Care Conference for Dad...

Yesterday, Mom and I attended Dad's Care Conference.  Her in person, me over the phone.  Dad is holding his weight at 133 and is averaging eating 76% of his food.  The Director of Nursing attended the meeting and commented Dad's blood pressure and resting heart rate were better than hers.

The new Social Worker assured us Dad is attending activities five days out of the week, but she has noticed, as other staff have, how much quieter Dad has become.  All Dad's tests have come back good.

Mom and I made sure they all knew we did not want to force Dad to eat.  If Dad says he is not hungry, we want them to let him alone.  We went over his medications and final instructions.

We all had a chuckle when Mom shared how Dad was stuck on discussing sex last week with both of us...she learned in her support group how common it is.

After the conference, Mom went to visit Dad.  As soon as Mom greeting him and asked how he was, Dad announced he felt good!  Again, Dad kept both eyes shut while talking with Mom.  Dad's lunch was served and one of the male care givers came by Dad's table and offered to feed Dad.  Mom thanked him, but told him she would like to feed Dad.  Dad's lunch smelled delicious....he had lasagna, garlic bread, mixed vegetables, coffee (which he smacked his lips over), two small glasses of milk, strawberry ice cream and a banana.  He emptied everything on his plate.

One of Dad's former room mates, who was moved from Dad's room because he played his music so loud which disturbed Dad, came over in his walker and told her she looks younger and younger each time he sees her come to visit Dad.  Mom told him he made her day!

Mom intended to go home and eat, but did not have time as she had her support group to attend.  She barely made it on time.  One of the ladies was having a birthday so Mom was able to munch on some cookies which held her over until she got home to eat.

All and all it was a good visit and report.

Accusations, Spies and More of the Same...

Mom went to visit Dad yesterday.  She anticipated finding him in the dining room for lunch, but Dad was still in bed.  Apparently he wanted to return to bed after his shower.  One of the nurses brought Mom a chair and sat her on the window side of Dad's bed.  Dad was snoring away...(must have been napping after my phone call to him.)  The nurse woke Dad and told him his wife was there...

Mom noticed Dad was having difficulty turning his head to face Mom, but there was someone attending to one of Dad's two room mates, so Mom was forced to stay where she was.

Dad's lunch arrived which looked delicious...chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, green peas, angel food cake, strawberry ice cream and milk.  Dad ate about half his food.  One of the care takers brought in Dad's supplemental milk shake and Dad gulped it down.

As soon as Dad finished his lunch, he accused Mom of having affairs.  Mom assured Dad he was the only man in her life and he did not have to worry... but he was obsessed with the topic of sex and the more Mom attempted to change the subject, the more graphic he became...

Dad warned Mom he could control her from his sleep to prevent her from having affairs.  He told her about his women and then more graphic propositions and ideas he had on his mind... Dad told Mom he had a protective agency watching her, so she should not try to do anything she would not want to be caught doing.  Most of Dad's conversation was with his eyes shut...

After repeated attempts to change the topic of conversation, Mom asked Dad if he was tired.  Dad said he was because he could handle things better in his sleep.  Mom took the opportunity, said her good byes and left.  She was understandably dissatisfied with her visit...

The wound care nurse stopped in to treat Dad's left pinkie toe and Mom warned her to move fast as Dad was going to sleep and may be acting inappropriate and frisky.  She is a very sweet Filipino woman who graciously smiled and told Mom not to worry....

Mom told her she hoped Dad would continue without having any discomfort with his foot.  As Mom walked into the parking lot, she thought Dad lacked energy, his usual spark and didn't seem to have any interest in anything...other than sex.

XXX-RATED.....

Got a phone call from Hospice.  Told me Dad still weighs 133 pounds.  She visited him while he was sleeping.  His blood pressure was 131/81, heart rate 84, respiration 17, oxygen at 95% with all vital sign good and no problems with his bowels.  She reported the nurses say Dad gets grouchy if he is waken in bed and during activities, Dad is often frustrated.

