Another step in the right direction...

Went for a long walk with Izzy this morning and ran into my neighbor and friend with her dog.  Both of our dogs are rescues.  The first time they met it was a high pitched bark feast complete with snarling...now they sniff, paw and play with one another.  They pranced along as my girlfriend walked behind talking.

I took a chance and let Izzy be loose in the house, instead of in her crate.  I went to pick up my new glasses and ran some errands.  I was gone almost three hours.  When I opened the front door, she had just come in from the back yard through the doggy door.  The house was as I left it.  She ran to me and jumped on me with exuberance.  I am so very proud of her!

I began to prepare all the paperwork for our Reverse Mortgage application.  My husband called from work and told me he was on his way to pick me up.  Our appointment was at 5pm.  We signed an inch thick pile of papers, ordered our appraisal and paid for it.  The Appraisal is our next step.  I leave for California on the 6th, so hopefully we can get it done before I leave....otherwise, my husband will have to make sure the appraiser knows all our upgrades and improvements.

Step by step we are getting closer to my husband retiring... we talked at dinner of how fast the time is flying.  This year is almost half over!

Family news...and updates

Today Mom found out her job would be abolished in June.  She works for a second chance high school, where kids who have gotten into trouble or lost their way, get another opportunity to graduate.  She is in charge of the attendance.  Mom has worked there for a little over 15 years.

The director of classified employees and the union head met with Mom and the principal in her office.  They showered her with compliments assuring her it was a financial decision and not due to her performance.  She was encouraged to file for unemployment.

Mom leaves this weekend for a Retreat in San Diego and she has another trip to Ohio in June.  She will spend most of June visiting our oldest brother, his wife and their four kids.  The last time she saw them was last June, when Dad went into the hospital.

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Most of my comments about the move, have been on my other blog, Discovering the Purpose of our Lives at http://discoveringthepurposeofyourlife.blogspot.com/   I had a few comments from blogging friends who didn't even realize we had taken the house off the market and are staying put; for now...

We had our counseling appointment for our Reverse Mortgage this morning.  Tomorrow, we do the application and pay to have a professional give us an appraisal on our home. 

   *****    Everyone please pray we get an appraisal for at least $200,000.    *****

The appraisal will be a determining factor to our Reverse Mortgage.

Spent the day staying busy. Pulled weeds and trimmed some of trees and bushes in the yard.  Cleaned and organized the boxes I had packed in the garage, so it looks more presentable.  Did two loads of laundry and vacuumed the house. I typed up a list of all the upgrades and improvements to give to the appraiser. I finished breaking down my art studio, just to make the garage not seem so cluttered.  I have to stay on top of the appearance of the house for when ever the appraiser appears...

Extra portions and lots of ice cream...

The nursing home called me today.  Dad has lost two pounds.  The doctor ordered extra large portions and ice cream for Dad.

I think he has lost weight because we have pretty much stopped bring him in extra food.  At one point he had put on twenty pounds...

His face looked more gaunt to me the last time I visited...

I'll have to check him extra close in May when I go visit again.

In any case, I KNOW the extra ice cream will give him a big happy smile...

On being grateful...

I'm grateful for:

Dad having more good days than bad...

My son in law keeping his job...(we hope and pray)

Another grandson on his way...my youngest daughter's sonogram showed a baby boy!

Not having to finish packing up this house...but looking forward to my continued purging and simplifying.

My daughters understanding with us staying put...(for now...)

My husband being able to retire by the end of the year...

My mouth feeling better, the extraction site getting smaller and finally healing.

Izzy settling in and not barking as much.  She can relax and nap in another room without having to be right beside me... Bit by bit she and my husband are forming a relationship...a (neurotic one, but it's a start)

All my blogging friends who have been so wondeful and supportive.

His beautiful wife...

Mom went to visit Dad yesterday morning.  She found him in the dining room doing crafts with the other residents.  Dad saw Mom coming, through the dining room windows, and began throwing her kisses... Mom walked in and greeted him with a kiss of her own.  The room was a murmer of varied conversations and music, when Dad spontaneously announced in a booming voice,

"THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!"

The room went almost silent.  Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at both Mom and Dad.  Mom told us later in her email, "Nothing like a grand entrance!"

Dad was off and running at the mouth...Mom could not follow or understand what he was talking about, but just smiled and nodded, listening intently.  Dad's Angel, Doctor-Doctor, brought them each a cup of coffee.  Mom and Dad have always enjoyed having their coffee together.  Coffee is Mom's most favorite beverage.

