This has been a rough week of visits with Dad... I arrived this past Thursday; my brother arrived last Monday and has been visiting every day. The last two days we found Dad in bed sleeping. He was so sleepy yesterday we could not even wake him up except for a sip of water...
The day before he was cold and afraid. I got him an extra blanket and rubbed his back while my brother read him the Bible and rubbed Dad's head.
My daughter Jodee wanted to visit with us today and drove up from Riverside county. Mom, my brother, Jodee and I went to visit Dad, prepared for the worst. When we arrived, we found Dad sitting in his wheel chair in the lunch room waiting for lunch.
Dad is so pale, gaunt and weak, but he perked up when he saw us. He was thrilled to see Jodee, his grand daughter. We took Dad out on the patio and parked him at an umbrella table with his back a wee bit in the sun.
He was happy to see us and chatted in a weak voice, but with more volume than we have heard most of the week. He was flirty and feisty. He asked if we had ever gone with him up the elevator to the top floor of the nursing home (it is only one story) but in Dad's mind, it is a skyscraper and went on and on about the view and his office up there.
His caretaker brought his lunch outside. It looked and smelled devine! Meatloaf with gravy, mashed potatoes with gravy, diced beets, strawberry ice cream, pudding, bread and butter, milk, grapejuice and coffee. My brother fed Dad dessert first from one side of Dad and I fed him his lunch from the other side of Dad.
He told us his ear hurt. He said it was "pounding" but then told us when he goes to the beach it is always so loud...so to be safe, I told the nurse of Dad's complaints. I also noted his appeared to have a swollen spot on the upper right side of his nose. Dad also complained of me hurting his nose when I wiped it for him. He told me I hurt him...
I apologized and told him I was sorry and he told me, "Well, then DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Feisty!
He was very taken with my daughter Jodee...(because he is such a shameless flirt) he told her how much he loves pretty girls and wants to kiss them...but he wants to kiss them a hundred times! We all roared with laughter.
When it came to drink, Dad usually coughs because he is either having difficulty swallowing and/or he coughs and chokes. When he was drinking his coffee, I kept warning him to sip and not guzzle.... He tried to guzzle and started to cough, so to hide the fact he was coughing, he coughed, then went..."HAHA..HOHOHO...HEEHEEHEE"....we all laughed again.
My daughter took pictures and promised to send us copies, so I will post them when she has time to send them to me.
The Social Worker came out on the patio as we were finishing up the pictures and asked if we needed any services for Dad. I told her Dad needed a hair cut, his eye brows trimmed as well as his ears, nostrils and mustache. I mentioned Dad's complaint of the pounding in his ears, the sore nose and the little swelling on his upper lip.
She asked if he needed to see the Dentist and we told her NO. I also told her he needed his nails trimmed on his fingers and toes.
Dad has not been eating well all week, but today, he ate 100% at breakfast and 100% at lunch! Very happy for all of us to see Dad so animated and wanting to eat.
After finishing lunch, Dad thought it would be good to go back inside....so we wheeled him back inside and toward his room. While walking down the isle, we greeted several of the staff members and gave them hugs. His male caregiver for the day wanted to look at Dad's upper lip and told us Dad used to have a scrab on his upper lip and he kept picking it...he felt it was OK.
Two young nurses and Doctor-Doctor came up to Dad and began talking with Dad. We all said our good byes, but Dad was totally focused on the young woman and treated us like "chopped liver". We told him we would all see him tomorrow and he told us he would look forward to it.
Tomorrow all six of Dad's children will be there in addition to some spouses, and grand kids, for Father's Day. We'll have to take up a couple of tables...we'll have so many family members...it should be a good day for Dad.
What a relief to see him more alert and social. My daughter was thrilled as I had prepared her for the worst. She was very happy to have such a positive time with her precious "lil' Papa" as both my daughters refer to him...Mom, my brother and I were very relieved too.
"Let's have lunch at In and Out", my brother suggested, and we all agreed. Today was definitely a good day.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Woeful Weariness...
My brother B____ from Ohio arrived in Ontario this past Monday. He was praying Dad would recognize him and realize he had come to see Dad... He has been at Dad's bedside every day reading the Bible to Dad.
Mom has been going with my brother as she would not want him to go alone because it is flat out too emotionally difficult for most of us to go alone.
His first time seeing Dad my brother asked if he knew who he was because when Dad looked at him, Dad didn't respond. All of us have always looked forward and enjoyed Dad's exuberant welcoming. His face lights up and he rushes to greet us with big bear hugs and smiles. Dad looked at my brother and responded, "Yes, you are my son." No emotion. I think Dad is just too tired to muster up any excitement.
I experienced the same thing the last time I visited Dad with Mom....Dad kept his hands clasped in his lap and did not respond happily to my calling him my pet name, "Papa Doots". He usually ignites into joyful happiness, calls out my name and reaches to pull me in for a hug and kiss. He did none of that and it made me cry.
I think he is "on his last road" toward the Lord...
It seems everything is an effort....even eating.
We've discussed the possibility of suggesting a soft food diet, but have concerns it might hasten a disinterest in eating...knowing, eventually, he will stop eating...
I was suppose to leave Tuesday, which I rescheduled to Wednesday...and now it will be tomorrow, Thursday, before I leave to drive to California...
I am all packed, but I am emotionally exhausted.
It takes so much intestinal fortitude to prepare myself for the 250 mile drive to Mom's house knowing what we all face when I get there; plus the emotional preparation I need to psyche myself up to go see Dad...I feel wiped out before I even leave.
I feel Dad slipping away, knowing soon he will be out of our sight and will live in our hearts and memories...
Despite preparing one's self for a parent's death, when it gets close, and I am certain when it comes, the flood gates will open and many tears of sadness and frustration will cover our lives for months and possibly years to come...
Yet, at the same time, intertwined with our grief will be relief. Dad is not really aware of all his physical and medical issues...he lives in the demented bubble, where he may be aware for a nano second, only to have the thought dissolve as he diverts to the face of a pretty nurse. If he were conscious and aware, he would abruptly have a heart attack.
Dad lived haunted by unmet expectations demanded by his Father. Consequently, it crippled him from making important or quick decisions. He was a serial procrastinator with anything urgent. He lived in denial from the ability to not see how it affected those around him. He over analyzed to the point of exhaustion. He made a career out of going in circles. His one and only focus was his family. He loved all of us without question, we could all feel it...but we knew he was not reliable except for limited conversations.
