If God Needs A Good Right Hand Man...

I received a phone call from the charge nurse at the nursing home today.  She gave me the preliminary results to Dad's Doppler:

Arteriosclerosis
Bilateral ischemia in his legs
Obstruction in both posterior tibial arteries
Positive for peripheral artery disease (PAD)
Chronic deep vein thrombosis (DVT)

I am still haunted by that nightmare I had about Dad.  There is a standing order for Dad to wear his compression stockings, but Dad hates to wear them.  Some times I feel our agreement not to fight with Dad if he doesn't want to wear them, in a way, gives the nursing home license to just not make it a priority.  In the process, with Dad's bad circulation in his legs, the results above are the outcome. 

When Dad first came to live at the nursing home, he fought taking his medication.  The staff would call and ask our help, telling us due to patient rights, they could not force him.  I would talk to him and we had a talk with Administration about encouraging the nurses to be more creative in getting Dad to take his meds.  They must do the same thing in getting him to wear the stockings.  Maybe one day let it slide, but the next get creative and make it happen.

Mom visited Dad today and discovered he did not have his wrist alarm attached.  When she mentioned it to a new male nurse, she was told Dad did not have a history of roaming.  She promptly told him about Dad getting out and his fall in front of the nursing home.  He got the charge nurse and she said one would be put on Dad today.  I realize there will be new staff, but it is this type of misunderstandings, where I feel I must be vigilant.  I feel details make the difference with everything, especially with Dad's care...

Mom said Dad is still focused on getting some tennis shoes so he can run.  Mom said he was on one of his rampages, where it was all he would talk about with her.  She kept telling him, "it was doctor's orders until his wound heals."

He also believed people were trying to kidnap him, so he was afraid to sleep in his room.  He  had also mentioned it to me while he was in the hospital.  I imagine he is still readjusting on being back where he feels safe.  I bet he felt like he was kidnapped when he was rushed out last week due to his low blood pressure.  In many ways, Dad is like a child now, and does not understand the whys and hows, only how it feels...

Dad also complained about lunch and how he had choked on a bone.  Mom talked to the girls serving lunch and confirmed Dad had devoured his entire boneless fish fillet lunch.  Mom also discovered when Dad told the charge nurse people were trying to kidnap him, she told him not to worry, she would protect him.
I found out Mom had visited Dad when I spoke with the nurse this afternoon.  Mom also had to re-sign all the re-admit paperwork.  I called Mom to find out if she put me down as the first contact, which she did.  She told me Dad's rescheduled Care Conference would be Tuesday, February 1st.  We agreed to bring it up during the conference.
 
Today was one of those days where I was very emotional.  Mom tried to help me calm down, but I was upset.  She mentioned my youngest brother was over for a visit, so I asked to speak with him.  He took his turn at getting me to stop worrying and fretting about Dad.  "Let go, and let God take over", is one of his favorite phrases for advice.  He told me how blessed we are to have Dad for 90 years and the fact Dad believes in the Lord.
 
I agreed with him.  He also suggested a glass of wine, snuggle in on the couch with my husband, and watch a comedy.  To take the weekend "off".... He did his best....but after we hung up, I put my face in my hands and had a good sob.
 
Bottom line, it was that graphic nightmare and guilt for not staying on top of Dad wearing his compression stockings.  He has so many medical issues, I allowed it to fall through the cracks. What if not wearing the stockings ends up causes Dad to lose a limb? Earlier in the day, I wanted to blame the nursing home...but at this late hour, as I am editing my post, I realize both Mom and my brother were right.  I will still continue to be vigilant, because I feel God made me this way for a reason and a purpose...  If nothing else, to be the kind of Mother I have been and the kind of daughter I will continue to be for my Father...
 
I have to remember, Dad had his bad leg circulation long before he went into the nursing home.  The damage has been done.  I have nothing to do with it.  Dad is part of the solution and part of the problem.  If he refuses his stockings, it is not worth forcing him and him freaking out. 
 
