Mom went to visit Dad today after her eye appointment. The nursing home was celebrating Earth Day by serving cheeseburgers, chips and sodas. Mom greeted the Activities Director who was wearing a bright green to to celebrate the day. She invited Mom to enjoy a cheeseburger.
As Mom rounded the corner of Dad's station, she saw the male nurse preparing the medications tray. She greeted him and asked if he had Dad's weight. He told Mom Dad had gained some weight and was now at 132! He also told Mom Dad's doctor had done a Cryotherapy treatment on Dad's pinkie toe. One of the female nurses told Mom what a happy person Dad is and such a sweetheart to care for.
Doctor-Doctor gave Mom a hug and asked if she wanted to take Dad out on the patio. After Mom kissed Dad hello, they went outside on the patio. Mom had Doctor-Doctor park Dad's wheel chair in the sun so he could enjoy the warm sun on his back.
Doctor-Doctor chatted with Mom and told her Dad was still hungry after breakfast so she had brought him a fruit plate and a cup of coffee, which he gobbled down. Mom told her about her last visit with my sister and how they could not believe all the food Dad packed away.
The weather was perfect and all the colorful balloons tied to the patio chairs danced in the breeze. Dad kept both his eyes closed and didn't really say much. Mom would have to ask Dad a direct question before he would speak...
Doctor-Doctor reappeared and told Dad his lunch was served. Mom fed him his lunch of baked boneless chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, stewed tomatoes (which Dad loves), mixed fruit salad, strawberry ice cream, whole wheat bread and butter, a slice of orange cake, coffee, milk and his Ensure. Dad polished off every morsel of food. He continued to keep both eyes shut inside as he had done outside, so Mom knew it was not the sun making him shut his eyes...
The Activities Director came to Dad's table with three cheeseburgers, two bags of chips and two sodas. Dad ate both bags of chips, a couple sips of the soda and two cheeseburgers, leaving only a couple of bites.
Pickles and Blondie stopped by the table to greet Mom and Dad...
Doctor-Doctor returned and asked Dad if he was ready for a nice nap, which he quickly smiled and told her he was ready. Mom kissed and hugged Dad good-bye and enjoyed more positive comments from other members of the staff as she was leaving. It was another good visit.
Mom has been "burning the midnight oil" doing her counted cross stitch Christmas stockings for my nephew Braxton and my newest grand son Garrett. She hopes to be finished with Braxton's very soon and Garrett's before Christmas...so Mom went home and took a nap herself!
Monday, April 22, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
A Good Day...
My brother E_____ went to visit "Pops", as he calls Dad, yesterday. He found him eating lunch in the cafeteria. As he approached, Dad looked up stopped eating and said, "E____! It is so good to see you!!! He reached for my brother and they embraced in a big hug.
Dad resumed shoveling his lunch of turkey, mashed potatoes, jello, ice cream (which looked like he had eaten first, which Dad does like to do) a can of Ensure, milk and coffee. My brother is very conscious of not doing anything to make Dad feel any less a man, so he sat and watched Dad feed himself, helping Dad casually only if he needed it.
My brother noted Dad's right eye is closed in a permanent wink but did not seem to be in any discomfort what so ever. He also noticed Dad's big toe sticking out of his bandages and noted the big toe nail was very long so he took a picture and sent it to me. This way I can call the nursing home and have them schedule Dad for a Podiatrist appointment...
After Dad finished his meal, Doctor-Doctor came over carrying a huge fruit plate and greeted the both of them. She asked if Dad wanted his fruit plate and surprisingly Dad told her he was full!!
"This is my son." Dad told her proudly... Doctor-Doctor nodded and told E___ hello, but she has met my brother before. E____ was surprised and thrilled Dad not only remembered who he was but was cognisant enough to introduce him. Doctor-Doctor told Dad she would bring it back to him after his nap.
All of us are finding it more and more difficult to visit Dad. E____ owns his own business and travels a lot, but he used to visit Dad once or twice a month...now he finds himself coming every couple of months. On his last several visits Dad was asleep or seemed he was in a fog.
Visiting Dad when he is having a good day is always a genuine blessing...so E____ pulled out his iPad and showed Dad some pictures of his dogs. Dad used to feed his dogs when he was away and gave all of us his love for animals. Dad laughed and really enjoyed the pictures.
"Dad? You feel like going out on the patio?"
"Is it cold?" .
"It's about seventy degrees...do you want to sit in the sun or the shade?"
"The sun," Dad replied.
E____ parked Dad's wheel chair so the sun was on his back, which Dad always loves...
"Oh that sun feels so good on my back!"
The two of them chatted for awhile. E____ always likes to ask Dad questions to gauge how Dad is doing and if he remembers the stories we are all so familiar with. E_____ asked Dad about his Marine days...and about Dad's old gun he use to call "the lemon squeezer"... Dad looked confused and did not recall anything about the gun and struggled with discussing the military...so E_____ changed the topic of conversation...
E____ told Dad he was going to Mammoth in a few weeks on a fishing trip...
"I love to swim and fish...I am a very strong swimmer...maybe I will go with you?"
