I spent the week with Mom while both families bonded with their new little bundles... Mom and I worked on organizing and filing all Dad's pertinent papers in a file and getting her office the way she wants it. We gathered all the family photos and put created a system in several photo boxes.
We found some great old family pics and had so much fun laughing and remembering. I will share and post some pics of Dad in his younger years...
Dad played the violin and we still have the one he played...
Dad doing his magic tricks for his fellow Marines
During my visit last week, Mom and I visited Dad on April 2, 2013...we saw him sitting near the window in the lunch room waiting for lunch. Music was being played and we watched as Dad swayed and moved in his wheel chair...Dad's face looked thin and tight...as we approached, I could see he was well lubricated with lotion or Aquaphor making his face look free of wrinkles.
He recognized us both immediately. He sounded like he had a cold, stuffed up and his voice was slow and deliberate. I asked if he had a cold and he told me he did, but he never sneezed or coughed except when he guzzled his coffee too fast... I noticed his teeth had food in them and were pink...later I found out they had cake and red punch...
We took him out on the patio where I took a couple of pictures...Dad was chilly and told us he did not want us to catch cold so he suggested we go back inside.
Happy to see us...
Dad and I
Mom and Dad
We told Dad about the new arrivals being born ten days apart and showed him pictures of Braxton and Garrett. Dad had to hold the phone about two inches from his face to see the pictures, but when he did, he laughed and kissed their little faces on my phone.
Dad's word of the day was "gravity" and he used it often and always not making any sense to what we were discussing...
He told us he was riding horses up a hill and had to kill people. He didn't want to, but he had to. Dad has mentioned this before on my previous visit with him...so it seems to be on his mind a lot...(I am behind two visits due to it being so close to when I left for California, so I will post them both in this post.) We explained he had to do it because he was fighting for our country and he did what he had to do...
I tried to change the subject and directed his attention outside on the patio, telling him how beautiful the big trees looked with their bright green Spring leaves fluttering in the breeze...Dad is stiff on his left side and has difficulty turning... He glanced at the window and told us what good quality the windows were as there were no holes...
His lunch arrived, smelling delicious as ever...grilled pork chop, white rice, green beans, whole wheat bread and butter, a banana, vanilla ice cream, coffee, milk and a strawberry Ensure. He wanted to start with dessert and ate the ice cream, then polished off every single bite and sucked down all liquids,ending with the slurping straw noise finishing off his strawberry Ensure.
Dad keeps his right eye with the skin cancer shut all the time or maybe it is stuck shut... He kept stretching his crooked hands and fingers out in front of him...commenting on how long his fingernails were and wanted them trimmed. Doctor-Doctor came over and Dad lit up with a huge smile, telling her how much he loved her.
We asked her if she would please trim his nails and she assured us she would. I asked if she could brush his teeth too. She told me they had cake and punch today and Dad had wanted extra helpings. She told us she always brushes his teeth before he goes to bed.
Dad pretty much agreed with whatever we said and repeated what we said...he seemed happy and content...but didn't make much sense when he spoke. Dad continues to lose weight...he weighs 128. I told the charge nurse Dad sounded like he had a cold, so she checked him out and asked his care giver for the day. They ordered a CBC and called me yesterday with the results...Dad's white count was up indicating an infection. She told me she would call his primary and he would decide on the orders and she would let me know...
Mom asked Dad if he was ready for his nap and he smiled at Doctor-Doctor and waved to her as she playfully flirted with him...She told us she would trim his nails and brush his teeth before tucking him in...We kissed him good bye and as we walked toward the front door ran into the Administrator and chatted with him a bit, thanking him for every one's excellent care for Dad.
I went with Mom to her Support Group and was so touched to meet so many brave women caring and fighting for their spouses suffering with this horrendous disease. I shared about helping to care for my mother in law and being my Dad's Advocate. The Facilitator complimented me on my blog and invited the others to check it out. Several of the women wanted the link to my blog as well as my email.
After the meeting, the Facilitator gave me a bag full of Alzheimer's information and pamphlets. I decided I would like to add more information to my blog in helping to select a facility for their loved one, what to look for and what questions to ask and some other information. So stay tuned on that...in the mean time, remember anyone can write me at my email and I will do whatever I can to help.
March 26, 2013
Mom went to visit Dad and found him sitting in the lunch room in his wheel chair wearing his light blue track suit and his perky fedora hat. He perked up smiling when he saw her, telling her he was so glad she came to see him...but did not call her by name.
Mom had spoken with Dad's two care givers prior to going in to see Dad. She wanted to verify if Dad had complained of any pain and both told her no...the male care giver asked Mom to ask Dad again when she saw him. He told her he would give Dad some Tylenol if Dad complained of pain. Mom asked if Dad's doctor had prescribed Vicodin for pain and after checking Dad's chart, confirmed it was correct.
Mom shared with Dad about the birth of their grandson's first son, Braxton being born....Dad kept calling him Jackson...Mom kept repeating Braxton's name slowly until Dad finally got it... Dad rambled on about subjects not connecting with her conversation, but Mom just nodded her head and agreed with him.
Another resident, a woman, who we have never seen with any visitors, constantly yells loud outbursts during lunch, was blasting out angry inaudible noises making it difficult for Mom and Dad to visit. Dad is always so kind when he sees her acting out. He told Mom how much he loves her and how intelligent she is. Dad said she was his attorney... Mom just went along with Dad and agreed...
Dad's lunch arrived looking and smelling delicious making Mom hungry. She fed him beef with tomatoes, onion, celery, in a gravy over rice. The meat was so tender Mom could cut it with the fork; fresh steamed carrots, cauliflower, zucchini, green and Lima beans. Mom made mental notes so she could attempt to re-create it for herself later for dinner. He also had sliced pears with cinnamon, wheat bread with butter, coffee, milk, strawberry ice cream and a vanilla Ensure. Dad ate every morsel and smacked his lips with satisfaction.
Frequently during the meal and their visit, Dad would say the word "water". Mom asked if he wanted a drink of water and Dad told her, "No, I am swimming..."
Mom noticed when Dad drinks his coffee, he always wants to drink it all in one gulp...regardless of how hot it is. We always slow him down, because he also has started to cough. Dad said the coffee makes me gag, so Mom suggested he stopped drinking it..."That's a very bad idea you have." Dad told her... Dad's cough almost sounds fake. His cough is very slow, deliberate and non-productive. He makes a lot of noise, but it is only with the coffee.
Dad did not make much sense and he seemed very tired. Mom asked if he was ready for his nap and he told her he was....Mom wheeled him back to his room and the caregiver came over and took Dad from her and would get him ready for bed...
2 comments:
Congratulations on your new grandson! Sounds like you had some nice visits, even with the talk of killing. I'm glad you could go to that support group with your Mom.
PS - you sure do look like her!
Congratulations on the new baby boys.My goodness you look like your mom. I had to look twice. Glad you had some good time with your dad.
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