One of the residents was sitting next to Dad and coloring.  Dad told Mom he had already done enough coloring for the day.  Mom reminded him of all the coloring he used to do with the Grand kids.  Dad smiled fondly, nodding his head, remembering.  Mom complimented Dad, telling him how well he stayed within the lines...  Some thing about that hit Dad's funny bone, because he burst into a roaring belly laugh!

Mom had brought Dad a six pack of Oreo cookies.  When she handed him one, he lit up with a big smile.
Mom smiled back, knowing Oreos being one of his favorite cookies.

The Pastor walked into the dining room, greeting various residents who attended regularly by name.  He greeted Dad and introduced himself to Mom.  He told her they were going to be having a Bible Study soon, studying Galatians, and asked if she would like to join them.

Mom thanked the Pastor, but declined, sharing she was meeting an old friend for lunch.  Mom told Dad she was meeting the wife of a couple of their old friends from College.  The four of them used to travel and camp together.  Dad and the woman's husband hiked and climbed Mt. Whitney.  They were such life long friends, when we moved into the home Mom still lives, back in the 50s; Dad  planted two one gallon pine trees and named them after their friends. Dad asked Mom to deliver his love and a big hug to them both, which Mom did later at her lunch.

Dad mentioned my brother K____ and his wife and his grand son of my other brother, S____.  He told Mom how much he missed them...She promised to let them know and was sure he would see them soon.

Mom was very happy with her visit with Dad and definitely agreed that mornings are the very best time to visit...

Later, when Mom was leaving, Doctor-Doctor took Mom aside and told her Dad was very worried about my youngest brother, E_____.  Dad was very upset and thought something had happened to him.  Doctor-Doctor calmed him down by telling Dad she pretended to call his son on the phone.  She reassured Dad that he was fine, just very busy at work, but he would come to see him soon...  God Bless Dad's Angel...she has done this for Dad on numerous ocasions.  Talk about someone who goes the extra mile for her patients!!!

I plan on writing a letter on her behalf, letting the nursing home know how Blessed we are to have Dad there and being cared for by the incredible staff, especially her....his Angel.

A grey day...

It's raining today. Not heavy, just a drizzle. Been up since 3:30am. Couldn't sleep. My mouth is still aching and tender from the extraction. I called yesterday, and the nurse told me it was "normal" and to wait a couple of weeks...

My husband is getting dressed for work and I hear Izzy taunting him, trying to get him to play with her...she sounds full of energy and I am lacking in mine...

Our buyers backed out...

Our buyers backed out today.  They are no longer interested in our house. Feel kind of numb.  A realtor brought two men through the house late this morning, then our Realtor called with the news of the withdrawl of the potential buyers...

I slept most of the afternoon...

Tomorrow is another day...

The power of my 82 year old Mother...

Yesterday, after Mom got off work and ate her lunch, she went to the nursing home to visit Dad.  She found him sitting in the hallway, in his wheel chair, with his eyes closed.  She touched him gently on the shoulder and he smiled when he opened his eyes to see his wife...

She asked if he would like to go out on the patio and he was happy to go.  Mom asked if he had enjoyed his visit with my sister and brother the day before, and he told her he had a wonderful time...

Dad looked into her eyes and apologised for yelling at her on the phone Saturday night.  Mom was amazed he would remember something four days prior!!  He had never done that before. She told him how much the phone calls upset her and he smiled, saying he was sorry.

Dad began to talk of a special car radio that can pick up information and personal information for everyone living on their street...even my sisters.  Mom tried telling him my sister did not live on their street...and he looked confused and asked what she was talking about...

Mom tried to change the subject whenever he would go off on another negative tangent...Mom has had some real difficult times with Dad and he has said things to her that no one, especially a wife would want to hear.  I think Mom gets a bit panicy when he seems to be going down that familiar ominous road and becomes very upset.  I can't blame her.  I cannot imagine seeing my husband in such a situation...it HAS TO BE very unnerving and a tremendous emotional challenge.

Dad told her he had been up all night and was very tired... He told her there was a show tonight, and he would be singing.  He told her he had a wonderful lunch...and then when she asked, he could not remember a thing he had eaten.

They stayed out on the patio for a good 45 minutes before she could see he was clearly exhausted and needed to go back to his room to rest.  Mentally and emotionally, Mom was pretty pooped herself. One of the Aides saw her wheeling Dad back toward the building, and came out to help her.  He told her he would take over from here after she informed the Aide how tired Dad was.  So after she kissed Dad good bye, she watched as the Aide joked with Dad and had him chuckling as he wheeled Dad back to his room...

Mom made the rounds with the staff, collecting hugs and chatting.  Hugs from the staff, along with their genuine concern do so much to lift up Mom after a tough visit... She has a lot going on this week so today was the only day she could visit.