All I can do is my best.  I feel I do, and I do it with great love for my Dad.  I know God holds Dad in the palm of His hand.  As my brother said, "If God needs a good right hand man, he will take Dad when He is ready..." I think it is an excellent thought to hold close to my heart...

More Tests For Dad and Being Grateful....

Mom got a phone call from the nursing home this morning, asking her to come in and sign re-admission papers for Dad.  They also told her there is edema around Dad's left pinkie toe, so his doctor is putting him back on Lasix and potassium.

Yesterday, they called to tell me Dad did not have to be isolated for his MRSA, because it had "colonized". I still have not heard back from his primary doctor either...

This afternoon, while my husband and I were at the movies, seeing THE KINGS SPEECH, the nursing home called my cell.  The nurse informed me they would be doing another Doppler study on Dad's legs to check his lower extremity circulation. Dad has horrible circulation. Dad's left pinkie toe is purple.  The test will be done today or tomorrow...

One of the nurses, or staff at the nursing home, told me each time Dad is re-admitted, they keep the pertinent information from the old chart and start a new one... This has always concerned me, as I am afraid some things will be omitted...like calling me first instead of my Mom, like they did this morning...  The next time I visit Dad, I am going to ask to see his chart.

Last night I had a horrible nightmare involving Dad.  I dreamt he had to have his leg amputated.  Dad walked every day of his life...and at one time, he ran in marathons.  He loved to run along the water at the beach.  He always asks for his tennis shoes, because he wants to run... I won't share my dream.  Suffice it to say, it was devastating for Dad...

My sister and I were talking about how difficult it is having Dad in the nursing home, despite the fact we know none of us could care for him the way he needs to be cared for.  We know we have him in the best nursing home for our financial situation.  Regardless of the facts, emotionally, it is so difficult to know, he will never come home again.  The nursing home is now his home...

I have not discussed this difficulty with my brothers, in awhile... It is not a subject easy to discuss.  All my brothers marveled at Dad's physical strength, he alone, could lift things which took three of my brothers.  Dad was always active.  Not until the end before he was admitted to the hospital the first time, would we ever see lying around the house. 

I think it is especially difficult for my brothers to see Dad in a wheel chair and to be so weak.  We each have to cope the best we can.  We lean on one another to get through this difficult journey.  My sister and I talk more often.  Thankfully, when she is down, I am up and vice versa...I think about Dad a lot before I go to bed at night.  Both my sister and I dream of him.  I imagine my brothers do too, but they don't discuss it as often as my sister and I do with one another... It is a great source of emotional drain....

Some days I wrap my head around it all, and can deal with it choosing to see all the positives...then, there are the days, when the phone rings, and I shutter...  I know one day the voice at the nursing home will tell me the one thing I don't want to hear...

Today, we can be grateful he is not in the hospital. 
Today he is back at the nursing home with his friends.
Today he is getting the best of care.
Today he is being cared for by very loving and caring people...
Today, we have our Father.
Today, he knows who we all are.... and that is a lot to be grateful for...

Home At Last, Home At Last...

I past out early last night...Dad was discharged and sent back to the nursing home around 6pm last night.  Apparently he made himself hoarse from all the yelling and screaming he did.  He DID NOT like being restrained...sure can't blame him on that one!

I called over to the nursing home and spoke with the male nurse I usually talk to.  He said Dad had arrived and was so happy to be home.  He was telling everyone and anyone who would listen how he hated it there...

Mom visited Dad this morning.  Dad was in his wheel chair and happy to see her! 

They chatted in Dad's room for a good two hours.  Mom told him everything she was dealing with at the house and what is going on at their church.  Dad loves hearing about their friends.  Dad told Mom he was so glad to be home.  He told her how they tied him to the bed and how sore his arms were from trying to break free.  Mom explained in detail everything the hospital staff was treating Dad for. He was shocked.!  He did not even realize he had the Foley catheter!!!

The physical therapist came in to visit with Dad and asked him if he was ready to resume some exercises.  Dad ask him to help him stand, and then he bent over and touched his toes!

