mom said Dad had a cough.  Hopefully, it is nothing serious.  When I call back later on today, I will ask.  Last May, before he was admitted, he got pneumonia from lying around convalescing from his leg ulcers...

Mom said he looked a lot better and most of his wounds have scabbed over well..  She took some pictures of him with her camera.

Dad told Mom he had a brother named Don. Dad was named after an Uncle Don.  He had no brothers, just four sisters.  Dad named all his sisters except his youngest sister who passed away almost two years ago. Mom helped him with a hint, telling Dad his youngest sister had the same name as their family yacht.  Dad smiled and said, "Jessie Mae".

Dad began reminiscing his memories sailing with his uncle and father.  The uncle had made an impression on Dad when he told Dad, to "HIT THE DECK".  Dad then related how during the Battle of Tarawa, when Dad heard a missile whistling toward him and the other Marines, while they were digging fox holes. Dad yelled, "HIT THE DECK" and saved all their lives as they all dove deep into their holes in the sand.

My grandfather was an inventor. Dad remembered a fire  in his Dad's shop.  Dad watched as his Father quickly threw hand fulls of sand and put out the fire.  Dad used that vivid memory to put out flames near the gasoline drums near the fox holes.  Dad knew the fire from the missile explosion, would cause the drums to explode.  Dad ordered  the men around him to help scoop sand from the beach onto the hissing drums and fire.  They successfully extinguished the fire.

Dad closed his eyes and began to dose.  Mom asked if he would like to take a cat nap before his lunch.  Dad opened an eye and told her he hopes he gets more ice cream on his lunch tray...Mom said she would make sure of it...

Friday, May 14, 2010

May God continue to Bless you and keep you safe....

Last night, a Neuro Surgeon called me after reviewing Dad's 2nd CT Scan.  He explained Dad had fluid on the brain (subdural hydroma).  He proposed drilling a hole in Dad's skull, under general anesthesia, to release the fluid on the surface of Dad's brain....

Its very difficult to think clearly when my heart was beating so loudly, I could barely hear myself talk....

I knew Dad was not in pain.  I have been calling twice a day talking to him or his nurses.  I asked the Doctor what would happen if we did not do the surgery.  He told me Dad would most likely be sleepy or more demented.  It may or may not resolve itself.  I told him I would discuss it with my family, but I was almost certain we would not want to put Dad through brain surgery.

Dad used to forbid us to even say the word "dementia" in his presence, let alone admit he had it.  He was convinced, it would mean "exploring his brain" or "using him for experiments".  Dad used to be a Volunteer Chaplain in both hospitals and nursing homes for over 15 years.  He is well schooled in patient rights. He would want to know why a Neuro Surgeon was seeing him!  He would have to go kicking and screaming against his will to have brain surgery.

I emailed the family and talked with one of my brothers and my sister over the phone.  We all agreed to not do the surgery.  As long as he is not in pain, we will not put Dad through it.  We would rather lose him from complications from the fall, than watching him go further down the dead end road of Alzheimer's.

I spoke with the Neuro Surgeon again this morning.  I needed the reassurance, once again, that if we did nothing, Dad would not be in pain.  He gave me that reassurance.  I explained the results of our discussion and he was very understanding.  He said he would put a note of our conversation in Dad's chart.  He further told me it would be up to Dad's primary care physician to determine when Dad was well enough to return to the nursing home.

I have tried twice to speak with Dad this morning.  Our last conversation  on Wednesday, when they were going to do the CT Scan, his voice was very garbled.  Probably from the huge scab covering the opening of his nostrils. He talked non-stop.  I could tell he was scared.  Each time I called he was getting a bath or sleeping.  The nurse said to try again in a half hour, when he will be eating his lunch.  Happily, Dad's appetite has returned.

I feel like a raw, exposed nerve ending.  Very sleep deprived and tense.  I am so tired, but when I lie down to rest, my mind flashes all my worries and fears regarding Dad.  I can't help but not feel how he must feel.  I hate he is alone in that hospital.  I wish I could have stayed longer to be with him...

