This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Preparations, Cleanup and Paybacks...

I called the nursing home first thing this morning. I pulled an "all night er" of productivity.  I have been working on my office space, attempting to make it more creative and inspiring.  I am toying with the idea of writing a book on Dad...

I told the charge nurse to please PUT A BIGGER NOTE ON DAD'S CHART....

I AM THE FIRST CONTACT.

IF DAD WANTS TO SPEAK WITH MOM,

FAKE LIKE YOU'RE CALLING HER,

TELL HIM, SHE MUST BE ASLEEP,

AND CALL ME!!!

What part of "I am the first contact" do they NOT UNDERSTAND?

My brother K________ is having a yard sale at Mom's house today.  He has been working on the garage in between customers.  Mom said he has worked wonders in there getting it organized.
Dad (and Mom) are pack rats, with my Dad having a bigger lead...  Dad saved every nut, bolt, screw, burnt light bulb.  He rarely threw anything away, and when he did, he recycled.

When he was home, he would over turn all the City trash cans two days before trash day, spread all the trash out on a tarp in the backyard, and then proceed to sort and pic through our trash.  Any plastic containers would be singled out and washed.  Any tin or aluminum, string, rubber bands....all separated and saved. We found boxes and boxes of tin foil balls in his room and desk!

You get the picture.  He was EXTREMELY neurotic, obsessive and compulsive.  He drove Mom crazy!!

My brother has organized the garage and re stacked his daughter's storage (my niece lives with Mom) and Mom's storage, and some of Dad's stuff we are saving for family members.

My other brother S_______ hauled E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G from Mom's craft room upstairs and cleaned, washed her windows, re-hung the blinds and re-painted.  The room has exceptionally great light, and it is where Mom likes to sit and needlepoint all the great grand kids Christmas stockings.
She has been painstakingly working on my youngest grandson's stocking.  When she finishes, she has my youngest daughter's son to be born mid September, to start.

Mom also loves to read, or write to her many pen pals all over the world at her roll top desk, or listen to her iPod, my sister and I gave her for one of her birthdays...

She has TONS of material stashed in filing cabinets and gift bags, various colors of tissue wrap, ribbons and gift boxes. She could open her own store...  She is in the process of cleaning all of that out before she moves it, her sewing machine, and new chair, back into the room.  She has ordered carpet and an electrician to add more electrical plugs.

Dad would NEVER ALLOW her to hire any one to come in and fix or repair.  He did not like strangers in the house and he thought he could figure it out...  Problem was, over the fifty something years they have lived in the house, Dad has had the same number of years in unfinished projects.

Slowly but surely, what my brothers can not do, Mom is hiring a handy man to do.  She is finally, after all these years, getting the house fixed properly, eliminating a lot of the clutter, and making it look nice enough so Mom can enjoy herself there instead of being overwhelmed.  It is not an over night fix, this has been an on going year long pursuit, and is still far from finished.

Lots of preparations, cleanup and payback for Mom's years of Care giving for Dad and having to deal with Dad's chaos. Thank you Mom, we love you...

10 comments:

Marylinn Kelly said...

A message for us all that, despite what we think, if we are here and breathing it is never too late. How happy it must make all of you to see your mom finally having the house in the shape she has wished for. And how fortunate for her that she has all of you to help and support her as she makes her visions real. There is no telling what these changes will do for her...but I know the outcome will be wonderful.

Jeanie said...

I've said it before and I'm saying it again....You're mon is amazing. Your brothers sound pretty cool too.

Mari said...

I hope this time the message gets through to call you first!
I love the idea of a book. You have so much written here already, and I think it would be helpful to many people!

That corgi :) said...

I think your parents are from the same generation my husband's parents are from (they are in their 80s and lived through the Great Depression). Having to do without for awhile back then and having humble starts, they saved everything thinking they might have a need for it down the line. Even when prosperity hit them, they still saved (couldn't get away from that mentality, I guess). Consequently, MIL's cupboards would be filled with plastic containers like you get from yogurt or Cool Whip and you had no room to squeeze anything else in. Same with the majority of their house. I feel from hubby/brother when they have to start de-clutter it since both parents are in assisted living now and probably will end up staying there for however many days they have left.

I hope your brother did good on the garage sale today. There were lots in my area

how neat your mom needlepoints a stocking for the grands! My mom did similar with those felt type stocking kits, each of us, our spouses and children have one lovingly made from her. I don't think she made it to the great-grands (she lived to see two born but not sure if she made a stocking for them) but I cherish mine/my family's that she made

betty

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I enjoyed your post, made interesting reading. Your Mom must have been over the moon.

Ehjoy and have a peaceful Sunday.

Yvonne.

JasonBirk佳琪 said...

好的開始並不代表會成功,壞的開始並不代表是失敗............................................................

gayle said...

My husband parents hold on to everything...each blaming the other!! He is just like it and it drives me nuts!! He has a huge shop out back and it is over flowing. Problem is he thinks he might use it (whatever he saves) and he is ususally right! I only hope that we can get some of our stuff clean out before the kids have to. I am so glad your brothers are helping your mom!! Next time you are out seeing your dad ......ask to see the "call you note"! I think it would be a great idea to write a book about your dad!!

Donna said...

Hi Donna, just read all the updates. You should write a book, and you sure could use your blog for reference. Isn't it nice to get organized and clean things up? Your Mom is so lucky to have wonderful sons who will give her a hand.

Rose said...

saw your profile and blog. my mother had dementia it's tough. your mother sounds like a great person and has alot of support. will follow rose at http://somewondersoflife.blogspot.com/

Gill_Ruth said...

Hi Donna

I have a lovely image in my mind of your mother sitting serenely at her needlepoint.

My dad has a bit of a thing about recycling and keeping things "just in case" they may come in useful. Quite often they do - but as I like neat and tidy, I do find it frustrating sometimes trying to create and keep some order amongst the clutter.

Take care, Gill