This blog was formerly dedicated in 2009 to my Dad who died of Alzheimer's in 2013. It's been three years now...and I find myself missing blogging...so I am re-inventing my blog... because, after all, life is about moving through, and going forward...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Good News, Bad News...

Dad's Chaplain friend and former co-worker, who still is a volunteer Chaplain at the hospital, prison and nursing homes, came by yesterday to visit with Dad.  He sent Mom an email telling her how well Dad looked and how happy he is!  He said it is the best he has seen Dad look all year and asked if Dad has gained weight...which he has.

They sat on the patio for over an hour and discussed John Wayne, Nelson Eddy, Jeanette McDonald, Seattle, an Alaskan Cruise, sports, lots of mutual friends and many more things.  He told Mom he really enjoyed himself.

He had needed to take three months off from the Chaplain service to keep his sanity.  He and his wife were remodeling their kitchen, their daughter had gotten married and they also had family from England staying with them.

We were all so pleased to hear of their wonderful visit.  Dad has wonderful friends and it is so good they continue to come and visit him.  I know it means the world to Dad.

I want to call him tomorrow as he is due to have his conference call on Wednesday.  We have been very busy beavers around our home.  We are shredding, cleaning, making Goodwill donations, selling some old furniture with a consignment shop, buying some new pieces, having the carpets and tile cleaned, the grout cleaned and resealed.... and the decluttering continues.

My husband and I have been enjoying going out and about together instead of me on the computer and him in front of the TV... we have been searching for a few new things to give our home a fresh new look since we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary!

We celebrated at a wonderful Italian restaurant at Green Valley Ranch called Terra Verde.  Some of you may remember it from Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen.  Two different winners of the show got head Chef jobs in Vegas, one being Terra Verde.

They serve a delicious complimentary relish plate of tossed peppers, artichoke hearts, black and green olives, cheese and lightly battered zuccini slice chips.  Their bread is an assorted basket of  various breads and bread sticks.  We had soup, ceasar salad (next time we will split one) and split Chicken Picata. 

We could barely waddle away from the table!  My husband had two Lemon Drop martinis and I tried a Raspberry martini made with Belvedere Vodka which was suggested by our food server.  WOW was it yummy!  I am not a big drinker..but this did not even taste like booze.  They use fresh raspberries and I guess the vodka has a citrus in it which tones down the raspberries. 

It was such a nice dinner and a wonderful evening.  We sat over candle light with white linen table cloths and just really enjoyed one another.  We exchanged beautiful cards and called it a night.

Now for the bad news.  Mom is not doing well...in fact my sister and I do not think she is getting better.  She has canceled all her many activities, including church, which she so used to enjoy. We are very concerned for her. 

She was only going out twice a week, to have her hair done and pick up her Jenny Craig food...but going grocery shopping is too much and she needs someone to go for her.  Last week she did not even go to Jenny Craig. 

She feels like her legs are going to go out from under her.  She keeps feeling like there are electric shocks going through her legs.  Sounds like a pinched nerve to me... She really is miserable.  The physical therapy does not seem to be helping...

Today, my sister brought Mom two walkers she had purchased at the thrift store.  One for upstairs, one for down.  We all think Mom should switch rooms with my niece, who lives with Mom, as Mom sleeps upstairs.  Mom is not happy about it because she loves her cross breeze she gets sleeping in the fresh night air.  If she slept downstairs, she would not leave her windows open.  She would not feel safe.

Mom has mentioned to both my sister and I how difficult it is for her to keep up that big house.  She has to hand water because Dad never wanted automatic sprinklers.  He always enjoyed watering and talking with the plants.  The house is just too much.  I hate to think of not having the ol' homestead to go to and visit...but the times, they are a changing...

Mom would probably be extremely relieved and happy in Assisted Living.  She would not have the burden of all the upkeep attached to owning a home, plus she would have scheduled activities she could pick or choose to enjoy and she would have her meals prepared for her and a nice private little room to sleep in...preferably on the 2nd floor...

Dad is in a nursing home and needs 24 hour care.  Mom does not need that... so they would probably be in two different areas... We may have to start searching around as my niece is getting married next summer and will move out of the house.  I would imagine, depending on what we can find for Mom, we may have to sell the house to pay for the assisted living... Medicare or Medi-Cal does not pay for Assisted Living, unless we can find something through HUD.