Even now, as I write, I can barely see to type.  My eyes seem to always well with tears when I think of or just utter the word, Dad...

It is so very sad how, after all my Dad has been through, his life has come to this... I cannot imagine being in my Dad's position.  We want to protect him, but we cannot take care of him.  I don't know if I will ever be able to shake that guilt from my psyche.

Despite our familie's belief, that family comes first, life and the economy get in the mix, and we are forced to work long hours, live further away, and keep continuously spinning the hub of the wheels of our own individual families.  My heart goes out to every family member out there, who must fight each day to keep their loved ones safe, protected and fed.

Dad's primary care doctor just called.  After one week in the hospital, from his terrible fall last Friday, he is transferring Dad back to the nursing home this afternoon...back to Dad's Angel, Doctor-Doctor.  Dad sounded so excited and happy.  He told me how well everyone treated him....

Daddy, you are such a gentle spirit.  So loving, so caring.  All the goodness that you have shown over the years in being played forward to you now...May God continue to Bless you and keep you safe.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Updates and many thanks...

Spoke with Dad this morning.  His voice sounded very garbled.  He thinks he has dysentary.  He told me he was having a CT Scan.  I spoke with the nurse and she said if Dad's brain bleed is not any bigger, Dad might be released back to the nursing home tomorrow...

Went to my primary care doctor today for a nurse visit.  She swabbed my nose for the MRSA. My doctor called me last night and told me the receptionist was wrong, he would do the test for me.  They did not even charge me for it!  I should have the results in 48-72 hours, but I am sure I am fine.


I wanted to thank each and every one of all of my blogging friends for all your kind words, prayers, support, and concern for Dad and our family.  Words cannot adequately express how much it means to me.  God Bless each and every one of you.  I consider myself so very fortunate for meeting all of you.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Back to Nevada...

I left Mom's house at 9am.  On the road I called the hospital to check on Dad.  The nurse told me Doctor Doctor had some in to visit Dad.  After that, Dad was so happy, he told all the nurses he would take care of each and every one of them financially.  They all enjoyed that and said he was so sweet when he took his medications...God Bless Doctor Doctor...

I called my brothers and told them we need to take up a collection of money to give to her.  She has gone far beyond the extra mile in helping out with Dad.

I stopped in Baker and enjoyed a Bob's Big Boy burger, french fries and a side of blue cheese.  Aahhhhh, delicious! 

When I stopped at the Vets to pick up Izzy, she came out, saw me, and began dancing on her hind feet and begging with her paws for me to pick her up.  Oh what a wonderful licking I received!  We were both so happy to see one another!!!  I missed her so much.

I am so exhausted, I think I could sleep for two days straight...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Getting some answers...

At 8am I was on the phone calling the nursing home.  I was told the Director of Nursing was in a meeting and to call back at 9am...

We had all decided we would converge on the nursing home at noon (brothers had to get off from work) regardless of whether they agreed or not, but I planned on started off being nice and respectful.  Mom left for work and I got dressed and prepared myself for battle...

Their meeting went on a half an hour later (no doubt discussing Dad's fall) but at 9:30am, I finally spoke with the Director.  She said she would check with the Administrator and call me right back.  Within five minutes she called back telling me noon would be fine for a meeting.

All six of us met out front.  My sister and I showed everyone, what looked like blood spots, we  had found on Saturday on the sidewalk and all wondered if Dad would have gotten that far... It was almost to the corner of a busy street.  Jack and the Box was across the street.  We all shuttered and were so grateful Dad had not tried to cross that street.

The meeting went well with the Administrator and the Director of Nursing.  We discovered the following facts:

Dad had been changed at 4:45am and wanted to get up.  The CNA told him it was still too early and he should go back to sleep.  The CNA went on her rounds to check other presidents...