Mom ALWAYS filled in the gaps Dad left. Much of the time, we resented her for it...Now we look back in awe at what she did daily without acknowledgment. She was the-go-to-person we all went to when there was a problem. Dad would listen and give advice, but he could not follow up or be responsible for helping, except for physical labor. We collectively felt and accepted his weaknesses. We never confronted him on it, we just lived with it. Dad was intelligent, strong as an ox, spiritual, gentle, kind, imaginative, inventive, a nature lover, farmer, spoke to and understood both plants and animals almost better than he could relate to humans; he was introspective, eccentric, quirky and quiet and we loved him for who he was.
I speak of Dad in the past tense because he is. The Dad we see today is no where close to the Dad we knew and lived with all our lives. Dad was always puttering. I can think of three times when I saw Dad lying down during the day; when he had mumps, when his appendix burst and with blood poisoning from a redwood splinter... We see what we want to see now because we cannot bare to see the shell of a man left behind from the insidious plague called Alzheimer's . The disease is an invisible thief, sneaking into one's life stealing slowly and indiscriminately until everything is gone and one is left with nothing but loss and death.
It makes my soul ache to see Dad the way he is. I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy...
When I see Dad I have this soft ball sized lump lodged in my throat, my eyes constantly water and I feel like I am visiting some one else's Father not knowing what to say...
All the history we shared throughout our lives are now intermittent. Some times he seems to relate, but most of the time, he doesn't. I am relieved he closes his eyes most of the time, because the blank stare when he looks at me is so much worse.
I find the only way I can motivate myself to go see him is the faith we share, the memories we savor and the knowledge we must gather around him while we all wait for the glorious chariot from the sky to come and carry our Father home...
Mom has been going with my brother as she would not want him to go alone because it is flat out too emotionally difficult for most of us to go alone.
His first time seeing Dad my brother asked if he knew who he was because when Dad looked at him, Dad didn't respond. All of us have always looked forward and enjoyed Dad's exuberant welcoming. His face lights up and he rushes to greet us with big bear hugs and smiles. Dad looked at my brother and responded, "Yes, you are my son." No emotion. I think Dad is just too tired to muster up any excitement.
I experienced the same thing the last time I visited Dad with Mom....Dad kept his hands clasped in his lap and did not respond happily to my calling him my pet name, "Papa Doots". He usually ignites into joyful happiness, calls out my name and reaches to pull me in for a hug and kiss. He did none of that and it made me cry.
I think he is "on his last road" toward the Lord...
It seems everything is an effort....even eating.
We've discussed the possibility of suggesting a soft food diet, but have concerns it might hasten a disinterest in eating...knowing, eventually, he will stop eating...
I was suppose to leave Tuesday, which I rescheduled to Wednesday...and now it will be tomorrow, Thursday, before I leave to drive to California...
I am all packed, but I am emotionally exhausted.
It takes so much intestinal fortitude to prepare myself for the 250 mile drive to Mom's house knowing what we all face when I get there; plus the emotional preparation I need to psyche myself up to go see Dad...I feel wiped out before I even leave.
I feel Dad slipping away, knowing soon he will be out of our sight and will live in our hearts and memories...
Despite preparing one's self for a parent's death, when it gets close, and I am certain when it comes, the flood gates will open and many tears of sadness and frustration will cover our lives for months and possibly years to come...
Yet, at the same time, intertwined with our grief will be relief. Dad is not really aware of all his physical and medical issues...he lives in the demented bubble, where he may be aware for a nano second, only to have the thought dissolve as he diverts to the face of a pretty nurse. If he were conscious and aware, he would abruptly have a heart attack.
Dad lived haunted by unmet expectations demanded by his Father. Consequently, it crippled him from making important or quick decisions. He was a serial procrastinator with anything urgent. He lived in denial from the ability to not see how it affected those around him. He over analyzed to the point of exhaustion. He made a career out of going in circles. His one and only focus was his family. He loved all of us without question, we could all feel it...but we knew he was not reliable except for limited conversations.
Mom ALWAYS filled in the gaps Dad left. Much of the time, we resented her for it...Now we look back in awe at what she did daily without acknowledgment. She was the-go-to-person we all went to when there was a problem. Dad would listen and give advice, but he could not follow up or be responsible for helping, except for physical labor. We collectively felt and accepted his weaknesses. We never confronted him on it, we just lived with it. Dad was intelligent, strong as an ox, spiritual, gentle, kind, imaginative, inventive, a nature lover, farmer, spoke to and understood both plants and animals almost better than he could relate to humans; he was introspective, eccentric, quirky and quiet and we loved him for who he was.
I speak of Dad in the past tense because he is. The Dad we see today is no where close to the Dad we knew and lived with all our lives. Dad was always puttering. I can think of three times when I saw Dad lying down during the day; when he had mumps, when his appendix burst and with blood poisoning from a redwood splinter... We see what we want to see now because we cannot bare to see the shell of a man left behind from the insidious plague called Alzheimer's . The disease is an invisible thief, sneaking into one's life stealing slowly and indiscriminately until everything is gone and one is left with nothing but loss and death.
It makes my soul ache to see Dad the way he is. I would not wish this disease on my worst enemy...
When I see Dad I have this soft ball sized lump lodged in my throat, my eyes constantly water and I feel like I am visiting some one else's Father not knowing what to say...
All the history we shared throughout our lives are now intermittent. Some times he seems to relate, but most of the time, he doesn't. I am relieved he closes his eyes most of the time, because the blank stare when he looks at me is so much worse.
I find the only way I can motivate myself to go see him is the faith we share, the memories we savor and the knowledge we must gather around him while we all wait for the glorious chariot from the sky to come and carry our Father home...
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Shrinking Away...
Mom went to visit Dad on my brother E's birthday June 6th....two days before mine.... She found Dad sitting in the dining room asleep in his wheel chair. One of the attendants got Mom a chair so she could sit down. When Mom tapped Dad to wake him, he spoke so softly Mom could barely hear him. He spoke the same way when Mom and I last visited him.
Dad seemed very tired. Dad's male nurse for the day told Mom how spry Dad had been earlier in the day...but Mom does not see it. She feels he is really slipping. She told me Dad "is like hugging a bag of bones"...
Dad kept his eyes closed and didn't talk much. Mom was not sure if he was sleeping or just out of it...