Dad's cough is a lot better.  His blood pressure was 103/62.  His wound on his little toe has opened up again so they fitted him with some new foam booties, and set him up for some skin care.

Several other staff members came to welcome Dad back, which thrilled him and made him smile from ear to ear.  Dad told Mom he wanted to read the Bible, so she helped him on with his glasses and he was able to read a few paragraphs to her.  Mom said his eye looked so much better.  (We had to cancel his eye consult because he was still in the hospital...)

Mom wheeled Dad to the lunch room before she left.  Dad told her he worries about her being home alone.  She told him she had lots to do and lots of visitors...  Dad was quiet for a minute, then asked her,

"Male or female visitors?"

Mom had to laugh.  She told him, "You have never had to worry about that before, you sure don't have to worry about it now...you are the only man in my life, besides our sons, son in laws, and niece's boyfriends!"

Dad gave her a big smile and told her he was glad to hear it...

Not A Happy Camper...

Dad is not liking the chest restraint, keeping him in bed.  He is agitated and has been pulling out his IV.  They had to move him to another room closer to the nursing station.

He has been receiving breathing treatments three times per day for his bronchitis. His blood pressure is good and so are his sugar levels.

Dad's doctor responded to my email.  He said he would be starting Dad on IV antibiotics for the MRSA and may discharge Dad today, if all goes well...

I sent Dad's doctor a return email, seeking more detailed explanation on what constitutes "if all goes well".

Dad was sleeping, no doubt worn out from his antics earlier this morning.  I plan on calling around 5pm, before his dinner time.  Hopefully, I can talk to him or get some answers by then...I will edit this post with another update if I find out anything new...

Hard Work, Knowledge, Attitude and Love of God...

Yesterday, my husband's life long,best friend and his wife, drove to our house from their time share at the Hilton, to spend the day together.  They came to town Thursday, but her brother and his wife and family flew into Vegas to visit with them and celebrate some family birthdays.  They decided to meet in Vegas so they could visit with them, but also with us.  We had a great day, as we always do when we get together.  They return to California today.

I checked on Dad, while we were out and he was doing the same.  We are all very blessed to have had the same nurse watch over Dad since his arrival on the third floor of the hospital. We appreciate so much the hard work and dedication of these wonderful people with skilled knowledge who choose this particular work of care giving.  Still stable, and a bit more alert.  He did test positive for the MERS again...I expected it with all the antibiotics he constantly has been taking...

This morning I called and his male nurse told me, despite his Foley catheter, Dad tried to get out of bed.  Thankfully, this particular nurse, who also took care of Dad last May during his fall, keeps close tabs on Dad and got to him before he almost fell out of the bed. We are so very blessed...

Dad can be very determined and stubborn.  He gave the nurse a difficult time about wanting to get up and walk around... so the nurse had to put a chest restraint on him to prevent him from getting out or falling.  He assured me there were no restraints on Dad's wrists.  He could move around the bed, but his movements would be restrained if he tried to sit up or slide out of the bed.  The nurse said he might be able to remove the restraint this afternoon, but it depended on how Dad was doing.

His blood sugar is "like a roller coaster", according to the nurse, mainly due to his bladder infection.  He believes Dad will probably be kept another two to three days. 

I was able to speak with Dad briefly, before his lunch was served.  Dad had just awoke, so his voice sounded garbled.  He was talking a blue streak, and I was having difficulty understanding him, but I think he was telling me he wanted to get up and the "big guy" was making him stay in bed.  He also told me he liked the food but not the coffee.  He likes the coffee better over at "the other place".

I told Dad I was happy he was feeling better and stronger, but he HAD to stay in bed and do what the nurses told him to do, so he can get completely better.  I urged him to keep his usual positive attitude and follow the rules. I reminded him to be humble and be filled with the love of God, assuring him I knew it was a challenge to have to stay in bed.  Dad would always bring up trusting in the Lord and remembering the love of God when mentoring me about some difficulty in  my life... I could tell Dad was smiling when he promised he would "take it as it comes" and follow my advice.

