Updates and What's Been Happening Around Here...

So much has been going on….I just had my sister come visit for a week and we had so much fun painting in our Art Journals, buying supplies at the many art/craft stores with our coupons, yard sailing and searching for bargains in the thrift stores.  It was SO GOOD having that one on one time with her.  I miss my family so much…and she is my only sister.  We have four brothers.

Another huge event, is my youngest daughter is having my first grand daughter mid April.  I will be going to stay with her for a couple, three weeks after she delivers.  She only has almost four months of maternity leave, so I will be taking Izzy my dog, and moving in with them in California to help out with the baby until she is old enough to be placed in Day Care.  I'll probably stay with them through December.

I am praying a reliable, child loving person will come into our lives and help my daughter and son in law feel comfortable in hiring a "stranger" who might become a trusted and extended member of their family…

I am also praying Izzy adjusts to an entirely different environment, people and their two Labradors.  Typically, Izzy has a "Napoleon Complex" barking and carrying on toward larger dogs.  I am hoping her preference to be around me helps her adjust and adapt.  I'd hate to leave her home with my husband, because I am STILL trying to walk off the extra weight she gained from my last three week trip to California in January. According to our Vet, Izzy needs to lose 8 pounds…yikes!

My youngest grandson's first birthday is the end of this month and we will board her while we are gone…so no doubt she will lose a few pounds over the weekend…at least I hope she does.

While I am in California, caring for my grand daughter, my husband will come out monthly for a week or two and stay with us and then return home to hold down the home front.

I am hoping, when my husband comes out, we can check out various properties and see if I can persuade him to move back to California.  I miss my two daughters, my four grand sons and now, soon,  new grand daughter.  I want to be more available for my Mom and I miss my family and friends.

I have been watching the news coverage daily.  My heart aches for all the families, loved one's and friends of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370.  I cannot imagine the roller coaster of hope and horror those people are all going through these past two weeks.  I am praying for a miracle….and hopefully, the plane is found.

Last but not least, I am still holding firm with my weight loss and am still deliberating and indecisive about whether to use this blog as my new art blog, or to create a new one.  My painting is more frequent then it was last year, but still no where close to daily, or even weekly….which disappoints me.

Retirement Has It's Challenges...

How does one stay organized after Retirement?  I really wanna know!

I admit, I have been very undisciplined and disorganized for some time now.  Last year's frequent, monthly or bi-monthly trips to California really took a toll on pretty much everything in our lives....especially our household, yard work, de-cluttering, production and keeping in touch with friends.

Before that, I had strained my right forearm/elbow and then twisted my ankle, so long periods at the computer came to a quick halt.  I could not stay on the computer as long as I had in the past.  My ankle was so sore I had to elevate it and ice it and despite trying to balance my laptop upon my lap, I was not successful...

Since the beginning of the year I decided to dive into my painting and see if I can make some extra money.  I have going back and forth between my writing (blogging) and my art and my writing has always been the priority, until my girls started having so many kids...

I went from three grand sons to four and now my youngest daughter is having my first grand daughter this April, which will make my fifth grand child!  My husband has six grand kids, so together, we will have ELEVEN!  He has six grown children and I have my two daughters, so again, together, we have EIGHT kids.

I would LOVE to move back to California...but I would have to drag my husband kicking and screaming.  Each trip, he is a non-stop complainer with the traffic getting from one home to the next.  I am grateful it is only a three and a half hour drive; and I am also grateful for Face Time and Skype to visit with the kids when we are here in Nevada...but it is not how I envisioned my life to be with our close family...

I have also promised myself this year to lose weight and I am happy to report I have lost ten pounds.  I am also volunteering one day a week at St. Jude's Thrift Store and joined the Women's Auxiliary.  Getting myself back on a schedule is the key...but it has been so very challenging.  Much more so than I figured.

My Mom's back has really been bothering her and I am very concerned.  I have been doing my best to convince her to come stay with us for awhile, but she insists she has too much to do.

She makes counted cross stitch Christmas stockings for all the great grand kids and her poor arthritic hands are moving as fast as she can to keep up.  Not only my two girls had children, but my brother's daughter and son in Ohio are each having one too.  If she did consent to come stay with us, I would have to bring her big magnifying mirror and all her cross stitch stuff too!

I have so many projects on my list and it seems the list keeps growing rather than getting shorter.

My long range goal is to find a way to incorporate my art, my blogging, my yard work, housework, and visits to California to see our children and grand children and still have time to have a life and spend time with my neighbors and friends.  It's not easy...

Is there anybody else out there having the same challenges?  Anyone have any suggestions?

Packing up Dad's Things and Remembering. Weekend in Laguna and Visiting Family.