Dad left his room at 4:56am in his night gown and foam ankle skin protectors.  Walking in those outside on rough sidewalk could have helped contribute to his fall.


At that early hour there were only about 8 staff members on duty and were all busy tending to various residents and dispensing medications. That is how he walked past two nursing stations without notice.


The alarm on the security door did not go off, because Dad had an expired wrist alarm on his arm.  He has not tried to escape in almost a year, so it was not a priority.  NOW IT WILL BE!  His Wander Guard wrist bracelet will be checked weekly. Once the alarm goes off, each nurse and CNA is equipped with a warning buzzer that alerts them on which resident has set off the alarm.


Once Dad walked out the front door, it locks.  He would have had to knock or ring the bell, which of course he did not know to do.


None of the family had seen Dad walk in over six months.  He has always been in a wheel chair.  When we viewed the security video, we all sat with our mouths dropped open, watching Dad walk purposely down the deserted hallways and out the front door.


Once outside in the dark, he walked a few steps and then stopped like he was confused.  He turned and walked back toward the front door.  We could see car lights pass in the residential street in front of the nursing home.  As the car passed, Dad turned and went toward the direction of the car.  Dad walked out of the view of the camera...


A housekeeper for the nursing home, on her way to work at approximately 5:02am, found Dad  laying prone on his left side, on the side walk, slightly north of the front of the nursing home, with his head facing toward the Jack n the Box.


The housekeeper ran inside and got nurses who rushed outside to tend to Dad and to get him evacuated to the hospital, calling 911.  The nurses said they wiped away most of the blood with paper towels and possibly the sprinklers washed the rest away.


The Paramedic report stated they began to treat Dad at 5:20am.


The security cameras only record movement, apparently they can get a weeks worth of recording, instead of only a few days if it recorded non stop.  If Dad walked and stopped, the camera would go on and off.  I wanted to see it a couple of times to check the times as I immediately thought of them editing it to hide something...

One of my brothers worked security and he assured me the tapes look that way on this type of camera.

We all could not believe Dad sustained the extensive cuts and abrasions he received from one fall.  We have no way of knowing if he fell once, tried to get up and then fell again, or if he was hit by a slow moving car, or if someone encountered him and wrestled with him, throwing him to the ground...

Maybe he went into the street toward the car for help and coming back to the sidewalk, tripped on the curb and fell.  Regardless, it is a miracle he was not more seriously injured.  He could have broken bones, required stitches, broken teeth, broken his neck...oh God, we have so much to be grateful for.  Thank God that housekeeper found him!

The Administrator apologized profusely and assured us Dad would be fitted with a new alarm, it would check it regularly, and he would be monitored much more closely.  He assured us he would normally have a complete written investigative report, but since it happened Friday, they were still gathering all the facts.  He took my email to email the final report to me.

After the meeting, we decided we would all (except for my sister, who had to return to work) would go to our family favorite, Taco Ready for lunch.  We spent the next three hours eating, talking, reminiscing and laughing.  Lots of laughter.  We talked of investigating getting a beach house for a week and all the family getting together.  I am going to look into it.

When we finished inside, we stood outside in the parking lot for another hour listening to my brothers brain storm on various business they could start together.

I called the hospital to check on Dad.  The nurse told me he was yelling his head off.  I could hear him in the back ground. I asked to speak to him.  When he came on the line I could tell he had not taken his meds.  He was slurring his words and telling me I would be sorry if I did not get him out of that hospital RIGHT NOW!  I could not help smiling, thinking he was feeling much better.

I let him rant and rave for a few minutes and then asked if would like some ice cream.  He did.  I asked him to give the phone back to the nurse so I could tell her what he likes.  When the nurse returned to the phone, I gave her a list of some of Dad's favorite foods.  I told her to tell Dad Doctor Doctor called and said to tell him,
 "Papa Palapa, I am watching you.  You better eat your food and take your medicines so you can come back to see me."

