Today I was finishing off the last two bags of shredding from Dad's room and I came across this thank you letter to Dad from the Senior Pastor at his church...
July 15, 2003
Dear Don,
I wanted to drop you a quick note to tell you that a patient at F_____ P_____ Hospital named W......... L......... called me to tell me what an outstanding job you do serving as a chaplain at the hospital. He recently was in for a second eye surgery and greatly appreciated your spending time with him. He commented on your gentle, assuring manner and the spiritual strength you gave him.
God Bless you, Don, for using your spiritual gifts to help others by communicating Christ's love to those who are in a stressful situation and need the peace that Jesus offers.
In Christ,
T...... T.......
Senior Pastor
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Challenges in the blueprint of living and giving...
Spoke with Dad over the phone today...he was very interested in colors and what they mean. He talked of blueprints we must follow. How living is giving. The challenges he must face each day. These were the main themes repeated through our conversation. As always, he still is trusting in the Lord's plan. He mentioned my youngest brother twice, my second to the oldest brother about four times and Mom, too many times to count.
Computers are connections and so are people we love. Some times it is scary to put his faith in the Lord. He has a magnetic condition he can't control... He can relate to Vets and sees combinations of names...
When I asked if Mom had visited him today, he told me she had, and she would be there throughout the day. I asked if his television was connected and he said it was, but when I checked later, I was told it wasn't. He asked me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some milk. After we hung up, I called and asked the CNA if she would order him a sandwich from the kitchen. She told me he would be eating soon, and I reassured her he would definitely finish his dinner.
I asked Dad if he would like me to paint him a picture with beautiful colors and movement in it and he told me "that would be wonderful! I would like that..." I will bring it to him in a couple of weeks when my husband and I go out to visit him.
Mom came to visit at lunch time to watch Dad devour turkey, gravy, stuffing, veggies, potatoes, apple cake, ice cream, coffee and milk. He was still hungry, so Mom gave him two more 100 calorie snack packs. Dad continued to sit and stare at his tray as if he stared at it long enough, more food would reappear. Mom asked him if he was still hungry, and of course he was so she ordered him a fruit plate. When it arrived, Dad finished off a large scoop of cottage cheese, a banana, sliced apples and sliced pears! Mom gave him his 12 almonds a bag of Cheez-its and he inhaled that as well.
She has a tough time when Dad does not make any sense. She doesn't know what to say, and gets upset when he ignores her or does not answer her questions. For me, it is easier to just let him talk, briefly comment, but just to listen to him.
His nurse is so kind. He clearly has so much compassion for Dad. He called to tell me after we talked on the phone, Dad seemed angry. Dad was still holding the phone with his mouth clenched like he was angry. The nurse took the phone and no one was there so he hung up. He asked Dad if he was in pain and Dad was fine.
God Bless these wonderful, kind individuals who extend their gentleness and care to patients who once were strangers, and now are treated like their own family members...
Computers are connections and so are people we love. Some times it is scary to put his faith in the Lord. He has a magnetic condition he can't control... He can relate to Vets and sees combinations of names...
When I asked if Mom had visited him today, he told me she had, and she would be there throughout the day. I asked if his television was connected and he said it was, but when I checked later, I was told it wasn't. He asked me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some milk. After we hung up, I called and asked the CNA if she would order him a sandwich from the kitchen. She told me he would be eating soon, and I reassured her he would definitely finish his dinner.
I asked Dad if he would like me to paint him a picture with beautiful colors and movement in it and he told me "that would be wonderful! I would like that..." I will bring it to him in a couple of weeks when my husband and I go out to visit him.
Mom came to visit at lunch time to watch Dad devour turkey, gravy, stuffing, veggies, potatoes, apple cake, ice cream, coffee and milk. He was still hungry, so Mom gave him two more 100 calorie snack packs. Dad continued to sit and stare at his tray as if he stared at it long enough, more food would reappear. Mom asked him if he was still hungry, and of course he was so she ordered him a fruit plate. When it arrived, Dad finished off a large scoop of cottage cheese, a banana, sliced apples and sliced pears! Mom gave him his 12 almonds a bag of Cheez-its and he inhaled that as well.
She has a tough time when Dad does not make any sense. She doesn't know what to say, and gets upset when he ignores her or does not answer her questions. For me, it is easier to just let him talk, briefly comment, but just to listen to him.
