He Sings Ava Maria....

Mom and my sister Holly went to visit Dad yesterday.  They found him in the dining room wearing a new baby blue velour jacket and pants, a gift from Doctor-Doctor (one of Dad's favorite caregivers).  Dad looks great in blue.  He was happy to see them both and recognized my sister, calling her his pet name, Holl Doll.

Dad's lunch of turkey, stuffing, zucchini, beets, watermelon, wheat bread and butter, coffee, milk and ice cream.  He scarfed up every bite leaving nothing but shine on his plate...

He leaned over to my sister and whispered to her, "Can you tell me why I am here?"

Holly told him he was there because it is the very best place to take care of him.

"I agree....that is a good answer."

Both Mom and Holly complimented on how nice he looked in his new outfit.  Doctor-Doctor explained to them how Dad had admired someone else wearing a similar outfit, so she bought him one.  Very sweet of her.

Mom, Holly and Doctor-Doctor continued to chat with Dad.  Doctor-Doctor coaxed Dad to sing Ava Maria, which he did in full voice.  Dad did great the first couple bars then he made up his own words... "I want you, I want you"....

Of course they all had a long laugh and Dad joined in the laughter...my sister took the opportunity to take his picture in the midst of laughter....(see below) and also videotaped him singing...

Dad laughing...

I would love to share the video my sister took, but a woman is in the background and I would not want to post some one's loved one without their permission.  I was able to crop her out of this picture.

Mom asked Dad how old he thought he would be in two weeks....Dad told her, "I will be 50 years old." (Bless his heart, he will be 92.)  Again, they all had a good chuckle.

One of the other female residents, who frequently yells, pulled off her shirt, exposing herself...while the staff struggled with her to cover herself, non of the other residents seemed to notice or even pay attention.  Apparently she does it so often it has lost its novelty...

Dad didn't miss a beat and prided himself on how nice the windows are and how well he keeps them inspected...and having more money than he can count on in Chicago...

Both Mom and Holly felt good with how happy Dad seemed and told them both how great he felt.  He insisted he had no pain and felt fantastic.

Dad's doctor is going to attempt the liquid nitrogen again...and consult with a surgeon as well regarding Dad's left foot.

The Hospice nurse sent me a photograph on my cell phone of Dad's foot. I was very shocked.  It looks so much worse than when I last saw it last May...  I asked my brother K_____ if he would not mind looking at it because I needed reassurance and a second opinion from family that we are going in the right direction.

He was shocked too.  He agreed we have to go with what Dad's doctor and the surgeon recommend.  If they say Dad needs amputation of his left foot...and we don't...it will only be a short time before infection sets in...I am amazed it has not become infected already.  A tribute to the care and attention Dad receives at the nursing home.

We stay united in prayer and know each day, each moment we have Dad is a blessing from God.

Prayers Answered...For Now....

Dad's doctor emailed me.  Our prayers were answered....for now.  He saw Dad last Friday and has determined Dad does not need amputation of his left foot yet....  He wants to try the liquid nitrogen again.

I am awaiting an email picture of Dad's foot from the hospice nurse... The last time I saw his foot was last May...

When Mom returned home, she had two phone messages from Dad.  One wanted to know where she was and the other wanted her to bring him some money...

I double checked with the nursing staff and they were unaware Dad made any calls.  One of the male caregivers, who spends a great deal of time with Dad, told me he thinks it is the only phone number Dad remembers and he calls it when he thinks of Mom.

Mom and I had a wonderful visit.  I got a wheel chair for her so when we went out to dinner and to take her gambling on her penny machines, it was so much more comfortable for her and kept her energy level higher.

We are planning on going to visit Dad as a family the Sunday before his 92nd birthday the first week in November.  The nursing home always celebrates all the October and November birthdays on Dad's birthday. It will start right after his nap... Very convenient because Dad thinks all the fuss is just for him.

Many thanks to all of my dear friends who continue to pray for Dad.