Besides his family, Dad loves mathematics and science.  He also has tremendous love of God.  Both he and Mom have always taught us the value of hard work, knowledge, attitude and the love of God.  Ironically, today, Mom sent me another video via email.  I am including the link below.  Please watch it to the end, and you will see why I chose to share it with you...(nicer if you turn on your sound too :} )

Mathematics

Have a great week every one...

This Is Really A Nice Place...

I spoke with Dad today.  He sounded tired, but in good spirits. My sister had just visited him and his voice was full of love as he told me how good it felt to hold her...

No news on when he will return to the nursing home.  He told my sister what a nice place it was.  He thought the bed was comfortable, the food was good and the people were very nice.  He did not know he was in a hospital.

I told Dad not to worry.  I told him how much we all loved him and I would be talking with his nurses and doctors every day.  All he had to do was to rest, eat and do what the nurses told him to do.  When I called him Papa-doots, he managed to give me a little chuckle...

Four Months Old Today...and Updates on Dad....

Ready for action...4 months old today

The other night, Daddy and baby Jacob stayed up for Mommy to get home from work....only Jacob fell asleep.  (Notice the paper towel around the rose so Jacob would not get poked by a thorn...what a thoughtful Daddy...)

Yesterday, we got a voice mail from Jacob...his Daddy was making him laugh.  It was so cute to hear that little belly laugh... I wish I could share it with all of you, it was adorable!!

Update on Dad:  So far so good.  Dad has been eating and resting.  He is stable.  No word yet on when he can go home.  I sent his doctor an email...

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers,  We appreciate it so very much.

Dad Rushed To Hospital Today...

The past two days, I don't venture too far from the bathroom...either I have the flu, or this antibiotic is way too strong...my stomach is really messed up and cramping. 

At 1:30 pm today, my husband woke me up to give me the phone... It was the nursing home.  Dad was taken 911 by ambulance for low blood pressure.  Apparently, his pressure dropped on Monday too.  The nurse referenced my being notified on Monday and I told her I WAS NOT NOTIFIED!!  This is the FIRST TIME I heard anything about Dad's blood pressure dropping. Apparently, after lunch he was weak and pale and his BP dropped to 80/40.  They called paramedics.  The paramedic took it and it was 80/60.  Then they called me and told me they were sending Dad to the hospital. 

I quickly shot out of bed and began calling my Mom, brothers and sister.  My Mom was volunteering at her church, but called me after I spoke with my younger brother.  He has his own business and was working in Walnut. He told me he would leave for the hospital immediately.  Mom called and she was on her way too...My second to the oldest brother was boarding a bus to take his soccer team to a game.  My second to the youngest brother was on his way to work the night shift.  My sister was at work. I text my oldest brother in Ohio, who was also at work.

I called the nurse back at the nursing home and wanted to know which nurse marked Dad's chart, I was called.  I ask her to have him call me as soon as he comes in for his shift today...and asked her more on what happened on Monday and today.  She told me Dad's blood pressure was 80/90 on Monday.  They called Dad's doctor and he decreased his Coreg and Digoxin and ordered Dad to be "monitored".  Tuesday, Dad's BP was 100/60.  (I was having a cough spasm attack, so I told her I would call back...)

Yesterday I spoke with the nursing home because Dad was suppose to have a Care Conference and no one called me.  When I called Mom, she didn't even know about it.  Mom and I usually get noticed as she attends in person and I attend via the phone.  The gal whose name was on the notice, knew nothing of the meeting and told me she would have to speak to the social worker.  I asked her to ask the social worker to call Mom and arrange a new date for the conference.  I told her what days were good for me.  She never returned my call.  I left messages again today for the social worker....still no returned call.

If we did have the conference yesterday, we (hopefully) would have found out about Dad's low blood pressure...

Late October, early November, the Director of Nursing left for another job.  She stayed on top of the conferences.  They went a couple weeks without a DON, only a nurse filling in.  The new one was to start after Thanksgiving.  I imagine she is up to her neck in learning about her new position, so I am almost certain it might be how Dad's conference fell through the cracks...