His nurse is so kind. He clearly has so much compassion for Dad. He called to tell me after we talked on the phone, Dad seemed angry. Dad was still holding the phone with his mouth clenched like he was angry. The nurse took the phone and no one was there so he hung up. He asked Dad if he was in pain and Dad was fine.
God Bless these wonderful, kind individuals who extend their gentleness and care to patients who once were strangers, and now are treated like their own family members...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Man, it's hot...
My brothers are all doing their Fantasy Football, an annual event with their friends. I Talked to Mom and my sister. Both of them are sweltering in the heat...Mom is busy going through Dad's stuff, trying to get it organized and boxed up. Last night my niece and brother were there helping to get the room cleaned out so they can begin painting.
We had planned on doing that for Dad back in May, but he was laid up with his rapid heartbeat and leg ulcers. Ironic how things worked out so my niece can move in, help, and keep Mom company.
Both my husband and I are feeling the effects of the heat...it is miserable out there! We watched Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral this morning. What a tribute to man, patriot and father.
Tonight we are going out with friends for dinner at Dan's Famous BBQ and to see Post Graduate. Wish it would cool off at night. Unlike California, it stays in the high 80's at night...just miserable. Thank goodness for air conditioning in cars, restaurants and movie theatres....
We had planned on doing that for Dad back in May, but he was laid up with his rapid heartbeat and leg ulcers. Ironic how things worked out so my niece can move in, help, and keep Mom company.
Both my husband and I are feeling the effects of the heat...it is miserable out there! We watched Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral this morning. What a tribute to man, patriot and father.
Tonight we are going out with friends for dinner at Dan's Famous BBQ and to see Post Graduate. Wish it would cool off at night. Unlike California, it stays in the high 80's at night...just miserable. Thank goodness for air conditioning in cars, restaurants and movie theatres....
Friday, August 28, 2009
Loving Dad and keeping him comfortable and safe...
Mom went to visit Dad today. She found him sitting in a wheel chair, in the dining room of the nursing home, eating his lunch. The nurse asked her to wait, because Dad was feeding himself and they wanted him to finish. They had to feed him this morning. So glad to hear they are encouraging Dad as much as possible to do as much for himself as he can.
I called and spoke with the nurse and he assured me Dad is walking some of the time. He had walked down to the dining room for dinner tonight. Typical, Dad is so motivated by food, I guess he feels he will get it a lot quicker by going to the food! He told me Dad's hands were a lot better and that he was feeding himself.
Mom sat in a chair enjoying a cup of coffee the nurse brought her and watched Dad scarf a fish fillet sandwich, mixed veggies, cold slaw, milk, coffee and some pineapple upside down cake.his lunch as if soon someone would come and take it from him.
She wheeled him back to his room and helped him into bed. She read Dad some of his favorite poems, some lyrics to a few of the hymns he used to sing at church and some verses from the Bible. Mom takes it personally when Dad seems more entertained with the border on the wall up near the ceiling. Dad would start talking about negativity and Mom gently re-enforced the positive.
The nursing home has installed Dad's new TV, but it is not hooked up yet. His room mates, "The Laugher" was asleep and "Speedy" was out wandering the hallways, so they had the privacy but Dad was preoccupied with the wall paper border. She quickly got his attention by giving him two bags of cookies, some Cheez-it crackers and some almonds.
Dad sure seems to be more emotionally consistent. He takes his medication without any trouble and is no longer scheming ways to escape...He has a great appetite and still has range of motion. He seems resolved that the nursing home is where he lives now... I just want Dad to know we all love him and feel comfortable, safe and protected.
I called and spoke with the nurse and he assured me Dad is walking some of the time. He had walked down to the dining room for dinner tonight. Typical, Dad is so motivated by food, I guess he feels he will get it a lot quicker by going to the food! He told me Dad's hands were a lot better and that he was feeding himself.
Mom sat in a chair enjoying a cup of coffee the nurse brought her and watched Dad scarf a fish fillet sandwich, mixed veggies, cold slaw, milk, coffee and some pineapple upside down cake.his lunch as if soon someone would come and take it from him.
She wheeled him back to his room and helped him into bed. She read Dad some of his favorite poems, some lyrics to a few of the hymns he used to sing at church and some verses from the Bible. Mom takes it personally when Dad seems more entertained with the border on the wall up near the ceiling. Dad would start talking about negativity and Mom gently re-enforced the positive.