Mom has a church retreat planned to San Diego the end of this week.  She was reluctant to go, but we all encouraged her to go and get away.  I know she needs it...

This past Sunday, at her church, one of her male friends was speaking with a woman who looked like she was crying.  Mom picked up from his worried glance toward her, that he was in uncomfortable territory.  Mom walked over and gave him one of her legendary hugs.  He hugged her with great relief and introduced Mom to the woman he had been talking to. 

The woman's husband also had Alzheimer's.  She recently placed him in a home care situation.  Licensed care takers out of their homes, care for their residents.  Her husband was one of six.  The woman was riddled with guilt, remorse, anger, rage....and clearly was so upset, she had no qualms in crying in front of strangers or in public.

Mom spoke with her as only my Mom can.  She was able to give her relief and comfort, because ten months ago, she was in the same emotional boat.  She listened to the woman's story and shared her own.  She encouraged her to come to her Support Group.  The woman said her daughter was encouraging her to go but she felt so lost.  Mom shared that both my sister and I had encouraged Mom to attend a support group.

Mom gave the Support Group information to the woman, and gently laid her hand on the woman's knee,
 
"You need to get yourself a life, so you can be strong through this." 

Mom encouraged her by repeating the Three C's of a Caretaker...

"I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it."

Checkers, anyone??

Yesterday, my sister and brother arrived at the nursing home to visit Dad, just as Dad and I were finishing our phone conversation...

They all hugged hello and then asked Dad if he would like to go out on the patio.  On their way out, they saw Doctor Doctor and waved to her...

My brother asked if Dad would like to play Checkers and Dad was excited to play.  Dad chose black and my brother took red.  They had only been playing a few minutes when Doctor Doctor appeared with some coffee, and a piece of chocolate cake with a fork.  Intent on the game, Dad grabbed the cake, ignoring the fork on the plate, and began to devore the dessert.

My sister joked, saying, "Guess it is a crumb cake" as my brother and she watched a pile on chocolate cumbs tumble into Dad's lap.  Dad was too engrossed in the game to notice...

Dad was telling my sister about his room mates,  how much he enjoyed them and how well they all got along.  My brother took out his cell phone and began to video the conversation...

One of the nurses joined them on the patio with Dad's meds.  She told Dad, "Doctor Doctor said for you to take your medication", so Dad popped the cup of pills into his mouth, swallowed it in one gulp and chased it down with a small cup of Ensure.

After about 3o minutes, Dad grew tired.  Dad had already had successfully "King'd" four of his checkers to my brothers, two, so my brother graciously conceded that  Dad had won.  My brother remarked at how "present" and coherent Dad was.  There were brief comments from Dad about how the staff could read their minds and how he and his room mates could finish one another's sentences...

They could tell he was exhausted, and before they could wheel him back in, one of the Aides came out to ask if he could take Dad to his room to rest.  They hugged, sharing their love and kissed Dad good bye...

My brother was impressed and relieved.  Both he and my sister left happily... Both of them appreciated the great visit they had shared...

Semper Fi...Dad is a Marine...

I was concerned with Dad's outburst last night with Mom.  We had company and my dry socket with lack of sleep, ended the evening so much earlier than I wanted...so when she called, in addition to her email, I knew she needed to talk.  Unfortunately, it was a brief conversation once she discovered we had company.

I called the nursing home this morning to check on Dad.  The nurse explained Dad was "out of sorts" yesterday, and "not being himself".  Dad was refusing any assistance or meds unless his Angel Doctor Doctor would give it to him...( I called Mom back after my phone visit with Dad to make up for our short talk last night...)

The nurse told me Dad was much better today and was in activities.  I asked if I could please speak with him.  She told me she would get him and then disconnected me.  I called back and when I got her again, she apologised profusely. 

Dad came on the line, "Hello Donna Dee".  I asked if he had been in church and he replied, "I am fine...I feel good!"... I let it go...

He went on to explain to me there was a special Marine Corps deal going on this week...He told me he could have been away a long time, and couldn't remember.  I told him, "It was OK...he was being honored and that was the important thing".  He agreed with me...

He sounded so "normal".  His voice rested and calm and he shared how "its all about the basis of love".  "Love has to come first."  "God wants us to know this and it is so important to share with others..."  His voice choked a bit when he told me, "Laying down my life for Him, is letting Him know how much I love Him."

I agreed, telling him how important that was to remember and how he had taught me so much about God.  I told him when we don't have the love of God in our lives we are lost and when we do have his love inside us, we are found and are saved.  His voice softened and warmed me from the inside out as he agreed with me and said, "That's right, Dear"...

