Some Days...

I called Dad yesterday... he was sitting in bed, watching "a good movie" and eating his lunch.  He knew who I was, but our conversation was bizarre.  The only positive was him telling me, "I got love."  Nothing else he said made any sense.

He probably was attempting to tell me about the movie... some days, it is just very frightening and disturbing.  It makes me miss the Dad I used to have... some days,  I have to work at not allowing, the fact he has to live in a nursing home, to take me to a dark place...

I love you Dad, so much... and I miss you....

Bless His Heart...

I just got a phone call from my sister, Holly.  She picked up Mom and they had gone to visit Dad.  They were suppose to call me so I could talk with Dad.  My sister warned me it had not been a good visit...

When they arrived, Mom was surrounded by the nurses and staff as she has not been to visit Dad in over a month.  Her fall last April has taken its toll on her back and consequently her legs.  While Mom was soaking in all the love, my sister went to the church services and found Dad sitting in his wheelchair with his eyes closed.

She wheeled him out to the patio and noticed immediately how horrible his eye is looking.  The entire lower lid is red, swollen and weeping.  Without a diagnosis, I am certain it is some type of cancer.  I am also sure the lesion on his temple is skin cancer as well.  His entire 90 years, living and loving the out of doors, much of it without sun screen until it was too late, has riddled him with skin cancer.  He had to have a large portion of his nose, by his nostrils removed several years before going into the nursing home...

My sister also noticed Dad was wearing  socks and sandals.  Apparently the staff had attempted to put on his usual foam booties (due to the basal cell carcinoma on his left pinkie toe) but to quote Dad, "he won the battle" and got shoes and socks.

My sister asked Dad to smile for Donna, so she could take a picture of his eye, and Dad's face brightened with a huge, happy smile."I feel kind of weak," Dad told her... then immediately threw up all of his breakfast.

Doctor-Doctor came running with towels and cleaned him up the best she could.  She told my sister Dad was fine when she gave him his shower this morning before his breakfast, but again, he had a big breakfast.  Holly followed Doctor-Doctor as she took Dad in the back way, so he would not be paraded through the community area in front of everyone.

Mom arrived to Dad's room shortly after he was cleaned up.  Dad had told everyone he was tired and wanted to sleep.  They removed his sandals and socks and elevated his feet with the his foam booties.  Dad did not resist the foam booties but complained he doesn't sleep well with his feet elevated...

My sister stood beside Dad and stroked his hair.  Dad saw Mom and smiled.  "I've been worried about you Lynnie.  How are you?"

Mom told him she was doing a lot better.  "I'm glad," he cooed as he closed his eyes, enjoying my sister's gentle touch.  Within minutes, he was snoring and sound asleep.

Mom is quite humped over and is walking very slowly.  She is very cautious of walking too far.  She told Holly she is not sore, so no doubt, she has compensated the pain she used to have and is now in the habit of walking this way. Her grand daughter graduated last night from LVN school and Mom did not attend, mainly because of all the walking.  Tonight my brother and his wife and having a big BBQ to celebrate her accomplishment.  Mom and my sister will go to it.

Unfortunately, we won't make it, so we sent her a card.  Her plan is to work as an LVN while she goes back to school to get her RN.  We are all very proud of her.

I called and spoke with the charge nurse.  She assured me Dad had only thrown up once.  I asked if he was getting enough water and she again, assured me he was.  She told me they had contacted the doctor and would keep me informed...  I know they will give in to Dad if occasionally he fights them with the foam booties.  We have all agreed it is not worth the fight, so to appease him, we let him think he is having his way.

Bless his heart, at his age, he is doing pretty darn well with all he has to deal with... We are so blessed to still have him.  We all are constantly amazed how he can still remember us with his dementia... but then, we have always been his top priority and focus...

May I just say, my prayers and thoughts go out to everyone up the coast with these hurricanes.  I have dear blogging friends in Georgia, New York, Virginia, Nova Scotia, Connecticut....all along there...so be safe dear friends, be safe.  God Bless you all.