The nursing home has installed Dad's new TV, but it is not hooked up yet. His room mates, "The Laugher" was asleep and "Speedy" was out wandering the hallways, so they had the privacy but Dad was preoccupied with the wall paper border. She quickly got his attention by giving him two bags of cookies, some Cheez-it crackers and some almonds.
Dad sure seems to be more emotionally consistent. He takes his medication without any trouble and is no longer scheming ways to escape...He has a great appetite and still has range of motion. He seems resolved that the nursing home is where he lives now... I just want Dad to know we all love him and feel comfortable, safe and protected.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Time for sleep...
I have not been sleeping well lately. Been going to bed between 2am and 4am and getting up at 7:30am. Been up late blogging or discovering new blogs. It's quite addicting actually...
Not healthy for body or mind to neglect sleep...I read that somewhere lately...I need to recharge...
Spent the day running errands for myself and my husband. Came home and made phone calls. Some where after that I must have sat down, because I fell asleep.
My husband went grocery shopping after work and I put everything away. We went out to Claims Jumper for dinner. They had a promotion fund raiser where by, the total of the meal is multiplied by 15% and the restaurant donates that amount to Diabetes. We thought it was a good cause, and an opportunity to go out on a little date...
Now we are home, and it is too late to call Dad. No one called or emailed any visits with Dad, so I guess it is time for sleep. My eyes can't focus anyway...I am soooooooooo tired....zzzzzzzzzzzz
Not healthy for body or mind to neglect sleep...I read that somewhere lately...I need to recharge...
Spent the day running errands for myself and my husband. Came home and made phone calls. Some where after that I must have sat down, because I fell asleep.
My husband went grocery shopping after work and I put everything away. We went out to Claims Jumper for dinner. They had a promotion fund raiser where by, the total of the meal is multiplied by 15% and the restaurant donates that amount to Diabetes. We thought it was a good cause, and an opportunity to go out on a little date...
Now we are home, and it is too late to call Dad. No one called or emailed any visits with Dad, so I guess it is time for sleep. My eyes can't focus anyway...I am soooooooooo tired....zzzzzzzzzzzz
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Dad can sure put away the groceries...
My youngest brother went to visit Dad on his lunch hour. He sent the family an email of his visit and I got such a kick out of it, I wanted to share it with you all. I called him to ask if I could cut and paste it to my blog. We chatted for awhile and he elaborated a bit more of his visit, so I will include that as well. (For some reason I could not get the cut and paste to work, so I must re-type it. Hopefully it won't lose any of his humor and charm in my translation...
Family: I went to visit Pops today. I found him in the lunch room eating along with about 40 or 50 other people. Some were eating and most were watching TV. When I broke out the ice cold chocolate shake and the juicy cheeseburger, all eyes were glued on me and Dad!
I mean, I feel bad that I did not have enough to go around... the way they were all lookin' at me...but hey, I am here for my Pops, I gotta' take care of him. I wheeled him out to the patio so he could have some privacy and no one would try to snag his food.
Here is what he ate for lunch:
Jack n the Box cheeseburger
Jack n the Box chocolate shake
Bag of trail mix from Costco
Beef Stew
Peas and cheese dish
Baked potato
Side of carrots
Glass of milk
Glass of water
Ice cream
I got full, just watching him eat it! The kicker is, he fed himself 90% of it and it took him about 8 minutes to finish it all! I think he just "stamped" the food with his teeth and swallowed!
He was in a real positive mind set.
He said he needed to keep the faith, stay positive and appreciate each day. He said he really enjoyed his visit with Mom and " _____ Doll" last night.
I had discussed some things with Dad about how we all need to appreciate each day that God gives to us and he really latched on to that. I also told him, being at the nursing home, is away from "The Rat Race of Negativity" in the outside world. In many ways, it is really a very peaceful place.
I also told him to keep it simple and to remember the small things and the memories. I pointed out one green tomato on a tomato plant growing in a planter on the patio where Dad had just devastated his lunch. I reminded him of when he used to empty the fridge building me a huge "Dagwood" sandwich (the best lunch ever!). Dad smiled and said he remembered...
When he was workin' the trail mix, like it was the last bag on earth, and he had 18 seconds to finish it off; I asked if he remembered when he would eat nuts and how he used to shake them in his hand before tossing them into his mouth. Dad smiled, and the next batch he took in his hand, he did it. It was a Classic moment, and made us both laugh...