Doctor-Doctor came up to give Mom and Dad a hug hello. Dad smiled and told her he loved her. He asked for some lemons because he wanted to make something...
Dad's lunch arrived and Mom fed Dad. As usual Dad wanted to gulp down his coffee and milk first thing, but he is losing the ability to control his throat when he swallows and begins coughing and spitting out the liquid... Mom attempted to get him to sip, but Dad insists on gulping it all at once, which always makes him choke.
Dad ate all his soup, egg salad sandwich, his peaches and ice cream (of course) but wanted nothing to do with his salad.
Mom noticed his finger nails were trimmed neat and short, he had been shaved and his mustache trimmed neatly so it did not hang down and irritate him. Mom noticed his hair was a bit long and ask one of the attendants when Dad would get a hair cut and he told her he would make a note of it.
Mom also asked "Pickles" if she would help Dad brush his teeth. "Pickles" told Mom she had tried to help Dad this morning but he became very aggravated and told her he did not want to brush his teeth...(highly unusual for Dad not to want his teeth brushed...)
Dad put his head down and appeared to be going to sleep after finishing his lunch. Mom inquired if he was tired and Dad told her he was ready for his nap...
Dad's male nurse assured Mom he would give Dad an Ensure and more ice cream when Dad woke up from his nap.
Mom had prepared herself for a depressing visit, but it was very sad to see Dad so lifeless...
**************
I received a call from the nursing home today. They weigh Dad every Sunday and call me either Sunday or Monday. Dad has lost 4 more pounds this week....bringing him down to 116 pounds. His oxygen was at 96%. He had eaten 100% of his breakfast and 70% of his lunch.
His WBC is back up to 17.3 so his primary care doctor put him on a new antibiotic, Doxicillin (? not sure how to spell it.)
I have a horrible sense of dread....
Dad seemed very tired. Dad's male nurse for the day told Mom how spry Dad had been earlier in the day...but Mom does not see it. She feels he is really slipping. She told me Dad "is like hugging a bag of bones"...
Dad kept his eyes closed and didn't talk much. Mom was not sure if he was sleeping or just out of it...
Doctor-Doctor came up to give Mom and Dad a hug hello. Dad smiled and told her he loved her. He asked for some lemons because he wanted to make something...
Dad's lunch arrived and Mom fed Dad. As usual Dad wanted to gulp down his coffee and milk first thing, but he is losing the ability to control his throat when he swallows and begins coughing and spitting out the liquid... Mom attempted to get him to sip, but Dad insists on gulping it all at once, which always makes him choke.
Dad ate all his soup, egg salad sandwich, his peaches and ice cream (of course) but wanted nothing to do with his salad.
Mom noticed his finger nails were trimmed neat and short, he had been shaved and his mustache trimmed neatly so it did not hang down and irritate him. Mom noticed his hair was a bit long and ask one of the attendants when Dad would get a hair cut and he told her he would make a note of it.
Mom also asked "Pickles" if she would help Dad brush his teeth. "Pickles" told Mom she had tried to help Dad this morning but he became very aggravated and told her he did not want to brush his teeth...(highly unusual for Dad not to want his teeth brushed...)
Dad put his head down and appeared to be going to sleep after finishing his lunch. Mom inquired if he was tired and Dad told her he was ready for his nap...
Dad's male nurse assured Mom he would give Dad an Ensure and more ice cream when Dad woke up from his nap.
Mom had prepared herself for a depressing visit, but it was very sad to see Dad so lifeless...
**************
I received a call from the nursing home today. They weigh Dad every Sunday and call me either Sunday or Monday. Dad has lost 4 more pounds this week....bringing him down to 116 pounds. His oxygen was at 96%. He had eaten 100% of his breakfast and 70% of his lunch.
His WBC is back up to 17.3 so his primary care doctor put him on a new antibiotic, Doxicillin (? not sure how to spell it.)
I have a horrible sense of dread....
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Loosing More Weight...
I got a call from the nursing home this afternoon. The nurse informed me Dad had lost 5 pounds in one week. He is now down to 120.
His eating is at 74%. He really appears to be slowing down... I asked if he had diarrhea and she told me he did not. I wondered because he is on so much antibiotics to keep the skin cancer growth on his baby toe from becoming infected.
I can't help but feel Dad is beginning his journey toward the light...
His eating is at 74%. He really appears to be slowing down... I asked if he had diarrhea and she told me he did not. I wondered because he is on so much antibiotics to keep the skin cancer growth on his baby toe from becoming infected.
I can't help but feel Dad is beginning his journey toward the light...
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
At Last, A Good Visit...Happiness...
Mom and my sister Holly went to visit Dad yesterday, May 27th, on Memorial Day. After the arrived they had to wait a bit as Dad was getting his shower. When Dad was dressed and ready, they wheeled him out front of the nursing home where there is a nice patio and lots of Spring flowers. They parked him so his sun got plenty of warm sunshine and Mom remembered to bring his sunglasses. He gave each of them a warm smile and told them how good it felt...
Dad Memorial Day, 2013
Dad called my sister by name and cooed to Mom, "his beautiful wife, Lynnie..." Mom and Holly chatted with Dad filling him in on family events...My sister told Dad about her first grand son being taken to Big Bear for the weekend with his parents and showed Dad pictures. Dad roared with laughter at the his picture below...
Baby B...my sister's first grand child (boy) decked out for sun and water fitted with his life vest, beanie hat, sunglasses and his "Binkie" (pacifier).
As they talked, Dad dosed and occasionally put his head up and moved his shoulders with pleasure saying how the sun made him feel so good...
What a difference a change of attitude and some warm sun can make in our lives...Once again it reminds me how it is all about the simple and little things in life which make us happiest.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Updates, Another Trip to California, a Difficult Visit and Decision for Dad's Care Conference...
I arrived in California last Wednesday (May 15th) and spent two days with my oldest daughter in Beaumont. My oldest grand son (the 10 year old) did a report on Mickey Mantle. As part of his report, he was to dress as the person he wrote about and stand like a statue in front of his display. He had a button which we all had to push and then my grand son would begin to recite his report. He had 17 people push his button. We all enjoyed all the individual and interesting reports his class mates selected as well.
I helped my daughter prepare and make decorations for my younger daughter Jodee's Bridal shower on May 19th, held and talked with my newest grandson, Baby G as well as his brothers... (My oldest daughter is very protective of her boys, so again, she is my disclaimer as she will not allow me to put any pictures or mention the names of the 10 year old, the 8 year old or the newest, Baby G.)
