Got a phone call from Hospice. Told me Dad still weighs 133 pounds. She visited him while he was sleeping. His blood pressure was 131/81, heart rate 84, respiration 17, oxygen at 95% with all vital sign good and no problems with his bowels. She reported the nurses say Dad gets grouchy if he is waken in bed and during activities, Dad is often frustrated.
I called the nursing home and asked to speak with Dad. He had already finished his lunch and was tucked in bed ready for his nap. When I greeted him with my usual salutation of, "Hi Papa-doots!!" Dad responded by calling me Dolly....then he proceeded to tell me what he would like to do to me in bed...(I will spare you the details)...
He called me by my sister's name and continued with the same type of talk...
I told him it was me, Donna....and still, more xxx-rated talk...
I could hear the nurse trying to tell Dad, "It is your daughter on the phone..."
I could hear her ask him to hold the phone...
"Hold what?" I heard Dad ask her...
His voice was slurred and lustful..
I could not get him to change his topic for conversation or distract him either, so when the nurse took the phone away from him, I thanked her and told her I would like to let him go to sleep...
I did not hear anything from Dad, so I am sure he probably was ready to fall asleep...maybe he was dreaming out loud...who knows...
To anyone who knows about Alzheimer's, I would interested to hear if this type of talk is normal for men with Alzheimer's...
Both my sister and I get extremely uncomfortable when Dad gets like this...
I am in California and wanted to go visit him with my daughter Jodee and Jerry, my husband...but now I hesitate...it is uncomfortable over the phone, but way worse in person...
This really sucks...
7 comments:
I'm sorry, Donna. That would be really awkward. Hopefully it doesn't happen in person.
Everyone with Alzheimers is different. We usually have at least one person at any time that shows this type of behavior (And we're a small facility). It's usually a man, but we've had several women as well. I don't want you to think this is something that's been in him and he's suppressed either. It's not him - it's the disease. I'm sorry - it really does suck.
So sorry Donna; I can't imagine. I would say if you are that close in California, go and see him. Chances are he won't remember the conversation; but I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to see him.
betty
I am so sorry Donna. I hope that you are able to get some answers.
Yes, it is very common. My daughter cared for her father-in-law and he often made suggestive remarks and stripped off his clothing. Overlook it. It's harmless.
My dad never did this, but when he was in the psychiatric ward for evaluation he had a roommate who was very provocative and sexual. His daughter seemed to be both embarrassed and accepting, said it wasn't near as bad as it had been before they started him on some medication. He did have alzheimers. So sorry for your discomfort, imagine it must be very disconcerting!
You are certainly taking it well.
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