It's Good to Have a Purpose in Life...

I called the nursing home yesterday about a message I had received from them.  The message said Dad's doctor had ordered a culture on Dad's pinkie toe because it is not healing...  I called to remind them a biopsy had already been done and it was confirmed it was a basal cell carcinoma.  When I spoke with the charge nurse, she told me two hours after giving the nursing home the orders, the doctor called to cancel it. He probably read his office records and realized it had already been done.

I told the charge nurse Dad should have a culture on his right eye as my Mom, sister and brother had all reported how bad Dad's eye looks.  Our family has taken the position, unless Dad is in pain, we won't put him through the trauma of surgery.

I asked the charge nurse if I could speak with Dad and she put Dad right on the phone.  He recognized my voice and told me how happy he was.

"I feel so good and am so happy today!"

"I'm glad to hear that Dad!"

"I have been exercising....I love how these lovely people make it possible for me to keep in shape..."

"Yes, it is so important...I remember how much you love to exercise and took walks twice a day..."

"Oh yeah, I love exercising...it makes me feel so  good! And it very important to have a purpose in life..."

"I agree Dad.  Your purpose is to be happy and to keep exercising so you can feel good..."

"AAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"NO! STOP THAT!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH"

"I'M GOING TO BITE YOU!"

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHH!!!"

"Dad!  Dad, what is wrong?

"She is touching my eye -----AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH NO! NOOOOOOOO!"

"Dad, does your eye hurt when she touches it?"

"Yes,  I don't like it when they touch it... I tried to bite her."

"Dad, NO BITING!  She is just trying to help you by wiping the goop out of your eye."

"STAY AWAY!  YOU'RE FIRED! GET AWAY!"

"Dad?  She is trying to help you...."

"Dad? Dad?  Would you like me to do some research and find a good doctor to look at your eye so we can make it better?"

"Yes, I think that is a good idea."

"OK Dad, I will find a good doctor....we'll get Doctor-Doctor or I______ to go on the transport with you and we'll have Mom or one of us meet you there to be with you.  How does that sound?"

"It sounds good.  I want to take care of myself."

(Here's hoping Dad keeps this frame of mind and does not give the doctor a rough time when his appointment rolls around....)

Dad told me the lunch trays were coming so he had to go eat with his friends....

Love you Dad....

How To Measure the Value of a Life...

My brother E____ and his new iPad went to visit Dad today.  My brother arrived just after lunch and found Dad sitting in his wheel chair in the hallway in front of the nurses station.  E_____ stood about 15 feet from Dad, and kept inching closer to see how close he would have to be before Dad would notice him.  When he was about five feet from Dad, Dad erupted in a joyful recognition, reaching up to grab my brother in a big bear hug.

E____ wheeled Dad out on the patio and showed him pictures on his iPad.  Dad loved seeing my brother's dogs and places he had traveled.

My brother reported how bad Dad's eye looks.  Dad carries a towel to wipe his eye which is always weeping.

Dad told E____ he needed to discuss something with him and of course my brother was all ears and eager to hear what was on Dad's mind...

"Son, how do I measure my life's worth with the world?"

"Dad, you don't need to worry about the world....it is how much you are loved and respected by your family.  It is all about family and friends, Dad..."

"But how do I measure my value..."

"Dad, we love you.  You were the best you could be.  Your life matters to us."

"How much money am  I worth?"

"Hey, Dad...you are priceless. You are a very rich man....but you cannot take it with you.  Did you ever see a cargo rack on top of a hearse?  You can't take gold, silver and stuff to Heaven with you..."

Smiling, "Yeah, that is a good way to look at it...."

"It is all about what is inside your heart and soul Dad... You are in good shape..."

Their conversation pleased Dad and the relief of it made Dad sleepy.  He told E____ he was ready to go inside...

"You ready for a little siesta Dad?"

"That sounds like just what I need...."