Friday I drove to Mom's home and spent the night. We had visits from two of my brothers, which ended up being a really fun time filled with laughter as we looked through the family pictures Mom and I were sorting through.
Saturday morning, Mom and I drove to Claremont to meet my sister Holly for a delayed Birthday and Mother's Day celebration. We enjoyed a relaxing breakfast at Walter's restaurant in the Village, then did some thrift store and other shopping before a nice lunch at Chili's in Glendora where we also saw the movie The Big Wedding, which was a HUGE disappointment and I would NOT RECOMMEND it.
Since twisting my ankle last November, I can no longer wear flip flops. I found some really comfortable shoes by Sketcher's called GO WALKS, which are a slip on tennis shoe. VERY COMFORTABLE. I bought them at Kohl's and told both Mom and Holly about them. Mom hates to shop, so she usually waits in the car while my sister and I shopped. We decided to buy Mom a pair and split the cost. We had Mom try them on in the parking lot...and she LOVED THEM! Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!
Sunday, my sister, my nephew's wife (Mother of my sister's FIRST GRAND SON), several of my daughter's friends, Mom and I attended my youngest daughter's Bridal shower. She looked beautiful and we all had a great time. The highlight was my oldest daughter asking my youngest daughter questions asked to my daughter's fiancé. For every wrong answer, Jodee had to shove a piece of Double-Bubble gum into her mouth, chew it and continue to answer questions. Thankfully, for her, she answered 10 right out of 15...and technically, four of the five were right, but the girlfriend holding the bubble gum was very motivated to keep sticking it into her mouth... My oldest daughter did a magnificent job of decorating as well as baking all the yummy goodies. It was a fun shower.
The rest of my visit I stayed with Mom, finishing our "photo project" sorting through all the family photos. We had so many, we decided to make a big envelope for each kid in the family. Now Mom has all the family photos all organized and in labeled photo boxes. I did some cleaning and more de-cluttering so Mom can get the carpets cleaned, buy a new living room set and hire a cleaning lady.
Last Monday I called and made reservations for our favorite hotel in Laguna to stay in January for three nights. Mom, my daughter Jodee, my sister Holly and I are going. My older daughter Holly may join us for a day. We used to go every year, but have not gone for the past three or four years.
This past Tuesday, May 21, 2013, was my Dad's Care Conference. Mom usually attends alone with me attending via the telephone. It turned out to be my turn for a depressing visit... I was very emotional and Mom was forced to be the strong one...
Mom and I found Dad parked in his wheel chair against the wall, slumped over with both his eyes closed. His hair was combed nicely, his hands were "lubed up" (due to his dry skin) and he wore a nice, soft, baby blue jogging suit with a beige t-shirt. He looked frail, thin and gaunt.
I went over to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder and greeted him with my pet name for him, "Papa-Doots".... no response...
I shook his shoulder softly and called to him again. Very softly, so low I could barely hear what he was saying, he shook his head in disagreement...
Shaken, I went back over to where Mom had been standing, talking with one of the care givers. Doctor-Doctor walked up wheeling another patient and gave us both hugs. She stopped and looked around the corner and said something to another nurse who went over and bent over talking to Dad....
I watched and did not see him responding to her either. Mom and I decided we would wheel him outside thinking it was too noisy for him to hear...
After wheeling him outside, he opened one eye and responded warmly to Mom...calling her "Lynnie, his wife..." He told her how beautiful she looked and how happy she looked. Mom told Dad I was there...
I sat in front of Dad on his "good ear" side, and greeted him again...his clasped hands never left his lap, he smiled and greeted me, calling me Donna...but did not reach out for a hug as he usually does. I did not feel he knew who I was...I brought my camera and took pictures...
We asked if the sun felt good on his back and he said it did. Mom asked if he would like his sunglasses and left to go check his room for He had not had a morning shave and his eyebrows and mustache needed trimming...
I asked how he felt...."Fine...I feel just fine..."
I asked if his teeth hurt..."No, I grit my teeth hard to keep them strong....I am afraid of losing them."
I watched as he gritted his teeth and made a mental note to ask the Social Worker at the nursing home to schedule Dad for a teeth cleaning...
I asked if his foot hurt..."No, it feels fine..."
I asked if his right eye hurt...."Yes, it hurts all the time..... I close my eyes and pretend I am blind so it makes me feel more comfortable..."
I was on the verge of tears anyway, so this pushed me over the edge and I began softly crying because I did not want him to hear...and thankfully, he kept his eyes closed so he could not see me...
All I could manage was, I love you Dad...
"I love you too Donna..."
I sat and memorized his face, as I often do on my visits...never taking for granted the fact it could be the last time I see him...The skin cancer on his upper lip looks like an open sore. It makes it difficult for the care givers to shave around it, so they are allowing him to have a mustache. Dad has always been meticulous in his grooming...so his tongue was constantly patrolling the edge of his mustache which was a bit un-even and needed a little trimming....
I asked Dad about his breakfast and he responded by telling me he did not eat that much...(although his male nurse told us he ate everything...)
Mom reappeared and announced she could not find his sunglasses.... (Mom and I have been de-cluttering and cleaning her home and found a couple of pairs...so Mom will bring them next visit...)
Mom saw how upset I was, so she chatted with Dad about family news in a cheerful and animated voice.... Dad enjoyed it...smiling....but still talking very softly...Dad kept yawning, opening his mouth to the biggest, longest yawns....We asked if he was tired and he told us he wasn't...
In between lulls in the conversation, Dad would announce random fears.... "I'm afraid the moon will fall on me... When I fly high in the sky, I am afraid to touch the moon...."
Mom skillfully changed the subject and told Dad she would soon be 86 in June...
"That's old...", Dad announced. Both Mom and I chuckled.
I told Dad I would be 66 in June....no comment by Dad...although I thought I detected a rise in his bushy eyebrows...
Mom asked Dad how old he would be...."Around 95" he stated... Mom reminded Dad he would be 93 in November.
"I'll take it." Dad smiled...
Mom asked how many children they shared....
"Five kids?" Mom corrected him again and told him they had six....and went on to inform him they had 12 grand kids and 5 great grand kids.
"Babies make me happy..." Dad sighed. Mom smiled, telling him how good he always was with all the children and grand children...