I explained how important she is to him and Dad would listen to her.  Doctor Doctor had come Sunday to visit him, so I knew he probably missed her.  She thanked me and I told her I would check back later on to see how he was doing.

Mom and I finally left them and returned to her house to work on sorting and cleaning out her office.  A little before 8pm we drove to In and Out (another family favorite) to go, for dinner, returning just in time to watch Dancing With The Stars.  Mom was asleep before the second set of dancers...

I called back to check on Dad and the nurse happily reported what I had suggested worked!  He had taken his medicine, ate some dinner and was resting comfortably....  Sleep tight Daddy...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day and a great visit with Dad...

Mom wanted to attend first service for church, since we were meeting my sister and niece for our annual lunch at Chili's and movie.  I was so tired I could hardly focus, but pulled myself together in less than 15 minutes and went to church with Mom.

After church we went out for oatmeal, my treat.  Just something light before lunch.  Got back to her house and I gave her texting lessons.  My sister and I keep teaching her...hopefully, this time, it will stick.  I helped her with her GMail and got those questions answered.

Having pre-bought the show tickets the night before, we drove to Chili's and met my sister and her daughter.  We enjoyed a wonderful lunch and exchanged gifts and cards.  My sister was so creative (as usual) and made frames for both Mom and I.  She also took some of those extra soft comfy socks and swirled them inside a cute pink and white Happy Mother's Day muffin sized baking cup, making it look like an pink iced cupcake.  She made us rice packs which are good for heat or cold.  Mine had hearts and a little dog that looked like Izzy...(I would post a pic, but I am still too tired and so far behind in my blog...maybe she will post pics on her blog....HINT HINT my sister....)

We had some extra time after lunch before the show started, so we went into Barnes and Noble.  I bought the May/June WRITER'S DIGEST magazine and it is packed full of great articles...My sister and niece went into Old Navy...

We really enjoyed LETTERS TO JULIET.  I LOVE anything to do with Italy, but it was a darling movie.  The young male actor reminded me so much of Heath Ledger.  I miss Heath. 

Afterward, Mom and I went to visit Dad in ICU. Mom and I had to dawn our masks, gloves and blue plastic robes.  We put them over us, keeping our purses over our shoulders.  We each cracked up at one another as we looked like blow up Michelin Men. Dad looked so much better, even his upper lip was not as swollen.  He was much easier to understand when he spoke to us.  His nurse told us last night he had not been putting out any urine and his blood pressure was very low.  They increased fluids through his IV and he had done much better today.

He told us we were "life savers" for coming to visit.  I fed him two cups of chocolate ice cream and he drank an entire large cup of water through a straw.  I noticed he could lift his head up and not recoil in pain and hold his neck like he did Friday in the ER.  That's awful fast healing for a 89 year old!!!

The nurse told us Dad was a delight and was no trouble at all.  Dad told us he wanted to marry her.  We all laughed.  We told her he will not ask for anything, so please ask if he is hungry, warm enough etc.  I shared with her what his favorite snacks were.  Dad told me he had been cold last night, so we got him another blanket and put it on him and got him all cozy.

We told Dad to rest, take his meds and follow his instructions so he could get better and return to Doctor-Doctor.  He promised he would.

I told him how lucky he was he did not break any bones. Dad agreed. I asked him again what had happened. He told me he was trying to get in the wheel chair. When I asked how he got outside, he said, "Oh yeah, I wanted to go get some ice cream. " I asked if he was walking too fast and he told me, "NO! I was running!" He told me, "I fell hard in the street" and then winced, like he remembered it...

I reminded Dad it was Mother's Day so he sang Happy Mother's Day to each of us.  He took Mom's hand and kissed it.  We threw kisses, which seem so sterile with all the protective garb we have to wear...and he threw a return kiss to each of us.

On the way back to Mom's, we stopped at Marie Callender's for soup, corn bread and a slice of pie to go.  Got home just in time to watch  Amazing Race....