I heard the crazy cackle from the guy in bed one...(he could nail down the bucks in a haunted house!) I met Dad's newest room mate in bed two, he spilled his milk from his lunch tray. I soaked up the milk on his tray and bed. He spilled some on his PJ's on the outside of his leg and asked me to clean that too. I told him, "You're GOOD buddy" and left him a stack of paper towels. Funny guy...LOL...(He better save that trick for the pretty nurses...)
I lifted Dad out of his wheel chair to help him into bed, and as I did, he tensed up and keep repeating, "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" (it reminded me of Ray in RAINMAN) I reassured him, making sure he knew I would not let him fall. Got him all squared away, hugged him, gave him a whisker rub and told him I loved him. I asked if he was comfortable and he smiled and told me was.
That's all for now, heading to Vegas tomorrow morning. And Donna, it is just a turn around, I come back home Friday morning.
This was a GREAT visit!
Love you all,
E____
Not only did my brother allow me to experience his visit through his eyes, but he made my day with his own unique way of telling a story. God has over Blessed our family with humor and togetherness. We are a family of great Faith and belief in God. It is one of our greatest strengths. Together, we use our humor for the good times and to get through the difficult ones...
Family: I went to visit Pops today. I found him in the lunch room eating along with about 40 or 50 other people. Some were eating and most were watching TV. When I broke out the ice cold chocolate shake and the juicy cheeseburger, all eyes were glued on me and Dad!
I mean, I feel bad that I did not have enough to go around... the way they were all lookin' at me...but hey, I am here for my Pops, I gotta' take care of him. I wheeled him out to the patio so he could have some privacy and no one would try to snag his food.
Here is what he ate for lunch:
Jack n the Box cheeseburger
Jack n the Box chocolate shake
Bag of trail mix from Costco
Beef Stew
Peas and cheese dish
Baked potato
Side of carrots
Glass of milk
Glass of water
Ice cream
I got full, just watching him eat it! The kicker is, he fed himself 90% of it and it took him about 8 minutes to finish it all! I think he just "stamped" the food with his teeth and swallowed!
He was in a real positive mind set.
He said he needed to keep the faith, stay positive and appreciate each day. He said he really enjoyed his visit with Mom and " _____ Doll" last night.
I had discussed some things with Dad about how we all need to appreciate each day that God gives to us and he really latched on to that. I also told him, being at the nursing home, is away from "The Rat Race of Negativity" in the outside world. In many ways, it is really a very peaceful place.
I also told him to keep it simple and to remember the small things and the memories. I pointed out one green tomato on a tomato plant growing in a planter on the patio where Dad had just devastated his lunch. I reminded him of when he used to empty the fridge building me a huge "Dagwood" sandwich (the best lunch ever!). Dad smiled and said he remembered...
When he was workin' the trail mix, like it was the last bag on earth, and he had 18 seconds to finish it off; I asked if he remembered when he would eat nuts and how he used to shake them in his hand before tossing them into his mouth. Dad smiled, and the next batch he took in his hand, he did it. It was a Classic moment, and made us both laugh...
I heard the crazy cackle from the guy in bed one...(he could nail down the bucks in a haunted house!) I met Dad's newest room mate in bed two, he spilled his milk from his lunch tray. I soaked up the milk on his tray and bed. He spilled some on his PJ's on the outside of his leg and asked me to clean that too. I told him, "You're GOOD buddy" and left him a stack of paper towels. Funny guy...LOL...(He better save that trick for the pretty nurses...)
I lifted Dad out of his wheel chair to help him into bed, and as I did, he tensed up and keep repeating, "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" (it reminded me of Ray in RAINMAN) I reassured him, making sure he knew I would not let him fall. Got him all squared away, hugged him, gave him a whisker rub and told him I loved him. I asked if he was comfortable and he smiled and told me was.
That's all for now, heading to Vegas tomorrow morning. And Donna, it is just a turn around, I come back home Friday morning.
This was a GREAT visit!
Love you all,
E____
Not only did my brother allow me to experience his visit through his eyes, but he made my day with his own unique way of telling a story. God has over Blessed our family with humor and togetherness. We are a family of great Faith and belief in God. It is one of our greatest strengths. Together, we use our humor for the good times and to get through the difficult ones...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Dad's playing cards and doing math...
My sister and Mom went to visit Dad after my sister got off work. When they came into his room, he was sitting in a wheelchair, staring out the window. I wonder why Dad was in a wheelchair? I hope one of my brothers take him out for a walk around, on their next visit. I get so worried he will lose his strength if he spends so much time in bed.