"I like horses soft noses..." Dad announced, changing the subject... I agreed with him on how soft horses noses were and how much we used to enjoy feeding the horses, and how their soft lips would tickle the palm of our hands as their lips would feel and search for the apples and carrots we would feed them. (I had a roan gelding quarter horse when I was a teenager and Dad and I would go up to the stables where we boarded "Rusty" and feed him.)
"I like riding horses....but I am afraid to fall off..."
I told Dad if he pretended or dreamed of riding horses, he would never fall off....
Dad exploded into a laugh-cough and told me, "That's right!"
"I like swimming in the Don River..." (We think this is a river Dad used to swim in in Connecticut...)
Mom complimented Dad on his swimming and how good of a swimmer he was...
"You used to like to swim too..." (meaning Mom) Mom quickly reminded him she did not swim (and still does not to this day)....
"Grandpa Watt loved to swim too...he LOVED the cold water. He used to take ice baths to prepare him to swim in the North Sea..." (in Ireland).
Mom and I agreed....Dad tells the story of his grand father a lot....
"I'm afraid of cold water....I don't like it..."
I told Dad not to worry...we'd make sure the water was nice for swimming...
"I don't worry anymore...." (Dad's mouth opened in a huge yawn, wide enough to see the back of his throat...)
Both of us told Dad we were glad to hear it...
"I always liked a lot of room....now I have it."
Mom and I looked at one another with questioned expressions...then shrugged and continued to listen to Dad...who continued to yawn like a garage door opening....
Mom pointed to her watch, indicating it was time for Dad's Care Conference...Mom leaned into Dad and told him we had an appointment so we would not have time to stay for lunch with him. Dad told her it was OK....
At Dad's Care Conference, we were happy to have the newest Hospice nurse sitting in with the rest of us. She has been excellent in keeping me informed of Dad's vitals, sending pictures of Dad's foot, following up on recent blood tests taken on Dad and updates on Dad's weight.
The nursing staff and wound care personnel for the nursing home have done an incredible job in keeping Dad's skin cancer growth on his toe, from infection over the past four years...but it is beginning to get a slight odor. The doctor ordered a blood test and Dad's WBC has been steadily rising from 19.3 to 23.8. Dad's doctor has had Dad on antibiotics and antibiotic cream for ten days at a time, then repeats the blood test. Dad is due for another blood test May 26th or 27th when the ten days of antibiotics is complete.
Dad weighs 125. His weight continues to go down, despite his appetite.
We reviewed Dad's Advance Directives... Our family has been discussing Dad's foot and have decided rather than amputating Dad's foot (if the infection should lead to it) we have decided allowing the infection to take him, keeping him medicated so he would not feel any pain, would be the most humane. All the staff agreed it was much better than putting him through surgery.
Dad is being given Tylenol 500mg every 12 hours. I asked the staff to monitor him closely and to consider giving him it more often with the possibility of giving him something stronger if indicated as Dad may not be able to articulate he is in pain... The Hospice nurse said she would follow up with Dad's doctor.
Dad has very poor circulation in his legs which adds to the difficulty is treating the skin cancer on his baby toe. In the past, Dad's doctor has said if we did amputate, it would have to be taken above his knee due to the poor circulation. Dad's doctor has been doing weekly Cryotherapy treatments to prevent the growth from getting too big.
Mom shared how much Barbara Karnes, a popular speaker, Author and Hospice Nurse, had helped her make difficult decisions for both herself and Dad. Mom has contacted the Neptune Society and arranged for both her and Dad's final arrangements. Mom also shared how meeting and talking with Barbara Karnes had given her such peace, eliminating her fear of death and dying.
Mom, my husband and I had recently attended a lecture from Barbara Karnes in Pasadena, CA while in California for my niece's wedding the beginning of May. We all really enjoyed it as well as meeting Barbara. Several of the staff were unfamiliar with her, but the Hospice nurse opened her binder showing us two of Ms. Karnes' books. (If interested, you can read her blog on link on top left column of my blog or read here.)
Several of the nurses and staff attending the Conference shared their personal stories in caring for their loved ones who had died. It was very moving and emotional listening and sharing. Two of the nurses had tears in their eyes when Mom and I shared the family decision...they genuinely care so much for Dad. We feel they are an extension of our family. We have been so blessed to have found this particular nursing home... the level of care has been extraordinary. The atmosphere is very homey and we have always commented on how the staff is always friendly and smiling...
After the Care Conference, Mom and grabbed some lunch "to go" and went to her Alzheimer's Support Group. She has a wonderful group of women and men to rally around her along with a compassionate and well informed Facilitator, who has become a dear friend.
I have been traveling back and forth between Nevada and California either alone or with my husband for various family events as well as visiting Dad since December, so my blogging as been few and far between. This month I was in California twice. Some days I don't know whether I am coming or going...
I have been commissioned to do an acrylic painting measuring 24" x 24". It is to be delivered by the end of June, so next month, despite family high school, grammar school graduations and birthdays I am planning on staying home to complete the painting.
I helped my daughter prepare and make decorations for my younger daughter Jodee's Bridal shower on May 19th, held and talked with my newest grandson, Baby G as well as his brothers... (My oldest daughter is very protective of her boys, so again, she is my disclaimer as she will not allow me to put any pictures or mention the names of the 10 year old, the 8 year old or the newest, Baby G.)
Friday I drove to Mom's home and spent the night. We had visits from two of my brothers, which ended up being a really fun time filled with laughter as we looked through the family pictures Mom and I were sorting through.
Saturday morning, Mom and I drove to Claremont to meet my sister Holly for a delayed Birthday and Mother's Day celebration. We enjoyed a relaxing breakfast at Walter's restaurant in the Village, then did some thrift store and other shopping before a nice lunch at Chili's in Glendora where we also saw the movie The Big Wedding, which was a HUGE disappointment and I would NOT RECOMMEND it.
Since twisting my ankle last November, I can no longer wear flip flops. I found some really comfortable shoes by Sketcher's called GO WALKS, which are a slip on tennis shoe. VERY COMFORTABLE. I bought them at Kohl's and told both Mom and Holly about them. Mom hates to shop, so she usually waits in the car while my sister and I shopped. We decided to buy Mom a pair and split the cost. We had Mom try them on in the parking lot...and she LOVED THEM! Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!