He then told me about all the ladies and how happy they are to see him and how happy he is to see them.  He had a huge smile on his face...I could just visualize his face smiling and happy...

He told me, "Remember honey, we just have to TAKE IT EASY..."  I found that so ironic, that he does not know any of the turmoil going on in our lives right now, but his Fatherly advice was so needed and so apropo...

He suddenly began to make his growling sound...which we all know means he is urinating in his diapers...
I asked if he needed to have me let him go so he could get changed, and he was still growling, saying, " it stings when it first starts..."

Then, he was fine, telling me he wanted apples, because it was the best time to eat apples...

He wanted me to know both the day and night staff watch out for him and take such good care of him.  Right now, they were helping him to find his room.  He told me how he loves his room and gets along so well with both his room mates...

He said something about "Intercourse", which came out of no where, and I did not register what he said... because the next minute his voice perked up and he told me, "Here comes my love..." and I knew he meant his Angel, Doctor-Doctor (his favoirte nurse). Dad always refers to Mom as, "My dear wife, the most beautiful woman in the world."  I asked if I could speak with her...and he put her on the line.

I greeted her and made pleasantries as I have seen or spoken with her in awhile...then I told her what Dad had told me, so she could let the doctor know ao he could order tests for Dad.  He might have another urinary tract infection.  Getting him to drink water is only successful, when we offer it to him.  He does not seem to initiate it himself.

She assured me she would take care of him and make sure he gets plenty of fluids.  She asked if I would tell the charge nurse about the concern for the UI because she was assigned to another unit and had just come to visit Dad.  She got the charge nurse on the line and I told her, then she passed me back to Dad...

Dad told me he was "On a big flat top ship now"... I asked him, "An air craft carrier?"  "Yes! That is what it's called.  I always think of our dear friend G..., who is a pilot.  I am going to ask him for lessons..."  Dad referred to a close family friend who Mom corresponds with regularly via email.  I used to babysit his Father...

When G...was on leave and had come to visit Mom and Dad (before Dad went into the nursing home), Mom had written him about Dad being a survivor of the Battle of Tarawa.  G...has been a student of Marine battles since College and felt the Battle of Tarawa was the deciding battle in WW II.  He had never met a 2nd Division Marine (which is the Division of Marines who fought in Tarawa) who had fought this particular battle, until my Father. He was anxious to meet Dad for that very reason. 

When G...asked Dad about the battle, Dad held G...'s attention as he remembered his tour in vivid detail.  G...was spellbound.  When Dad finished his story, G...., now a Marine Fighter Pilot with Majors rank, flying in F-16s, who is now training pilots to land and take off on aircraft carriers; stood and saluted my Father and thanked him for serving our country.  As G.. stood in erect salute, he proudly gave Dad the Marine Corps motto, "Semper Fi!"  Dad returned the motto to him and they both hugged. 

I cried when Mom related the story to us....several of us did.  Dad has never spoken of the War, or Tarawa, but after sharing it with G..., he opened up to all us about his War experiences.... (That's another post, another day...)

Dad's mood suddenly changed again, and he told me of a group who sneaks in a night trying to kill them..."I can't see them, but I can feel them..." he told me. I knew our conversation about the War had probably triggered him to go back to his "combat mode".... Dad did that alot when he was first taken to the hospital.

I asked if his Angel was still nearby, and I could see him smile again by the way he told me his Goldilocks was still there and she would always take the best care of him...she is his Doctor-Doctor".

I wanted to keep him positive and smiling, so I told him my husbands sends his love and wanted me to tell him, he still has his "excellent fingers".  Dad's spontaneous laughter rippled through my heart and gave me such joy to hear him laughing so hard...(see post from 4-8-10 to understand...)

His voice happy from laughter, I heard him say, "Oh my gosh!  Here comes Holl Doll and S......" (my sister and second to youngest brother).  Dad told me my sister wanted to talk with me.  She got on the line and I told her their timing was perfect!  She said they had brought a game of Checkers to play with him.

I know they will have a great visit and I look forward to hearing all about it...

Sundowner Demands...

Mom got a phone call from the nursing home. Dad wanted to speak with Mom.  As soon as she said Hello, Dad voice came booming through the lines, roaring with anger, demanding she come and get him right away!  He was firing off orders like some kind of a verbal machine gun, she could not squeeze a word in edgewise...

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!"   "NO ONE COMES TO SEE ME ANYMORE!"

"COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND PICK ME UP!!"

"I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS MY HEALTH OR ANYTHING OVER THE PHONE!"