I just returned from an extended trip to California.  I helped Mom with some heavy cleaning around her home and we sorted through all Dad's clothes and things she still had in the garage.  We donated most of it, but I kept three of his handkerchiefs.  I gave one to my sister and I kept two.  Dad ALWAYS carried a handkerchief.  I can still remember his sneeze and the way he blew his nose... Makes me smile just to think of it...

I took some of his shoe-stretchers for my husband, a letter opener and the noisy cow bell Dad used to hang from the front door when he lived at home.  He was so paranoid about someone breaking into the house. He was sure that noisy thing would startle any intruders and would certainly let him know trouble was in progress.

We still have so many of his books in Mom's office.  Dad had made book shelves in the closet to store some of them.  He had old college class books from Cal Poly on Mathematics, Science, Botany, Fertilization, Drafting, Design; books on Chess, Nature, Gold Mining and lots of  How to Fix It type books.

Mom still feels too disrespectful to get rid of them because Dad always held his books with such high regard...

One of the chores I did for Mom was to trim the Pomegranate tree outside her back porch.  I started that tree over fifty years ago when I used to steal the fruit off a neighbors tree, bring it home and sit on the back porch, spitting out the white part of the seeds after I had eaten the juicy red parts.  The tree is huge and produces so much fruit.

Mom sat on the patio and kept me company, often telling me to stop and rest...which I ignored.  I was using one of Dad's old Loppers, which had not been sharpened in several years.  Mom said I grimaced the same way Dad did when he trimmed it.  I told her I felt Dad was with me, helping guide me as to what branches to cut and which to keep.  I really did.

I have fond memories of Dad and I working in the yard together...he would always start by telling me the plants technical name and then it's common name.  He would tell me how much water to give it and how to trim the leaves, as if he were talking about a child I needed to know about when I babysat.  Some how he always made me feel like we were doing something so important and doing it with honor for living things.

He had me talking to the plants and feeling perfectly sane in doing so.  Later, after I moved out into my own apartment, I would leave classical music on for my plants.  I am still convinced it is why they all flourished and grew so big and healthy.

I attended one of my son in law's Mother's Memorial.  She battled cancer for over a year and died early Christmas morning.  It was a wonderful service.  My son in law and one of his dear friends worked on an extremely moving video of her life.  Very emotional.  A young 9 year old girl, unrelated to the family, other than friendship, had adopted Me-Maw (as all the grand kids called her) as her Grandmother-Me-Maw.
She wanted to sing a song in her honor and sang, In the Arms of an Angel.  If the song was not enough, her voice was like an angel, and there was not a dry eye in the entire room!

I spent a couple days with my youngest daughter, son in law and my three year old grandson....who was constantly reminding me of his baby sister residing in his Mother's belly and how she will be here soon to play with him...They had all been sick with the flu after the Memorial and my daughter was due to have her shower for my first grand daughter the day before I was to leave.  I said a prayer to keep me healthy and not to have my back go out as I disregarded all warnings by family members to not go because I might get sick.

I am happy to say, my daughter and son in law were able to get plenty of rest so she was able to attend her shower and I did not get sick or throw out my back.

I also visited my oldest daughter and my three grand sons.  Can you believe the 9 month old is walking already?  Or should I say, running?  And on his tip toes??  He has a rough time cutting teeth and constantly grunts to communicate.... He sounds like a little cave man, or a baby bear or elephant.  Once in a while he lets out a squeal...a laugh...usually when one of his brothers come into the room.  The older brother is 11 and the younger one is 9.  The baby just lights up with both of them and they get the biggest charge out of the little guy.

It was so good seeing everyone...I miss them so much.  I am grateful I am only 3.5 or 4 hours away instead of having to hop on a plane and fly to them.

Mom, my sister Holly, my youngest daughter and I had all planned to spend Martin Luther King weekend in Laguna Beach at the Pacific Edge Hotel.  Since my daughter was still sick, she did not get to join us.  We had a wonderful, relaxing time, but decided to come home one day early because my daughter felt so bad missing the weekend she insisted on still paying her portion.  By leaving early, we paid a little bit less than what our portions would have been if she had come.

My sister and I took a long walk on the beach, taking pictures and walked quite a ways.  There were several people walking their dogs on the beach, but on our way back, I noticed a woman walking a huge, white wolf.  I brought it to the attention of my sister and she did not believe me.  Sure enough, it was a rescued wolf from a sanctuary in Lucerne Valley.

A few months ago, I had been to a Meditation class.  I was particularly focused on wanting to connect with my Dad.  Instead, I got a visit from a big white wolf who guided me through the woods, lush plants and flowers to a clearing on a bluff above the ocean.  I sat with the wolf and enjoyed the view.

