Dad thinks Mom is marrying my brother's friend...

Mom had a bad visit with Dad today.  He was complaining about having stomach problems the night before and  said my brother's friend worked there at night. Dad got angry and asked my Mom why she was marrying the boys friend after 63 years of marriage to Dad.  Mom was stunned, telling Dad he was the only man she was married to, and the friend had been married 20 years to his wife. Dad could not remember who the friend's wife was.  She said it took him a while, but finally seemed relieved.

Dad told Mom he feels very isolated because "no one comes to see him".  Mom was offended because he appeared to not include Mom on the visitors list.  One minute he was telling her how great they treat him and the next he was angry because the nursing home won't let him lay on the grass, or have a van come pick him up for work...

He told Mom he can't stand alone and needs to exercise and start running. He wanted to know when he could come home, and what had happened to his room.  Dad was wearing black tennis shoes, and told Mom that all the doctors on the night shift, wear them.

Hallucinating, Dad said he had sat on a bench in West Covina and two of his former doctors, dropped by and sat with him. Mom asked if it was his former primary care doctor, and Dad corrected her, telling her they were Cardiologists.

He was very concerned with how Mom was doing financially, and she assured him she was fine.

Again, changing the subject, Dad informed Mom he was now working for President Obama and that the gal from Alaska will be in office next year...

Mom had called me, telling me Dad wanted to talk to me.  When I ask him enthusiastically how he was, he told me he was "OK, now..."  He repeated not feeling well last night and about Mom clearing up she was not marrying my brother's friend.

We chatted, he told me he wanted to come to my house for Christmas, and I agreed that would be wonderful.  He asked how myself and my husband were, and I assured him we were fine and reminded him about Izzy. Dad had such a good laugh when I had showed him her picture on his birthday.  He laughed again when I mentioned her.  I told him how cold it is here and how she would stick her nose out the back door and turn around, away from the door.  He laughed.  I told him how I bought her a red parka, and how much she loves wearing it.  I told him she wears it outside when it is cold or raining, "to do her business".  He laughed hard at that, really getting a kick out of it.  It felt good to laugh together...

He began telling me about his doctor and how he refuses to allow him to treat him.  I asked him why, and he told me because he was too aggressive.  I agreed and told him that was no fun.  He told me they take care of him there at the nursing home, most of the time.  I told him the nurses were his angels and they really cared about him.  He agreed they were very nice.  I was just ready to ask him how his lunch was, when Mom came on the line.  Apparently, Dad was done talking and just handed the phone back to Mom.

I could hear the frustration and annoyance in Mom's voice.  I know how difficult it is for her to visit him alone. I know she prefers to have someone go with her. I know how hard it is for her.  It is difficult for all of us...

I have a mixed up myriad of emotions...I feel anger, sadness, depression, hopelessness, loneliness, and borderline rage...rage that seethes beneath the service of my soul.  Why is this happening? Why does Dad have to go through this when he is such a kind and gentle person?  Nothing makes sense anymore...