When Dad inhaled or took a breath, Mom gently explained she was working in the house at the moment... and Dad blasted back at her, ' DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME! I SAID TO COME AND PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

She could hear Dad yelling at someone, (probably the poor nurse) tellng her how mad he was...then the nurse came on the line and explained Dad had been "upset and not himself" most of the day... She reassured Mom, Dad was fine, and they would calm him down...

Obviously, Mom was very upset and very shaken.  It has been a long time since Dad has done this...

My second the youngest brother emailed her and was so sweet and supportive, letting her know he would go visit Dad in the morning.  My sister said she would go too.  I spoke with Mom briefly as we had company.  We all told her the same thing, not to take it personally...but we all know how easy that is to say, but know only too well, how difficult it is to be on the receiving end when Dad gets like that...

Ooooohhhhhh my achin' jaw...

I think I have what they call "a dry socket" from my extraction last Tuesday, the 13th...I followed their instructions to the letter...(although they gave them verbally and did not give me a hand out)...

I had my teeth cleaned two days later...(had to reschedule the cleaning from Tuesday when I had the tooth pulled, due to appointments to show our house, so I had to find a dog sitter for Izzy...)

My mouth was sore at the injection site, but instead of getting better, the pain has spread down closer to my extraction site.  Somewhere, some how, I have lost my "blood clot", hence, the "dry socket".

I don't want to go back to that quack.  He charges for every little thing.  No doubt he will charge for "an emergency treatment".  The LAST THING I want, is for him to give me another injection!!!  I have never had a more uncomfortable experience with an injection!!!  He shocked my tongue twice and vibrated his hand while injecting me, like he was jack hammering!  I thought he was nervous or having a palsy twitch or something.  GAWD!!!  It was wierd!

I am going to try light rinsing with salt water... Man!!, I do NOT WANT to go back to this numb-skull!!!

Posting of House Hunting CALI trip and updates...

I have posted the CALI trip posts...so start on April 8th and read forward to April 11th...

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I had my tooth pulled yesterday...well, the root of the tooth that broke off to the gumline, when they removed my loose bridge.  Before I left for my appointment, I got a phone call from a male Realtor wanting to show a male client our home.  Instead of leaving Izzy, I took her to doggie day care at the Boarding place while I was at the Dentists and running errands.

Picked her up afterward, came home and we both took a nap.  My husband came home and made us all dinner...

This morning, while walking Izzy, the same Realtor who showed our home over the weekend, came by again to show the house, and the male realtor from yesterday, is having his client's wife fly in today to view the house again.  Immediately, my stomach dropped and giant manta rays were flying into the sides of my stomach, making me feel nauseous....

Panic attacks used to be a curse of my past, but now, they are raising their ugly heads, chasing me again...

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Mom got a phone call message on her machine today about Dad.  They told her Dad had lost 5 pounds and had a cut on his toe. 

I thought he looked more gaunt on my last visit.

Mom is going to call the nursing home or go in to see what is going on...

Once again...they are back to NOT CALLING ME!!!

Reverse Mortgages and celebrating "us"...Mom visited Dad...

The best thing about today, is, we felt better than yesterday...and celebrated our first meeting 10 years ago...

We decided to research the facts of a Reverse Mortgage...and found out we could stay in our present home or buy a new one, and not have a house payment...

We picked up Izzy from Boarding, and were so happy to see her little face!

Izzy and I went for a long, long walk and called it a day...

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Mom went to visit Dad today after she got off work.  Today was exceptionally windy.  The parking lot was full, so Mom had to park in the street and walk a couple blocks.  Dad was sitting in his wheel chair, near the nursing station.  He grinned widely when he saw Mom coming down the hallway toward him...

They chatted a few minutes, then Mom suggested they go talk in the alcove by the security doors, since it was too windy for the patio. 

Mom listened intently as Dad told her how he was working for the Fire Dept and was in charge of training and hiring.  He told her all the men have to report to him.  Dad was in high spirits and full imagination!

One of the nurses stopped by and gave Mom a hug and flirted with Dad.  Dad flirted shameless back with her, apologizing at forgetting her name.  He told her he would call her her "Pickles".  (Her name is Olivia)  Olvia grinned back and gave Dad a hint..."Olives"....Dad looked confused, so Mom helped Dad by telling him, "Olivia" and Dad roared with laughter, thinking that was so clever.

Dad's Angel, Doctor-Doctor, stopped by, again passing out hugs to Mom and joking with Dad about keeping an eye on him.  Dad just LOVES it when his Angel tells him that...and it always makes him chuckle with joy.