Laughing, E______ complimented Dad and told him he remembers what a strong swimmer Dad is. Dad used to take us to the beach and the community pool. Dad swam in the ocean like a fish. "Sounds good Pops...we'll have to do that...".
E____ was concerned the sun may burn Dad's arm and hands or make him start to itch, so he asked Dad if he wanted to return to have his "siesta".
Dad started to rise out of his wheel chair, "We can walk back..."
E____ chuckled and put his hand on Dad's shoulder and told Dad he'd get him in trouble if he did not bring Dad back in the wheel chair... so Dad sat down...
"I'm stronger than I used to be, you know..."
"I know Dad...you always gave us a run for our money..."
Dad resumed shoveling his lunch of turkey, mashed potatoes, jello, ice cream (which looked like he had eaten first, which Dad does like to do) a can of Ensure, milk and coffee. My brother is very conscious of not doing anything to make Dad feel any less a man, so he sat and watched Dad feed himself, helping Dad casually only if he needed it.
My brother noted Dad's right eye is closed in a permanent wink but did not seem to be in any discomfort what so ever. He also noticed Dad's big toe sticking out of his bandages and noted the big toe nail was very long so he took a picture and sent it to me. This way I can call the nursing home and have them schedule Dad for a Podiatrist appointment...
After Dad finished his meal, Doctor-Doctor came over carrying a huge fruit plate and greeted the both of them. She asked if Dad wanted his fruit plate and surprisingly Dad told her he was full!!
"This is my son." Dad told her proudly... Doctor-Doctor nodded and told E___ hello, but she has met my brother before. E____ was surprised and thrilled Dad not only remembered who he was but was cognisant enough to introduce him. Doctor-Doctor told Dad she would bring it back to him after his nap.
All of us are finding it more and more difficult to visit Dad. E____ owns his own business and travels a lot, but he used to visit Dad once or twice a month...now he finds himself coming every couple of months. On his last several visits Dad was asleep or seemed he was in a fog.
Visiting Dad when he is having a good day is always a genuine blessing...so E____ pulled out his iPad and showed Dad some pictures of his dogs. Dad used to feed his dogs when he was away and gave all of us his love for animals. Dad laughed and really enjoyed the pictures.
"Dad? You feel like going out on the patio?"
"Is it cold?" .
"It's about seventy degrees...do you want to sit in the sun or the shade?"
"The sun," Dad replied.
E____ parked Dad's wheel chair so the sun was on his back, which Dad always loves...
"Oh that sun feels so good on my back!"
The two of them chatted for awhile. E____ always likes to ask Dad questions to gauge how Dad is doing and if he remembers the stories we are all so familiar with. E_____ asked Dad about his Marine days...and about Dad's old gun he use to call "the lemon squeezer"... Dad looked confused and did not recall anything about the gun and struggled with discussing the military...so E_____ changed the topic of conversation...
E____ told Dad he was going to Mammoth in a few weeks on a fishing trip...
"I love to swim and fish...I am a very strong swimmer...maybe I will go with you?"
Laughing, E______ complimented Dad and told him he remembers what a strong swimmer Dad is. Dad used to take us to the beach and the community pool. Dad swam in the ocean like a fish. "Sounds good Pops...we'll have to do that...".
E____ was concerned the sun may burn Dad's arm and hands or make him start to itch, so he asked Dad if he wanted to return to have his "siesta".
Dad started to rise out of his wheel chair, "We can walk back..."
E____ chuckled and put his hand on Dad's shoulder and told Dad he'd get him in trouble if he did not bring Dad back in the wheel chair... so Dad sat down...
"I'm stronger than I used to be, you know..."
"I know Dad...you always gave us a run for our money..."
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Packing It Away...
Mom and Holly, my sister went to visit Dad yesterday. They found him in his room just dressed after a shower by his Hospice CNA. They waited while the nurse treated the cancerous growth on Dad's foot and then took him into the lunch room so they could chat.
Dad rambled and did not make much sense...but he did tell them he has not seen his son S_____ in such a long time. Mom and my sister looked at one another in shock...as Dad thought my sister was his wife...Dad usually thinks my sister is me so she wondered if Dad thinks she has not visited in a long time too?
Mom told Dad his son was very busy with work...and Dad told her he knew that...Dad continued on with his rambling thoughts, changing subjects and reason often...
They noticed the cancerous lesion on Dad's upper lip is getting bigger as is the melanoma on his temple. He keeps his right eye with the skin cancer on the lower lid shut all the time now.
Doctor-Doctor arrived with hot dogs and chips for Dad as well as Mom and Holly. My sister thought it was unusual for both of them to be served lunch along with Dad...but she went with the flow...only to find out later someone had donated the food to the nursing home.
Dad scarfed down his hot dogs and chips almost before my sister and Mom had even taken a bite. He ask Doctor-Doctor if he could please have another hot dog and more chips, which she did...Mom and Holly watched in amazement as he devoured the second one as if he were in hot dog eating contest.
No sooner had Dad finished chewing the last of his hot dog, Doctor-Doctor arrived with his lunch of barbecued chicken breast, french fries, sliced cucumbers, jello, ice cream, juice, coffee, and milk. Holly was feeding him, but apparently not fast enough, so Dad took the fork and continued to feed himself...
