Mom visited Dad today and is questioning the Psychiatrist's decision to lessen Dad's dosage on his anti-depressants...
She arrived while Dad was eating his lunch. When she walked over to greet him, he smiled and told her he was glad she came because he was going to call her to take him shopping for some tennis shoes. Mom felt the panic rising within her, so she called Doctor-Doctor over for re-enforcements. Doctor-Doctor told Dad they could not go shopping today. When she left, Dad looked at Mom, telling her if she did not take him shopping, he would call a cab.
When Dad lived at home, he was always shopping for hats and shoes. He would come home with tons of hats, but rarely a pair of shoes because he did not like the quality, yet if my brothers had shoes they no longer wanted, he would tell them he could use them. He has a whole closet full of shoes of varying sizes. He could spend the day shopping and come home with nothing. I know, because I made the mistake of shopping with him on several occasions. It is always an exercise in frustration!
Dad always wore his shoes too big. He would wear two or three pairs of socks to make them fit. Both Mom, my sister and I were constantly coaxing him to get his feet properly measured. When I convinced him to get his feet measured one particular day while we were shopping for shoes for his grand son's wedding, he insisted the man did not know how to measure properly. He was convinced he wore size 12, when he wore size 10. This unreasonable examples were all to real signs Dad was going down the one way street of dementia...
Mom attempted to distract him with his lunch, helping him shovel his turkey, peas, and mashed potatoes into his mouth. He still had his ice cream, Ginger bread, roll, milk and coffee... but told Mom he was NOT going to eat them, and brought up the shoe shopping again...
Mom reminded him how much he loves ice cream. Dad asked why she was not home watching their children. Mom told him their children were all grown. In a rude tone, he asked what she does with all her time. Mom reiterated about her having the windows replaced, the house being treated for termites and replacing the patio roof. Abruptly, Dad told her he did not want to hear any more! Mom looked at his tray and he had polished off all the rest of his lunch while arguing with her!
Mom had brought Dad a book on Catalina, one of his friends at church had written. Dad used to be a faithful fan of the Huell Houser Travel Series and rarely missed a program. His friend had been featured on one of Huell's shows and Dad had been very impressed. Dad did not even bother to look at it and told Mom to take it home. He said he would read it later, when he got home...
Dad told Mom he was ready to go. She thought he meant he wanted to go out on the patio.
"NO! I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO GO GET TENNIS SHOES!!"
Mom was momentarily stunned, as last week's visit had been so good... Dad yelled at her again,
"TAKE ME INTO THE HALL!!"
When she finished pushing his wheel chair into the hallway, he turned and told her to GO HOME and he would take care of things himself!
Mom gave him a quick kiss and left. She stopped at the nursing station to ask one of them to see if he wanted to go to his room or back to the lunch room with his friends. She related what had happened and one of the nurses told her a student nurse had tried to put shoes on Dad earlier in the morning.
Because of Dad's wound on his pinkie toe, he is NOT suppose to wear shoes, only foam booties or very soft slippers. No doubt when the student nurse struggled to get his shoes on, which causes him discomfort, he probably thought he needed new shoes.
After reading Mom's email, I called the nursing home and spoke with the charge nurse. She and I agreed it might be a good idea for Mom to bring all his shoes home. He should only be wearing soft slippers or his foam booties anyway. I asked her to talk to the morning shift and to put a note in his room and on his chart. She said she would.
I know this will upset Mom and no doubt she is screening her calls now, because when I called, the answering machine picked it up...
Hopefully, this mishap is not a result of lessening his dosage...he has not had an outburst like this in awhile.
I had asked the nurse if I could speak with Dad and she told him he was in the middle of his activities and suggested I call back after dinner. I know better. Dad has Sun downers and is not in the happiest of moods in the evening. We will all hold our breath when we go to celebrate his birthday at the nursing home at 7pm. Mom and I will go earlier in the day and make sure the nurses have him rest, and have an early dinner. We did the same thing last year and he was in very good spirits.
Oh Lord, please allow Dad to be rested and in good spirits for his birthday next week...AMEN!