I called the nursing home and asked to speak with Dad.  He had already finished his lunch and was tucked in bed ready for his nap.  When I greeted him with my usual salutation of, "Hi Papa-doots!!" Dad responded by calling me Dolly....then he proceeded to tell me what he would like to do to me in bed...(I will spare you the details)...

He called me by my sister's name and continued with the same type of talk...

I told him it was me, Donna....and still, more xxx-rated talk...

I could hear the nurse trying to tell Dad, "It is your daughter on the phone..."

I could hear her ask him to hold the phone...

"Hold what?" I heard Dad ask her...

His voice was slurred and lustful..

I could not get him to change his topic for conversation or distract him either, so when the nurse took the phone away from him, I thanked her and told her I would like to let him go to sleep...

I did not hear anything from Dad, so I am sure he probably was ready to fall asleep...maybe he was dreaming out loud...who knows...

To anyone who knows about Alzheimer's, I would interested to hear if this type of talk is normal for men with Alzheimer's...

Both my sister and I get extremely uncomfortable when Dad gets like this...

I am in California and wanted to go visit him with my daughter Jodee and Jerry, my husband...but now I hesitate...it is uncomfortable over the phone, but way worse in person...

This really sucks...

Holding His Own...(& Sharing Grand Son Stories)

I called the nursing home today to check on Dad.  He is eating well and gained a pound.  He weighs 133.  Dad is weighed every Sunday, so tomorrow I will find out if he kept that pound on or lost more.
Super Bowl Sunday they called to tell me Dad lost two more pounds...

Last Tuesday, I called the nursing home to check on Dad and the Supervisor answered the phone.  She told me she meant to call me the night before, but it was so late...she wanted to let me know Dad's physician took him off the Aracept and put him on Namenda.  I knew he was going to do this as he had told me in his more recent email.  Apparently the Aracept has a weight loss side effect, which Namenda doesn't and Namenda is better for the later stages of Alzheimer's.

The supervisor also told me the doctor had lowered Dad's Digoxin from 2.5 to 1.5 and put Dad on Remeron to increase his appetite.  I IMMEDIATELY TOLD HER IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE ON DAD'S CHART NOT TO HAVE REMERON....  that is the medication the psychiatrist used to keep switching Dad from it to the Lexapro.  The Remeron made Dad agitated, mean, combative and he wanted to leave, calling Mom and yelling at her.

The Supervisor said the doctor had just left so if she hung up she might be able to page him.  We hung up and I immediately sent the doctor an email, reminding him of why Dad was not suppose to be on the Remeron.

I called the nursing home back and she told me she reached the doctor and Dad would not be getting the Remeron.  Dad's doctor also emailed me, assuring me he stopped the order before Dad got it.  He also told me he had done another cryotherapy treatment on Dad and he had tolerated it well.

I emailed him back letting him know I did not think we should give Dad meds to increase his appetite.  If he truly is in the later stages of Alzheimer's and slowing down....I don't think we should force him to eat if he does not want to.

I wanted to speak with Dad, but he was sleeping. His male caretaker for today told me he was up in his wheel chair and went to activities today.  I thanked him for all he does for Dad and encouraging Dad to eat and join in.  We are very, very blessed to have Dad where he is...

                  ************

Sharing stories and pics of my grand sons:  The ten year old had just come home from a band performance, having just found out he made Advanced Band (he plays the clarinet)... dressed in dark slacks, a white long sleeved shirt and tie.  His Mom told him he looked like an FBI agent and my grandson retorts, "I feel more like James Bond.  Take my picture Mom and I'll pose..."

So she grabbed the camera... He touched his tie, cocked his head to one side, and posed like he was alertly walking... She snapped the picture....

Chuckling, my daughter commented on his pose, and my grand son says, "I like my cereal shaken, not stirred." (After Bond's famous line, "I like my martini, shaken, not stirred.")

She forwarded his comment and the picture to me via text on my phone and my husband and I cracked up.  Both my daughter and I were laughing when I called her after receiving the text.  What a character!  Our family is blessed with a WONDERFUL sense of humor.