First thing Monday morning, I am calling the nursing home and requesting a meeting at noon.  My three brothers from California, my sister, Mom and I want to get more answers and find out how this happened and more importantly, that it WILL NOT happen again!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Investigations and checking on Dad...

My sister and I took an early morning walk to relieve stress and talk.  We all want answers as to how Dad got so banged up. My sister can not believe Dad walked out on his own.  She has not seen him walk for over 6 months.  He is always in his wheel chair.  One time she helped him into bed and he almost fell just doing a slow, two step shuffle from the wheel chair to his bed.

We met a friend for coffee and brought our lap tops.  I am so behind in my blog and wanted to at least get some thoughts and facts down from yesterday's ER visit...

My sister and I decided to go to the nursing home and see if there was any tell tale signs of his fall.  We suspected he may have fallen by a slump stone planter in front of the building...  Unfortunately, there was no blood or it had been washed away.  We walked in both directions from the entrance of the nursing home and found something that looked like blood drops, almost to the corner near a busy street.  But we are only guessing.

When we went inside and asked the nurses, one male nurse got Dad's chart and told us he had not been there in 3 days.  He started to read aloud the events from May 7th and then began to whisper inaudibly, so we could not hear.  He summarized, telling us he had been found on the ground with abrasions and lacerations to his head and face.

We corrected him, telling him we had seen the paramedic report and Dad had been found outside the building.  I had taken pictures of Dad with my cell phone.  I showed him one of the pictures.  He recoiled and apologized profusely.

Doctor-Doctor came around the corner and hugged us.  She told us she would get someone to call the person who had found Dad. While they were gathered around the phone and talking, the gentleman who had tried to "sugar coat" the report, came out and asked for us to send the pic of Dad to the phone number he handed us.  My sister sent the picture.

When we looked over to the desk where the girls were all gathered, no one was there... Since the Administrator or the Director of Nursing were not there on the weekend, we began to formulate a plan to go call a meeting on Monday...

We went to the hospital and visited Dad in the CCU.  When we checked in at the nursing station, we were told Dad tested positive for MRSA (Methycillin Resistance Aureus ),  Basically, it is a staphylococcus and is resistant to some antibiotics.  Bactroban ointment is applied inside the nostrils.  Apparently it is quite common in nursing homes...

My sister and I had to put on gloves, masks and gowns to visit Dad.  We tried to wake him, but it was clear he was very exhausted.  He hardly slept a wink yesterday in the ER.  We decided to let him rest and left.

Since I was closest to Dad in the ER, kissing him, assisting in wiping and touching his blood, holding his hands and getting close to him to hear what he was trying to say...I may have been exposed to it.  When I told my daughter with my two grand sons, she and I both felt it would not be worth the chance of me visiting, and then the boys getting sick.  I was so disappointed.... I will have to go see my physician when I return and get swabbed and tested for it.

I left my sister's after we ate lunch, and drove to Mom's.  We had plans to go out to dinner.  Shortly after I arrived, my youngest brother, his girlfriend and her son arrived.  They wanted to visit Dad.  We offered to watch her six year old son, since he would not be allowed to visit.

Dad was emotional seeing them and thanked them for coming.  He was still very confused.  Both of them could not believe how badly Dad was hurt.  He really looked like he had been in a fight...or fell repeatedly on the ground...

We invited my niece to join us for a late dinner.  We wanted to buy our tickets for a special preview of Letters to Juliet for Mother's Day.

It was almost 11pm by the time we got home...both Mom and I fell asleep on the couch trying to watch TV...better catch some z's before tomorrow.

Friday, May 7, 2010

This can not be happening...


At 5:51am my cell phone rang.  My youngest daughter was sleeping on the couch because my snoring kept waking her.  The call woke her up again.  It was the nursing home.  The message said Dad had another fall, was found on the ground, had some cuts/lacerations and taken by ambulance to the ER.