Dad's legs and feet look really good.  They were "normal" looking to me when my husband and I visited.  So glad his circulation seems to be better.  Guess him staying off his feet and resting more is helping immensely.

The Aide came to take Dad for his shower, so Mom kissed him good bye and went home.  She told us how pleasant their visit had been and how relieved she was that Dad was in such a great mood.  We are all so pleased with how content he appears to be...

Migraines and acid stomach...

Our Agent called us early this morning to tell us she had nothing else to show us.  She encouraged us to consider the new home communtiy we had seen in Hemet.  (We were so depressed with the resales we had seen yesterday, we stopped in to refresh our spirits, before winding up the day...)

The homes are built after purchase. They were priced $30,000 more than our budget. We noted the prices had dropped a good $5,000 since our last visit in September, 2009.  The builder was offering a $20,000 incentive toward upgrades to use their lender, 1.5% toward closing costs and a $10,000 tax break if purchases as a primary residence between May 1 and December 31, 2010.  If we purchased one, it would be ready in September....when my youngest daughter is due to deliver.

We were so depressed, I had the beginnings of a Migraine and my husband had a royal stomach ache.  We both felt nauseous.

We had planned on coming home on Monday, but instead, decided to leave for Nevada today so my husband could have one day to relax before returning to work on Tuesday...

To say our house hunt was disappointing...would be an understatement.

When I checked our messages, we discovered we had one showing the entire 4 days we were gone...

Obviously, we were totally unprepared...

In the last two days we probably averaged over 20 houses per day.  We found absolutely nothing we wanted to bid on.  99% of the homes are foreclosures or short sales.  What appeared to look promising in the online or flyer pictures, were the opposite in person.  Suffice it to say, there was some very creative photo taking by those agents!

We obvioulsy were totally unprepared for the condition of the housing market.... We would plug our noses entering many of the homes, observing the devastation and noting anything worth taking, had been removed from the house.  Often, the key was missing from the lock box, or agents would not return our calls.  The Lender and our Agent advised us to put "our best offer up front" to "win" a home.  They suggested starting with a minimum of $10,000 over the asking price.... We would not have given .02 cents for any of them!!

One home in Sun City, had an incredible back yard.  Done so tastefully like a meditation garden... but the house smelled of a foul odor, that none of us could identify...much more than, putrid!

It has been a very depressing, discouraging and disillusioning two days....

Look into my eyes....

My husband and I got to Dad's nursing home around 2:15pm.  We got a later start than we had planned. We slept in, reviewed houses our Realtor emailed us, and went out to breakfast.  I was a bit leery about how Dad would be the later the day progressed...

When we arrived, Dad was asleep.  I figured he would be after his lunch.  I asked the nurse how long he had been asleep, and he told me about an hour.  We went into his room, and I went beside his bed and began stroking his face.  His eyes fluttered open...When he saw me, he just lit up with excitement and love, "aaaaahhhhhh" noises. Made me feel like a million bucks!!

I raised the bed so he could see my husband, telling Dad, "Look who else is here...". When Dad saw my husband, he called out his name and held out his arms.  He just LOVES my husband!  Dad was animated and alert with conversation...

He told us he was ready to come to Las Vegas and do some serious gambling and have lots of fun.  We all laughed at his exurberance!  He barely ended that sentence and he was beginning his next about him having a very important job of guarding everyone.  Lots of patriotic, honoring the flag, and doing his duty talk....

Next, he began to discuss the movie he is making and he explained his process of how he picks out just the right star for each roll.  He told us how hornie he was and how he enjoys all the beautiful women.  He told us he had quite a long string of woman there at the home...he loves to flirt and they flirt back!

He complimented me on my blouse.  I always wear blue when I visit him, because blue, especially torquoise blue, is his favorite color.  As he looked up into my face, he held my gaze and then told me he was going to look into my eyes... So we had a stare down.  I got closer and closer to him, all the while keeping my gaze into his eyes.  Finally I was so close, I kissed him on the mouth.  Dad burst into a joyful exclaimation, "THAT'S WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!"  We all laughed... He kept it up and so did I....it was our little game the rest of the visit...

I noticed my middle finger of my right hand, is crooked with arthritis, just like his, and brought it to his attention.  Dad asked Jerry if he had any crooked fingers, and my husband, held up his hands, showing Dad he had no crooked fingers.  Dad shouted, "YOU HAVE EXCELLENT FINGERS!" and then Dad  rolled with laughter.  Something tickeled his funny bone and he had us laughing just as hard.

Whenever there was a lull in our conversation, my husband would hold up his hands and show Dad his excellent fingers and Dad would again, break into a belly laugh!

