I Just Want To Protect Dad...

Last Monday, while in California, the nursing home had called to inform me of an appointment, Dad's primary care physician set up for him with a Neurologist, tomorrow at 10:45am, without notifying us first.  I am suppose to be the first contact regarding anything involving Dad.

This will be the first doctor visit scheduled outside the nursing home, in over a year.  We all have concerns about triggering "home" memories if Dad were to get into one of our cars.  Mom cannot handle Dad alone.  One of my brothers would have to go with her, plus we need a CNA to go and that involves out of pocket expense.  It is $15 an hour with a three hour minimum. 

Last week I inquired if Medicare or Medi-Cal would pay to transport Dad to his doctor appointment and if Dad's favorite,  Doctor-Doctor could be the CNA to go with him.  No one called me back like they told me they would, so today, when I called, I found out it was all set up.

Mom gets home at 7pm tonight and her best friend is having a hysterectomy tomorrow.  Mom planned on going to visit her friend.  Now she must visit her friend after meeting Dad and the CNA at the Neurologist's office.  I STILL have not heard back from the Neurologists office as to WHY Dad has to keep this "follow up consultation" appointment...

Dad is terrified of Neurologists.  He associates them with the word dementia and believes if one has dementia, surgery and brain experimentation is inevitable.  I have instructed everyone to not mention the type of doctor he is to Dad. 

Dad's primary doctor needs Dad to see the Neurologist because he is the one who discontinued Dad's Plavix and Aspirin, Dad takes for his heart.  Obviously, blood thinners and brain bleeds don't mix.  We just want to make sure a CT Scan is not something the Neurologist plans on doing, because I made it crystal clear we did not want Dad sedated.  We don't want Dad having any procedures which would upset Dad, and as long as he is comfortable and not in any pain, we prefer to leave well enough alone!

Very frustrating day, trying to call around and get answers and no doctors have returned my calls or emails.

If they are not doing diagnostic tests to determine if Dad still does have a slow bleed in his brain, then what does the doctor plan on doing to determine whether Dad can resume taking his blood thinners? Ask Dad how he is?  The doctor could ask us instead of putting Dad through all this.  Dad distrusts doctors.  If the doctor asked how Dad was, even if Dad was hurting, Dad would tell him, "I feel just fine, thank you."

I just spoke with Mom.  She is waiting at the airport for her return flight.  I can hear the tension in her voice.  She has been away most of this month, enjoying time with our brother, her oldest son and his family.  I know returning to the reality of Dad and no job, and the heat with no air conditioning has to be heavy on her mind.

Hopefully this appointment will not be a waste of time and money.  I just want to protect Dad and keep him from anything to get him upset him unnecessarily...