I assumed Dad had fallen from his bed or wheel chair again.  I called the nursing home. I was told again, Dad was found on the ground, was conscious and responsive and sent to the ER. I asked if he had the padded alarms on the floor around his bed and was told he did.

I called the hospital and spoke with the ER nurse.  Dad had just arrived. She said Dad might need stitches. They planned on doing a CT Scan and x-rays.  I told her under NO CIRCUMSTANCES did we want him sedated for the CT Scan.  I explained he had Dementia/Alzheimer's.   I gave her my cell phone number and told her I was on my way.

I got on the Internet and familiarized myself with the route to the hospital.  While I was getting dressed, the ER doctor called inquiring why we did not want Dad sedated.  I explained my mother in law had been sedated for a CT SCAN and became a zombie, never recovered, went down hill and died shortly after. He told me his name and I assured him I would get there as soon as I could.

I called Mom and She had received a call from the nursing home too.  She had a 9am appointment with the bank regarding the Medi-Cal requirements.  She told me she would meet me at the hospital as soon as she was done.

Being sleep deprived and emotionally preoccupied, I got lost, but arrived in the ER by 8:30am, thanks to the navigating skills of my eldest daughter directing me on my cell.

Walking into the ER, I was unprepared for what I saw.  Dad's nose and upper lip were swollen and bloody. I could not even see the separation between his nostrils. The skin on the bridge of his nose, temples, shoulders, knees were raw as if he had scraped away several layers of skin. He looked like he was in a head on auto crash!  I did not want him to see the horror on my face, so I gathered my composure and joked with him, asking if he was chasing pretty women again...

We could barely understand Dad when he tried to speak.  His upper lip was so swollen and difficult for him to form words.  I could not believe he did not chip any teeth!  He babbled in response, but I could only make out a few words.  He could not tell us what happened...

HOW IN THE HECK DID HE GET THIS BEAT UP FALLING OUT OF BED?  HE LOOKED LIKE HE TICKED OFF MIKE TYSON!


He looked like he fell face first. Blood pooled in both eyes and ran down his neck from his ears. Skin was raw and scraped from his temples and cheek.  I could see cuts on the side of his nose.   He had assorted cuts on his face and fingers.  His fingers and hands were swollen and bruised...

A male and female in navy scrubs were cleaning the blood off Dad's face.  There was a lot of blood.  I kept telling myself the face has tons of capillaries and always bleeds a lot... He had a cervical collar on his neck and kept complaining to me about the back of his head hurting. Dad does not complain. Not knowing how hard he hit his head, I just told him it was the collar he had on, and after they checked the x-rays, they would take it off...

I asked the attending nurse and doctor if they were told how it happened.  Did he fall on his wheel chair?  Did he fall out of bed on his face?  What the HELL happened?  The nurse took me aside showing me the Paramedics report:  Patient found outside of nursing home on sidewalk, laying on his left side at 5:20am.

WHAT?


She explained the nursing home said he had escaped....

I could not speak....


I was in shock.  I excused myself and asked for the nearest phone. I had to raise some hell... I called the nursing home and asked for the Director of Nursing.  She had just come into work and did not know what had happened.  I told her Dad looked like he had been in a head on auto accident!  She told me she was looking into what happened and to please call her back.

As I walked back to Dad's bedside in the ER, a doctor walked up to me and introduced himself to me as the doctor I had spoken with this morning. He told me they were waiting for the results of the x-rays but the CT Scan had showed a subdural hematoma on his brain.  He told me so far, it was a slow, small bleed and they would stop Dad's blood thinners and give him platelets, to aid in clotting.  He told me they would check him hourly for neurological damage and concussion.  If the bleed increases, he told me they would have to contact a neurosurgeon to cut his brain open to relieve the pressure.

I pivoted around and went back to the wall phone.  The operator told me the Director of Nursing was in a meeting.  I asked for the Administrator... same thing, in a meeting.  I told the operator THIS IS IMPORTANT, and told her who I was and it was regarding my father.  She told me to hold on, and then the Director of Nursing was on the phone...