Sunday, my sister, my nephew's wife (Mother of my sister's FIRST GRAND SON), several of my daughter's friends, Mom and I attended my youngest daughter's Bridal shower. She looked beautiful and we all had a great time. The highlight was my oldest daughter asking my youngest daughter questions asked to my daughter's fiancé. For every wrong answer, Jodee had to shove a piece of Double-Bubble gum into her mouth, chew it and continue to answer questions. Thankfully, for her, she answered 10 right out of 15...and technically, four of the five were right, but the girlfriend holding the bubble gum was very motivated to keep sticking it into her mouth... My oldest daughter did a magnificent job of decorating as well as baking all the yummy goodies. It was a fun shower.
The rest of my visit I stayed with Mom, finishing our "photo project" sorting through all the family photos. We had so many, we decided to make a big envelope for each kid in the family. Now Mom has all the family photos all organized and in labeled photo boxes. I did some cleaning and more de-cluttering so Mom can get the carpets cleaned, buy a new living room set and hire a cleaning lady.
Last Monday I called and made reservations for our favorite hotel in Laguna to stay in January for three nights. Mom, my daughter Jodee, my sister Holly and I are going. My older daughter Holly may join us for a day. We used to go every year, but have not gone for the past three or four years.
This past Tuesday, May 21, 2013, was my Dad's Care Conference. Mom usually attends alone with me attending via the telephone. It turned out to be my turn for a depressing visit... I was very emotional and Mom was forced to be the strong one...
Mom and I found Dad parked in his wheel chair against the wall, slumped over with both his eyes closed. His hair was combed nicely, his hands were "lubed up" (due to his dry skin) and he wore a nice, soft, baby blue jogging suit with a beige t-shirt. He looked frail, thin and gaunt.
I went over to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder and greeted him with my pet name for him, "Papa-Doots".... no response...
I shook his shoulder softly and called to him again. Very softly, so low I could barely hear what he was saying, he shook his head in disagreement...
Shaken, I went back over to where Mom had been standing, talking with one of the care givers. Doctor-Doctor walked up wheeling another patient and gave us both hugs. She stopped and looked around the corner and said something to another nurse who went over and bent over talking to Dad....
I watched and did not see him responding to her either. Mom and I decided we would wheel him outside thinking it was too noisy for him to hear...
After wheeling him outside, he opened one eye and responded warmly to Mom...calling her "Lynnie, his wife..." He told her how beautiful she looked and how happy she looked. Mom told Dad I was there...
I sat in front of Dad on his "good ear" side, and greeted him again...his clasped hands never left his lap, he smiled and greeted me, calling me Donna...but did not reach out for a hug as he usually does. I did not feel he knew who I was...I brought my camera and took pictures...
We asked if the sun felt good on his back and he said it did. Mom asked if he would like his sunglasses and left to go check his room for He had not had a morning shave and his eyebrows and mustache needed trimming...
I asked how he felt...."Fine...I feel just fine..."
I asked if his teeth hurt..."No, I grit my teeth hard to keep them strong....I am afraid of losing them."
I watched as he gritted his teeth and made a mental note to ask the Social Worker at the nursing home to schedule Dad for a teeth cleaning...
I asked if his foot hurt..."No, it feels fine..."
I asked if his right eye hurt...."Yes, it hurts all the time..... I close my eyes and pretend I am blind so it makes me feel more comfortable..."
I was on the verge of tears anyway, so this pushed me over the edge and I began softly crying because I did not want him to hear...and thankfully, he kept his eyes closed so he could not see me...
All I could manage was, I love you Dad...
"I love you too Donna..."
I sat and memorized his face, as I often do on my visits...never taking for granted the fact it could be the last time I see him...The skin cancer on his upper lip looks like an open sore. It makes it difficult for the care givers to shave around it, so they are allowing him to have a mustache. Dad has always been meticulous in his grooming...so his tongue was constantly patrolling the edge of his mustache which was a bit un-even and needed a little trimming....
I asked Dad about his breakfast and he responded by telling me he did not eat that much...(although his male nurse told us he ate everything...)
Mom reappeared and announced she could not find his sunglasses.... (Mom and I have been de-cluttering and cleaning her home and found a couple of pairs...so Mom will bring them next visit...)
Mom saw how upset I was, so she chatted with Dad about family news in a cheerful and animated voice.... Dad enjoyed it...smiling....but still talking very softly...Dad kept yawning, opening his mouth to the biggest, longest yawns....We asked if he was tired and he told us he wasn't...
In between lulls in the conversation, Dad would announce random fears.... "I'm afraid the moon will fall on me... When I fly high in the sky, I am afraid to touch the moon...."
Mom skillfully changed the subject and told Dad she would soon be 86 in June...
"That's old...", Dad announced. Both Mom and I chuckled.
I told Dad I would be 66 in June....no comment by Dad...although I thought I detected a rise in his bushy eyebrows...
Mom asked Dad how old he would be...."Around 95" he stated... Mom reminded Dad he would be 93 in November.
"I'll take it." Dad smiled...
Mom asked how many children they shared....
"Five kids?" Mom corrected him again and told him they had six....and went on to inform him they had 12 grand kids and 5 great grand kids.
"Babies make me happy..." Dad sighed. Mom smiled, telling him how good he always was with all the children and grand children...
"I like horses soft noses..." Dad announced, changing the subject... I agreed with him on how soft horses noses were and how much we used to enjoy feeding the horses, and how their soft lips would tickle the palm of our hands as their lips would feel and search for the apples and carrots we would feed them. (I had a roan gelding quarter horse when I was a teenager and Dad and I would go up to the stables where we boarded "Rusty" and feed him.)
"I like riding horses....but I am afraid to fall off..."
I told Dad if he pretended or dreamed of riding horses, he would never fall off....
Dad exploded into a laugh-cough and told me, "That's right!"
"I like swimming in the Don River..." (We think this is a river Dad used to swim in in Connecticut...)
Mom complimented Dad on his swimming and how good of a swimmer he was...
"You used to like to swim too..." (meaning Mom) Mom quickly reminded him she did not swim (and still does not to this day)....
"Grandpa Watt loved to swim too...he LOVED the cold water. He used to take ice baths to prepare him to swim in the North Sea..." (in Ireland).
Mom and I agreed....Dad tells the story of his grand father a lot....
"I'm afraid of cold water....I don't like it..."
I told Dad not to worry...we'd make sure the water was nice for swimming...