Dad was so positive and happy.  He told us how Blessed he was and how well they treated him.  He thought of all of them as his family and loved them all very much... Especially, Doctor Doctor, his Angel and someone, who has a little squeaky voice on the night shift.  He really loves her too.

He asked if we could go somewhere to eat. Knowing his just finished lunch, and dinner would be in an hour, I told him it was too hot outside.  My husband asked if he would like a strawberry shake and of course, Dad was definitely up for that!  Dad said he would like to treat us, but he hadn't any money.
I told him he was so lucky not to have to mess with money and told him how much distain I had for it.

While my husband went for the strawberry shake, Dad explained how wealthy he was.  He told me of his plans to get a big truck like my youngest brother's.  We played the stare down to a kiss and he confessed he hypnotizes all the girls hoping they will kiss him like I do.  His skin is the smoothest I have even felt.  Dad has always had dry, leather type skin, as long as I can remember...  He was always scratching it because it was so dry.  Now, his skin is soft and smooth.  I really enjoy touching him, and he enjoys it too!  When I complimented him on his skin, he told me how wonderful it is when the girls come in to rub him all over with the lotion.  He closed his eyes and made "aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" noises, just remembering it...

When my husband returned with the shake, Dad was like a little kid.  Dad told us there was nothing like ice cream on a hot day.  I removed the cherry from the top of the shake and held it up to him to eat like a King and he snapped it off the cherry stem, relishing its sweet taste with a smile...

He told us how he loves to compliment people and tell them positive things, because people need to hear those things when they have low self worth.  I told Dad he has always come from a place of love and I am sure he makes a big difference in their lives, as he has in mine.

I brought up some happy memories on things he has taught me and all of us.  I told him how appreciative I am for all the wonderful things he has shared with me and taught me.  He told me how much that meant to him.

After Dad finished his shake, we took him out on the patio.  It was absolutely gorgeous outside.  The breeze whispered through two huge trees on the patio.  We discussed how they should put a huge hammcok between the two trees.  There was an Easter Bunny mask lying on the table.  The staff had them hanging in the fruit trees to scare the birds.  Dad picked up the mask and put it on his face, laughing and giggling like a child.  I told him to keep it on so I could take a picture.  We all got a big kick out of it. Here's Dad with and without the  mask.... He was in the best of spirits...it was such a joyous visit!

Whenever Dad is outside, he talks of outer space and how he loves to go high into the stratesphere.  He explained what a perspective it can give.  He told us many people don't think to look out the windows of airplanes to really see and appreciate what they have.  He was full of philosophy and theories.  We sat back and enjoyed listening to his enthusiam.

I found myself thinking how wonderful it was that he could "be in his imagination" and entertain himself so well.  It made me love my Dad even more...

We talked of memories and special times.  I told him one of my very best moments was marrying my husband and Dad walking me down the isle.  I told him what a dream come true that had been.  He smiled a big warm smile telling me how important it had been to him too... We remembered our Father/Daughter dance to Bye Bye Blackbird...

I called my brother in Ohio, knowing there was three hour time difference, I hoped he was just about getting home... Unfortunately, he was still at work, but wanted to speak with Dad anyway.  I put the phone up to Dad's good ear, and bent over by his bad ear, so I could hear the two way conversation.  If my brother says something, that Dad does not hear, I can whisper into his good ear, guiding him to answer questions...

They enjoyed a great conversation.  It made me smile thinking of my brother on the other end of the line and hearing Dad in such great spirits.  I whispered to remind Dad my brother was still at work, and could not talk much longer...so Dad begin to tell him good bye...telling him he loved him so very much...and my brother, loving him back...

Dad is incontinent of both bowel and bladder.  This was one of his biggest challenges and most difficult hurdles.  I have always admired Dad being so fastidious in his personal hygiene and style of dress.  My Dad was always stylishly dressed and smelling so clean.  He still smells fresh and clean.  He really struggled with his incontinence and fought it viamently when he was first hospitalized.  The nurses were busy, but I did not want my Dad's high caliber of personal hygiene to be compromised anymore than it had to be...  I became like Shirley McClain in Terms of Endearment when her daughter, Debra Winger was in pain and needed an injection.  I made a GIANT issue of it and dogged the nurses until they knew it was easier to change him quickly than to suffer my persistence! I would give the nurses and aides, in the nursing home, an A+ in how they honor the patient's dignity and respect in this highly personal area.

For the most part, Dad has come to terms with the fact the nurses and aides must aid him with the most personally private daily functions.  I think that is one reason he feels so close to them...how could he not? Dad is begining to have humor about it.  He told us, "There is no mystery with my physique now... everyone has seen my nakedness.  That's just the way it is...."