My brother wheeled Dad back to his room, signaling Dad's attendant for the day, who tucked Dad all cozy in his bed.  E_____ leaned over and gave Dad a hug and a kiss, wishing him sweet dreams...

A St. Patty's Day Visit with Dad...

Mom and my sister Holly went to visit Dad on St. Patrick's Day.  Holly had received her iPad in the mail and took it to show Dad pictures of the family and to take him virtual traveling...HE LOVED IT!  She asked him to write his name on the iPad, thinking he might not be able to because the last time she and Mom asked when Dad needed to sign some paperwork, he signed with an "X". He surprised both Mom and my sister by signing his name very legibly.

I was kind of surprised at how Dad looked.  There is something in his eyes... He looks tired...or maybe it is because his hair is so long.  His right eye looks terrible...I would not be surprised if it was cancer, because he has had issues with that eye a good four years.  He stopped getting it checked because the eye doctor told him he "thought it might be cancer and wanted to take a biopsy..."  When Dad hears "the B (biopsy) word", he freaks and starts yelling, "NO, NO, NO!!"

He has a melanoma on his left temple which is growing in size and he has that lesion on his upper lip as well...We all decided as a family we would not put him through any tests unless he is in pain or has a serious issue to keep him calm.

When Mom and Holly arrived, Dad had just finished his lunch.  Dad laughed with joy and marveled at Holly's iPad.  She had him play a few video games which he enjoyed immensely.  He was totally captivated when they traveled to Washington DC, the Taj Mahal and a train ride through the Swiss Alps all via U-Tube.  Holly said it was worth the price of the iPad just watching Dad's expressions!

Holly gave Dad a nice shoulder massage, making him feel sleepy.  Dad told her he was ready for a nap, so they took him back to his room.  Doctor-Doctor followed them into his room and help Dad stand from his wheel chair to brush his teeth before bed.  As he stood up, he did a little happy jig for Mom and Holly, which made them all laugh...

Holly stopped at the door, as is her tradition between her and Dad, and blew him a kiss....he caught it and blew her one back...

Sweaty Armpits...

So my seven year old grand son has decided he wants to play soccer instead of baseball this year.  He learned to play by inviting himself to play with other kids playing soccer during recess at school.  Apparently he learned a lot.  They had their first game, which was a tie game 4 to 4.  My grandson made two of the goals and the other two were made by a kid who has been playing soccer since he was five.  My grandson did really well; even defending the goal without the Coach instructing him to.

After the game, my grandson informs his mother (my oldest daughter), "Mom, I really had sweaty armpits after our soccer game..."

My daughter asks, "You worked really hard today... do you like having sweaty armpits?"

"Sure! he replied, "It's the smell of victory!"

Another Phone Call From Dad...

Dad called Mom tonight.  He was calmer, but still focused on getting money and a car.

"I need to get myself a car and open a bank account.  I have friends I want to take to lunch."

Mom was frazzled from wrestling with her on/off Internet connection, so she was not her usual quick witted self with diplomatic responses...

"You'll have to talk to your sons about this Don, I am tearing my hair out right now with this computer.  I may have to call a computer repair man..."

"Have you sent my check yet?"

"What check?"

"My check."

"You mean your pension check?"

"Yes, my pension check...I need some money."

"Your pension check goes into our account to pay all the bills..."

"I need a car too..."

"Well, like I said...talk to the boys..."

Mom began to talk about her frustration with her computer not working, but Dad was not interested, so he told her he had to go and hung up...


Mom called me to vent...  We both were frustrated the nursing home OBVIOUSLY did not disconnect his phone as they promised....

I need to go to Bible Study tomorrow... and the Tax guy comes at 1pm...then, I will call and tackle the nursing home...

Our contractor for our patio project (see all about it here) was suppose to come yesterday...but it was too windy....

Our contractor was going to come today instead...but he sliced his hand while loading equipment to come to our home...

He has to let his hand heal...but will try to make it by Saturday or next Monday...