Doctor-Doctor arrived to take Dad back to his room. She assured Mom and Holly she would get him all cozy and ready for his nap. They said their good-byes and Holly blew Dad her traditional kiss from the doorway...
Mom and Holly could not believe where he packed all that food! It almost made them feel sick...they changed their plans to go to lunch, instead going back to Mom's house to visit.
I remember when my husband and I would visit his Mother and she would forget she had eaten and the fact she was full; going back for breakfast two or three times depending on how many of her friends she ran into who were on their way to the dining room...
My Mother in Law was in perfect health and like Dad, had a hearty appetite. She ate voraciously until she had a CT Scan to determine why she was falling. The hospital sedated her heavily because she could not remember to hold still during the test. She was never the same... She stopped wearing her wig and eyeglasses and dentures. She kept her eyes shut, would not talk and refused to eat or drink anything...She died two month later. I hope Dad's health prevents him from such a fate....it was horrible.
Dad rambled and did not make much sense...but he did tell them he has not seen his son S_____ in such a long time. Mom and my sister looked at one another in shock...as Dad thought my sister was his wife...Dad usually thinks my sister is me so she wondered if Dad thinks she has not visited in a long time too?
Mom told Dad his son was very busy with work...and Dad told her he knew that...Dad continued on with his rambling thoughts, changing subjects and reason often...
They noticed the cancerous lesion on Dad's upper lip is getting bigger as is the melanoma on his temple. He keeps his right eye with the skin cancer on the lower lid shut all the time now.
Doctor-Doctor arrived with hot dogs and chips for Dad as well as Mom and Holly. My sister thought it was unusual for both of them to be served lunch along with Dad...but she went with the flow...only to find out later someone had donated the food to the nursing home.
Dad scarfed down his hot dogs and chips almost before my sister and Mom had even taken a bite. He ask Doctor-Doctor if he could please have another hot dog and more chips, which she did...Mom and Holly watched in amazement as he devoured the second one as if he were in hot dog eating contest.
No sooner had Dad finished chewing the last of his hot dog, Doctor-Doctor arrived with his lunch of barbecued chicken breast, french fries, sliced cucumbers, jello, ice cream, juice, coffee, and milk. Holly was feeding him, but apparently not fast enough, so Dad took the fork and continued to feed himself...
Doctor-Doctor arrived to take Dad back to his room. She assured Mom and Holly she would get him all cozy and ready for his nap. They said their good-byes and Holly blew Dad her traditional kiss from the doorway...
Mom and Holly could not believe where he packed all that food! It almost made them feel sick...they changed their plans to go to lunch, instead going back to Mom's house to visit.
I remember when my husband and I would visit his Mother and she would forget she had eaten and the fact she was full; going back for breakfast two or three times depending on how many of her friends she ran into who were on their way to the dining room...
My Mother in Law was in perfect health and like Dad, had a hearty appetite. She ate voraciously until she had a CT Scan to determine why she was falling. The hospital sedated her heavily because she could not remember to hold still during the test. She was never the same... She stopped wearing her wig and eyeglasses and dentures. She kept her eyes shut, would not talk and refused to eat or drink anything...She died two month later. I hope Dad's health prevents him from such a fate....it was horrible.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Catching Up With Dad's Visits and Family Updates...
I have just returned from California. Lots happening in our family...my nephew and his wife had their first child, a baby boy Braxton....and my oldest daughter and my son in law had their third son Garrett...my fourth grand child...(all boys). I am not posting pictures of the babies yet as I have not gotten my final permission to do so...but they are both adorable!
I spent the week with Mom while both families bonded with their new little bundles... Mom and I worked on organizing and filing all Dad's pertinent papers in a file and getting her office the way she wants it. We gathered all the family photos and put created a system in several photo boxes.
We found some great old family pics and had so much fun laughing and remembering. I will share and post some pics of Dad in his younger years...
During my visit last week, Mom and I visited Dad on April 2, 2013...we saw him sitting near the window in the lunch room waiting for lunch. Music was being played and we watched as Dad swayed and moved in his wheel chair...Dad's face looked thin and tight...as we approached, I could see he was well lubricated with lotion or Aquaphor making his face look free of wrinkles.
He recognized us both immediately. He sounded like he had a cold, stuffed up and his voice was slow and deliberate. I asked if he had a cold and he told me he did, but he never sneezed or coughed except when he guzzled his coffee too fast... I noticed his teeth had food in them and were pink...later I found out they had cake and red punch...
We took him out on the patio where I took a couple of pictures...Dad was chilly and told us he did not want us to catch cold so he suggested we go back inside.
The nursing home still had their Easter Bunny out front greeting everyone...
We told Dad about the new arrivals being born ten days apart and showed him pictures of Braxton and Garrett. Dad had to hold the phone about two inches from his face to see the pictures, but when he did, he laughed and kissed their little faces on my phone.
Dad's word of the day was "gravity" and he used it often and always not making any sense to what we were discussing...
He told us he was riding horses up a hill and had to kill people. He didn't want to, but he had to. Dad has mentioned this before on my previous visit with him...so it seems to be on his mind a lot...(I am behind two visits due to it being so close to when I left for California, so I will post them both in this post.) We explained he had to do it because he was fighting for our country and he did what he had to do...