An Email from Dad's Doctor....

I finally got an email from Dad's doctor this morning...  He told me he had not been informed of the wound care doctor's recommendation for amputation on Dad's left foot.  He said he had been busy and had his Physician's Assistant visiting Dad, and she had not mentioned anything to him.  He will go visit Dad personally, this Friday, and then get back to me.

WARNING: GROSS EXPLANATION:  Dad had a small skin cancer on his left pinky toe.  It was originally a blister before he entered the nursing home.  Somewhere in between his poor circulation and  last year, the wound would not heal and eventually was diagnosed as a basal cell carcinoma.  It turned purple and began turning half his foot purple.  Just below his ankle, he has a plum sized dark purple growth.  That is how it looked last May when I was shocked to see it.

The nursing home just kept telling me the wound was not healing...and it was red and swollen, but no one ever prepared me for what I saw.  They continue to keep in clean, and keep Dad on antibiotics or antibiotic creams.

I told Dad's doctor we need to know the pros and cons on not amputating and the amputation.  So far, the wound on his left foot is not infected.

We all feel the odds are not with Dad to be put to sleep for surgery to remove his foot...and if by some miracle he did survive it, and had any consciousness or awareness at all, he would be totally traumatized realizing he did not have a left foot!  None of us can imagine explaining it to him.  He would FREAK!

So far, he is not in pain, nor does he complain of any.  We anticipate if his foot did get infected, it could turn to gangrene due to his poor circulation in his legs.  The doctor said they can not feel a pulse in his legs.

We just have to put Dad in the hands of the Lord...and see what unfolds.  We need the doctor to give us our options and go from there...

Face Time and Dread...

Our family company left late last night after a wonderful, fun weekend...the sheets and towels are washed, the bed re-made, everything cleaned and tidy...ready for my Mom's arrival tomorrow morning.  She is going to stay with us until the 14th, which is our 11th wedding anniversary...

We are all on pins and needles...the wound care doctor had the nursing home called me last Saturday to advise me he is recommending amputation of Dad's left foot. They had left a message for me to call Friday evening when I was walking my dog.

I have been emailing and calling Dad's primary care physician since July, around the time Hospice started.  I wanted clarification on Dad's left foot since the physician had stopped Cryotherapy because it was not working.

In my email, I asked the doctor what would happen if we DO NOT have the foot amputated....I am guessing there is a chance of infection or gangrene since Dad does not have good circulation in his legs.
I don't want to guess...we need to hear from the doctor on what our options are...because amputation will probably mean the end for Dad...

My sister Holly called to let me know she was on her way to visit Dad and she wanted to face time with me so I could see Dad.  (Face Time is like Skype, on Apple products).

When she arrived at the nursing home, Dad was in the dining room playing ball.  The staff pushes all the tables together and sit the residents around the table.  They take turns pushing a large beach ball back and forth, up and down the table.  Holly video taped the exercise on her iPad and after awhile, asked Dad if he wanted to go to the lobby for a visit...

Dad thought Holly was me.  When she got me on face time, Dad began to laugh happily when he saw me on the screen.  I waved, smiled and blew him kisses....he returned the kisses, only he kissed the screen!  He did not have his glasses on so he held the screen which is larger than 5" x 7" about an inch from his face...so all I could see was his right eye with the cancer.  I could see how the cancer has spread from his lower eye lid, to the center of his eye and up the side of the bridge of his nose...

Dad didn't say much...he was struggling to see me...must have been difficult looking at the screen so closely...Holly attempted to get Dad to sit back so I could see his full face...but he would go right back to holding the screen close to his face.

I asked if his eye hurt him...and he told me no...told me he felt fine and kept giving the screen kisses.
We visited for about 10 minutes...me talking and Dad laughing and kissing...

After our visit, Holly showed Dad pictures from my grand son's recent 2 year birthday party...pointing out the 7 year old (who will turn 8 the end of this month) and the 10 year old...  Dad seemed very confused on the names and who was who...

