This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some days the well is dry...

Its hotter than hell outside, and the thunder is rumbling. July through September is monsoon season in Nevada. Flash floods and pouring rain can come out of no where.

Frustration is swirling about me. Each day I find myself doting on Mom. She would probably do better if I allowed her to figure it out herself. I hate being so far from my family.

Mom is so worried Medi-Cal will not approve Dad. The financial status of the State of California is so bleak, Mom cannot shake her fear of no coverage and having to bring Dad home. Some times we just have to have faith that it will work out. If it doesn't, then we deal with what is left and go from there.

I feel empty. I hope I did not make any mistakes in placing Dad where he is. I feel I am not doing anything worth while. It felt good being busy and making calls and researching for Dad. I felt I was doing something important.

When I feel like this, I want to sell the house and move closer... But where would we move? The only attraction for California is, to live closer to the family. Otherwise, it has very little draw for me.

Some days, the well is dry.

2 comments:

Marcella said...

My experience of people with Alziemers is usually at a distance. Very close friends had to put their Mum into permenant care. I had met the lady and she was indeed a real LADY but she was found by the police on one occasion having taken of her blouse and holding 6 fresh eggs. After that there was no question as to where she needed to be. If it weren't so serious it would be funny and I guess sometimes it may help to see the funny side of things. She was oblivious of here prediciment so caused her no self incrimination. Anothr friend in her mid 50's has a husband with the disease. I also used to play cards with a gentleman at our local club who used to tell us about his wife who he had to care for with it. He stopped coming to cards for a few months and then one day a carer asked if we would mind if a gentleman came and tried to learn and lo and behold it was our friend who himself had been struck with the condition. WE had noticed he had become a bit forgetful but had no idea that he was soon to become a victim too. I think the best thing to remember is that they have no idea of their state and are probably quite happy in their OWN LITTLE WORLD.

Donna B said...

Hi Marcella, thanks for visiting me. You are so right, we could not function through this horrendous disease if we did not resort to our humor now and again! I appreciate you sharing your stores with me, it really helps.