I tried to change the subject and directed his attention outside on the patio, telling him how beautiful the big trees looked with their bright green Spring leaves fluttering in the breeze...Dad is stiff on his left side and has difficulty turning... He glanced at the window and told us what good quality the windows were as there were no holes...
His lunch arrived, smelling delicious as ever...grilled pork chop, white rice, green beans, whole wheat bread and butter, a banana, vanilla ice cream, coffee, milk and a strawberry Ensure. He wanted to start with dessert and ate the ice cream, then polished off every single bite and sucked down all liquids,ending with the slurping straw noise finishing off his strawberry Ensure.
Dad keeps his right eye with the skin cancer shut all the time or maybe it is stuck shut... He kept stretching his crooked hands and fingers out in front of him...commenting on how long his fingernails were and wanted them trimmed. Doctor-Doctor came over and Dad lit up with a huge smile, telling her how much he loved her.
We asked her if she would please trim his nails and she assured us she would. I asked if she could brush his teeth too. She told me they had cake and punch today and Dad had wanted extra helpings. She told us she always brushes his teeth before he goes to bed.
Dad pretty much agreed with whatever we said and repeated what we said...he seemed happy and content...but didn't make much sense when he spoke. Dad continues to lose weight...he weighs 128. I told the charge nurse Dad sounded like he had a cold, so she checked him out and asked his care giver for the day. They ordered a CBC and called me yesterday with the results...Dad's white count was up indicating an infection. She told me she would call his primary and he would decide on the orders and she would let me know...
Mom asked Dad if he was ready for his nap and he smiled at Doctor-Doctor and waved to her as she playfully flirted with him...She told us she would trim his nails and brush his teeth before tucking him in...We kissed him good bye and as we walked toward the front door ran into the Administrator and chatted with him a bit, thanking him for every one's excellent care for Dad.
I went with Mom to her Support Group and was so touched to meet so many brave women caring and fighting for their spouses suffering with this horrendous disease. I shared about helping to care for my mother in law and being my Dad's Advocate. The Facilitator complimented me on my blog and invited the others to check it out. Several of the women wanted the link to my blog as well as my email.
After the meeting, the Facilitator gave me a bag full of Alzheimer's information and pamphlets. I decided I would like to add more information to my blog in helping to select a facility for their loved one, what to look for and what questions to ask and some other information. So stay tuned on that...in the mean time, remember anyone can write me at my email and I will do whatever I can to help.
March 26, 2013
Mom went to visit Dad and found him sitting in the lunch room in his wheel chair wearing his light blue track suit and his perky fedora hat. He perked up smiling when he saw her, telling her he was so glad she came to see him...but did not call her by name.
Mom had spoken with Dad's two care givers prior to going in to see Dad. She wanted to verify if Dad had complained of any pain and both told her no...the male care giver asked Mom to ask Dad again when she saw him. He told her he would give Dad some Tylenol if Dad complained of pain. Mom asked if Dad's doctor had prescribed Vicodin for pain and after checking Dad's chart, confirmed it was correct.
Mom shared with Dad about the birth of their grandson's first son, Braxton being born....Dad kept calling him Jackson...Mom kept repeating Braxton's name slowly until Dad finally got it... Dad rambled on about subjects not connecting with her conversation, but Mom just nodded her head and agreed with him.
Another resident, a woman, who we have never seen with any visitors, constantly yells loud outbursts during lunch, was blasting out angry inaudible noises making it difficult for Mom and Dad to visit. Dad is always so kind when he sees her acting out. He told Mom how much he loves her and how intelligent she is. Dad said she was his attorney... Mom just went along with Dad and agreed...
Dad's lunch arrived looking and smelling delicious making Mom hungry. She fed him beef with tomatoes, onion, celery, in a gravy over rice. The meat was so tender Mom could cut it with the fork; fresh steamed carrots, cauliflower, zucchini, green and Lima beans. Mom made mental notes so she could attempt to re-create it for herself later for dinner. He also had sliced pears with cinnamon, wheat bread with butter, coffee, milk, strawberry ice cream and a vanilla Ensure. Dad ate every morsel and smacked his lips with satisfaction.
Frequently during the meal and their visit, Dad would say the word "water". Mom asked if he wanted a drink of water and Dad told her, "No, I am swimming..."
Mom noticed when Dad drinks his coffee, he always wants to drink it all in one gulp...regardless of how hot it is. We always slow him down, because he also has started to cough. Dad said the coffee makes me gag, so Mom suggested he stopped drinking it..."That's a very bad idea you have." Dad told her... Dad's cough almost sounds fake. His cough is very slow, deliberate and non-productive. He makes a lot of noise, but it is only with the coffee.
Dad did not make much sense and he seemed very tired. Mom asked if he was ready for his nap and he told her he was....Mom wheeled him back to his room and the caregiver came over and took Dad from her and would get him ready for bed...
I spent the week with Mom while both families bonded with their new little bundles... Mom and I worked on organizing and filing all Dad's pertinent papers in a file and getting her office the way she wants it. We gathered all the family photos and put created a system in several photo boxes.
We found some great old family pics and had so much fun laughing and remembering. I will share and post some pics of Dad in his younger years...