The nurse who "supposedly called me to notify me about Dad" phoned me and apologised. He wrote it down and intended to call but got side tracked.  I ask him to correct the records.  He told me he would.  He told me Dad had been up and down about 5 or 6 times Monday night, setting off his alarm.  He told me the doctor had decreased the dosage of Dad's Coreg and Digoxin on Monday, ordering Dad to be monitored..  I asked about the lower dosage because it struck me as odd when the previous nurse had told me... He told me both had been decreased by half.  So after we hung up, I checked my list of Dad's medications and it is the same dosage as Dad has been on since 2009!

If the doctor had increased the dosage from 2009, why wasn't I informed?   I will be calling the same male nurse back at 6 pm after he finishes dispensing medication, to ask when the dosage was increased!!!

When my youngest brother left, he told me the ER nurse was discussing a CT Scan.  I called her and told her about Dad's fall last May and the subsequent CT Scan after the one in the hospital.  I asked if Dad could NOT be sedated.  She told me he was sleeping so the CT Scan would not be a problem.  I gave her some more history and hung up. 

I can't reach Mom.  Understandably, her cell won't get reception in the hospital and they ask to turn it off.  I hope Dad is OK and does not have to spend the night in the hospital.  Mom has had a long day, and if they kept Dad, no doubt Mom will stay there with him...  I just have to be patient...

Update: 7pm.  I found out Dad has been taking twice the dosage since he returned last May from his fall.  Why the doctor reduced his medication on Monday when his blood pressure had dropped is a mystery to me.  Maybe it was mentioned at one of conferences and I missed it... Can any of you nurses out there explain why the doc would decrease the Coreg and Digoxin by half when Dad's blood pressure dropped?

I spoke to the ER nurse again, telling her Dad might be up since he has been sleeping all day.  I told the nurse I did not want Mom to stay there all night.  She suggested getting a sitter to sit with Dad and I thanked her profusely.

Talked to Mom.  She is exhausted and freezing to death.  Dad is going to be admitted.  I told her to go home and assured her the nurse would get a sitter for Dad... Please keep him in your prayers....

An Eye Opening Interpretation...

My spiritual mentor, who is a prayer warrior extraordinaire, sent me this in an email.  It was displayed beneath the glass on my work area for most of my eleven years when I worked for the federal courts. In the process of cleaning out my office, I found it.  I thought I would share it with you...

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd. That's Relationship!

I shall not want.  That's Supply!

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.  That's Rest!

He leadeth me beside the still waters.  That's Refreshment!

He restoreth my soul.  That's Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.  That's Guidance!

For His name sake.  That's Purpose!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  That's Testing!

I will fear no evil.  That's Protection!

For Thou art with me.  That's Faithfulness!

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.  That's Discipline!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.  That's Hope!

Thou annointest my head with oil.  That's Consecration!

My cup runneth over.  That's Abundance!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.  That's Blessing!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord.  That's Security!

Forever.  That's Eternity!

AMEN!

S.O.S. To All My Blogging Friends...

Does anyone know how to transfer my blog into a book?  Seems in my blog sailing adventures I remember reading something about it, but of course, now I cannot remember where...

I plan on turning this blog into a book as well as writing more about Dad's life.  If nothing else, to have it for a keep sake for members of my family.

I have also considered doing like a journal format for the book...

Anyway, any help would be greatly appreciated.  Hope you all are having a wonderful, relaxing and fun weekend.

Dad Fired His Boss and Yelled During Church...

My sister drove to Mom's house so they could both visit Dad.  They arrived before lunch, armed with red licorice and York peppermint paddies.  They found Dad sitting in the back of the rec room, listening to a minister for Saturday services.  The nursing home provides religious services on both Saturday and Sunday...

Being in the back of the room, it was easy to wheel him outside to the patio so they could visit easier.  It was a gorgeous day and Dad really enjoyed the warm sun on his shoulders. He took off his sweatshirt (with their help) so he could soak up more of the sunshine... He enjoyed chewing on the licorice and savoring a York peppermint patty.  Dad wanted to save the rest so he would not ruin his lunch appetite.  He thanked them and told them how much he loved both his treats.