"I don't worry anymore...." (Dad's mouth opened in a huge yawn, wide enough to see the back of his throat...)
Both of us told Dad we were glad to hear it...
"I always liked a lot of room....now I have it."
Mom and I looked at one another with questioned expressions...then shrugged and continued to listen to Dad...who continued to yawn like a garage door opening....
Mom pointed to her watch, indicating it was time for Dad's Care Conference...Mom leaned into Dad and told him we had an appointment so we would not have time to stay for lunch with him. Dad told her it was OK....
At Dad's Care Conference, we were happy to have the newest Hospice nurse sitting in with the rest of us. She has been excellent in keeping me informed of Dad's vitals, sending pictures of Dad's foot, following up on recent blood tests taken on Dad and updates on Dad's weight.
The nursing staff and wound care personnel for the nursing home have done an incredible job in keeping Dad's skin cancer growth on his toe, from infection over the past four years...but it is beginning to get a slight odor. The doctor ordered a blood test and Dad's WBC has been steadily rising from 19.3 to 23.8. Dad's doctor has had Dad on antibiotics and antibiotic cream for ten days at a time, then repeats the blood test. Dad is due for another blood test May 26th or 27th when the ten days of antibiotics is complete.
Dad weighs 125. His weight continues to go down, despite his appetite.
We reviewed Dad's Advance Directives... Our family has been discussing Dad's foot and have decided rather than amputating Dad's foot (if the infection should lead to it) we have decided allowing the infection to take him, keeping him medicated so he would not feel any pain, would be the most humane. All the staff agreed it was much better than putting him through surgery.
Dad is being given Tylenol 500mg every 12 hours. I asked the staff to monitor him closely and to consider giving him it more often with the possibility of giving him something stronger if indicated as Dad may not be able to articulate he is in pain... The Hospice nurse said she would follow up with Dad's doctor.
Dad has very poor circulation in his legs which adds to the difficulty is treating the skin cancer on his baby toe. In the past, Dad's doctor has said if we did amputate, it would have to be taken above his knee due to the poor circulation. Dad's doctor has been doing weekly Cryotherapy treatments to prevent the growth from getting too big.
Mom shared how much Barbara Karnes, a popular speaker, Author and Hospice Nurse, had helped her make difficult decisions for both herself and Dad. Mom has contacted the Neptune Society and arranged for both her and Dad's final arrangements. Mom also shared how meeting and talking with Barbara Karnes had given her such peace, eliminating her fear of death and dying.
Mom, my husband and I had recently attended a lecture from Barbara Karnes in Pasadena, CA while in California for my niece's wedding the beginning of May. We all really enjoyed it as well as meeting Barbara. Several of the staff were unfamiliar with her, but the Hospice nurse opened her binder showing us two of Ms. Karnes' books. (If interested, you can read her blog on link on top left column of my blog or read here.)
Several of the nurses and staff attending the Conference shared their personal stories in caring for their loved ones who had died. It was very moving and emotional listening and sharing. Two of the nurses had tears in their eyes when Mom and I shared the family decision...they genuinely care so much for Dad. We feel they are an extension of our family. We have been so blessed to have found this particular nursing home... the level of care has been extraordinary. The atmosphere is very homey and we have always commented on how the staff is always friendly and smiling...
After the Care Conference, Mom and grabbed some lunch "to go" and went to her Alzheimer's Support Group. She has a wonderful group of women and men to rally around her along with a compassionate and well informed Facilitator, who has become a dear friend.
I have been traveling back and forth between Nevada and California either alone or with my husband for various family events as well as visiting Dad since December, so my blogging as been few and far between. This month I was in California twice. Some days I don't know whether I am coming or going...
I have been commissioned to do an acrylic painting measuring 24" x 24". It is to be delivered by the end of June, so next month, despite family high school, grammar school graduations and birthdays I am planning on staying home to complete the painting.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Sad Times and a Depressing Visit...
Mom had a depressing visit with Dad yesterday. His last blood test indicates a rise in his red blood cells and the doctor expects it is Dad's foot. Prior to Dad going into the nursing home four years ago next month, he had a small blister on his left pinkie toe from wearing shoes which were too big for him. He insisted he wore a size 10 and he wore a size 9. He would wear extra socks to absorb the extra room in the shoe...
Dad also has poor leg circulation. Every time we attempted to have him treated, Dad would freak out, so we all decided unless he was in any pain or there was a medical emergency, we would leave it alone. The blister turned to a skin cancer and then became a growth. Now the growth is almost as large as his foot.
His doctor faithfully does Cryotherapy on his foot to keep the growth from getting bigger and staying away any infection. We all know if it does become seriously infected, he not only would remove his foot, but probably further up above his knee would have to be amputated. We all doubt Dad would survive surgery, and if he did, he would so upset at losing a leg...
Let it be a lesson to all those out there who procrastinate on medical issues. It is far easier and better to address an issue when it is small than to wait and stall only to deal with a far worse scenario. Dad was a habitual procrastinator prior to his disease, but after onset of the disease he also became so suspicious and paranoid, especially with doctors.
Mom found Dad asleep in his wheel chair in the dining room. When she greeted Dad, he asked, "How did you get here?" Then promptly shut his eyes and drift off back to sleep...
Doctor-Doctor brought Mom a chair. They both engaged Dad to get him awake. Dad was obsessed with the hair on his upper lip and kept running his tongue over it... Mom brought it to Doctor-Doctor's attention and she promised to personally shave him closer after the visit as she was not Dad's care taker for the day and did not shave him. Doctor-Doctor always does such an excellent job.
When Doctor-Doctor left, Dad returned to sleeping...slouched so low in his wheel chair Mom was nervous he would slip out of it...
Mom showed Dad the birth announcement of my youngest grand son, Baby G who is a little over one month old. Dad opened one eye, looked at it and smiled and went back to sleep. Mom took the announcement to Dad's room and hung it on his "wall of love" and returned. Dad was still asleep.
Dad's lunch was served: Chicken, rice & carrot soup in a wonderfully fragrant broth, chopped egg salad sandwich with pickles and olives, milk, mixed green salad, strawberry ice cream, strawberry Ensure, a banana, milk and coffee. Dad's sandwich was cut in half and Mom cut it again into fourths making it easier for Dad to handle.
Dad has a habit of gulping all of his coffee at once...no matter how hot...and when he does, he coughs and chokes. He got upset with Mom for making him pause in between gulps. While Dad was coughing, he sneezed twice and sprayed Mom and all the food on the table. Poor Mom...