I told her about the bleeding on the brain.  She told me she was viewing the security cameras and it showed Dad leaving his room around 5am.  He was last checked at 4:30am.  I asked how Dad could walk out of his room and get past two nursing stations and through a heavy, alarmed door?  She told me maybe the alarm didn't go off.  I told her Dad still had his alarm bracelet on his wrist. She apologized and told me she was still investigating and did not have all the answers... She asked me to please keep her informed.

I called my brother and asked him to update the family.  I told him about the bleed and said he should let everyone know so they could decide on coming down...I choked back tears, praying for God not to Dad die.

My blood was boiling! How could Dad even walk? He is ALWAYS in his wheel chair? How could the staff not see him? Not hear the alarm? How could he get past that heavy security door and get outside!?? I knew if I allowed myself to obsess about HOW it happened, I would not be present for Dad.  I willed the blood in his head to stop bleeding.  He had to be so sore and so frightened.  Right now, he was the priority...I returned to Dad.

Dad was upset and talking, but was impossible to understand through his swollen lip and weakened state.  He kept calling for his Doctor Doctor to take care of him.  He became angry that they had taken him away from her... the last thing we needed was for him to become agitated or combative...

Again, I ran to the wall phone.  I asked the Director of Nursing if Dad's Angel was working today.  She told me she was not sure.  I explained Dad was asking for her and wondered if she might be able to come over.  No later than 15 minutes later, Dad's Doctor-Doctor suddenly appeared magically, just like the Angel she is...

"Hello, my Papa Palapa" she said, and stroked his hair.  She looked at me with intensity in her eyes...asking me what on earth had happened....Dad managed a smile through his swollen lips and it sounded like he was thanking her...

Shortly afterward, Mom arrived.  I told them both what the Paramedic report had said...

Doctor-Doctor returned to work, spending her lunch hour visiting Dad.  Mom and I were like exposed nerves, raw with emotion.  There were three children under five screaming and crying with pain.  A man next to Dad was retching and vomiting in pain, attempting to pass a kidney stone.  It was horrible.

During the course of the 10 hours in the ER, we were told Dad miraculously, did not break his neck or any bones.  So far, no concussion and the neurologist felt the bleed would resolve itself... but would take a long time.  Dad would have to stay in CCU on the 3rd floor and we had to wait until a room became available.

Around 6pm, Dad was transferred upstairs to the 3rd floor to CCU.  Mom and I waited in the CCU waiting room while they changed Dad out of his bloody gown and got him situated in his new room.  We told him we would see him the next day and for him to get some rest.  We asked the nurses to get him a milk shake or something to eat.  He barely drank any water and refused anything to eat.  He was in and out of sleep after they gave him some pain pills.

Mom drove me to my car and dropped me off.  She left for home.  I was to leave and drive to my sisters, but I could not find my cell phone.  The battery had died in the ER, so I wanted to plug it in to my car charger.  Could not find it.  I raced out of the car to see Mom's tail lights turn left out of the hospital parking lot.  CRAP!

I rushed back into the hospital and up to the 3rd floor.  I searched the entire waiting room, which is where I had realized my cell was dead.  I checked with the nursing station to see if anyone had turned in a cell phone.  No luck.  Went down stairs and checked with security.  Nothing.  I borrowed the hospital phone and called my sister to ask her to call Mom and see if it fell out in her car.  I told my sister I would be late getting to her house.

I drove to Mom's, ran in the front door, and before I could ask, Mom pointed to the end table by the front door, and there was my cell phone!  Thank God!

Made it to my sister's by 8pm. She and her husband took me out to dinner. When we returned to her home, we got comfy in our PJ's, she made me some tea and put one of her special hot rice bags on my aching back.  Almost immediately, I passed out in the chair... it was one hell of a day.