Sometimes It Is Enough To Just Watch Him Sleep...

My youngest brother E____ went to visit Dad today.  Dad was fast asleep, sleeping like a baby.  Dad looked so relaxed and peaceful, my brother decided not to wake him.  Instead he sat with Dad and just watched him sleep...

Eleven Months Old Today...

Jacob, 11 months old today

My grandson Jacob will be one year old next month.  Does anyone feel like time is speeding past us like we are in some kind of a life race? I sure do!

Tomorrow, my youngest daughter, her boyfriend, co-worker and baby Jacob will arrive in town.  She is working a trade show as she is a spa resort retail buyer.  My husband and I will be driving over to meet them at their hotel, depending if they can check in early or not.  If not, they may drop my son in law and grandson off and we will drive them over later to meet the girls.

We'll get together a couple of days before they return to California early Thursday morning...

I just CAN'T WAIT to get my hands on this precious little boy....my dear grandson.

Happy Sunday everyone.

God Bless You Dad...I Really Needed To Hear That...

Finally got to talk with Dad this morning.  The past four days, I think the nursing home has given me every excuse in the book as to why I could NOT speak to Dad... Today, I was fed up and determined.  I talked to five people before they finally put Dad in an office and gave him the phone...

I told Dad how glad I was to speak with him and told him the trouble I have been having and the excuses I was given...after telling him about the shower excuse..."Oh yes!  I love our group showers.  I enjoy taking showers with all my friends..."  Going to have to check up on that statement...

"I am doing very well.  I feel WONDERFUL and that is how I like it to be."  That is what a positive attitude will do for 'ya!

"When are you coming to see me Donna Dee?"  He asked me every time I call and I always tell him a few weeks...even though it will not be until September...

I shared with Dad about our recent trip to Mammoth Lakes. He loves the mountains and out of doors, so he enjoyed hearing all about it.  He has always been incredibly supportive of my painting.  He tells me I am brilliant, because he always finds hidden objects within my art work, unintended by me. I always marveled at what he could see... He told me I have " a subconscious eye of creativity".

I told him about a picture I took of a branch in a tree off the balcony of the Mammoth house.  When I uploaded it to my computer, it was rotated up and down in portrait position rather than the landscape position I took it in.  To me, it looked like an Owl man warrior, charging through the forest...he has horns, eyes, nose and mouth in his face, and is wearing a chest shield on his chest.  One arm is raised as if to brush aside the tree branches as he rushes through the woods with his powerful legs....    Can you see him?

Owl man

This is the original picture of the branch...

Once again, Dad was not in the mood for a long conversation.  Typically, once he finds outs I am not coming today, he excuses himself and tells me he has to go...

I told him my husband sends his love and Izzy says, "woof!".  Dad laughed, as he always does.  I asked if he remembered when I had to take my German Shepherd, Major, to the shelter because he was so big, keep jumping our six foot fence, and destroyed everything when Dad was attempting to design and plant our  backyard.  Mom told both of us, it was not a good time to have pets...

At the shelter, I sobbed and cried when the shelter men tried to put him in a big cage.  We were outside and it took four men...just as they got him inside, I screamed I wanted Major's collar. Reluctantly, they opened the cage and struggled to get his collar off.

Another man joined them.  He looked at me and walked over to Dad and I where I clung to Dad is hysterics.  True or not, the man told me he owned a ranch and Major was just the kind of dog he was looking for, and asked if it would be OK if he took him home.  God Bless that man.  He made me feel so much better.

Dad felt so bad, he took me back inside the shelter and told me to pick out another, smaller dog this time.  I selected Miley, a calico type terrier mix with a happy smile on her face....

When Dad and I drove up, and I got out with Miley, my Mom's face dropped, but all she did was shake her head...she knew it was hopeless to disapprove...

Dad laughed and told me he remembered... "I get so excited and happy when I see a dog.  I just love animals."  I agreed and told Dad we all got our love of animals from him...

I told Dad maybe I could bring Izzy to meet him... "Oh I would LOVE that!"  I will have to check into that too.  If not, I must remember to bring my laptop next time, so he can see the pictures better...