My sister said Dad began a long story about his boss trying to fire him...Dad had told his boss he could NOT fire him because he had been there longer than his boss!  Besides that, Dad was a Marine!  He can't fire a Marine!  Dad told his boss to watch out or he may FIRE HIM!!!

Dad went on to say...at breakfast, the nurse had given him too many pills.  Some times it is hard to swallow all of them.  He never questions what they give him, because he trusts them...

My sister told Dad not to worry because Donna (me) keeps track of what they give him and makes sure it is OK...

Dad continued telling them how happy he was and what good care they took of him...

However, he did have a blow up with another resident because he was sitting behind Dad making noises, while Dad was trying to listen to the Minister.  Dad could not hear, so he let him have it!! 

My sister and Mom were not sure if this really happened or not...so I called the nursing home, after reading my sister's email.  I just happened to get one of the male attendants who regularly works with Dad.  He told me Dad "did get after" the man making noises by yelling at him.  He told me Dad occasionally yells or gets mad at some one., but most of the time he is quiet and good natured.  He told me how funny Dad is and how he makes everyone laugh.  He told me Dad and he were joking around and Dad had mentioned some one trying to fire him...and how he told them, "You're FIRED!  I should have fired you a long time ago!!"

Dad had lots to tell my sister and Mom... he told them how he wasn't getting enough rest, so maybe that was why he was so angry with his boss and the man making noises behind his wheel chair...

One of the nurses came out on the patio to see Mom and my sister... She told them she had been walking with Dad that morning and Dad sang to her. It made them feel so good hearing Dad is so happy and content.

My sister took a picture of Dad's eye and said it looked a lot better. She noticed Dad's voice was much deeper, did sound congested and had a bit of a cough. She took video of Dad as he talked to them.  She trimmed his nails.  Dad always enjoys having his nails trimmed and especially the hand, arm and shoulder massage my sister gives him.

Dad looked up at the snow covered mountains and remarked how beautiful it was...then he noticed a village...and began describing the village and how he would enjoy visiting there... Mom and my sister marveled at his binocular vision...because neither of them could see any village...

Dad changed the subject again and told my sister he wants to go to the Dime store and pick up some tennis shoes so he can run.

My sister told him his tennis shoes were in his closet, but the doctor wanted him to wear his foam booties and not wear shoes, because of the wound on his pinkie toe...

"Well, I will have to talk to him about that," Dad told her...

My sister reminded Dad about running and falling....we don't want him to fall again....he finally agreed she was right, and running might not be a good idea right now...

Lunch was being served, so they took Dad back to the dining room with his friends.  He was tired from the sun, so she was sure once he filled his belly, he would soon be sawing logs for an afternoon nap...

Just Keep Loving People...

I called the nursing home and spoke with one of the nurses I frequently talk with.  I asked how Dad was and she told me he was fine.  I asked how his eye looked and she told me it still looked bad.  She told me Dad was in the dining room waiting for lunch.  She would take the phone to him and bring him out in the hallway so he could speak with me...

As soon as Dad said hello, I could tell by his voice he had a cold.  In fact, he sounded like he had laryngitis like me.  My voice was doing pretty good, but his was going in and out.  He let loose with a few coughs which concerned me.  I asked Dad if he had a cold and he admitted he did, but he was in wonderful spirits and very happy.

He knew who I was immediately, but our conversation was very sporadic and all over the place.  Mainly he told me how happy he was.  How much he loved living there and how much he loved all the pretty ladies who took such great care of him...

"I'm falling in love with all the people here, Dee...I do my best to stay awake for them so I can be a lover, and I usually succeed"...

"I'm so glad to hear that Dad..."

"I have chances all day long to watch these lovely ladies who are so professional and nice...always so happy to see me.  I just love it when they give me a big smile and tell me they love me.  Even the boss man walks in the halls and smiles at me...but he goes through the double doors and I want to go too"...

"I know you love to go through the double doors Dad, but you have to remember to go with someone.  We don't want you to have another bad fall..."

