Today I tried to call Dad on the pay phone at the psych ward. I called 4 times. The first time some lady patient answered and told me Dad was not there. I gave her the room number and she told me that was her room... I tried again and he was asleep. Again and he was asleep... the last time, again, he was asleep. What the heck is going on???
If he slept all day, there is a good chance, he will be up all night...
Mom got a list of all his medications today at her visit. She arrived and he was in the lunch room finishing his lunch. Dad finally got shaved! She asked if she could comb his hair and he did not answer her. A lady patient was having trouble breathing, and Mom asked Dad again about taking him to his room and combing his hair. He agreed, only to lie down and close his eyes after she combed his hair...
Dad is not on the anti-psychotic meds anymore...maybe that is because he is on the anti-depressant. I tried to call the Social Worker three times, once she was in a meeting, once she was with a doctor and the third time she had already left for the day.
I called his Cardiologist and asked if he had changed Dad's heart and blood pressure medication. He hadn't, so it was Dad's primary care doctor. The cardiologist's nurse approved of the changes and took down the list of Dad's new meds.
I left a message for his primary care physician. We have decided since Dad has so little pleasures these days, why not take him off the low sodium diet and let him eat what he wants. Dad just LOVES to eat, so let him!! I think giving him the joy of enjoying his food is worth the risk to his health.
Out of frustration and sadness for what my sister is going through right now, I just broke down and sobbed for a couple hours. She and I had such a traumatic experience at the psych ward with the naked lady attacking us. I know it took so much for her to go back in to that snake pit for Dad. The fact she found him in such shabby shape, added insult to injury in seeing Dad so confused and deluded. My heart breaks when I think how heartbroken she is...
I know my second to the youngest brother is having a difficult time as well. Both of them just want their Dad back... We all do...but deep inside I feel him slipping further and further into that black hole called Alzheimer's...
I ache to see Dad...just to put my arms around him and hug his little, crooked, bony body. To look into his eyes and see him smile. To hold his hands and show him how very much he means to me. I feel so empty when I cannot hear his voice, even if what he is saying, makes no sense.
Even though I could not talk to you today Dad...I will call again tomorrow. I love you Dad. God Bless you and keep you safe through the night...
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