I asked the woman if the wolf had a name and she told me his name was Journey.  I got goose pimples thinking of my white wolf vision and the title of my blog being Mystical Journeys... It gave me such a good, peaceful feeling, as if it was destiny.

Memories of Dad and Blog Updates...

I've been cleaning out my garage and the section I used to use for my art studio.  I have been piling stuff on top of my work table and it had gotten way out of hand...

I came across the bin with ALL my Dad's saved letters and cards given to him for birthdays, Father's Day and get well wishes prior to him going into the nursing home.  He saved every one.  It has taken me a couple weeks to go through it with respect.  I tore the covers off some of the cards and put them in my stash for creative inspiration for future paintings...

I cut off stamps and the post marks of some of the older envelopes to save for one of my brothers who collects stamps...I saved all the letters so I can read and determine if a family member would like to have them back for sentimentality of for reference of memories.

I found both my and my youngest daughter's High School announcements.  I found a congratulations card from 1947 when I was born.  I found some cool stuff I plan to keep.

I also found all Dad's ties.  I was going to take it to California for Christmas and do what my son in law suggested and have each of us put on one of Dad's ties and then take a picture...but for some reason, I decided not to...  I also can't part with them... yet.  My oldest daughter suggested I make something from them.  I stored them in my art cupboard for further thought....later.

I found Dad's recorders.  One with a tape in it.  Unfortunately, he had misplaced the power cords....but he had the microphone.  I still have a tape/CD player and plan on listening to them one of these days...maybe when my sister comes to visit in March...

Two of my brothers are working on some tapes my youngest brother ran across just before Dad died.  He had recorded family history questions he posed to both Mom and Dad.  We only listened to Dad''s one night as a family, after Dad died.  I'll see what is on the tapes I found and then give them to my brothers to put on Cd's with the others.

I have a bin of my Dad's journals.  I'll start to read them, but find I get too sad.  It is so apparent he knew he was slipping and was doing his best to record everything...even the most mundane, because I think he struggled so much with routine daily things.

I've made a lot of progress with my Art Studio, whipping it back into shape, taking stock of all my supplies and gathering paintings I have done to upload onto my gallery on the online website.  I have opened a Pay Pal account, but have to call them tomorrow to answer a few questions before I join the online painting website.

I also opened my business account with my business name....but am still deliberating on my decision to use Mystical Journeys as my Art Blog.. with intermittent posts about my thoughts of Dad...or just making a new blog for my art.

I think I am pretty certain, for now, I will keep Mystical Journeys for writing about Dad...and what is going on in my life...and if I feel the need to do an art blog, I will know whether to combine it with this one or do a new one...

Feels Strange...

I feel weird coming to Mystical Journeys and not writing about Dad…maybe I'm trying to move on too quickly…

I kept all the Alzheimer's references, just moved them to the bottom of the blog…not ready to let that go in case it can be a help to someone…

Re-designed the blog…feels very strange…not sure if it feels right….

I miss my Dad.  This will be the first year we won't be visiting him at the nursing home.  We will visit him at the cemetery.  Will take him a Poinsettia…

I have no business being up this late…need to get to bed.

Venturing into the Unknown…Facing My Fears...

I am still contemplating what I should do with my blog…

The title of my blog, Mystical Journeys, was a name I conjured up long before my blog came into fruition.  I always wanted to have a blog, to explore my creativity and post my work….When I finally figured out how to create one, of course Mystical Journeys had to be the title….

As fate would have it, the day after creating my blog, I awoke early in the morning and found my Dad curled up in a fetal position on his living room floor by the front door.  I didn't know if he fell or was ill because he really could not communicate…he was ice cold, gray in color and mumbling about "the enemy striking at dawn"…

I called 411 and then called my brother to follow us to the ER and the rest is history…Dad never returned home.  We learned he could not be left alone, which is what our Mother had been telling us for some time…

I think I want to go back to my original dream for this blog…

And it comes at a serendipitous opportunity….I was talking with a childhood girlfriend last week…(we have known one another since the age of 10) and she shared a link of a mutual girlfriend from High School.  She and I were in Art classes together.  The link was a website where she displays/sells her art.