"Oh no, I don't want to fall.  That's good advice Donna.... Oh, the ladies are so cute!  (He laughs) and one even wore high heels this morning!  Oh I just love it so much when I see a lady in high heels...her legs look so beautiful..."

"Oh yeah!  Women's legs do look beautiful in high heels.  You are so observant Dad!"

"(laughs) I am so blessed.  I am waiting to go into the room so we can have happy questions.  That's what I like to do.  Talk about what makes me happy and hear what makes others happy.  We just have to keep loving people..."

"Oh Dad, that is the best advice ever!  You are so right, we all need to love one another more..."

(Making cooing noises) "Oh you should see all the bright and cheery outfits these cuties are wearing. I'm so happy when I see their big, happy smiles.  I'm happy when they're happy and when you're happy... We fall in love when the system is working..."

"You definitely have a great system working Dad"...

"You have to get a certain system going, where we are getting to know one another and learn about all the people... Oh these little ladies love me...". (laughs and tells someone hello)

"Yes they do, yes they do...and so do I!!!"

"You know I just LOVE candy...especially those twisted red vines...the licorice?  I love to chew on it.  It tastes so good."

"Is red your favorite?  Do you like the black too?"

"Oh yes, I love them both, but I love the red licorice....it tastes sooooooo good!"

"I will bring you some next time I come see you..."

Dad launched into a new topic of selling cars.  He finds out the colors each person likes best and then orders it for them.  He told me it did not cost the customer any extra, but it cost thousands and thousands of dollars...

Then he told me how he missed his home.  How well Mom was doing and getting new furniture and fixing up the house....

"I haven't been home in so long.  I miss my home.  I miss going in the garage.  I have not seen it in so long...when I brush my hair, I remember... Today is such a beautiful day.  The mountains have snow on them.  I used to love to ski.  I have skis in the garage...I think they belonged to S_____ (my second to youngest brother)... Maybe the next time you come over we could go to the house and explore..."

When Dad talks about home...it is so difficult.  I swallowed the lump in my throat and told him...

"I know Dad...we used to have good times... together... exploring..., huh?"

When they began to serve lunch, I told Dad I was going to eat lunch too...so he told me he loved me, his love to my husband, and as always, thanked me for calling and talking with him...

As soon as we hung up, I called the nursing station and told her about Dad's cold.  I let her know how concerned I am for pneumonia.  I asked her to call his physician and ask if he could see him tomorrow.  I ask for her to call me later about Dad and she said she would...

I emailed his primary physician and told him about Dad's voice and his cough, asking him to please see him tomorrow.  I also called the eye doctor who will be doing the consult on Dad's eye on the 25th.  I explained about Dad having Alzheimer's and how a previous eye doctor had wanted to do a biopsy on his eye and how Dad freaked and refused to go back...She told me she would put a note in their system  for the doctor not to mention cancer or biopsy or infection in front of Dad.  I ask to have the doctor call me afterward...

It was good hearing how happy and in love he is....but I am very concerned about his cold.  I will follow up with phone calls and more emails tomorrow, if I don't hear anything later on...

Just Call Me Froggy...

Since Monday my voice has been in and out...laryngitis. Started with a sore throat. Anything involved with my throat affects my voice.  I sound like a male frog. 

I am drinking lots of tea with honey and lemon.  Hopefully, my voice will come back long enough and clear enough to talk to Dad tomorrow...

66 Years Ago...The Anniversary of The Day They First Met...

Mom went to visit Dad yesterday.  Her modem is faulty and needs to be replaced, so it is "hit or miss" with her getting online to deliver her visits with Dad. My second to the oldest brother will be helping her install one today.

She arrived during bible study and music.  She busied herself talking with the administrator, some of the nurses and a few other staff members, so Dad could enjoy the music.  Doctor-Doctor is having hernia surgery the end of the month, so she will be out the entire month of February.  Apparently she has been having a lot of pain and discomfort.  She never told me, but I noticed she didn't seem like herself the last few times I visited with her.

