Mom visited Dad this afternoon after she got off work and went to her support group. She found him sitting in the Bingo room, in his wheel chair with his eyes closed. When she greeted him, he opened his eyes and told her "Good morning". Every time I visit Dad, he feels it is morning time.
Mom gave him a kiss, a cookie and some juice. Shortly afterward, he began his carousel of thoughts...
"I am going to show the Lord. Mr. Obama is in charge of this day. We get blessings and we are in China on a yacht." (Dad always had an extensive and creative imagination)
"Look down at the past and from now on we'll look at TV and love sharing love. We have spoken to the Boys and Donna. Jesus is going to keep me shaving with the Boys." (I think he means he enjoys giving all the Boys "whisker rubs" in lieu of a kiss. It is the way his Father showed affection to him. This is something Dad never did prior to becoming ill.)
"There will be a celebration and don't forget the mayonnaise. I'm hungry. Time for beautiful women. They cut us off at noon. So easy if the Boys will celebrate today too. The boys have to dress a certain way. If I get something good to eat, I am happy. The Boys are here, so let's celebrate." (Dad loves it when the Boys visit and bring him good food. They used to take him out to their favorite eateries and "hook him up". I think Dad has lost the ability to recognize being full, and forgets when he has eaten. My Mother-in-Law did the same thing.)
"I'm looking down at centuries. I could be in Africa. If I didn't take my life seriously, it doesn't matter. Donna, L_____(Mom), wherever you are. Our time is very short if we look at the time. Look at the ghost. If they cut that artery in half, it is a DANGEROUS day. If we love the Lord's life, it is mixed up with these women. I am so blessed with the Boys and noon is coming up. There is a good message under the glass. B____ is so beautiful." (One of his church's female Pastors who visits and administers with Dad.)
"Everything is taken care of for Donna, me and you. We're actually looking at history. This could change tomorrow. We are trying to split 3/4's of the day. We could be anywhere in the world. Must be in the frame of mind to accept Christ and this beautiful woman. I see you're working that in a wonderful way. How you feel when I was home, I could be anywhere in the world, it doesn't take much."
"The morning becomes electric..." (Dad had a big smile on his face) The morning becomes electric. That's the way it is. This could happen tomorrow. Come on Boys, let's go to lunch, I'm hungry! How about you?"
This may sound weird, but I find Dad's carousel of thoughts fascinating. I keep thinking his CT Scan showed his brain was so atrophied, the doctors were blown away that he could even talk! I remember Dad's intelligence and the wonderful stories he told us as children. I think of what I have read in books how the brain is a network, connected by neutrons, interacting with all that was learned in the brain. With A/D, those neutrons basically burn out or short circuit, so it no longer has the connection within the network. For me, the way Dad speaks, illustrates that.
I am so grateful that he still recognizes us, or senses we are special to him. At times, he acts like he is confused either with our name or knowing we look familiar, but not exactly sure.
Today, my sister emailed me and told me, by my posting some of my art, it gave her comfort, in a way, that Dad is more at peace and we all are in a pretty good place...
I had such an emotional connection to Dad saying, "The morning is electric". For me, it means the beauty and glory of another sunrise, thanking God for one more day to love one another...