Dad played the violin and we still have the one he played...
Dad doing his magic tricks for his fellow Marines
During my visit last week, Mom and I visited Dad on April 2, 2013...we saw him sitting near the window in the lunch room waiting for lunch. Music was being played and we watched as Dad swayed and moved in his wheel chair...Dad's face looked thin and tight...as we approached, I could see he was well lubricated with lotion or Aquaphor making his face look free of wrinkles.
He recognized us both immediately. He sounded like he had a cold, stuffed up and his voice was slow and deliberate. I asked if he had a cold and he told me he did, but he never sneezed or coughed except when he guzzled his coffee too fast... I noticed his teeth had food in them and were pink...later I found out they had cake and red punch...
We took him out on the patio where I took a couple of pictures...Dad was chilly and told us he did not want us to catch cold so he suggested we go back inside.
Happy to see us...
Dad and I
Mom and Dad
We told Dad about the new arrivals being born ten days apart and showed him pictures of Braxton and Garrett. Dad had to hold the phone about two inches from his face to see the pictures, but when he did, he laughed and kissed their little faces on my phone.
Dad's word of the day was "gravity" and he used it often and always not making any sense to what we were discussing...
He told us he was riding horses up a hill and had to kill people. He didn't want to, but he had to. Dad has mentioned this before on my previous visit with him...so it seems to be on his mind a lot...(I am behind two visits due to it being so close to when I left for California, so I will post them both in this post.) We explained he had to do it because he was fighting for our country and he did what he had to do...
I tried to change the subject and directed his attention outside on the patio, telling him how beautiful the big trees looked with their bright green Spring leaves fluttering in the breeze...Dad is stiff on his left side and has difficulty turning... He glanced at the window and told us what good quality the windows were as there were no holes...
His lunch arrived, smelling delicious as ever...grilled pork chop, white rice, green beans, whole wheat bread and butter, a banana, vanilla ice cream, coffee, milk and a strawberry Ensure. He wanted to start with dessert and ate the ice cream, then polished off every single bite and sucked down all liquids,ending with the slurping straw noise finishing off his strawberry Ensure.
Dad keeps his right eye with the skin cancer shut all the time or maybe it is stuck shut... He kept stretching his crooked hands and fingers out in front of him...commenting on how long his fingernails were and wanted them trimmed. Doctor-Doctor came over and Dad lit up with a huge smile, telling her how much he loved her.
We asked her if she would please trim his nails and she assured us she would. I asked if she could brush his teeth too. She told me they had cake and punch today and Dad had wanted extra helpings. She told us she always brushes his teeth before he goes to bed.
Dad pretty much agreed with whatever we said and repeated what we said...he seemed happy and content...but didn't make much sense when he spoke. Dad continues to lose weight...he weighs 128. I told the charge nurse Dad sounded like he had a cold, so she checked him out and asked his care giver for the day. They ordered a CBC and called me yesterday with the results...Dad's white count was up indicating an infection. She told me she would call his primary and he would decide on the orders and she would let me know...
Mom asked Dad if he was ready for his nap and he smiled at Doctor-Doctor and waved to her as she playfully flirted with him...She told us she would trim his nails and brush his teeth before tucking him in...We kissed him good bye and as we walked toward the front door ran into the Administrator and chatted with him a bit, thanking him for every one's excellent care for Dad.
I went with Mom to her Support Group and was so touched to meet so many brave women caring and fighting for their spouses suffering with this horrendous disease. I shared about helping to care for my mother in law and being my Dad's Advocate. The Facilitator complimented me on my blog and invited the others to check it out. Several of the women wanted the link to my blog as well as my email.
After the meeting, the Facilitator gave me a bag full of Alzheimer's information and pamphlets. I decided I would like to add more information to my blog in helping to select a facility for their loved one, what to look for and what questions to ask and some other information. So stay tuned on that...in the mean time, remember anyone can write me at my email and I will do whatever I can to help.
March 26, 2013
Mom went to visit Dad and found him sitting in the lunch room in his wheel chair wearing his light blue track suit and his perky fedora hat. He perked up smiling when he saw her, telling her he was so glad she came to see him...but did not call her by name.
Mom had spoken with Dad's two care givers prior to going in to see Dad. She wanted to verify if Dad had complained of any pain and both told her no...the male care giver asked Mom to ask Dad again when she saw him. He told her he would give Dad some Tylenol if Dad complained of pain. Mom asked if Dad's doctor had prescribed Vicodin for pain and after checking Dad's chart, confirmed it was correct.
Mom shared with Dad about the birth of their grandson's first son, Braxton being born....Dad kept calling him Jackson...Mom kept repeating Braxton's name slowly until Dad finally got it... Dad rambled on about subjects not connecting with her conversation, but Mom just nodded her head and agreed with him.
Another resident, a woman, who we have never seen with any visitors, constantly yells loud outbursts during lunch, was blasting out angry inaudible noises making it difficult for Mom and Dad to visit. Dad is always so kind when he sees her acting out. He told Mom how much he loves her and how intelligent she is. Dad said she was his attorney... Mom just went along with Dad and agreed...