The ten year old's brother, the eight year old, is catching up to his older brother in height and clothes size.  He is wearing a size 12, the same as his older brother.  The ten year old complained to his Mom, "Hey, I am suppose to be the alpha brother, I don't want to share my jeans with him."

The eight year old overheard his comment and quipped back, "Then you better eat more popcorn like I do, instead of all those vegetables."  

The ten year old rolls his eyes up at his Mom and said, "See what I have to deal with? I can't wait for G****** (his soon to arrive brother the end of March or beginning of April) to get here...then I'll have someone to share the load."  If I ever want to write a children's book, I got plenty of material and dialogue!

The eight year old is fearless, gregarious, also has a sharp wit and often figures out difficult video games when his older brother is stumped....which ticks the older one off despite being proud of his younger brother, calling him a wizard.

The ten year old is into all sports, everything & anything, doing everything well, except for his biggest challenge of keeping quiet in class. Both boys do very well in school.  The ten year old is not fond of sports, but loves making music, creative writing, computers and video games.  He is more reserved, but can hold his own often making comical or poignant observations.

Little G***** will arrive soon...their little brother, my fourth grand son and our tenth shared grand child...(My older daughter Holly, prefers I don't post pictures or their names at this particular time...)

Here is my latest pictures of little Jacob, my youngest grand son... so far.  He is 2 years, 5 months.

Swinging at the park in January on Mom's day off...

My youngest daughter Jodee and Jacob in February, just before Valentines Day, at Disneyland.

I will be visiting in California for my oldest daughter Holly's baby shower, babysit my husband's two grand daughter's a few days, visit Dad, family and drive back with my daughter Jodee as she will be attending a trade show here in Vegas.  We have shopping and planning to do for her upcoming wedding in July....

Everyone have a great, safe and happy weekend.

~dkb~

Sleepy Smiles...

Mom and my sister Holly both went to visit Dad today at 11am.  When they arrived, Dad was being given his shower.  Holly had noticed someone had signed in to visit Dad, and they found out later it was a male CNA from Hospice who visits Dad twice a week.

They took Dad out front and Holly showed him the pansies and other flowers thriving in the warm sunshine.  Dad loved it.  He seemed very happy to see them but called both Mom and my sister by my name, Donna.

The nurse had asked them if they would like to see Dad's pinkie toe after his shower before she bandaged it up.  Mom did not want to see it, and my sister didn't either, but she felt she should take a picture for my records.  Later, she told me it looked like an alien.  When I looked at her picture, I could see his other toes are looking swollen and red now...

She took a picture of Dad as well.  His right eye with the skin cancer is completely closed now.  Dad will not allow the wound care nurse to clean it.  The melanoma on his temple is larger, blacker and more misshapen.  The skin cancer on his upper lip was red, like he had picked the scab and the caregiver did not want to scrap it any further, so he left stubble around the wound when he shaved Dad.

Dad had a cough.  My sister said it seemed "fake" or "like he could not get up the force within his chest to make it a productive cough".  Dad would form his mouth to cough and then tried to make the effort to cough.

I am not going to post any of the pictures Holly took.  Dad looks gaunt and thin, despite his smile...

Mom said she missed hearing about Dad's imaginary adventures, as Dad was happy but quiet...Holly tried to call me on my cell, but I was not feeling well this morning and had gone back to bed with ear plugs in my ears.

When the lunch carts were being pushed down the hallways, Holly pushed Dad in his wheel chair back into the lunch room.  The server gave Dad a chocolate Ensure supplement to drink and he took it and drank it all down.  He drank his milk, coffee and a full glass of water.  He picked at his hamburger patty, taking a few bites.  Mom fed him a couple bites of peas and carrots, before he told her he was full.

Both of them attempted to get him to eat a bit more, but Dad was not interested.  He told them he was tired.  My sister said it seemed the shower wore him out.  He kept closing his other eye and seemed very tired.  Dad has RA and his hands are very distorted and curled making it very difficult for him to feed himself.

I can tell Dad is getting fuller faster, or losing his appetite.  He is sleeping in later and if he is eating breakfast that late, he is probably too full for lunch.