This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Took a day for me...

Last night was so fun, despite being so tired. My youngest grandson graduated from pre-Kindergarten. He is so proud to go to school with his big brother. Hugging those boys and seeing their bright faces allowed me to take my first deep breath in several weeks. I wish I could have spent more time with them.

After checking with the nursing station this morning, and making sure Dad was OK; I double checked if the medical doctor has submitted his orders for Dad's compression stockings. Thankfully, he did.

There's nothing more I can do except make sure Dad is OK and to make sure he DOES get transferred to his new place on Monday. It makes me sick to my stomach that he has to be in that awful place for Father's Day. We can't even leave our Father's Day cards with him because they will disappear.

I took the rest of the day for myself. I met one of my dearest friends for a late breakfast at IHOP. She listened and I talked about Dad and what has been going on. We decided to not see a show and just "wing it" and spend the rest of the day just doing what we felt like doing. She asked me if I needed to do anything and I remembered I wanted a pouch for my new cell phone and get Dad some clothes.

I bought Dad some V-neck colored tee-shirts, he doesn't like the round necked ones. Got him a pair of shorts and some lounging pants. We went to the Thrift Store to get him some sweat pants and a cozy zipper jacket. No sense getting him anything too fancy for that place, but I am sick of seeing him in other patients clothes. I just finished washing and folding them.

It was a nice day, sunny, not too hot, nice breeze and just the perfect company. We've been friends for 23 years and we never had to do anything fancy, just be together and enjoy one anothers company. We were single moms together, so we've been through a lot together.
She's another Angel in my life.

Came back to my eldest daughter's home. She and her family are on vacation, so her sister and I are giving Lila, their diabetic cat her medicine while they are away. The solitude is good for me. I am soaking in the silence. Just me and the cat.

This year will go down as the worst year for birthdays, holidays and special occasions. I hope and I pray, that when Dad gets transferred to his new place, he will be happy. It's the next best thing to home. He will have a calmer, easier life with a lot less stress. He'll get his medical needs met, have social gatherings, Christian fellowship, we can visit more often... I hope it is better for him. I hope he does not refuse his meds and go back into the black hole...

Seems breakfast is the only meal I can hold down. Everything else goes right through me.
This was not the way I had planned on losing weight.

I feel like I am hanging over the edge of the Grand Canyon by a thread of hair. I can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I ache inside for Dad. I just want him out of there!

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