This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Oh my God, oh my precious God....

I can barely write. I can barely think. Today started off so positive. We were so uplifted and so happy. I received a good report from Dad's doctor and he anticipates Dad to be discharged on Monday. We got the Medi-Cal papers finished and filed. Mom and I toured the homiest, cheeriest skilled nursing home for Dad. It is just wonderful. He will get physical therapy, spa treatments, hearing aid, glasses, podiatry, and dental work. All for free!! I just know Dad would love it. We had so much to be grateful for and were so happy Dad was doing better.

Guess it is not wise to allow ourselves to get too hopeful. Tonight when my sister and I went to see Dad in the psych ward, we could tell immediately how his demeanor had changed. Again he was in someone elses clothes. He had refused his heart and blood pressure medication. He seemed so stressed and soon it was apparent why...

Some deranged, woman, fellow-patient was pontificating her greatness and ordering the staff around. She stood beside us and demanded the nurse fire the two new women helping in the dining room. She announced she was the first female black woman President of the United States. Soon she was fixated on us and told us to leave thinking we were "floozies" waiting to steal her man, her doctor away from her. "He's mine, oh YES, he's mine, YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!".

We tried to ignore her and took Dad into his room. She continued to stand in the door way of his room and glare at us. She warned us to leave in 15 minutes or she would "tear our hair out". I went to the nurses station and asked if they were aware of how she was acting. One male told us, "not to worry about her", another female nurse warned us to "keep an eye on her".

Our second oldest brother joined us just in time for this ranting, tormented, lunatic, obviously a paranoid schizophrenic, to come into Dad's room, naked! The hair on my neck stood on end as I prepared myself for battle. Just as she came toward me, the male nurse rushed in, getting between the lunatic and myself, just as she smashed him in the face and knocked him to the floor, sending his glasses in several pieces!

Her voice was loud and commanding. Clearly she was aggressive and she had fixated her delusion upon us. Despite a shot to "knock her out" she continued her parade of nudity. She pranced down the halls and into the lunch room. I asked Dad if he wanted to change rooms and he told us YES! I let the nurses know Dad wanted to move and we were concerned he might be harmed. They finally put her in a room and scotch taped paper over the glass so she could not see out. All she did was scream and yell at the top of her voice. A loud male patient down the hall was cursing "F-You, you rotten B-!!"

Both my sister and I were shaken. My brother stood guard at the door way to Dad's room. Dad's eyes were wild and wide eyed...

When we left, my brother went to his car, and my sister and I held onto one another as we walked to her car. My sister was sobbing.  I offered to drive, but she told me "she had to". We were suppose to celebrate tonight.  Everyone was coming over for spaghetti dinner... My sister dropped me off and drove home, she needed to get home and some how, calm herself down....

Oh my God what a slice of hell that place is! And our precious FATHER is in there!! I have called twice, once at 11:30 pm and once at 12:30 am. He just stands in the hall by his new room but refuses to go in. He won't return to his old room either. He is probably "standing guard" after the day he had!!!

Dad would not even come to the phone to talk with me. I could hear him repeating over and over, "NO, NO, NO". When I tried to talk to him over the phone he SCREAMED," NO!!!!, NO!!!!!!!" and the nurse told me he was too agitated. She said if anyone gets close to him he yells and gets very combative.

I know his legs will swell like balloons by the morning. His right leg was swollen when we were there today, just before that crazy woman barged in. We wanted to check to see how his leg ulcers were healing.

I wanted to call my brother to go down there but the nurse told me he would not be allowed in, due to the the strict visiting hours. I am telling his doctor we want him out of the psycho ward and transferred to the nice nursing home we picked out, ASAP!!!

I just can't stand it. It's like the Alzheimer's is eating Dad alive from within. Thin slivers one day and big chunks disappear another. The Alzheimer's is the damn enemy!!! Oh my God, oh my precious God, please help us....Please wake us from this horrendous nightmare!!!!

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