Like I said, I need to go to Bible Study tomorrow....

Dad's on the Rampage...Here We Go Again...

"HELLO? (Mistaking my brother's voice on Mom's recording, for my youngest brother E_____)

"E_____ GET MY FRIEND WITH THE CAR AND TELL HIM TO BRING MONEY AND PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW!  DO YOU HEAR ME?"

(No answer because Dad is yelling into the recorder...Mom will not pick up the phone when Dad is like this...because it is like throwing gasoline on a fire..."

"I CAN'T FIND YOUR MOTHER...I"VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR HER.  WHERE IS SHE????"

"HELLO!"


"I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR MONEY, TELL MY FRIEND WITH THE CAR TO GET OVER HERE!"

"HELLO?"

"I AM LEAVING THIS PLACE RIGHT NOW!  I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE AND THEY CAN'T HANDLE ME!"

"HURRY UP!"   Click!

Dad made two more calls like this during the course of the day...

I called this morning to follow up on the call I made last night.  I asked them to get Dad back on his Lexapro...we go through this every time they take Dad off "his happy pills".  I guess Medicare keeps close tabs on his medication and when he does better (better?  Hello, he has Alzheimer's!  It's like taking him off his Alzheimer's medication for Pete's Sake!) Medicare thinks he should be taken off the medication...

I wish those Medicare Monitors had parents with Alzheimer's and they had to go through what we go through when Dad goes off his medication!

I called back in the afternoon after I had not heard from her from this morning...plus Mom had called me after listening to Dad's rantings on the phone machine...The charge nurse told me she had called the Psychiatrist, but had not heard from him yet...  I asked for his phone number and called his office.  Funny thing, the psych nurse said no one from the nursing home had called, and the doctor was on call....  So I reiterated how our family wants Dad back on his Lexapro because we don't want him to end up in the Psych ward.  I ask for the doctor to call the nursing home and gave her the phone number and name of the charge nurse...

Within an hour, the charge nurse called and said she was faxing the prescription to the pharmacy.  I asked her to unplug Dad's phone since she told me they could not take it out of his room...guess they need it there in case of an emergency.  She said she would unplug it.  I am hoping if the phone does not work, Dad will go to the nursing station and ask for help in calling...then they can have him call me (like they are suppose to do) instead of bothering Mom.  Poor thing, her blood pressure and heart rate were off the charts...

Hopefully, he will be back on the medication by tomorrow morning.  The doctor also prescribed Ativan if Dad gets aggressive...but that medication is only to be used as a last resort.

Let's hope, we can get Dad back on track and feeling happy and content again...

A Stormy Phone Call from Dad...

Dad called Mom today...

"Hello?"

"GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!  THIS IS URGENT!"

"Don, what's wrong?"

"YOU DID NOT LEAVE ME ANY MONEY!!!"

"I just saw you yesterday, I...."

"DID YOU HEAR ME? GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

"You do not need to worry about money, everything is paid for -----"

"GET OVER HERE I SAID OR I AM LEAVING!"


"Don...wait..."

"I SAID GET OVER HERE NOW OR I AM LEAVING!!!"

Click... Dad had hung up on her....

Mom was due to have a mole removed today and was on her way out the door when Dad called.  She quickly dialed the nursing home and spoke with the charge nurse, who told her she would go check on him...

Next, Mom called me.  She told me about Dad's call and discovered she had another message from Dad, only it was from the operator stating there was an urgent call trying to reach her and to call the following number...  Dad must have dialed the operator to call Mom.

Mom asked me to follow up because she had to leave or she would be late to her doctor appointment.

I was expecting my health insurance agent to find out about Medicare Advantage Plans... but I called the nursing home and spoke with the charge nurse.  She put me on hold and then came back.  She told me she had spoken with Dad, who seemed calmed down and promised he would not do it again...