I checked out the link and then wrote my artist girlfriend telling her how much I enjoyed her work.  She wrote back and encouraged me to join…

One of my life long, creative, dreams has been to have a one woman show of my paintings and to write and sell a book.  Unfortunately, I allowed my negative voices/ self defeating demons to sabotage much of my progress.  My starting and stopping were the most consistent efforts toward my painting.  I did take a couple years of lessons after we moved here…but again, I allowed my self criticism to stop me from pursuing my dreams…

One thing I have learned in my life, and often preach to others; is the fact we are so much stronger than we think we are.  We also are so much more capable than we think we are.  I learned this when I was a single Mom raising my two daughters…

I suppose I challenged and pushed myself more back then because I was alone and totally responsible for the welfare of my children and myself, so I HAD to go beyond my comfort zone.  Many a night I sat wrapped in the safety of my thick, cozy "security" blanket, huddled over a hot cup of tea….my "cure all" for almost everything scary.

I even had a few panic attacks…but I forged ahead and did what I had to do…often "faking it until I made it".

Now, I am retired and married.  I think it is safe to say I am in a comfortable rut.  I certainly have TONS of time on my hands…(with the exception of it being the Christmas holiday season…)

I really want to explore this opportunity...  It is a daily painting website, although you don't have to paint every single day….but each submitted/uploaded painting is displayed on the home page so there would be much more exposure than posting my work on a blog….Although several of the artists also have a blog to show their process, explain techniques, give background or whatever….so I was thinking I could use Mystical Journeys for that purpose…

First, I must open a Pay Pal Account.  Never did that before, but it doesn't sound too difficult.  Then if I want my blog included, I must include it when I register to join the website.

I have always painted large paintings….but in doing larger paintings it is much more of an investment of time and money... and loss, if the paintings do not sell.  Most of the paintings done on the website are smaller, like 4x6, 5x7, 8x10, 6x6, 8x8, 12x12 etc….some larger ones 9x12….but it made me see a possibility of hope where I could accomplish the daily painting challenge by spending less time painting smaller art work.

But….could I take my undisciplined self and become disciplined?  I used to post to my blog every day…so it is possible…but that was four years ago…

Can you hear the excuses with all the buts????

It sure sounds like I am spending more time than I should convincing myself…What I should do is stop using the "should's" and do like Nike says to do…and JUST DO IT!

I announced on my other blog I was going to lose 20 pounds by the age of 65…and here I am 66 and still packing those 20 pounds….

I think this is exactly why I have not been posting much on either of my blogs.  I have to be honest when I post.  I can't kid myself.  I can't insult those who read my blog.  I have to speak from the heart.  I have to be vulnerable and speak my truth.  I have to be real.

The reason is -- I am disappointed in myself.  For the past four years I was my Father's Advocate and chronicled his Alzheimer's on my blog.  I had a purpose… Since my Dad's passing, I no longer feel I have an important purpose.  I am living 250 miles from my family, locked in a reverse mortgage, an uncooperative housing market, a challenging economy….with the added obstacle of my husband not wanting to move back to California….

When I was single, I had to depend on myself. I had to work and the buck stopped upon arrival with me.  Ironically, I felt stronger.  I got up early, got the girls to school, worked all day, grocery shopped at night, ran errands on the weekends or my lunch hour; cleaned and kept my house clean, cooked, and even did my own yard work.  I was so disciplined and organized. I had to…I had no choice.

That is one downside to retirement…if you don't keep a schedule…you turn into Scarlet O'Hara and "think about it tomorrow" and then tomorrow, keeps turning into tomorrow.  I NEED SOME DISCIPLINE desperately!

Who knows….if I challenged myself….did the work….immersed myself in creativity….became productive…kept at it….made up my mind, giving up, was not an option….and stayed at it, learning, improving, growing, until I made some comfortable money...  Maybe enough money to help with the trips to California….and who knows….wouldn't it be great if I could make enough to get a little place in CA so I could have the option to stay longer….and still have our home in Nevada…Oh that sounds so gooooooood…..

I have a huge collection of ideas and art tutorials on my Pinterest boards…so some where in the back of my subconscious, I have been preparing myself for this…

I have an art box where I store ideas or pictures which inspire me and I have written notes on those pictures with ideas….

The only way out of unhappiness or stagnancy is the inertia of ACTION.  I have to push away from my fears, tell my negative voices to SHUT THE HELL UP, and tell myself I CAN DO THIS.  Then, after I achieve my goal… I get to be proud of myself and reap the rewards of my efforts!

Nothing ventured….nothing gained….

Alzheimer's Awareness Week During the World Series....Wear the Bow Tie!

Alzheimer’s Association bow tie to be featured during World Series

FOX Sports baseball reporter Ken Rosenthal will be wearing an Alzheimer’s Association bow tie during Game 6 of the 2013 World Series on Wednesday night, Oct. 30, to help raise Alzheimer’s awareness. Rosenthal also wore an Association bow tie during last year’s World Series. Three cheers for Ken Rosenthal for for raising awareness for Alzheimer's this week.