When Holly took him back to the dining room for lunch, Pickles, one of the nurses, asked Dad who the pretty lady was visiting him...meaning my sister....and Dad replied, "Oh, this is Donna".  Pickles knows it was my sister Holly...  My sister is so gracious and understands how much Dad loves her, but the disease short circuits his brain, criss-crossing his memories and emotional connections.  Its one of the more difficult challenges we each endure on our journey with Dad...

We all agree it is getting more and more difficult to see him more confused and the inevitability of his afflictions.  My sister noticed how awful his eye looked...but could not investigate his foot...she cannot deal with gruesome stuff like his foot...although Dad seemed happy, he appeared more confused than he has been in a long while...

She kissed him good bye and left him to enjoy the Bible Study and guitar playing.  Dad just loves the music and hearing the Word...Dad thanked her for coming...

I've had this sense of doom for some time now... I want the doctor to return my email...but at the same time, I don't want to read or hear what he is most likely going to tell me...

Dad Needs More "Moola" to Buy a Car...

Mom went to visit Dad today after she ran her errands.  She is coming to visit us in Henderson, NV next Tuesday, October 9th.  It will be good to have her here all to myself.  I know it will be nice for her too, getting away and relaxing.

Mom found Dad in the dining room awaiting lunch.  Dad's Navy friend joined the table complaining as usual, this time he was cold.  Dad's caregiver whispered to Mom about him always being cold.  Mom gave him some coffee to warm him up and he drank it right down.  Dad told Mom "the seasonings were off" on his coffee so he pushed it aside and would not drink it...Dad picked up his milk glass and drained it.  Mom offered to get Dad some fresh coffee and fix it the way he likes it...but he was not interested.

A delicious lunch of fresh baked fish, some new type of rice, broccoli, pears with cinnamon candy juice (which both Dad and his Navy buddy scarfed up!), bread, butter and ice cream arrived and Dad dived in.

One of the therapists stopped by their table to chat.  She noticed how much Dad was enjoying his ice cream so she reminded him they were serving milk shakes in the afternoon.  Dad's eyes lit up and he told her he would enjoy that...  Mom suggested Dad take a nap so he would not be too tired to enjoy the milk shakes.  Dad agreed.

During their talk, Dad asked Mom for more moola (money) again... Mom told him to ask my brothers E____ and K____ who were in charge of that.  "I'll have to go to Covina for that...I am thinking of buying a car..." (This kind of talk makes Mom nervous, because Dad usually talks about needing money and getting a car for a long trip he is planning, when he would be off his "happy meds".  But both of us checked and he is still on them...)

Mom shared with Dad the price of the current gas prices and Dad decided he would stay where he is and post pone his trip....(good one Mom...) He told her again how he was in charge of the windows....then he mentioned a lady friend who had died.  He was very happy she had been buried in the family plot.  

Mom asked Dad if she knew the lady.  After thinking for a few minutes, he decided she did not know her.  Then Dad introduced her to his Navy buddy.  Mom told Dad she had already met him.  The Navy guy told her he was cold...

Doctor-Doctor (one of Dad's favorite care givers), told Mom she would be caring for Dad today and the rest of the month.  Mom told her how much we all appreciate her and the other caregivers, taking such great care of Dad.  She told Mom Dad was scheduled to get a hair cut today, but the hairdresser was sick so he would get his hair cut on Monday.  Mom thought Dad's eye looked clean, but was larger than she remembers...

Dad thanked Mom for visiting and she told him she would visit again soon.

On the way home, a big black SUV tapped Mom's bumper from behind at a stop light (on a busy street).  She turned the corner and pulled over to investigate.  The driver of the SUV pulled in behind her and asked if she was OK.  Mom said she was, but wanted to see if there was any damage.  They both looked and everything was fine.  Mom was very relieved.  (Personally, I am very relieved as well.  I am so glad this did not happen at night.  I plan on cautioning her NOT to stop if it were...)