Dad's lunch arrived looking and smelling delicious making Mom hungry. She fed him beef with tomatoes, onion, celery, in a gravy over rice. The meat was so tender Mom could cut it with the fork; fresh steamed carrots, cauliflower, zucchini, green and Lima beans. Mom made mental notes so she could attempt to re-create it for herself later for dinner. He also had sliced pears with cinnamon, wheat bread with butter, coffee, milk, strawberry ice cream and a vanilla Ensure. Dad ate every morsel and smacked his lips with satisfaction.
Frequently during the meal and their visit, Dad would say the word "water". Mom asked if he wanted a drink of water and Dad told her, "No, I am swimming..."
Mom noticed when Dad drinks his coffee, he always wants to drink it all in one gulp...regardless of how hot it is. We always slow him down, because he also has started to cough. Dad said the coffee makes me gag, so Mom suggested he stopped drinking it..."That's a very bad idea you have." Dad told her... Dad's cough almost sounds fake. His cough is very slow, deliberate and non-productive. He makes a lot of noise, but it is only with the coffee.
Dad did not make much sense and he seemed very tired. Mom asked if he was ready for his nap and he told her he was....Mom wheeled him back to his room and the caregiver came over and took Dad from her and would get him ready for bed...
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A Preoccupation with Death...
Mom and I went to visit Dad last Monday morning about 11am. Dad was still in his bed. I asked his male caregiver for the day how much Dad weighed and he told me 131.
When we walked into Dad's room, Dad was semi-curled up in his bed, lying on his right side. He had obviously picked the scab on his upper lip skin cancer with blood all over his bed sheets and bed spread. His upper lip looked terrible... The melanoma on his temple is HUGE. He keeps his right eye (with the skin cancer) shut all the time. He has some other growths growing in between his eyelashes on both the right and the left eye now.
His hair is longer and looks nicer than all buzzed off. He needed a shave...he kept using his tongue to feel the long hairs hanging from his white mustache and growing on his chin. He needed a real reaming of his nostril and ear hairs too.
He was so bugged with the hair on his upper lip I borrowed some scissors from the nurses station and trimmed it for him and then noticed I had cut my finger....but he told me "it felt so much better". One of the male staff put anti-bacterial ointment and a band aid on my finger for me after I scrubbed it out with soap.
Dad was happy to see us and called Mom "Lynnie" and me "Donna". He told us he felt great and was very happy...all the while grimacing as his hand was scratching himself under the blankets. He was still in his nightgown. I asked him several times to please stop scratching and picking and he told me he knew he shouldn't but he would continue to scratch because it felt so good...
Dad told me he had an eggplant on his chest which was ripe for picking. He dug up his right then left nostril up to his second knuckle and told us sometimes he finds things in there...I asked him, "What kind of things? An extra sock?" And he roared with laughter. He told us everyone comes into his room to pick his nose....
Dad was very focused on the hook by his LOVE WALL where the folding chairs hang. He was very concerned it was empty. I told him when it is empty it means he has company (like us) sitting on the chairs....and when the chairs are hanging there, he needs some company....
Dad was also preoccupied with death and even talked about him dying and if he did it was OK because it probably would not make much difference. Mom and I told him everyone takes their turn dying and he would be with God and Grandma and Grandpa, his sisters Jessie, Ruth and Bonnie; Uncle Russ, Helen, Connie and Anna....etc...and all his friends...and movie stars....
Dad talked of having to go up the hill to kill people. He did not want to, but he had to.... I cut him off and explained that was during the War when he fought for our country, but that War was over and he did what he had to do and he was fine and safe now...
My explanation would appease him briefly, then he would begin again talking about the hook and death.
He told us he was afraid and scared seeing so many people die. We were not sure if he meant in the War or at the nursing home...
(Some guy, Mom said it was the sea Captain, kept going into the wrong room next door and a woman was yelling at him to get out....Dad kept smiling as if he thought it was funny.... the male caregiver came in and told us the dementia ward was going to give HIM dementia....he had to keep going in to return the Captain to his room...)
Another woman was yelling in the hallway, obviously being unco-operative and telling someone she didn't want to....very distracting...but we managed to stay tuned into Dad.
Finally Dad's lunch arrived: Coffee, milk, beef stroganoff, broccoli, lemon Jello with cottage cheese and cherries, custard or pudding with raisins and vanilla ice cream. Dad's male caregiver brought Dad a small can of Ensure to drink...but by then, he was pretty full and only drank half. He looked like he might barf, so I told Dad he was done. He finished everything off except for that half can of Ensure.
The entire time he was eating, he held one of my fingers and continuously squeezed it. I just returned from California yesterday so I am late getting this post published..
He told Mom how beautiful she was and how he did not have to worry about me because I was strong. He wanted to know how Mom's car was running. He was glad it was running good because he would need a car to drive. Mom told him gas was so expensive, she did not go out very often.
He asked how my husband Jerry was. I told him he was in Mexico and would pick me up Tuesday. He told me he was glad he was OK because he thought he had died....
Once again, Dad tends to hone in on one particular topic and today, unfortunately, it was the subject of death.
After he ate, his caregiver told us he would give Dad a shower, shave and get him dressed....but we knew Dad would be ready for a nap...
