This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Sundowner Demands...

Mom got a phone call from the nursing home. Dad wanted to speak with Mom.  As soon as she said Hello, Dad voice came booming through the lines, roaring with anger, demanding she come and get him right away!  He was firing off orders like some kind of a verbal machine gun, she could not squeeze a word in edgewise...

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!"   "NO ONE COMES TO SEE ME ANYMORE!"

"COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND PICK ME UP!!"

"I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS MY HEALTH OR ANYTHING OVER THE PHONE!"

When Dad inhaled or took a breath, Mom gently explained she was working in the house at the moment... and Dad blasted back at her, ' DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME! I SAID TO COME AND PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

She could hear Dad yelling at someone, (probably the poor nurse) tellng her how mad he was...then the nurse came on the line and explained Dad had been "upset and not himself" most of the day... She reassured Mom, Dad was fine, and they would calm him down...

Obviously, Mom was very upset and very shaken.  It has been a long time since Dad has done this...

My second the youngest brother emailed her and was so sweet and supportive, letting her know he would go visit Dad in the morning.  My sister said she would go too.  I spoke with Mom briefly as we had company.  We all told her the same thing, not to take it personally...but we all know how easy that is to say, but know only too well, how difficult it is to be on the receiving end when Dad gets like that...

4 comments:

Mari said...

That is so hard to deal with. Even when you know in your head, that it's not personal it's hard to take. I hope the visits with your siblings went well!

That corgi :) said...

hugs to you all; it is hard to deal with dementia and its effects especially in people we love; hubby's mother has dementia associated with Parkinson's disease and while she is not in a nursing home yet (but should be, but that's another story for another day), it is hard sometimes not to know how to react when she says or does something and you know its because of the dementia.

betty

gayle said...

I hate to hear this..it is so hard when something like this happens!! He was having such goods days just before this happened.

Donna B said...

Mari: Yes, it did...these times are tough, but we learned early on, there are sunny days and rainy days and we just have to be so very thankful for the sunny ones.

Betty:God Bless you with your MIL. My husband's Mother also had Alzheimer's. It was a real challenge. Mom had a tough time with Dad, long before he was admitted to the nursing home. We wanted to keep him at home as long as possible...

Gayle: I know, it's hard to take, but we have learned to take the bad with the good, and hope more for the good...