We found the nicest place in Riverside, CA for my husband's Mom.  It was wonderful!  The food was really tasty.  I used to go and have lunch with her as often as they would allow me to do so.  Lots of fun activities and exercise.  Really a beautiful campus.  I want something like that for our Mom...

Please keep both Mom and Dad in your prayers, as I know so many of you do.  I am hoping for a miracle for Mom...she is so full of life and I hate she is having so much pain.  She does her best to be strong, but pain has been an unwelcome visitor and it has overstayed its welcome with Mom!

10 comments:

Jeanie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's problems, Donna. It does sound like some sort of assisted living my be right for her now. I know it is a really hard decision and a hard change for everyone.
Happy anniversary....I'm glad you guys had such a great time.

Mari said...

I'm so sorry to hear your Mom isn't doing better. Pain can be so debilitating. It's good to hear the good report on your Dad, though. I'll pray for both of them.

Linda O'Connell said...

These are difficult decisions. I pray for you and your family. Hope your mom gets siome relief from
the pain.

Thisisme. said...

Hi Donna. First of all, many congratulations on your 10th wedding anniversary.Sounds like you had a lovely evening with your meal out. Good also that you are actually out and doing things, instead of just hubby watching TV and you sat at the computer! Memo to self - step away from the blogging every so often and go out and enjoy life!! Good to hear about your dad's visit with his friend, and that he is looking good,. But now you've got your poor mum to worry about, which is such a shame. I will continue to pray that she will recover and get back to her old self. Such a pity when a fall can cause such a difference in them. I suspect that she has lost a lot of confidence as well, which is just so sad. Hugs my friend.

Pat said...

I'm glad to hear that your Dad is doing so well, but so sorry to hear about your Mom. I think it would be wise to start looking for an assisted living apartment for her and get her settled in before your niece moves out. Do they have assisted living in the same place as where your father is? or is it just a nursing home? I will pray for both your parents and family. Take care.

Donna said...

So sorry to hear about your Mom. Sure sounds like she has a pinched nerve. My husband suffered the same thing and had to have surgery. The doctor said he didn't know how he withstood the pain. A big home with a yard, is hard to keep up when your health isn't that good. Hope everything works out for the best. Will keep your mom in my prayers.

JeannetteLS said...

I missed this entry!!! I am so relieved to see that YOU are okay. I am sorry that sounds horrible, and I don't mean it in a horrible way. I was worried... but after the initial relief it sunk in about your mom and I am praying for a miracle. Pain is always an unwelcome visitor, and your mom has had too much on her plate for a long time.

I AM glad that you are finding time with your husband to be such a joy. That matters. A lot--YOU have too much on your own plate as well, although I Do know you grab the beauty with both hands.

Forgive me if my initial reaction was relief. You know I care, and you know your mom and dad are in my prayers and thoughts--probably more often than you'd expect, since you and I have met online only.

Nerve pain CAN and often DOES disappear as abruptly as it appears. And i have had horrible issues of that electric current pain that did let up. So I will pray that this happens for her. With all my heart.

Take care. I miss you online, but that's okay. If it's because you are LIVING life to its fullest, GOOD. Be good to yourself in all this, too.

Nezzy said...

Sounds like your Daddy is surrounded by good carin' people.

I'll be sure to keep you sweet Mom and Dad in my heart and prayers sweetie.

I took the summer off and am just tryin' to catch up with everyone...an impossible task in this busy bloggy~land!!! Heeehehehe!!!

God bless ya and have a beautiful weekend sweetie!!! :o)

JeannetteLS said...

Still thinking of your and your mom, Donna... hoping everything is okay.

Trees said...

Hi Donna, just catching up on some of your entries. Happy to hear your Dad is doing well. So sorry about your Mom and the severity of her pain. I know well about chronic pain and it is hard to enure at times. An assisted living place sounds like your Mother would come to enjoy it and would relieve her of all that goes with owning a large home, although it will be hard to let it go.
My prayers and thoughts are with your Mom and Dad. You sound