He said how important it was to feel love from both ends...  and then he realized what he said...and began to chuckle...so we laughed with him.  I helped, in suggesting, "You mean from both sides?"  He knodded his head yes, and laughed, saying,"That sounded much better. " Then he burst out laughing again in a full belly laugh and we did too!

After awhile, he looked a bit sad...as if we might think less of him.  He looked at us and told us how difficult it was with such a private thing... and I agreed. Since he was in such good spirits, told him, "Dad, you don't live in your diapers, you live in your head".  Dad threw his head back and burst into the biggest belly laugh of the day...telling us how true that was and he had to remember that one...

Before he could return to feeling down, I held his gaze and told him he was "hypnotizing me again" and he smiled and returned my gaze.  He hugged me as I kissed him again...and again...and again...

Off to California...

Hey everyone...will be checking in the next five days.  We leave tomorrow for CALI and will return on Monday...

Going house hunting, so we will see what we can find...and in the evenings spend time with the family, kids, and grand kids.  We are going to visit Dad and Mom on Thursday...

Wish us luck...we're gonna' need it, because so far, the pickings seem pretty slim...Here's hopin' a good house becomes available and we get a good offer on our home...

The adventure begins...

A man who says what he feels...

Mom and my sister went to visit Dad yesterday.  They found him in the lunch room.  Dad was sitting at a table with another lady resident, who thinks Dad is her Papa.  Dad was sitting with his eyes closed.  My sister reached him first and began to gently massage his shoulders.  Dad's face lit up with a huge, happy smile.  Mom stood in front of him and asked if he could open his eyes... Dad replied, "I hear the voice of my dear wife" and opened his eyes, looking at her with love...

They asked if he would enjoy going out on the patio and Dad heartily responded with a strong, deep voiced, "SURE!"  My sister had brought him an Easter card and a small gift for his Angel...

As they weaved in between some others in their wheelchair, they all settled at one of the patio tables.  Sitting with them was another resident, an 82 year hispanic gentleman. They asked him if he had a big family and he told them he only had six sons and three daughters...he was only there for high blood pressure. He told them how much he liked Dad because of how smart Dad is.

The interns were sitting at another table studying.  A young, pretty intern joined the others at the table and Dad watched her as she walked to the table and sat down.  Dad announced he gets EXCITED when he sees beautiful women.  They all laughed.  The other gentleman commented, "I like him.  He says what I think."

The Aides served Dad and the other gentleman their lunches outside on the patio.  Mom, my sister, Dad and the gentleman all chatted.  One of the girls brought  Dad his favorite fruit plate.  He smiled at her and began to flirt with her.  She told Dad, "You better not fuss over me too much, or Doctor-Doctor will be jealous."  Dad threw his head back and burst into a tremendous belly laugh for, what seemed like, five minutes!

After he finished his lunch, Dad suddenly asked Mom, "What was the most important thing to her as a Mother, in raising their boys."  Mom corrected him, reminding him of their two daughters... Mom told Dad that raising her children was her favorite part.  Dad paused and said, "Ah, yes, Donna..." (My sister was so gracious, not taking offense that she was not mentioned; because she knows how much Dad loves her.)  Dad told Mom she had a very difficult time raising me and how he had to do everything for me...
Then Dad broke out singing, "Pack up all your cares and woe, here we go, Bye Bye Blackbird..."
(My Dad always sang that song to me, as a child to comfort me, and growing up.  It has always been our song.  We danced to it at my wedding...)  Dad's singing made my sister smile. ( I love her so very much for sharing this with me. )

The Aides came to give Dad his shower, so Mom and my sister chatted some more with the nice gentleman on the patio.  When Dad returned, he was well groomed, looking good, smelling fresh and clean from his shower.  Dad told Mom and my sister he was tired and wanted to take a nap.  My sister kissed him and told him how much she loved him.  He looked at her with his kind, loving, baby blues, and told her, "I KNOW you do!". Which made my sister smile again...

Happy Easter Dad...God Bless and keep you...

Just listed our home...

Our Agent just placed

a lock box on our front door.  

Our home will be listed on 31 internet sites.
The paperwork is signed.

                                                          

The sign goes up Monday....

and I can't stop crying...

Disconnecting

has always been

a big challenge

for me...

***********
 

I just read a wonderful, poetic, uplifting comment from Jerry at http://gentlysaid.blogspot.com/  (on my other blog ) which was so apropos for the mood I was in... check out his blog, you will be glad you did....