The administrator was telling Mom how fond of Dad everyone is.  Mom inquired about Doctor-Doctor or the male CNA Dad is fond of, being available to accompany Dad for his eye consult on January 25th...
Mom will call tomorrow to arrange for the transport and coordinate with her schedule...

Mom joined Dad after his bible study.  He told her he was glad to see him.  Unity and Unified were the words of the day.  Mom said he used one or the other in almost every sentence he spoke...

Mom asked Dad if he remembered what they celebrated every January 7th...and by the clue less expression on Dad's face, Mom knew he didn't remember...

"My birthday?" he guessed...

Mom reminded him his birthday was in November and we had all just celebrated his 90th birthday...

"We met 66 years ago in Seattle, Washington," Mom told him...

Dad smiled, but still had an expression of not registering what she had told him.

Mom resumed chatting about current family business and told him about the furnace she just had installed.  Dad told her he doesn't worry about her because he knows how organized she is and how she can handle anything...

When lunch came, Dad told Mom he can eat better if someone fed him.  Mom took the hint and fed him  a delicious lunch of hamburger, baked beans, carrots, salad, coffee, two glasses of milk, a banana and ice cream.  Nothing wrong with his appetite!

Dad told her how happy he was and how much he enjoyed the ladies...especially the blonds.  Mom had to laugh and agreed with him wholeheartedly.

Dad repeated his latest fixation on the Titanic sinking, his good friend John Wayne (the "Duke") and how he helped guard the buildings and being "unified".  Mom attempted to change the topic about some of their church friends.  Mom mentioned a friend who had Alzheimer's.  Dad interrupted her, telling her he had had Alzheimer's but with "unity" he had recovered...

Mom noticed Dad's eye  didn't look too bad and he is still on the eye drops the doctor ordered.  She settled him into bed for a nap and left feeling grateful for the care he receives.  Dad seemed very content and happy.

I Can Feel A Big Storm Brewing...

The nursing home called me this morning about making an eye consult appointment for Dad with an opthamologist.  I had spoken with Mom on the 26th after my husband and I visited Dad.  She was going to call and coordinate with the staff on selecting a good day.  She has been so busy with all she has going plus all her volunteer work, she finally spoke with the nurse today.  They will schedule a consult Tuesday, January 11th.

We all know Dad will freak if the doctor mentions the words, "cancer" or "biopsy", and refuse treatment. I feel so sad thinking if Dad lost sight in one eye...

Mom's Internet is down again, and we think she might need a new modem.  She visited Dad  on the 30th.  He was in the lunch room.  He told her he knew she was coming. 

"How did you know I was coming?" Mom asked...

"The boys told me yesterday... Donna and Jerry were here too..."

Dad gets the days and time frames all messed up, so Mom just agreed with him.  Lunch was served so Mom sat with him and watched as he ate with gusto...

Afterwards, Mom took him back to his room.  Both his room mates were out, so it was quiet.  It was way too cold to take him to the patio.  Some times Dad just sat and stared, not saying a word and the next he would be talking non stop. 

He told her he had put black marker on the foreheads of all the real employees so he could recognize any false impostor employees.  He told her he warned them all if they came in drunk, the Marines would be ordered to shoot them.

I am very concerned because Dad has been sounding very paranoid and delusional for the past couple of weeks.  I have checked with several of the nurses and there have not been any unusual disturbances which may have upset Dad and the other residents.

I had asked the nurses to monitor Dad, making sure he not near the TV at news time.  I know my request is asking a lot with all the other patients they have... I just don't want him to return to his paranoia and delusions and have to go back on the Seraquill... If he has any episodes they will send him back to the mental hospital, and we don't want that to happen!

These are the times I have to keep my faith in God, remember Dad is in God's hands, and we can only do so much... Dad is engulfed in the ravages of this hideous disease and it will eventually claim him...one way or another.  We are on borrowed time with Dad.  We have been very blessed with so many good days...but I know, I can feel a big storm brewing...

Precious....

Before...

After

My daughter said, "Instead of counting down the minutes to the new year, Jacob decided to count sheep"...

Precious little boy...