Some lady came in delivering mail and Dad turned to her and told her he loved her. She turned to Mom and I then back to Dad and told him she loved him too....She seemed like she felt she had to reassure us Dad tells it to everyone. We assured her we knew Dad is a lover....
Dad raved about the staff and his two male caregivers moving so fast on the ice rink he could hardly see them because they were a blur.... ICE RINK?
Doctor-Doctor, one of Dad's favorite nurses changed her hair from blond to black but Dad still seemed to recognize her. She told us how she always sees Dad every morning and gets his breakfast and if someone else gets Dad's breakfast and Dad won't eat, she gets him to eat Mexican food...taquitoes, enchiladas, carne asada and menudo....
Mom told her she was shocked because Dad never would eat Menudo before. She made sure to tell us how she buys the Mexican food with her own money or makes it herself. Both Mom and felt uncomfortable like she was fishing for reimbursement or a tip...
We both kissed Dad's forehead and told him to have a nice shower...Mom and I had a long list of errands to run, so we left to get to it. Around 3:30pm, Mom told me she was wiped out so we drove back to her house.
She went in as I brought everything inside and found Mom already sound asleep on the love seat. Mom was living with my niece but she moved out the week before I came to visit, so now Mom will have a guest room and I will not have to sleep on the couch...
I couldn't sleep on the couch even if I wanted to, because my niece took the couch with her. Looking for a new couch was one thing on our list which we did not get to...a lot of walking involved in looking for a couch and neither Mom nor I were up to it...
I changed out the old toilet seat and replaced it with the new one we had bought. I vacuumed the stairs, upstairs and downstairs and fixed Mom's stereo upstairs in her sewing room so she can enjoy her tunes. I put the new batteries for the fire/carbon monoxide alarms all together so my brother could easily find them when he comes over to put them up along with making him a list of things Mom needs done.
Mom woke up around five and made us delicious cheese sandwiches, avocado salad and creamy tomato soup...oh yum....our favorite comfort food.
The next morning when I left, I found myself hugging Mom a little longer and little tighter... I found myself emotional and teary eyed. I love my Mother so much and feel so proud of how strong she is.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Family Updates...
Got a good report from the Hospice nurse today...Dad was in activities when she visited him. He was very upbeat, polite and flirty with her, answering everything she asked with, "Yes, Mam". All his vitals were good, but he told her he had pain. Dad could not explain where it was....and when she inquired further, Dad told her someone told him he was in pain.... I will have to follow up on that...The nurse told me she called Dad's doctor and let him know. The doctor prescribed 5/350 tab of Vicodin for pain as needed. I asked if it could be taken with his Lexapro and Namenda, and she assured me it could.
**********************
My daughter Jodee and her Fiancé Jeff are engaged and will be getting married July 20, 2013. They had a photo shoot for their 'Save the Date' photo and other photos for their wedding. Some of the pictures have their son Jacob in them, but during the shots of just them, her sister, my firstborn daughter Holly and her sons kept Jacob entertained...
I don't usually show pictures of or mention the names of Holly's sons, the ten year old and the eight year old... Holly prefers I don't. Holly is expecting her third son, my fourth grand son this month...
I did however, get the OK to post the picture above of the ten year old, Jacob, Jodee and Jeff's son, and the eight year old walking ahead of their Mom at the park where the photo shoot took place. The boys always look forward to getting together and enjoy one another so much.... I just LOVE this picture.
*******************
My only sister Holly (yes, my daughter Holly is named after her Auntie) arrived today to visit for a week. She and I will drive back together to California to attend her daughter in law's baby shower on the 10th. I will be staying with my Mom a few days and then return home to Nevada on the 12th.
Have a good week everyone...I KNOW I WILL!!!
**********************
My daughter Jodee and her Fiancé Jeff are engaged and will be getting married July 20, 2013. They had a photo shoot for their 'Save the Date' photo and other photos for their wedding. Some of the pictures have their son Jacob in them, but during the shots of just them, her sister, my firstborn daughter Holly and her sons kept Jacob entertained...
I did however, get the OK to post the picture above of the ten year old, Jacob, Jodee and Jeff's son, and the eight year old walking ahead of their Mom at the park where the photo shoot took place. The boys always look forward to getting together and enjoy one another so much.... I just LOVE this picture.
*******************
My only sister Holly (yes, my daughter Holly is named after her Auntie) arrived today to visit for a week. She and I will drive back together to California to attend her daughter in law's baby shower on the 10th. I will be staying with my Mom a few days and then return home to Nevada on the 12th.
Have a good week everyone...I KNOW I WILL!!!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Savior Work...
Mom got an early start yesterday and went to visit Dad earlier than she usually does. She stopped off at the Social Worker's office to drop off some paperwork requested at Dad's last Care Conference...
Mom also brought in a wedding picture when Mom and Dad were first married....Mom so beautiful with her flowing locks and satin wedding gown...Dad a handsome Marine in his dress blues. The staff commented on how great the picture was and the Activities Director asked if Mom could get it enlarged so she could do a memory frame for it. She told Mom to bring any other photos she would like to add to it. We all are so touched by the offer, as it shows us just how special this nursing home is and how much the staff really care for Dad and our family.