I suggested they monitor him closely because Dad has these outbursts when he is off the depression medication.  Without it, he gets angry.  He was agitated yesterday when Mom visited him, yelling at people  who were running in the halls...

I think I am going to suggest they put him back on the medication and also remove the phone from his room.  The majority of the time when I can actually speak with Dad, they put him in an office to use the phone.  When he uses the phone in his room, he usually falls asleep on me.

Mom's blood pressure jumped sky high when her doctor tested her prior to removing her mole... Mom gets so upset when Dad calls her like this.  Mom told me unless she can identify the person calling her she is not going to answer the phone.

I will call again tomorrow and email his physician suggesting it.  I will also make sure there are new batteries in his wander guard anklet and bracelet...

My Dad, the President of the United States...

Mom went to visit Dad today.  She found him sleeping in his wheel chair.  Doctor-Doctor brought Mom a chair... she read for awhile, played Angry Birds on her cell, passing the time chatting with various staff coming and going...  After waiting a half hour or so, she rubbed Dad's shoulder to wake him up...

He opened one eye, looked at her as his face spread into a sleepy smile...

"I'm going to sleep a little longer..." and he proceeded to return to his slumber...

Doctor-Doctor came in and talked with Mom for awhile.  Dad has a little congested cough but is doing well with the expectorant they are giving him...  Doctor-Doctor decided it was close enough to lunch to wake Dad.  When he awoke, he was excited to see Mom telling her, "It's so good to see you...I love you soooooooo much!"

Doctor Doctor asked if he would like to eat in the lunch room, the patio or his room...Dad responded with, "Where ever my lovely wife would like to be..."  Mom decided to stay in his room as it was windy outside and no room for her to sit in the lunchroom.  Doctor-Doctor brought Mom some coffee when she brought Dad his delicious lunch...

Mom said Dad's eyes lit up and he began making happy sounds, licking his lips when the tray was placed in front of him, with his favorite food; spaghetti, garlic bread, green beans, green salad, vanilla pudding, coffee, ice cream and milk.  Dad grabbed the garlic toast, polishing that off in a few bites, then the green beans and the entire cup of coffee after Mom fixed it the way he likes it.

"Please feed me my salad and desserts dear..." so Mom fed him as she continued catching him up on the latest family news...  Dad's hands are very curled and crippled from his severe arthritis....

Whenever anyone would run down the hallway, Dad would yell out to them, "SLOW DOWN AND WALK!  No running in the hallway unless you want to be FIRED!"

Dad leaned into Mom and whispered to her, "You know Harry Truman and I were best friends,"and then loudly stated, "I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES."

Mom commented he used to be a Republican..."I still am...I converted Harry Truman.  I was with him all through his campaign.  I invented to Steam Engine, did you know that?"

"Yes, I know..." Mom said, "You sure have been busy..."

"Yes, I have...I remember all your political activities and friends..."  (Dad did not know hardly any of Mom's political friends because he disapproved of her being in outside activities instead of staying home...)

"Harry and I were so close we eventually became one person, one President."

After Dad finished his lunch, he announced to Mom, "I need to go up on the 3rd floor to check things out..." (The nursing home is one level.)

Mom told him everything checked out and was just fine....  Dad was tired, so Mom kissed him good-bye and said she would send in Doctor- Doctor to tuck him in...

In the hallway, the charge nurse stopped Mom and told her they would be putting Dad on an appetite enhancer because his weight has been fluctuating up and down.  She told Mom she would be calling me, but I have not received any phone calls...

Mom said Dad coughed a few times and sounded a little congested, but he told her he was feeling much better now that he could cough...

Dad was suppose to get his prostate checked before he went into the nursing home, but Dad kept canceling doctor appointments.  I took him to his Urologist who wanted to do a procedure on him to check out his incontinence of both bowel and bladder.  Dad kept insisting he did not have any problems, but I knew he did...

I know Prostate Cancer is very slow growing, but I wonder if his weight loss has anything to do with the possibility he might have prostate cancer...