Doctor-Doctor brought Dad his usual fruit plate, but Dad told her he did not want it...
Dad did not touch his salad, a little of his soup, but drank his coffee, milk, Ensure, ice cream and his banana. One of his favorite male care takers was helping serve at another table and greeted Dad in saying, "Hello Handsome".... Dad replied, "Inside or outside, I don't care." Not sure if Dad heard what he said or what....
Dad continued to dose in his seat. Another nurse stopped to chat with Mom. She had been on vacation for three weeks and told Mom she noticed since she returned, Dad seemed a lot more quiet and less interested. She told Mom Dad is always happy to listen and chair dance to music, but lately, he does not seem to care or notice.
The male care giver returned to ask if Dad wanted to go out on the patio...but Dad continued to sleep. Mom suggested Dad was tried and would prefer a nap. When Dad did not respond, the care giver wheeled Dad to his room. Mom kissed Dad's forehead but Dad apparently was too tired to respond.
Mom was pretty down after her visit...but we know this is part of the disease...we are thankful for the good visits and know every once in awhile we must endure the bad ones...
I am not being stingy with photos of my newest grandson... I am not posting any because my oldest daughter is very protective of her children and prefers I not post them.
We had some very sad news this morning. A dear family friend passed away early this morning after a two month hospital stay following surgery for esophageal and stomach cancer. We had visited him and his wife this past September in Missouri. We are so thankful for our wonderful memories and will miss him very much.
He was a life warrior, enthusiastic about life and made sure he made the most of each and every day. He was a talented carpenter making furniture and fixing things, an avid Gardner and tiller of the soil, a gourmet cook, a doting grand father and proud Father of two beautiful, talented and intelligent women and a wonderful, involved, loving husband. His career of choice was spent as a Chemist. His scientific mind sparked his curiosity about everything. He self published a mystery novel which I featured in my blog, and was in the process of writing another. He was a diligent Stewart of the earth and his fellow man. He had a terrific sense of humor, was very involved with his community and his political beliefs. Rest in peace dear friend.
Dad also has poor leg circulation. Every time we attempted to have him treated, Dad would freak out, so we all decided unless he was in any pain or there was a medical emergency, we would leave it alone. The blister turned to a skin cancer and then became a growth. Now the growth is almost as large as his foot.
His doctor faithfully does Cryotherapy on his foot to keep the growth from getting bigger and staying away any infection. We all know if it does become seriously infected, he not only would remove his foot, but probably further up above his knee would have to be amputated. We all doubt Dad would survive surgery, and if he did, he would so upset at losing a leg...
Let it be a lesson to all those out there who procrastinate on medical issues. It is far easier and better to address an issue when it is small than to wait and stall only to deal with a far worse scenario. Dad was a habitual procrastinator prior to his disease, but after onset of the disease he also became so suspicious and paranoid, especially with doctors.
Mom found Dad asleep in his wheel chair in the dining room. When she greeted Dad, he asked, "How did you get here?" Then promptly shut his eyes and drift off back to sleep...
Doctor-Doctor brought Mom a chair. They both engaged Dad to get him awake. Dad was obsessed with the hair on his upper lip and kept running his tongue over it... Mom brought it to Doctor-Doctor's attention and she promised to personally shave him closer after the visit as she was not Dad's care taker for the day and did not shave him. Doctor-Doctor always does such an excellent job.
When Doctor-Doctor left, Dad returned to sleeping...slouched so low in his wheel chair Mom was nervous he would slip out of it...
Mom showed Dad the birth announcement of my youngest grand son, Baby G who is a little over one month old. Dad opened one eye, looked at it and smiled and went back to sleep. Mom took the announcement to Dad's room and hung it on his "wall of love" and returned. Dad was still asleep.
Dad's lunch was served: Chicken, rice & carrot soup in a wonderfully fragrant broth, chopped egg salad sandwich with pickles and olives, milk, mixed green salad, strawberry ice cream, strawberry Ensure, a banana, milk and coffee. Dad's sandwich was cut in half and Mom cut it again into fourths making it easier for Dad to handle.
Dad has a habit of gulping all of his coffee at once...no matter how hot...and when he does, he coughs and chokes. He got upset with Mom for making him pause in between gulps. While Dad was coughing, he sneezed twice and sprayed Mom and all the food on the table. Poor Mom...
Doctor-Doctor brought Dad his usual fruit plate, but Dad told her he did not want it...
Dad did not touch his salad, a little of his soup, but drank his coffee, milk, Ensure, ice cream and his banana. One of his favorite male care takers was helping serve at another table and greeted Dad in saying, "Hello Handsome".... Dad replied, "Inside or outside, I don't care." Not sure if Dad heard what he said or what....
Dad continued to dose in his seat. Another nurse stopped to chat with Mom. She had been on vacation for three weeks and told Mom she noticed since she returned, Dad seemed a lot more quiet and less interested. She told Mom Dad is always happy to listen and chair dance to music, but lately, he does not seem to care or notice.
The male care giver returned to ask if Dad wanted to go out on the patio...but Dad continued to sleep. Mom suggested Dad was tried and would prefer a nap. When Dad did not respond, the care giver wheeled Dad to his room. Mom kissed Dad's forehead but Dad apparently was too tired to respond.
Mom was pretty down after her visit...but we know this is part of the disease...we are thankful for the good visits and know every once in awhile we must endure the bad ones...
I am not being stingy with photos of my newest grandson... I am not posting any because my oldest daughter is very protective of her children and prefers I not post them.
We had some very sad news this morning. A dear family friend passed away early this morning after a two month hospital stay following surgery for esophageal and stomach cancer. We had visited him and his wife this past September in Missouri. We are so thankful for our wonderful memories and will miss him very much.
He was a life warrior, enthusiastic about life and made sure he made the most of each and every day. He was a talented carpenter making furniture and fixing things, an avid Gardner and tiller of the soil, a gourmet cook, a doting grand father and proud Father of two beautiful, talented and intelligent women and a wonderful, involved, loving husband. His career of choice was spent as a Chemist. His scientific mind sparked his curiosity about everything. He self published a mystery novel which I featured in my blog, and was in the process of writing another. He was a diligent Stewart of the earth and his fellow man. He had a terrific sense of humor, was very involved with his community and his political beliefs. Rest in peace dear friend.
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