One nurse complimented Mom on what an attractive couple they were and it was no wonder her sons were so handsome... ( I have no doubt my brother's got a kick out of her opinion...)
It was 87 degrees yesterday, so Mom wheeled Dad out on the patio so he could enjoy the sun on his back. Dad commented several times how good the sun felt. Dad was very vocal and talked Mom's ear off. Most of it did not make a lick of sense, but she smiled, nodded and agreed with every thing he said.
"I'm kind of tired of visiting and helping people who are always sad. 'Savior work' is getting boring..."
Mom reminded him they had both taken the Stephen's Ministry classes through their church...
"I don't remember that...it is kind of fuzzy to me...Indoor services is pretty nerve racking...they keep talking about such simple things which is so stupid. I am not getting enough sleep because they talk too much..."
Mom suggested he let the staff know if he needs rest and wants to take a quiet nap....or he could just close his eyes and pretend he is asleep...
Dad roared with laughter and told her "That is great advice. I have to remember that so I can do it next time..." Dad laughed again and told her it was a great idea. It is so good to hear Dad is laughing again...leave it to Mom to get him cheered up...
Mom shared with Dad how my brother's family in Ohio is having snow flurries... Dad put his head back and belly laughed....telling her what a glorious day it was today and how he loved to feel the sun on his face and back...
Mom heard the lunch trays being brought in, so she told Dad it was lunch time and she wheeled him inside. One of Dad's favorite male attendants took Dad from Mom and seated Dad at a table and placed his lunch tray in front of him, settling himself beside Dad to feed him. Mom smacked her lips at Dad's fresh tuna salad sandwich, lentil bean and carrot soup, green salad, pears in green Jell-o, strawberry ice cream, coffee and milk. Mom thanked the attendant but said she would feed Dad so he could help one of the other residents eat their lunch...
Dad polished off everything and let out an enormous belch.
Mom told him, "Well, EXCUSE YOU!" and Dad howled with laughter, looking very proud of himself.
"I am ready for some good sleep, " Dad smiled, and patted his stomach...
A lady resident at Dad's table refused to eat her lunch and Mom said she almost snatched it... The food always smells so delicious we all salivate when Dad's meals are served.
Mom shared their wedding photo with Pickles, Doctor-Doctor, the Skin Angel (Dad's wound care nurse) and a few other staff members after she hugged and kissed Dad good-bye, wishing him sweet dreams...
Mom also brought in a wedding picture when Mom and Dad were first married....Mom so beautiful with her flowing locks and satin wedding gown...Dad a handsome Marine in his dress blues. The staff commented on how great the picture was and the Activities Director asked if Mom could get it enlarged so she could do a memory frame for it. She told Mom to bring any other photos she would like to add to it. We all are so touched by the offer, as it shows us just how special this nursing home is and how much the staff really care for Dad and our family.
One nurse complimented Mom on what an attractive couple they were and it was no wonder her sons were so handsome... ( I have no doubt my brother's got a kick out of her opinion...)
It was 87 degrees yesterday, so Mom wheeled Dad out on the patio so he could enjoy the sun on his back. Dad commented several times how good the sun felt. Dad was very vocal and talked Mom's ear off. Most of it did not make a lick of sense, but she smiled, nodded and agreed with every thing he said.
"I'm kind of tired of visiting and helping people who are always sad. 'Savior work' is getting boring..."
Mom reminded him they had both taken the Stephen's Ministry classes through their church...
"I don't remember that...it is kind of fuzzy to me...Indoor services is pretty nerve racking...they keep talking about such simple things which is so stupid. I am not getting enough sleep because they talk too much..."
Mom suggested he let the staff know if he needs rest and wants to take a quiet nap....or he could just close his eyes and pretend he is asleep...
Dad roared with laughter and told her "That is great advice. I have to remember that so I can do it next time..." Dad laughed again and told her it was a great idea. It is so good to hear Dad is laughing again...leave it to Mom to get him cheered up...
Mom shared with Dad how my brother's family in Ohio is having snow flurries... Dad put his head back and belly laughed....telling her what a glorious day it was today and how he loved to feel the sun on his face and back...
Mom heard the lunch trays being brought in, so she told Dad it was lunch time and she wheeled him inside. One of Dad's favorite male attendants took Dad from Mom and seated Dad at a table and placed his lunch tray in front of him, settling himself beside Dad to feed him. Mom smacked her lips at Dad's fresh tuna salad sandwich, lentil bean and carrot soup, green salad, pears in green Jell-o, strawberry ice cream, coffee and milk. Mom thanked the attendant but said she would feed Dad so he could help one of the other residents eat their lunch...
Dad polished off everything and let out an enormous belch.
Mom told him, "Well, EXCUSE YOU!" and Dad howled with laughter, looking very proud of himself.
"I am ready for some good sleep, " Dad smiled, and patted his stomach...
A lady resident at Dad's table refused to eat her lunch and Mom said she almost snatched it... The food always smells so delicious we all salivate when Dad's meals are served.
Mom shared their wedding photo with Pickles, Doctor-Doctor, the Skin Angel (Dad's wound care nurse) and a few other staff members after she hugged and kissed Dad good-bye, wishing him sweet dreams...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)