This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Some days, it's just too sad to bare...

I finally got to speak to Dad.  When the nurse told me she had just put him to bed, trying to get me to call back later.  I got firm and assertive and told her I was tired of being told to continually call back, only to be told to call back again!  I demanded to speak with him. 

When Dad came on the phone, he recognized my voice, but did not understand why I was in Nevada.  He told me these were dangerous times because we were at war.  He told me they had been hitting them pretty hard all during the night...

He told me there had been a big earthquake, and he was right, smack on top of it.  He told me it was very scary.  He was upset at Mom because she had not been to visit him.  He wanted to see his grandkids too...I filled him in on what my grandkids were up to, with their Little League and Karate classes. He asked about my second to the youngest brother's ex wife.  I told him she was fine.  Dad said she was coming to see him; he said he could hear the boys (his grand sons) in the hall way...

I know they weren't there, and it made me sad that he would expect them, and then when they did not appear, he would be upset... He forgets they are divorced...

I attempted to change the subject, and wished him a happy St. Patrick's day. I asked if they had green shamrocks hanging around and if he had seen any Leprecans... I could tell he was smiling, and told me he would look for them...I remember how much he LOVED Mom's cornbeef and cabbage on this day...I sure hope they serve it up today...

I reminded him April Fool's day was coming soon...and asked if he remembered all the pranks he would pull on Mom...He laughed and remembered all the times he would fool her and then find such joy, in telling her, "April Fool!"...

I could tell he was tired, and I really should let him go...but I have missed talking with him...and it has been so very long...

I told him how much I loved him.  I gave him God's Blessing...and wished him a cozy nap...

I miss him so much...some days it's just too sad to bare...

9 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Talking about happy times in the past is such a wonderful way to engage with your Dad -- I'm sure it makes him feel good.

Betty said...

I´m so sorry! It´s hard, I know. But I´m glad you finally got to visit with your dad on the phone.

Lily Robinson said...

I'm so glad you had a nice conversation. I don't blame you for insisting on talking to him.

May God continue to bless your days with strength and courage.

Jeanie said...

I am glad you got assertive and made them let you talk to him. From what I understand and from what you say about your dad, I think it is sadder for those who love him....though he is not where he would have chosen if he had a choice, he sounds happy for the most part and at least has some joy in each day. I think it brought him joy to talk to you, not saddness.

Mari said...

It's so good to hear that you finally got through to him. Something we do when someone calls to speak to a family member and they are resting is to have the nurses call back when the resident is up, so the family doesn't have to keep trying. You could also ask you Mom to call from there when she is with him, so you get more opportunities to talk with him.
In spite of the things he thinks are happening around him, he seems to remain in good spirits.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I feel for you but proud of you for demanding to speak to your dad. He may have been asleep but it was good that you were finally able to hear his voice.

Hope that corned beef is on the menu for today for him.

dellgirl said...

Your post is right on the mark... it is so sad when loved ones reach this point. I like the way you describe your conversations with your dad. It show the intricacies of talking with our loved ones, so very of what we say gets through to them.

I smiled at the part where you said you could tell 'he was smiling' when you asked about the green shamrocks.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Nezzy said...

Oh boy can this Ozark farm chick relate. My dad is in Texas and I am in Missori...only 1145 miles separate us. He has battled leukemia for over 20 years and now he is unable to talk on the phone. We communicate thought my Mom but it is soooo not the same.

God bless and have a wonderful day from the hills and hollers of the Missouri Ponderosa!!!

gayle said...

I am so behind but just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and can't even imagine how hard this is on you!! I am glad you did get to talk to your dad!!