Dad has a new room mate. Mom and my sister call him "Speedy" because he talks non-stop. My sister went up to Dad and gently started to rub his shoulders so she wouldn't startle him. She faced him, greeting him with , "Hi Dad". Dad looked at her and said, "Hi Donna". Mom chirped in with "Guess again..." and then he recognized her, calling her by his pet name for her.
Mom brought Dad a magazine and my sister brought Dad a deck of cards. He used to incorporate them in a game he was devoted to prior to going into the hospital. He impressed her with his memory of the suits of the cards. She tested him by asking him what 6 plus 4 was and he responded "10...and 10 more is 20".
She has decided to bring something to interact with and interest Dad, instead of just sitting and chatting. She video taped him as well. We all feel the need to document things with Dad. We want to record everything, as everything with Dad is very precious.
We have decided to make a photo album for Dad with every one's picture in it. When we visit, we can bring it out and see who he can identify, and we can also use it to reference family when we share family news. I think Dad will enjoy just looking through it as well. I think it will keep him company.
As I watched the video of Dad, my first reaction, is Dad's short hair. I don't like it. I got used to his Clint Eastwood look. I think it suited him better. Now he looks like a "patient". His eyes seem so sunken in and his poor left hand...even the knuckles look as swollen as his hand.
Dad is curious. He wants to investigate everything. He loves to tinker and just enjoys the tactile experience and the mental challenge of figuring how things work. I watched his swollen fingers collect the cards and handle them... I smiled when he smiled when he held them. I know he will have fun entertaining himself...or coaxing one of the CNAs to play a game of cards.
Dad used to be a Magician and used cards in his act. Oh how he would entertain us with his magic tricks! I could see that spark in his eyes, as if he was thinking back and remembering how good it felt to hold those cards in his hands...
Tears come to my eyes as I write. I just sense his time is getting closer. I don't want to lose my Dad. It is so difficult to think of him not being in this world. I know he will always be in our hearts, but not hearing his wonderful voice and feeling his hugs.... just breaks my heart.
It just wrenches my guts out to watch this wonderful, kind, gentle, sweetheart of a man, wither away. Despite his example of having peace and calm in the midst of all this hell, just speaks volumes about the man we all love and know as our Dad...
Dad has a new room mate. Mom and my sister call him "Speedy" because he talks non-stop. My sister went up to Dad and gently started to rub his shoulders so she wouldn't startle him. She faced him, greeting him with , "Hi Dad". Dad looked at her and said, "Hi Donna". Mom chirped in with "Guess again..." and then he recognized her, calling her by his pet name for her.
Mom brought Dad a magazine and my sister brought Dad a deck of cards. He used to incorporate them in a game he was devoted to prior to going into the hospital. He impressed her with his memory of the suits of the cards. She tested him by asking him what 6 plus 4 was and he responded "10...and 10 more is 20".
She has decided to bring something to interact with and interest Dad, instead of just sitting and chatting. She video taped him as well. We all feel the need to document things with Dad. We want to record everything, as everything with Dad is very precious.
We have decided to make a photo album for Dad with every one's picture in it. When we visit, we can bring it out and see who he can identify, and we can also use it to reference family when we share family news. I think Dad will enjoy just looking through it as well. I think it will keep him company.
As I watched the video of Dad, my first reaction, is Dad's short hair. I don't like it. I got used to his Clint Eastwood look. I think it suited him better. Now he looks like a "patient". His eyes seem so sunken in and his poor left hand...even the knuckles look as swollen as his hand.
Dad is curious. He wants to investigate everything. He loves to tinker and just enjoys the tactile experience and the mental challenge of figuring how things work. I watched his swollen fingers collect the cards and handle them... I smiled when he smiled when he held them. I know he will have fun entertaining himself...or coaxing one of the CNAs to play a game of cards.
Dad used to be a Magician and used cards in his act. Oh how he would entertain us with his magic tricks! I could see that spark in his eyes, as if he was thinking back and remembering how good it felt to hold those cards in his hands...
Tears come to my eyes as I write. I just sense his time is getting closer. I don't want to lose my Dad. It is so difficult to think of him not being in this world. I know he will always be in our hearts, but not hearing his wonderful voice and feeling his hugs.... just breaks my heart.
It just wrenches my guts out to watch this wonderful, kind, gentle, sweetheart of a man, wither away. Despite his example of having peace and calm in the midst of all this hell, just speaks volumes about the man we all love and know as our Dad...
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