"I better sign off dear... someone is going to need this room....I am in some one's office..."

I told him I loved him and missed him.  I told him how much I was looking forward to seeing him soon...

"I love you too Firstborn...thank you so much...the best came through you, because you found this place for me.  I am so happy here and they take such good care of me..."

God Bless you Dad...I really needed to hear that today...

Missing Dad...

The past several days, I have not been able to reach Dad...same old thing...the nurses are passing out medications...he is in the shower...passing out trays for lunch....he is asleep...FRUSTRATING...

Dad had one of the nurses call Mom last night.  He wanted to know how she is feeling.  So typical of Dad.  Still in love with Mom after 66 years of marriage.  He has always been maternal as a mother hen...checking on his chicks...

Letters from Dad were always rare.  The few I have received, I have saved.  Mom usually wrote on behalf of both of them.  Dad would make phone calls.  I can still remember, after I moved down to the beach in my first apartment.  Dad dressed up in suit and drove down to take me to dinner.  Precious memories for sure...

I will try again this morning...lately, when I do reach him, our conversations have been a lot shorter.  He always asks when I am coming to visit.  I tell him two weeks, regardless of how much longer it will be, and as soon as he hears that, he tells me how he will look forward to it and thanks me for calling.

I think he is more visually stimulated by the nurses bustling around, other residents nearby, sounds, activities and wants to be part of it... still, I miss our longer conversations...

Dad Taken To The Hospital...

I received a phone call from the nursing home this morning.  Dad had been throwing up since after breakfast.  His doctor prescribed some medication to help with the nausea, but it did not seem to work. He had no temperature, but was very pale and weak.

The nurse told me they called the ambulance to transport him to the hospital for lab work and tests.  I had attempted to talk with Dad, but he was too sick.  The nurse relayed my message, telling him we loved him and I would call him at the hospital.

I called at 3:30pm and his nurse could not tell me if he would be admitted.  She said he had not thrown up since his arrival.  They had him on some nausea medication and it seemed to be working. 

I asked if I could speak with Dad.  She returned to the phone, telling me Dad said to tell me he loves me, he is doing fine and he is up to his old tricks... The nurse laughed and said he was a huge flirt.  I laughed too, telling her to be prepared!

I just checked with his nurse at 5pm.  She told me his potassium was a little high, so he was given medication to lower it.  His glucose was slightly elevated, but everything else looked good.  She suggested the nursing home encourages fluids and water.  They will be returning Dad to the nursing home.  She told me not to worry...

Thank you Lord!

Maybe We Need To Dig Up the Backyard...

My sister Holly went to visit Dad today.  Other than needing a shave, he looked great.  Dad told her how wonderful he felt and was so happy to see her.

 
She brought him an oatmeal raisin cookie with some apple juice.  He scarfed it all down, telling her how fabulous the apple juice was.

She had just finished her Apple Mac One on One lesson, so she had her laptop with her.  She took Dad out on the patio and showed him pictures on the laptop.  It was much easier for him to view as opposed to a camera or cell.  He even told Holly he would like to have a laptop, as he could really use one...

Dad began talking about the buried gold and oil in the backyard of their old house.  This makes the third time he has brought it up...maybe we need to go digging in the backyard...  Holly asked him how he knew about this, and Dad told her he had seen it.  The treasure belonged to his father and grand father...

The nursing home is finishing up its renovations.  The entry is now more opened up and larger.

They visited and enjoyed the pictures of the family for quite awhile.  Dad finally said he wanted to lie down, so my sister wheeled him back inside and left him with the charge nurse.

Holly called Mom after her visit, as Mom said she was not feeling up to going to see Dad.  Her back and left leg are still bothering her.  She canceled the plane reservations for both her and Holly.  They had planned on attending a family friend's wedding on the 13th, but Mom knew she would not be up to any walking....

Holly got a list of groceries for Mom and brought them back to Mom's house.  Mom was having trouble standing and moving.  She will be continuing her chiropractor visits this week.